rate_review Reviews

I've read this story before many years ago!! I finally decided to come back to AFF and I just had to read your story again!!!! I don't care what everyone says but I love seeing all my favorite Yugioh character's as sex slaves!!! Love reading about yugi being Yami no Marik personal slave!!! Its been so many years for you to not finish this story!!! If you ever decided to come back and finish your story please do!!!! I really want to see Seto/Yugi again!!! I do wanna see Honda and Otogi spend some time with Yugi!!! And Yami too!!

OMG this is great, I can't wait til the next chapter! When you do add to this, do you think that you could send me an email with the web address to let me know? the email is PotionsPet@tidni.com

CONTINUEPLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

First of all u rule 4 listinig to a perfect circle!!!!!!! they rock and i really like this story!!!!!!!! please update soon!!!! oh and i really liked the yugi and malik action. it TURNED ME ON!!!!!!!!!

Continue!!!! hurry!!! This story is awesome keep up the work :-)

i <3 your story! *drools* update soon.

to make it less confusing (you probably already know this) yami no malik is usually referred to as merik or marik or however people have been spelling it lately. i'm a huge fan of your story and looking forward to pegasus/yugi. i love pegasus! yeah, so i hope the next chapter is soon...pretty please?

First off, this story would have been massively helped by an AU warning. By just saying "Yami no Malik captures Yugi," it sounds like it's set in the normal universe with Yami no Yugi somehow having been disabled. As it is, though, with the twisted relationships and personalities in this fic (the slave girl in the beginning being terrified of speaking on front of Isis, for instance, seems massively out of character for Isis), it certainly isn't anything like canon. Truth be told, instead of being curious why Yami Yugi isn't helping Yugi at this point, I'd almost be surprised if Yami even *knew* Yugi or cared about him at all, with how twisted everyone else in this fic is.

It's also hard to say what your characterization of Yugi is, and how justifiable it is. If he's supposed to be broken, you didn't do a very good job making that transition. He "broke" in the first chapter if that's the case, which would make him incredibly, incredibly weak. And while Yugi is many things -- naive, incompetent, and foolish (though not stupid), for instance -- weakness of will under pain isn't one of his greatest flaws. He isn't perfect, but he's better than THAT. What that implies, then, is that he WANTS to be a sex slave, which I suppose is technically fine, but doesn't seem to draw upon anything specific to Yu-Gi-Oh!. Yugi gives no indication of that kind of desire in the series, so that makes this essentially an original story, not a fanfiction, especially once you throw in how little relation the other characters bear to their true selves. Appearance alone does not a fanfiction make.

Also, what's up with Yugi falling in love with everyone? Has he just gone that crazy? I mean, even if you said his crushes on the other slaves were just desperate gratitude for the (relative) kindness, he was *relieved* to see his master by the beginning of chapter two. Relieved? That his captor, who had brutally raped him and allowed him no release, and then *tied him to the bed overnight* was there? Oh, yes, it was *merely* Yami no Malik -- because it could really have been so much worse! I don't think so.

I could go on and on about how implausible this fic is -- how does Yami no Malik have so much money that he can afford to support a dozen people, at least, in a mansion, with none of them seeming to do any outside work at all? Where is he that this kind of thing is unnoticed, where does he find the people to capture that aren't noticed being gone, and where does he even find the other masters? If it's a PWP, label it as such and let it stand as such. If you're going to toss plot into it, though, make it plausible. This isn't.

I write this review because you have repeatedly mentioned that you have a flamer, and doing that makes an author practically invincible. When someone is being flamed, people naturally support them and encourage them, because that's such an outrageous thing to do. However, that means that honest criticism is often thrown aside, and so that's what this is. That it and use it as you like; my responsibility lies solely in giving you the truth as I see it.

This is such a good fic!! Keep up the great work! I LOVE this fic! Never expected Yugi to be in the middle of all of this... I shall review the most recently chapter as soon as I read it... but.. until then... Great job!

I love your work!
I can't get enough of it, and I can barley wait for more!