Adult-FanFiction.org : Yu-Gi-OH

Reviews for I..I l-l-like you!

By : cugal

From ANON - Shadow2007 on January 02, 2006
Don't give up! I like the story plot alot, your spelling just needs a little work is all. You do NO suck, just get a beta. elle was just pointing out that you should get a beta(maybe she would do it if you asked). Dont let this discourage you, pick up and move on! Oh, and for the sake of my sanity, please right the next chapter and have it beta'd. ^-^
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From ANON - SunshinePie on December 29, 2005
LOL...i really lIKE this story
and the spelling errors didn't bother me one bit ^_^ hehe...i didn't even notice them. i love how everyone makes a big deal of spelling errros and grammar this is a FANFICTION people! not a real novel that is going for the nobel prize. so don't take whiney people who comment on spelling errors and grammar to serious even though editing is a good thing too and improving your skills.

but yes...please continue...you do not suck!!! to me this wasn't a "sucky" fic.
a bad story is like

"jou went to kaiba land one day and told kaiba he loved him. kaiba shot him down so jou went to the nearest cliff and jumped off but as jou lept kaiba came out of no where and grabbed him. i always love you kaiba said i am sorry it took me so long to tell you. then they lived happily ever ...the END"

LOL...serious i have seen people who write like that and don't know what ... "these are" and just write like
i love said kaiba...thats the only thing that bothers me when people don't put quotation marks

but YES

this is a very nice story...please continue the only thing i have to say for you to change is MAKE THE CHAPTERS LONGER AND UPDATE SOON PLEASE ^_^
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From ANON - Millie Ishtar Motou on December 29, 2005
heres the thing: you DO NOT SUCK please add another chapter we would really appericiate it thanks!
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From ANON - Luna on December 28, 2005
Oh, you can't give up ne? Look at all the hits you have. I have just read this and I see nothing wrong with it. I want to read more honestly. Sure people are too busy or at the very worst too lazy to write a review...what matters is that they read it ne? Please continue...I'm very interested in what you have to write next...
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From ANON - Jinx on December 28, 2005
I think it was really good. I would love to know what Joey is going to do next.
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From Reyn on December 28, 2005
Hmm...well, I read your reviews and I must say that unless you deleted the bad ones, I couldn't find anything wrong with them. The criticisms were laid down gently and offered support at the same time...and some people didn't even criticize to begin with.

That said, I must comment on your little note about being too lazy and depressed to go back and fix your mistakes.

Writing a story is easy. Writing a good story that will have people nodding their heads in approval and asking for more takes work. Lots and lots of hard work. To simply write something and post it without really going back and looking over it to fix any mistakes shows that you don't have the drive and dedication it takes to be great, and the readers can sense that.

When I write a story, if I don't go back with my beta and edit it at least 3 times over, then I won't even post it simply because I feel as if I haven't put enough work into it.

It's really obvious that you're enthusiastic about this story idea. And I think that's great! Don't ever lose that drive because of a few bad reviews, because I can promise you that there will always be at least two readers who love your story to death. If anything, jest keep writing for those two readers. If you continue to get bad reviews, look on the bright side. At least your fic intrigued them enough to keep reading it long enough to leave a review in the first place.

What I recommend is taking the time to slow down a bit so that when you're typing, the story falls into place more like a story should, rather than it flowing out like thoughts in your head. I'll admit, when I first started writing, I hated paragraphs because I never knew where to stop one and start another. But when you slow down and think things out, it becomes easier to break things up so they read easier. You should also get a beta and have them edit your fics before you post them, and after they proofread your fic and you edit it, send it back for a second reading to make sure no new mistakes are made and nothing has been overlooked. In other words, don't post without the beta's approval (words I live by, really. I'm always nervous some small mistakes has been overlooked or something). Once your beta gives you the go ahead, THEN go ahead and post away.

Trust me when I say this, but depsite all the hard work, it really is worth it in the end to go back and look at your story with next to no mistakes. Because after a while, the editing will become like a second nature to you and you'll start to improve by leaps and bounds. So seriously, keep it up. Put some major elbow grease in it and make us all proud ^_^
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From ANON - Anon on December 28, 2005
Awww...and hear I wanted to see what happened next. After all, the way to improve is to practice, so you shouldn't give up.
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From ANON - Elle-dono on December 28, 2005
Finding a Beta shouldn't be too hard, finding one that's compatible with the couplings is another thing altogether.

Don't give up on the story, it has a great plot and even though the spelling and grammar are things that could be worked on, it's nothing that a Beta or a good spell-check can't fix. If you go to the Yu-Gi-Oh part (not the Yaoi part that we're in now) there's a link that says 'Betas', just post something there saying that you're looking for a Beta for your Jou/Seto fic. Betas far and wide should flock and then you'll be faced with the choice of which to pick .:sweatdrop:.

But always make sure that when you get your Beta (to feed it, love it and call it George XD) that whatever you save your work in is compatible. So say that your Beta has Microsoft Word and you have, I dunno, say, Notepad or something, to save in Rich Text Format so that your Beta can read it (otherwise it comes up with a bunch of symbols. Not fun trying to decipher it).

I'll go read your other works, but seriously, I've read fics worse than this with over one hundred good reviews so you shouldn't give up. I'm gifting you with a virtual Flame-Thrower so any flames you recieve can go towards burning something or making s'mores.

-Elle
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From ANON - lady gray on December 27, 2005
I like your story so far, i agree that your spelling and grammer is a bit weak, but I think getting a good beta would fix that, its the plot that is important, don't get discouaged....
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From ANON - dark on December 27, 2005
hay don't worry too much if people don't review I have a story that only one person has reviewed on for every chapter. But this is a good story so far and I'm curious to see what happens next also keep in mind it is the Holiday season and people are busy so just give it time.
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From ANON - maxwell16 on December 27, 2005
*big hug* keep going this fanfic is good and i want to see how it ends, so keep going plz
i know how u feel about having no reviews but keep going *even bigger hug*
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From ANON - mofaf1 on December 27, 2005
love the plot of this fic. I really want to see if Jou and Seto actually hook up. The grammer and spelling are things that can be worked on (I keep a dictionary and thesarus next to the computer for help with the spelling). Hopefully you will continue this story soon.

mofaf1
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From ANON - Archai on December 27, 2005
Please continue! I would love to see your next chapter. You're spelling and grammar may be bad but I still like the plot.
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From ANON - Elle-dono on December 27, 2005
Ok, I normally don't do this and it feels morally wrong, but...

This...is crap.

I would like to inform you that at the current time of which I wrote that three-word sentence I winced. I don't like degrading others' or their works; but dear, this needs to go in the "Re-Vamp" lot. A few weeks or months from now, you may look back on this and be proud, or you may think as I am and wonder "Where the Hell did my writing skills wander off to?"

I have never read any of your other works, and so I will refrain from commenting on your overall lack of grammar and assume, for the sake of my mind, that you have temporarily mis-placed any sense that would direct you to a Beta.

It has a nice plot-ish-ness overall (I don't even think "plot-ish-ness" is a word, but Hell, who cares?) but the spelling and grammar make me twitch and want to edit so badly I had to pull up a piece of writing I did in my second year of Primary School to satisfy my urge.

I have no doubt that you have a great story-writing mind, but without the proper writing requirments, it makes reading this piece of work a chore rather than doing so for enjoyment.

Hopefully I have not offended you in any way throughout the course of this Critisim, and if I have I assure you that it was not my intention, though I highly doubt that if by some chance I have indeed insulted you my apologies would mean nothing more than say, a toenail clipping to an empty soda can.

-Elle

(P.S- I am expecting you to be aware of the proper spelling and grammar requirements, and will abstain from listing such things. However, I will bring to your attention the more noticeable "errors", so to speak.
-After a full stop a capital letter ALWAYS follows. This includes marks with a full-stop in them (mainly exclaimation marks (!) and question marks (?))
-Next point is a tad harder to explain, so I'm afraid I'll have to borrow the first paragraph of your story to show you what I mean:
------�Yugi I don�t think I can do it!� a blond boy with big honey brown eyes whispered to a short boy with crazy hair and purple eyes the boy whispered back �come on Jou I believe in you!� both were ducked behind a stand at Spencer�s* spying on a tall brown haired teen his back was to them. �Just go do it Jou!� Yugi practically yelled at his friend �but I�but I.� Yugi just gave him a scary �fine� fine I m going.� (Man Yugi can be a persistent little brat must be getting that from Yami.) Jou thought to himself. ------

Should be:
--- �Yugi, I don�t think I can do it!� A blond boy with big honey brown eyes whispered to a short boy with crazy hair and purple eyes.
�Come on Jou, I believe in you!� The other boy whispered back. Both teens were ducked behind a stand at Spencer�s* spying on a tall brown haired male who had his back to them.
�Just go do it!� Yugi practically yelled after soaking in his friends' hesitance.
�But I�but I-� Yugi just gave him a scary look.
�-fine� fine I'm going.� 'Man Yugi can be a persistent little brat; must be getting that from Yami.' Jou thought to himself. ---

First thing we see is the capital letter and full stop, next is the way the speaking is starting a new line, third is the way some sentences have been re-arranged to sound better and last are the thoughts.

I think that last bit covered everything x.x

Oh! One last tiny, itsy bitsy matter...Don't overuse the word "Ya". From memory alone I can recall you using it at least four times in the same author's note. Three were in the same sentence.)
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