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Reviews for Heart of Seto Kaiba

By : YamisSetokoi
  • From ANON - red/green on November 05, 2004
    More Chapters More Chapters. Please add more.
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  • From ANON - Someone on November 05, 2004
    More chapters please I want to read what happens ueliuelist kingdom.
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  • From ANON - Unknown on November 05, 2004
    Add the other Chapter please
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  • From ANON - Zaffer on October 21, 2004
    Sweet!!!!!
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  • From Zaffer on October 19, 2004
    Wicked!!!
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  • From ANON - ZaffeØ on April 11, 0000
    I would like to see the chapters coz I love this story.
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  • From ANON - Gryph on September 18, 2004
    Urg.... Here's a HUGE tip for you, break up those huge blocks of text... It makes it VERY hard to read decently when there's a large block of text. Try making a new paragraph every 4 to 5 sentences to get rid of them.
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  • From ANON - Red Five on September 13, 2004
    From what I could tell, this story has potential, but I'll offer you some advice along with my thoughts.

    For starters, for this style of story, I wouldn't suggest using script format. Serious stories usually go with normal quotation format simply because it makes it easier to draw the reader in with descriptions of how the words were said and what actions accompanied them. If you ARE planning on using script format when the characters speak, PLEASE at least double-space between lines.

    Also, first-person is perfectly fine for choice of narrative, but it would probably be a lot more effective if you switched point of view once every CHAPTER, as opposed to random changes with breaks in the narrative for script-style typing.

    Paragraphs would be helpful in the narratives, so that the thoughts of the speaker aren't condensed into one big block of text, which is cumbersome to read, but instead organized more like a list of thoughts and topics, with a new paragraph for each new thought or topic.

    As for the content, your plotline seems good so far and I like the characterization you've chosen for each of the characters. Keep up the great work, and consider some of the changes suggested above. But hey, it's your story. hat hat you want.

    ~Red Five~
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  • From ANON - Goku sama on September 13, 2004
    It is sad how things happan to Seto. Yami is trying to help will he save Seto?
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