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December 26, 2003 at 12:00 AM
I really like this story a lot. I'm impressed with your grasp of the English langauage and the way you convey your ideas. But for some spelling I would not have guessed that English was not your first language. Well done and I hope to see more soon. I would also be willing to beta for you and have sent you an e-mail about that.
Akuchan
Akuchan
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December 26, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Very good story. If you are looking for a beta reader, I'd be happy to help.
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December 14, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Whoa....that was just....whoa. Simply amazing, that was the most vivid opening for a story I've read in a long time, and I don't just mean fanfiction. That was of novel quality, I would actuawalkwalk into any bookstore and pay to read something like you've written. (although heh, can't say I hate getting it for free instead on a website.) Considering you said English isn't even your first language, that makes this more impressive. I speak French, but I could never write so beautifully in it. To be able to write like this in another language, I bow to your talent.
A times while you illustrated the history of Egypt and the Shadow Games it was almost like reading an actual account, I couldn't separate fact from fiction! Your rech pch paid off, you write so well about Egypt, you make it feel so real.
I also have to applaud someone who treats Anzu nicely...I admit I don't care much for her role in the anime, but there's no reason to bash her. I like that you tried to make our first three introduced charcaters very real, with real hopes and ambitions. The fact that Jounouchi isn't being portrayed as dumb is always a good thing (he's my fave character, I hate to see him dumb as a post in fanfics.) I can't wait until we meet the other characters too, I know you'll make them as great as Katsura and his friends. (One note, the name Katsura sounds too cute! Katsuya-Katsura. Sorry, just like the way it sounds. The other Egyptian-ized names are nice too, just to let you know.)
I so hope you keep this up, it's one of the best stories I've come across in a while!
A times while you illustrated the history of Egypt and the Shadow Games it was almost like reading an actual account, I couldn't separate fact from fiction! Your rech pch paid off, you write so well about Egypt, you make it feel so real.
I also have to applaud someone who treats Anzu nicely...I admit I don't care much for her role in the anime, but there's no reason to bash her. I like that you tried to make our first three introduced charcaters very real, with real hopes and ambitions. The fact that Jounouchi isn't being portrayed as dumb is always a good thing (he's my fave character, I hate to see him dumb as a post in fanfics.) I can't wait until we meet the other characters too, I know you'll make them as great as Katsura and his friends. (One note, the name Katsura sounds too cute! Katsuya-Katsura. Sorry, just like the way it sounds. The other Egyptian-ized names are nice too, just to let you know.)
I so hope you keep this up, it's one of the best stories I've come across in a while!
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December 14, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Great writing! However, a few things:
1: Corn isn't supposed to exist in Egypt. Corn is a solely New World staple.
2: You misspelled threat during your intro. Just to let ya know. ^__^
Interesting story still! WOOT!
1: Corn isn't supposed to exist in Egypt. Corn is a solely New World staple.
2: You misspelled threat during your intro. Just to let ya know. ^__^
Interesting story still! WOOT!
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December 13, 2003 at 12:00 AM
I realy like your first chapter it was colorful and indepth. I hope you keep writting I enjoyed it.