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Reviews for He Among Us Without Sin

By : hatochiisai
  • From ANON - Kiki on September 03, 2009
    OMG!
    I absolutly LOVE your story! It's amazing. I come everyday to af.net only to see if you've updated this story! It's brilliant! This chapter was good but I wanted morre angsty things between Ahmose and Seto! X)
    Please update very-very soon!
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  • From kuraireikan on August 31, 2009
    I'm still here, waiting ... patiently? Sort of, hehe.
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  • From MishikoShinsei on May 31, 2009
    I'm begging you...

    PLEASE leave Yami and Ahmose alone. PLEASE? Pretty please? Sugar on top?

    And kill Seto if you would. KTHNX

    'Ko

    P.S. You know it's bad when you have an avowed Seto fangirl asking you to kill him...
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  • From YamiKuro on May 31, 2009
    I LOVED IT!!!!!! Im glad Mikado forgave Bakura ^_^

    Love,
    Kuro
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  • From kuraireikan on May 30, 2009
    I'm very glad that this fic is so far from finished. I was worried that you would rush the ending, but I'm happy to see that you're spending as much time with the details through this section as you did the last. Thanks for that, because I'd hate to have spent 2 1/2 days reading this fic just to be disappointed or to have it die out without being completed.

    Granted, it is a bit overly fluffy for my taste (which *really* surprised me when I read your profile and noticed your age) but it is original, interesting, consistant in it's degree of detail and the time and effort being put into it (it hasn't fizzled out and gotten silly toward the end). I'm quite impressed and am looking forward to the updates. A couple questions though:

    1. What was the point of giving Marik the book of Wicca if he and Ryou aren't going to ever use it?
    2. Whose idea was it to make Mikado stand in as the dressmaking dummy? Because he was a good, strong (though impetuous), male character up to that point; now he's just a whiny little girlie-man (screaming like a girl? hands up covering his mouth when shocked? the breakdown on the ship?).
    3. Isn't Ryou going a bit over the top (ooc) with this whole refusal to discuss his heritage/being hateful thing?
    4. Any particular reason why Yami just didn't go to his Mom and tell her what was up? He could easily have come back with an army *for Seto* then had Mom pop in and kick his ass while the army handled his followers.
    5. I can see Itemri getting pissed off about Bakura hanging out with a little bitch, but what brought him into this realm to begin with? Why would someone of his age and power give a rat's ass about the Vatican in another realm? That kind of request, even coming from the *childish and inexperienced* prince of his current realm, would be beneath someone like Itemri. And, he didn't find out about Bakura's involvement (Itemri's only legitimate reason for caring) until after he arrived.
    6. Are we ever going to find out what this thing is that Seto's wearing, where it came from, how he ended up with it? and finally,
    7. Where the hell is Jounouchi?

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  • From ANON - RainyDay on May 29, 2009
    I was so excited that the new chapter finally came out! the story is really great, and so exciting!
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  • From kuraireikan on May 29, 2009
    Well, I finally got to the part where the gang is getting together to go on their big mission (the one mentioned in the summary), and I'm *ONLY* 2/3 of the way through the fic (chapter 21). Imagine that.

    You write pretty well; your grammar and spelling are okay (mostly) and you are awesome when it comes to details, even your sense of humor is refreshing. But, almost half of what I've read so far is pure (and unnecessary) fluff. You could have cut this down to about 20 chapters and had a really tight, well rounded, suspense/drama/romance fic that would have kept everyone right on the edges of their seats.

    Unfortunately, it has been my experience in the past, that long fics (even those that get to the heart of the issue right out of the gate) tend to wander off of their intended paths through the course of the writing process. And here, we have a fic that doesn't even get to the point until it's more than half done. I do hope you haven't gotten bored and rushed this to an early and unsatisfying conclusion.
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  • From kuraireikan on May 28, 2009
    Last chapter everyone was smirking; this chapter, blinking seems to be the order of the day, and the last several chapters have been nothing but fluff.

    You're 10 chapters into this thing and Seto has only been mentioned twice. Even that was nothing more than an appeasement; a way of easing the minds of the readers who might be wondering when he would be making an appearance. I say this because (unless the travelers are going to be attacked by him before they get to the Vatican) there was no need to mention him at all. Mikado could just as easily been sent out to find Ryou, then been given the assignment to find info on Seto as a seperate mission upon his return.

    You started out with a very promising and interesting storyline, a strange little party of misfits going off on a dangerous mission. Are you planning to get back to it anytime soon? I certainly hope so. If I wanted to waste my time on 31 chapters of pure fluff, I'd have gone to ff.net.


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  • From winglessangel on May 28, 2009
    Two words: Update, update, update (Okay i lie three words. But hte fic is so good and soo well written leaving to die would be like stabbign a vamp with a silver lined asben cross, drenched in holy water out in teh hot sun. Get the picture please keep up hte great work.
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  • From ANON - lucy luce on May 11, 2009
    Are you going to update? It usually doesn't take you this long and you left it at a major cliffe that is killing me to find out what happens. Poor Mikado and Bakura they just there relationship and now all of a sudden its torn apart in the worst way possible. Arg. Please update I'm dying to read more.
    ~Luce

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  • From ANON - Hola on March 14, 2009
    What will happen to poor Mikado?! Great, great story! Love it. Please update soon! *gives cyber cookies as bribe* =P
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  • From ANON - anon on February 07, 2009
    Oh pleasepleaseplease update! We love you!!
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  • From YamiKuro on January 18, 2009
    have i ever mentioned i love you? Really? Only you can write the angst to my heart XD

    I love it.

    Kuro
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  • From Roxas13 on January 08, 2009
    Surely Bakura and Itemri must be up to something to stop Seto.. surely... Anouther awsome chapter. Thanks!!!
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  • From ANON - Manda on January 06, 2009
    AHH!! That's the most horrible cliff-hanger ever!!!!!!!! I cried! Actual tears! And I don't even know if Mikado will live! Please make everything better! More fluff, less angst. Great chapter, heart-wrenching and extremely suspenseful at the end, but great!
    I love your story and I can't wait til next chapter!
    Love,
    Manda
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