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Reviews for Apocalypse

By : Aten
  • From ANON - MarikIshtar77 on August 03, 2005
    PoV lemons, I love those kind! Great job! Poor Donny! *giggle* At least there was a table nearby...
    Awwww... damn... That last paragraph was just sad!! (The funnies between Malik/Marik and Bakura further up were absolutely the shit though! PrEttY in PiNk! *giggle*)
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  • From ANON - MarikIshtar77 on July 28, 2005
    Whoa, damn... Pharaoh! You are quite the actor, I must say!! *snicker* (We know you, can't fool us! Na-na! LOL!)
    Bakura: Ryou, you should pop a few Excedrin for that headache.
    Marik: Cool, guns, baseball bats and mushed brains. Love the gore, more gore please. Nice job describing.
    Bakura: Yeah, we liked that part. GORE RULES!
    Marik: Thanks for the plushies too.
    Bakura: Are these like my voodoo plushies? *tickles Joey plushie with a feather*

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  • From ANON - elusive_dreamer on July 17, 2005
    I'm back! At last, the much awaited sequel where in Aria and Aten finally confronts the Pharaoh! I think it's pretty safe to say that this particular sequel can be considered as the climax of your series (no pun intended) and I'm really looking forward to reading the final battle between the Itemri-Ishtar family and the Pharaoh that had began back from ancient times.
    From your first few chapters, I've noticed that you brought back Seto and Joey's characters, after not hearing from them since the last few chapters of Journey to Heaven, along with past villains in Vera and the "Anti-gay group" with the inclusion of Hayden. I would just like to ask on how large the roles of these villains will be on this particular story because it seems to me that they are a little out-of-place here since your summary, more or less, concentrates on the Millennium battle itself. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to impose on your ideas, but I think that it would be better if the focus would be shifted more on how the Pharaoh "paves the road" towards the family's destruction. Another thing, about the chapter when you first introduced the pharaoh in the form of a voice in Ryou's head, I would just like to comment on the way Yami stated his plans. I think it would be better if you didn't make Yami "say" what he thinks and the plans he's been concocting directly and all at once. Let us readers know very little of what he's been planning and use the element of surprise and unpredictability to your advantage; leave us hanging on to the edge of our seats, eager for the next chapters to arrive. I'm not in opposition to lemon scenes in chapters, but toning them down a bit would help to make way for chapters to gear towards the more important parts of the story. Add them in between major scenes or after certain conflicts are solved so that they may be seen as "breaks" or bonuses for both readers and the characters, not to mention they allow us readers to be more emotionally attached to the characters who would be involved in those scenes.
    You really have a very promising idea for a story, I hope that you would develop more the scenes and characters alike. Love scenes don't have to end up in fluffy moments or lemons either. Portray how your characters are feeling in more than words and add more the use of simple gestures and movements that imply and invoke strong emotions. Use the characters' surroundings to amplify those emotions as well. I know I'm being quite harsh on my comments but please don't be angry with me. It's just that I really love your series and I want to help in improving and developing them because to tell the truth, I'm really one very frustrated writer who can't transform ideas into actual stories (I really can't, I have a whole bunch of them in my head but it seems they don't want to be written :( ) So, there! I hope you won't take my comments personally and in the wrong way. By the way, I've read about that one flame about your stories and I just would like to say that I disagree with whoever that was. I personally think that this is one of the most original stories I have read and will continuously read. I mean who else would write on the Bakura and Ryou's life back from Ancient Egypt, up to 30-40 years after they've been reincarnated in modern times? Not to mention throwing in some interesting OC's as well as Ryou having kids with not only Bakura but Marik as well! I think that's all I've got to say for now, see you next chappie! ^_^

    Note:
    I was just wondering, are you serious when you said that you're planning a lemon between Marik, Miranda, and Daniel? Not to be imposing but, I hope you won't go through with it...the idea kinda makes me feel...I don't know, uncomfortable? Uncomfortable,in a sense that I just don't see the three in bed having you know what, ugh...(shudders). A-anyway, please don't go through with it, pretty please?
    Another thing, will the pharaoh be their final enemy? Last time I asked, you said that you might add Bakura's Ka beast to your story in their battle against Aten. So, I'm guessing that Aten will indeed die any time after this sequel; Marik will resurrect him, and in the process invoke an evil creature that would cause more problems for the family.
    Lastly, I was also wondering on what would cause Ryou's death since, there was one character on one of your past stories that said, Ryou will die of a cause other than the creature Marik will invoke, will it be his weak heart? I'm not really sure about the details, but I think adding a few details on Ryou's condition would help in your current story in further stacking the odds against the family. I don't know if you would consider this idea or not but please comment on what you think about this. Furthermore, I hope you would plan many "diabolical" strategies for the pharaoh to torture and cause problems to our lovable family (I really love chaotic plotlines with sadistic and reaaally evil and strategic villains, they really add to the drama!)


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  • From ANON - MarikIshtar77 on July 16, 2005
    *blink* That was just... utterly amazing. Holy hell that was sexy! AWESOME ASSKICKING LEMONS!! Great job!!!
    Marik: Ass..whating??
    Bakura: O.o... I enjoyed the way Marik intimidated the piss out of that rag-bag VERA. She's such a bitch. I would not be sad if she spontaniously combusted.
    Keep it coming! (hey, I didn't mean for that to sound hentai, really I didn't... *snicker*)
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  • From MarikIshtar77 on July 13, 2005
    It's a hundred degrees outside, and the thermometer just exploded here in the house. Holy shit, that evil cliffie was hotter than hell! Great job 'faking' it boys! *snicker*
    Feeling bad for Aten, knowing he is going to die and all. Like the old saying goes though, "Only the good die young." (That must be why I've beaten the odds so damn many times. *evil grin* LOL!)
    Glad my suggestion worked for you!
    *squishies and plushies*
    ~77
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  • From ANON - UketoSetosSeme on July 12, 2005
    I don't know how you can start out a chapter all sad-ish then make it so hot in the end, but I am jealous of it. I can't believe Aten is already preparing for his death. He shouldn't be so negative. *gives him Egypt-related plushies to cheer him up* I can't waot for the hot lemony-ness in the next chappy. I am going to be looking forward to it so much! ^.^ *luff*
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  • From ANON - MarikIshtar77 on July 07, 2005
    AHHH! My head is hurting!!
    *grabs the knife on the desk and starts randomly stabbing things*
    Fucking Crusaders...man...nasty, narrow-minded, misguided FUCKS!! They really piss me off! They're fucking insane! IN-FUCKING-SANE!!! GAH!!!!!!!!
    Okay...'nuff of that now. *sets the knife down* Moving right along now...

    "Bakura crossed his arms against his chest and disappeared."
    ~*snicker* "I Dream of Bakura," season premier???

    “No, I didn’t! You just want an excuse to grab my ass again!”
    ~ *insert insane laughter HERE* ~


    Pharaoh, I suggest you become a stripper. THE MOST POWERFUL STRIPPER EVER KNOWN TO MAN!! BWA-HAHAHA!!

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  • From ANON - MarikIshtar77 on July 03, 2005
    Vera's such a perv! Gods, how rude of her listening in on Aten and Robbie! She must have actually liked it, otherwise she would have turned on some music or something. Hell, she could have fucking left too! What a nasty old battle axe...
    Kick her out, Miranda!
    Oh...yes... by the way...
    I'm on my to strip search Dice-boy... *snicker*

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  • From ANON - Kathryn Coll on July 02, 2005
    *snort* lock Vera in a room with Hayden. 'S all I gotta say.

    “Daniel, don’t be such a drama queen!"
    Pot. Kettle. Black.

    "Besides, you know as well as anyone that once you fall off the horse, you have to jump right back on.”
    She's never bred, has she?

    “Daniel, I can’t turn her away.”
    *snort* yes you can. It's called not letting the door hit her on the way out. It's really very easy.

    With a grunt, he pushed the bed against the wall where Aten and Robbie’s bed was placed in the other room.
    nice move!

    “I love poking you with this thing.”
    Wow, it's like Marik and his rod.

    The depravity!
    *laughs* Yay for depravity.


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  • From ANON - Iluvkenshin on June 29, 2005
    Hyden(if misspelled) is out. Anuza is still crazy and annoying. Marik watching Bakura's ass.
    And Robbie is still worried about Aten. Just another chapter of Bakura's Girl's cooked up mind.
    So we are left off with Hyden's revenge on Seto; another family member of Robbie's will move
    into Robbie & Aten's lives. Aria, Umi & son are enjoying life.

    As a reader of Bakura'sgirl, I love every twist and turn what Bakura's girl comes up with.
    I have a question for the author.
    Are you going to have more lemons of Seto/Jou(especially), Marik/Bakura, Aten/Robbie and Malik/Ryou?
    I noticed that Hyden still calls Jou daddy. I believe he still cares for Jou as a father. Even though
    Jou failed to protect him. Will Hyden hurt Jou badly...who cares I know from you last posted you
    are going to do some damage on Jou (I think that you have been playing with Marik plush toy...
    have you?) I guess there going to be some angus and very bad things going to happen to
    my favorite characters Aten, Aria, Jou and Robbie. Another question, are you going to pair
    up Robbie's mom and daddy to Marik? I love to read a threesome with those three.
    Can't wait this weekend for chapter three.

    Lots of Love
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  • From ANON - Kathryn Coll on June 29, 2005
    “Oh, come on, Hikari Ishtar, you’re bent over working in that garden? How could I NOT take advantage of the opportunity?”
    “What?! I didn’t do anything! Besides, you’re bent in half! How can I NOT take advantage of the opportunity to grope you?”
    *snickers* that'll teach him to sit while working in the garden

    ‘Adventures in Friendship’ was printed on the cover.
    That title bodes evil....

    Marik sighed. “I think I’m gonna be sick.”
    I'd need lots of booze....

    Marik snickered. “I could tell him there’s a one-eyed monster in there, but that may be worse than the whole ‘Trouser Snake’ thing.”
    *laughs and starts singing the "monster" song*

    Sheesh, Mokuba still hasn't married that girl? Dude, what is wrong with him?!

    Lordy, Joey needs a clue about Hayden and Hayden... well you know. He never was one of my favorite characters.

    Cool, no more high school bs for them!

    “Well…well….well….Dice-Boy! I owe you money, Ishtar. Otogi does have a vagina.”
    LOL

    “Do you ever stop thinking about Bakura’s ass?” Tristan asked.
    “Do you ever stop thinking about coffee?”
    Tristan shrugged. “No.”
    “Then there we go, Caffeine-Boy,” Marik responded.
    *laughs*

    “BUT I WANT MARIK BABIES!!!”
    The blond yami snarled and jumped to his feet. “I wouldn’t stick anything of mine into you even if you were the last person on earth!”
    Anzu smiled blankly. “Bakura-baby!!! I WANT BAKURA BABIES!”
    Bakura shielded his crotch and backed away. “Not in your wildest dreams!”
    *falls over howling* eewwwwww

    *wipes tears from eyes and continues to laugh* weinies....

    “I didn’t think it was possible, Ishtar….but…I think that killed my sex drive for the next….ten thousand years.”
    *nods*

    “Well, I never!”
    *snort* liar.


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  • From ANON - UkeToSetosSeme on June 28, 2005
    *hugs the many plushies* Thanks for the plushies, and I will try my best in college. *rubs my forehead* Could Anzu get anymore annoying? *shoots her and she comes back to life* Anyway, I can't wait to see all the fun plotness you work out in this story. *gives you plushies* That's for keeping me entertained for so long. ^.^
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  • From ANON - MarikIshtar77 on June 28, 2005
    OH .MY .GODS...
    Anzu is evil. That evil evil evil creature must learn to keep her weiners in her mouth. Er...that came out wrong...
    Anyway... Poor Miranda! The nasty lady is on her way!
    Nice comebacks Marik and Bakura! LOLOLOLOL!

    *goes off in search of Otogi's elusive hoo-ha*

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  • From ANON - UkeToSetosSe,e on June 24, 2005
    Wow...It's been awhile since I reviewed. Anyway, great start to the new story. I am just as hooked at ever. *cuddles Kai* He is so adorable. I can't wait to see how things turn out. Oh, as for why I haven't reviewed, I was busy with school. I from high school this comming Wednesday, June 29th. I will be free and I will start college at the end of August. Anyway, I can't wait for the next update.
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  • From ANON - MarikIshtar77 on June 24, 2005
    SWEET! I like how this is starting. Lots of groping, lots of yami torture, and an evil cliffie! Awesome! I look forward to the coming chapters.
    Atum: SNAKEY! I WANT TO SEE THE SNAKEY!
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