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Reviews for Sins of the Father -Done!-

By : ShadowofLight
  • From ANON - chibi_night_pirate on October 15, 2005
    ok one once I finish I had my eyes open the hole time beinning to finish once I blink it look like I was crying. iIcouldn't blink, it was just how do you say aswome wait no the best. Better then my friends fic, but don't tell her that. Her's are good, but I thought a story wouldn't make me blink form the beinning to the end. My mom thought I was dead. They even spread me with the ice cold cat water, but still no respone from me. Not even my friend stories did that, but I really like your yugi story it was awsome.Well way am going to see if you have any fic, I bet there as good as this one.
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  • From ANON - Naye on November 13, 2003
    This is a wonderful story. I love it! Even though some of the chapters are a little long, I've enjoyed reading each and everyone so far. (I'm on 7) I can't wait to see how it ends, I have a feeling it's going to be marvelous!

    Ja!
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  • From ANON - Sashii on September 04, 2003
    Okay, honestly, I adored this fic. Well written, well thought out, a positively brilliant darkfic. It wasn't just cheap angst. However, I feel the latest chapter falls short.

    First off, the writing style changed, particularly at the beginning. If you didn't want to write out all of Yuugi's feelings and reaction to how he was treated, you should've done it in more of a narrative way, I think, to match the rest of the story (ie; Yami/Jou/ whoever's observations on Yuugi or something of the sort) rather than just skim it over.

    Secondly, the OC. She just fell short of Mary Sue-dom, so you can congratulate yourself on that, but still. Seemed more like a plot device than a person.

    Lastly, Yami and Yuugi Yes, I agree with Yuugi wanting to make new memories of that sort, but I doubt it would happen so quickly - even if you did kind of fast-forward to several months later. He'd probably want to cuddle/kiss for a few weeks until he got some stability in the relationship, like anyone would. Even though they're connected, with the way he was hurt, he'd be a while trusting anyone. How they realized their mutual feelings was a little contrived, as well.

    I'm not flaming you - this is just a critique, and my opinions at that. But you're better than that! I know you can write, I've read your other fics as well. Don't fall into the quick review trap by tossing in h0t y401 s3x. You can do better.
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  • From ANON - Sae on September 02, 2003
    That was so beautiful, this story kept me up for a long time even though I wanted to go to bed, it just grabbe ane and wouldn't let go. Wonderfully written. I truly hope to see more excellent stories like this!
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  • From ANON - cool on August 31, 2003
    give yugi his leomon!
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