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Reviews for Lover of Shadows

By : mistryl
  • From ANON - Gothic_Kaiba on March 09, 2005
    Well, you asked in LJ on what we thought if you should go into hardcore or not. Well, I like it either way as long as its yaoi! ^o^ I don't care. I love where this is going. Please keep continuing!

    I have to work on my story. I can't believe how hard it's gotten. ;_;
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  • From ANON - AJ McKay on March 09, 2005
    Hello again!

    I was out of town over the weekend (drove up to Duluth and then drove the directly opposite way from my current residence over to Willmar-I believe I might be a bit suicidal at times to try stuff like that all in one weekend) and was not aware that chapter five had been added, much less chapter six.

    I love the angst in this story. I appreciate a plotless piece of smut or fuzzy wuzzy love tale as much as the next slasher, but sometimes I like things a bit shaken up (I've got kinks too, don't we all?). I like that Seto didn't try to speak in his last moments and that Jou didn't try to act all sympathetic towards a dying man that he clearly hated and had a very fucked up, unresolved past with. Instead of Seto drearily spouting some nonsense about how he's sorry (can't imagine Seto every 'saying' he's sorry) and how he really loved Jou, he used what little strength he possessed to kiss the other man (which I'm still wanting more details about the whole shady past with the two). Jou struggling until the very end with Seto-not responding too well to the whole last kiss-was right in character with plot and with how I'd imagine a canon Jou would act in that situation. The clicher of the whole scene was Jou getting out at the last minute with Seto's body. It's actually kind of cliche once I thought about it (I like to overanalyze things-it's my nature), but for some reason I expected Jou to leave the body there in the building. The whole sceine just seemed to fit together like one of those jigsaw puzzles I'm quite fond of.

    Anpu must have wanted to be tackled by Matao in the end scene due to the fact that Matao was seriously overweight and with that information it would seem that Matao wouldn't be able to due much successful pouncing at the moment. It's really that or you've left a plot hole I've exploited :). Though, at that point I think Anpu was horny enough from the shower to let the other boy have his 'dirty' way with him. The relationship between Anpu and Matao is almost like I would imagine one between Seto and Jou (my preferred Yu-Gi-Oh yaoi couple) if things had transpired differently-that's probably why I enjoy the story so much even with such prevalent OCs.

    I did see a few simple errors-I believe one of them was the word 'rule' that was suppose to be, I believe, 'real', but I could be remembering things wrong-correct me if I'm wrong!

    Yugi and Jou are quite a darling couple-after Seto and Jou they really are high on the list of my favorite (I don't really get into Yami/Hikari pairings-I read them quite often because of the large number available, but I have a hard time picturing it. Since the beginning I've seen it as sleeping with oneself and if there was a 'Yami' me I don't think we'd be screwing like bunnies behind the scenes. I might be cute, but I'm not creepy!).

    I'm in the process of moving again (third time in the last 18 months-Duluth here I come), so it might be a while until I'm able to read and review again. Just have fun and keep writing! I can't wait to see a new chapter.

    Until next time (if I have to go long period of time without Net connection again my Muses will never forgive me),
    AJ McKay
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  • From ANON - Gothic_Kaiba on February 22, 2005
    ;_; But...but...you can't leave Seto there! I'll tie him down to a large wagon, against his will, and then carry him out!!! >D That'll probably give him a heart attack and kill him faster. T_T At least it wouldn't have been by a bomb.

    Great chappy!! Sad, but great!! ^.^ Can't wait to read more!
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  • From ANON - AJ McKay on February 22, 2005
    Hello!

    Adult Fanfiction if full of half-arsed written stories that are suppose to be porn, but most of them are too unimaginative to come close. The writing, grammar, and spelling is usually horrible. I find the same thing at Fanfiction.net, except the ratings are lower. I'm being completely blunt here. Here's another blunt comment-your story stands out in a very, very good way. I'm a critical reader and I don't go gushing and raving after reading, but your story has me coming close.

    I can see how Jou, Yugi, and Seto have matured into the characters they've become. I can actually see them as themselves, instead of some horrible OOCness taking over. Seto's part in this last chapter literally ripped my heart out. Very fine writing. You've got the right amount of angst mixed with realism without making it some like some cheesy, make me laugh story plot.

    You've created a plot that a reader can sink their teeth in and really get carried away with. You're not kind to our heroes and even our nonheroes-you're telling it like it is, realism intact. I presume Anpu is a result of male pregnancy (please feel free to correct me if I'm making an incorrect judgement-I do not recall whether you've stating anything of the matter yet) and even that flows and feels real. Male pregnancy is usually something I quite like to read, but there's very few stories that aren't mostly laughable. Ignore these last few sentences if I have the facts a bit mixed up.

    You've got a few mistakes in grammar, spelling, and such, but nothing that most readers will see and nothing I'm overly concerned with-nothing that disrupted the flow of my reading. Very well polished.

    I'm quite impatient to find out where this story is heading and if Seto will meet his death now in the bombing or some other incident. Will we find out more about the 'rape' that Jou mentioned? I'm also wondering about the relationship that will build with Anpu and Matao. You've created OC's that I actually went to know and read about, that's a feat onto itself.

    I must stop now before I've got a essay length review for your perusal. I just wish you luck in writing and hope you keep doing so!

    Marvelous!
    AJ
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  • From ANON - koalared on February 19, 2005
    This is really good. I want to see where it goes. Keep writing.
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  • From ANON - Gothic_Kaiba on February 18, 2005
    Waaaaah! More updates!!! x_x' I shall die if I don't see more soon!

    This is fabulous, it reminds me of mine, but better. T.T Kind of jealous! XD
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