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for Happy birthday, Seto

by TabFan

person cherryblossomwindfall
schedule November 17, 2012 at 12:00 AM
This is not intended as a flame, I promise. But to be honest, I felt like I was being told an account about walking to Walmart. Just the way you wrote it. It was like "Yeah, so one day I decided to go to Walmart, and then I saw this cat, blah blah blah." Especially the last line. I felt like you just got tired of writing it and decided to throw something down just to make the readers feel happy. I couldn't really get into it, ya know? The idea itself is alright, you just need to work on your style. :) Keep trying though!!

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