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Reviews for Two Sides of One Soul

By : Naye025
  • From ANON - ivorycoral on January 02, 2006
    Not bad for a first chapter. I like how this is all from Anzu's POV. And though this will sound odd, I also like how there are breaks in periods of time, like going from one palce to a year later. That usually doesn't work, but for this, it works pretty well, so nice job! My only real criticxm is that (And remember this is just my personal opinion and YOU are the author of this fic meaning only yolu have any right to change anything in it) There isn't a whole lot of vivid, concrete detail. My suggestion is this: When you are writing the next chapter, visualize the actions etc. and see what you can apply to them. Use the five senses. Like if you're saying "He tasts so sweet." step back and ask yourself What kind of sweet? Sugar, chocolate, whipped cream fruit or whatever. Personally, I find this helps me with my own writng. Keep it up, you're doing great so far!
    Best of luck go with you, and all the Muses.
    ivorycoral
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