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Reviews for Come Sweet DeathBy : crimson89 |
- From BishojoShadow on September 05, 2007
While your story had a good start, it felt like you were rushing through everything after the first paragraph. You even skipped the surgery scene, and why would Yami need surgery anyway? He cut his wrists he might need stitches and a blood transfusion but not surgery. Also I was curious on why he had so much energy, if he cut them so deeply as you said he would not be able to fight the nurses and such, he would have been to weak to do so. Like I said it was good the first paragraph but then it became too frantic and ultimately unbelievable and you kept contradicting yourself. Please don't take this as a flame this is constructive criticism maybe it will help you out in the next chapter.
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