rate_review Reviews

OOOoooo hope to see more of this!

Your Fanfiction sounds very interesting.
Please update soon!

I like this version better than the first. A little crit. You should spell check it a bit and start a new paragraph for who is speaking, it gets a little hard to know who's speaking if you don't. You need to also be careful about your tenses. Is it past or present? There were a few spots that had that issue, and a few words were not right. "felling" and "feeling" is one example. ^.^ I'm not trying to flame, just letting you know some mistakes. Anyway, the story is good and I would like to see the next chapter soon. ^_^ Making it longer is a good idea too, like you said you would at the end of the chapter. Until next time. Byee!

~ChibiRinni ^.~