rate_review Reviews

I personally, would like to thank you for attempting to do this pairing, god knows this is a rare, if a bit weird, pairing. First of all, all the characters in your story are out of character. I would work harder at trying to play them in character and you may find if your hard work pays off, it will become a masterpiece. You did Tenma's character totally wrong. You made him more like Odin, Malik's servant. Tenma Yakou Crawford is Pegasus's evil twin. I'm not joking. He's evil. He's a scheming, well-educated man, much like Pegasus himself. He's not like Ryou or Odin or...You get the picture. Bandit Keith, he's an all-American guy. Rough, tough-guy ya know. You should also work a bit more on the plot of this story...It doesn't really have one...That is if I'm not a baka and didn't read the category right...Maybe this is just a one-shot lemon...Ah, well...If you want my advice, I think you should redo this. It's not all that bad, it has potential. It just needs a little work. Keep up the good work.
--Peggy

Um,....I was right...I did read the category thingy wrong...I feel stupid...Well....All is not lost...I think you should do a fic with them in character...It would be interesting...

Please finish this soon! By the way, who is Tenma? I have not heard of him before but then again I don't really keep up with the Yu-Gi-Oh! series/manga storyline.