Click Here!

Reviews for Yuugi's Decision

By : KenaStar
  • From ANON - Tasha on January 09, 2007
    Very well done...that DM and Kuriboh bit was cool too. And the reactions were great!
    Report Review

  • From Saka on August 10, 2005
    Nice lemon for your very first one. Really great job! I love fics where Yugi makes the first move.

    ~IceAngel~
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Animefan249 on November 20, 2004
    This was a wonderful story, i wish it lasted longer though.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - shorty on September 11, 2004
    his i like it was soooooooo HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Liann on April 08, 2004
    wow! me likie! Plez write more! -^^-
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Cherise on January 02, 2004
    Excellent story. I cannot believe that is your first lemon. Very good. Loved the description of Yami, what a sexy beast he is. Please write more:)
    Report Review

  • From ANON - IYYASHI on July 28, 2003
    Yuji: I thought Yugi was supposed to be the innocent one of that pairing?
    Yumi: The innocent can sometimes suprise you by being quite dominate
    Yuji: I liked it!!
    Yumi: Of course you did your favorite pairing is Yugi/Yami!
    Yuji: YUP!!
    Yumi: Nice job! I'm not complaining
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Jadesaber on June 28, 2003
    I liked that. It was interesting. I thought it was funny when Dark Magician just left Yami and when Yami woke up tied up.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - yugifan on March 23, 2003
    VERY VERY VERY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
    LOVED IT YOU SHOULD WRIGHT MORE TO IT ALSO TO MAKE IT EVEN BETTER
    IF THATS POSSIBLE ITS SO GOOD.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - mrskaiba on March 22, 2003
    Holy smokes that's hot! I loved it! Good job....U should write more....
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Kalina on March 21, 2003
    Very, very good. I am very pleased with this fic. I just add to all the dead fanfiction everywhere. I was wondering...do you think I could continue your story for you? Since this is, after all, a dead fic. (I hope :p) Well, feel free to email me at any time. Or just IM me on AIM. My screen name is VM OB Kalina. Farewell!
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Red Dragon on March 03, 2003
    Hey this is the Red Dragon nice job on fic it was cool and really about time with those two sheesh Yami can be so STUBOURN i swear but other then that its the best ive read of the two best charactors on Yu-Gi-Oh well l8sers
    Report Review

  • From ANON - ShyLemonLover on February 21, 2003
    :::Blush:::

    Okay- your fanfic would be perfect but there are some flaws I would like helping you with.

    That’s okay thou. This is your first lemon- right? Umm- may I ask- is this your first fanfic?

    I haven’t written my first lemon yet since I haven’t yet decided which idea to do first^^;(and I'm shy) but I have been writing fanfics for almost three years now^_^*v-signs*

    Your Flaws: (Sorry to be blunt^^but I don’t dance.)

    1. Its ‘Yugi’ not ‘Yuugi’

    2.You use their names too much. Since there’s only two people *Cough*GettingItOn*Cough* there would be to confusion to whose doing what to who.

    Remember to thi things like: Him, his, he, and, he’s – more often.

    You can also substitute their name for a nickname while talking and thinking. Like: ‘Luv’ ‘My light’ ‘Pet’ ‘Koi’ ‘Brat’ ‘Little one’ and so on…

    3.You could also add some more descriptive words.

    4. Your biggest flaw is that you write like it’s happening at the same moment as the readers reading all the time. If you take closer look at writers in print you'll see the difference.

    Writers write in past-tense most of the time because a story's a story. It’s being told to someone by the author.

    Look at writers like Orson Scott Card and J.K. Rowling's works closely and learn when its right to write in Past or Present-tense.

    (1.)
    Example of Right Past tense:

    After he examined the footprints made by his foe he walked away without looking back into the darkened ally.

    Example of Wrong Past tense:

    Bobby opened his mouth and told them he couldn’t come to the show.

    "I cant come to the show guys. I'm busy." said Bobby.

    (2.)
    Example of Right Present tense:

    Bobby couldn’t believe what he was hearing at the moment. He was starting to consider to say something but Sally and Ben where starting to walk away.

    Example of Wrong Present tense:

    Bobby examined the footprints made by his foe, Bobby walks away without looking back into the darkening ally.

    (3.)
    Example on what you’re doing and how I would change it:

    You wrote:

    Yuugi screams again and Yami continues pulling in and out of Yuugi, encouraged by Yuugi's moans, pants, and small screams.

    I would change it to:

    Yugi screamed louder as Yami continued thrusting in and out of him, being encouraged by Yugi's pleading moans, harsh panting, and, small passion filled screams.



    I'm sorry that I'm not a teacher I haI hardly ever try to teach writing to other writers. I saw and read your fanfic and I said "Why not try and help this one for a change? I'll give them some tips to set them on the right path!"

    Please remember I'm just trying to help out and by all means I'm not perfect. I lack real talent like some other people that I know. I try my hardest and I study other peoples writing so much that I do it by reflex.

    Guess what I do all day and night? You guessed it! I read. I read so well that I can read the first Harry Potter book in three hours tops^^ When I was 11yrs old I could already read at a grad 12 level. Its all I'm good at^^;;;;;;;

    Anyway- you have the makings of a good writer and I wish you the best of luck. I hope you found a shred of helpfulness in my advice and that you put it to good use.

    Love
    ShyLemonLover
    (P.S. You can e-mail me)
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Rockie on February 07, 2003
    Awwwwwwww, how sweet! Nice and WAFFy aluffluffy and lemony and...all of that good stuff! Squee! ^_^
    Report Review

  • From ANON - aniron legolas on January 21, 2003
    I actually came to this site on accident. I'm glad I did. Great fic. Other fics would have Yugi be the "innocent" one and Yami would have to initiate everything. I liked this fic. Keep up the good work! ^_~
    Report Review

T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate

Click Here!