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Reviews for Shadow Yami {Completed}

By : JAT
  • From redconvoy on October 21, 2008
    I like your story; however, your sentences are run on sentences. You need to learn where to put periods. Dialogue should be always separate from action.

    Example:

    Yugi scratched the top of Yami's head making him purr in delite. The Egyptian Neko's tail swayed back and forth quickly in joy.

    "I see someone is enjoying himself." Yugi said smiling at the neko.

    That is how it should be like. I can't wait to read the next part though.
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  • From puzzlefreak213 on October 10, 2008
    Awesome Spikey! Really awesome story. Shadow Yami is the best. I want to read more. -pouting- by the way its me Hikari hehe
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  • From KiraSahari on October 09, 2008
    Love the story! Yami is a lovely cat, last time I ask who was going to protect Yugi from Yami? but after the las chapter I think it is going to be the opposite,Who is going to protect our neko from Yugi??? ha ha ha I can even imagine Yami purring from pleasure! thank you so much for sharing and the quick updates!
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  • From KiraSahari on October 08, 2008
    Thank You!!! I was so happy that I was able to help you :)
    Great story! This one is getting better and better, I would loveeeeeeeee to have a bodyguard like Yami as a neko mmmmmmmm :P if he is going to take care of Yugi, who is going to protect Yugi from Yami? ha ha ha I would love to know if the tail and ears of our neko are sensitive, hope is not mating season for Yami or Yugi is going to have a very horny neko after him ha ha ha, let me see what kind of things my cats do? scratch furniture, they purr, love tuna, love meat, love to take naps, love to be pamper, love to hunt birds and mice, very curious, possesive, jealous mmmmmmmmmmm how many characteristics from cats does Yami has? I love cats thats why I am asking, it would be funny to read how well or bad is going to behave our beloved neko! I would love to read some more so please continue writing! Thanks for sharing!
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  • From KiraSahari on October 06, 2008
    This story is very interesting and is catching my interest! What call my attention is that Yugi or the other guys were not really surprised about Yami's appereance, so I don't know if in your alternative universe is going to be common the existence of nekos (like in loveless) or other kind of animal. You said you are open to ideas so maybe this questions give you ideas for the next chapters. who is Yami?, just a spirit?, a magical creature?, a prince or a slave who escape from prison?, is he from another dimension (like the shadow realm)?, is he a halfbreed from a human and other creature? Does he need or is he searching for a mate? He can look like a big black cat, can he look completely human? Why Japan if He sounds egiptian? if they look similar, are they realted in any way? Is He fertile? family? Age? Is someone looking for him (so we can have more couples)?, Is he from ancient times and something awake him? How much does he know about humans?, Why is he helping humans, just a good samaritan? Sorry any mistakes here, english is not my native language, I just gave you a bunch of questions instead of suggesting something directly so maybe it could help you, hope so! Thanks for sharing!
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  • From trystkinkou on October 05, 2008
    This sounds very interesting. I can't wait to see how it develops.
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  • From Shuman on October 05, 2008
    Interesting. I hope to hear more!
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