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Reviews for The Offer

By : undercoverme
  • From Sammei on April 02, 2007
    I'm so sorry I gave you the wrong impression at first, I didn't mean it! :hugs: But no, I am LOVING this story. I hadn't ever read any of the original manga, and the only thing I've been exposed to of the anime is just the stuff they've aired on TV, so.. I guess they did a great job on phasing out the lethal part of his personality. XD I applaud Seto for being as strong as he is with "Joey" right now, because I don't think I could stand it. Heh. But I suppose that's why he's the big bad CEO and I'm just a college kid. ^_^; Much love for this story, I can't wait for the next update!

    (Also, I accidentally read one of the other shout outs to someone else, and that's horrible of people to do that to your sister! I had no idea that was the situation, because I will absolutely go back and rate Sapphire Queen again. I rated it once when I first started reading it - I don't usually rate them after each chapter. She's one of the main reasons I got into Yugioh fanfic.)
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  • From Yamisphinx on April 02, 2007
    I'm also a member of Dragons Liar and searched for your story. I was so sad, I couldn't find it. ;_;
    I love this story and can't wait to see Seto start the real ass kick'n. Please update soon!
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  • From on April 02, 2007
    ahhhhhh.god that was wondeful....this chapter was so nice and it kills me when they kissed...now you see youre a born writer....god Ican't wait to read the rest update as fast as you can .... you really good like youre sister....tell her I'm sorry I never updated for none of her story I just read them but now if she only update I promise I won't be an ass !!!
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  • From catti on April 02, 2007
    Really? Maggiemay-sama's sister? Truly awesome...*bows low to great ones*...I love this story...cannot really picture Jou with short hair, though, thats a hard one...loved the whole idiot language talk...Seto is too funny...cannot wait to see him kick Joey the first' ass...catti
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  • From setoaddict on April 02, 2007
    Holy hell! Go Seto! Gut that mother fucker!
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  • From on April 02, 2007
    well I just wanted to tell you you write just fine...It remindes me of youre beta's style of writing Rroselavy I remember one of his story (if it takes me forever I will find you)...(something like that!!)but youre fic has less passion in it....that's the only low point I see .we readers have to picture every thing we read and youre good with the details...like in this chapter you shoew seto's sharpness and intelligence that's when I think this is what seto whould do,set up a plan to figure out the truth.but you don't show his emotions clearly.thats a link you know.to join every part of story in every chapter. when we know peopl's feeling we know why they do things...use methods like mind talking or dreams or something....like what you did in the last paragraph of chapter 1. you can use youre own words for showing romance...but don't overdo it...me myself I never write a story I just read too much...but trust me I've read enough to know youre work is great...it just has to get to it's balance....don't rush some parts and then slow down on some other parts...like the way you wrote about jou loesing his memories and all...you freed most of the story with seto's discoveries witch you could kept them as secrets and let him find a little bit of truth in every chapter slowly....with adding a little exitment to youre story (specially in youre last paragraph of every chapter)you can turn youre story from truly beautiful to completly perfect...what I really like bout youre writing is mostly youre choice of wocablary and the lenth of every chapter...and ofcourse you've done a graet job in creating an original story using charachters with theire own identity and personality(specially in seto's case) what he does in this fiction is exactly what real seto whould do I like youre seto very much...romance is not his thing but you can show what he hides from the world inside of himself that shoes his pride and self control......his inner voice and his love for jou....keep this up and you'll end up making people thinking ...and that's what a fanfic is about....I personally want to use my mind and try to findout what I think not what the writer thinks......and that's when the writer does the bettr job than my thouths in the next chapter... that's when it shows the writer is a good one......and you have written the secend chapter better than my thoughs.....i usually just want to read because I have a boaring life..I don't like to give people advises but I thought you could use some of this .......what ever you do just update soon....i want to know where this fic is going.and I want to know how much you go better than my thouths in the next chapter....love kisa

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  • From KrystalChronicals on April 02, 2007
    Can wait for more ^^
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  • From Earendel on April 01, 2007
    Lounouchi is his family name.

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  • From Sammei on April 01, 2007
    This is so sad! It's a horrible concept (the brainwashing, I mean), and I'm so upset that Jou had to go through all that, and all the pain Seto and everyone went through, wondering where he was.. when I think about how they had to break Jou.. :shudder: I'm really glad Seto got his ass into gear to try and do something about it. Though, I never pictured him being that violent (or at least, the torture bit) in his revenge. Very deliberate, yes, and the person would wish they never crossed him, but still. Wow. The second chapter was something else. Nicely done, but damn. O_o Disturbing as all hell. I guess it's probably because Seto, like you said, had never experience this PARTICULAR level of anger, so his actions this time are.. understandable? ^_^; Anyway, great job, and looking forward to the next update!
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  • From JessicaM on April 01, 2007
    Oh dear...this is new...*smirks* I'm seeing this story as dubbed vs. subbed lol. American hick vs. actual cool character.

    wow. Keep up the good work!
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  • From rclay on April 01, 2007
    i am glad that seto made robert white pay for what he did, i hope that he can get joey back and if he can't i hope he takes a part wheeler enterprizes and mr white piece by painful piece.
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  • From catti on April 01, 2007
    OMFG!!! Kami love it when Seto gets all evil....AWESOME!!!...no one messes with "The Man" or his toys...laughs...that would be jou...love the story...wish I could have cound it on little dragon but your name is not on the author list...are you under another? catti
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  • From KitsuneSeven on April 01, 2007
    Now I'm worried!!! They said Jo lost all his personal memories in the plane crash, does that mean if Seto DID work up the guts to go see him, Jo wouldn't remember him?!?!?! I hope so! I know, that sounds weird... But it would make him remembering Seto oh so sweet! ^^;;
    VERY anxiously awaiting the next chapter!!!
    ~KS
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  • From setoaddict on April 01, 2007
    I really like this! Very interesting, I'm dying to see what really happened to Jou. Poor Seto, I feel soo sad for him! Please update soon, I'd love to read more.
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  • From Anon on April 01, 2007
    omgsh this is uber interesting! ^_^ update please
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