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Salvation	By : NihilEtNemo Category: Yu-Gi-Oh > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1400 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh!, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Salvation
- 1
Salvation

Author:
Setosgirl
Pairings:
Mokuba x Seto
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!. I don't own Seto. I
don't own anything, because I'm a communist ( ^^ )
Summary:
6^th and final in the series of Magnificent
Bastard, Pain, Tears, Strength,
and Control. It�s over.
Words:
4,632
Rating:
hard R

~ * ~ * ~

Bitch, he calls me. As he hits
me, and I just sit there. He asks me if I agree.

I tell him yes, as I have told
him for years. Years? Or is it my lifetime? Have I ever told him no? Pick me
up, Seto! Yes, Mokuba. Buy me this toy, Seto! Yes, Mokuba. Keep me safe, Seto!
Yes, Mokuba. Let me hit you when I get mad, Seto! Yes, Mokuba. Let me control
your life � let me tell you when and what you can eat, who you can talk to,
when you can leave the house, Seto! Yes, Mokuba. Let me tie you to the bed and
cut and beat and rape you until you�re only staying conscious because I tell
you to, Seto, until you�re crying because of what I�m doing to you and because
I tell you to, Seto! Yes, Mokuba.

He tells me that I used to be
strong. I know he�s wrong, but he believes it. He�s always had that much faith
in me � even if I�m not strong now, I was once, and I can be again� but I never
was, and I never can be. He�s always been my strength. Everything I�ve ever
done, it was for him. I could never resist him, never deny him, and I never
tried. This only takes it a step further.

He hits me again, and tells me
that he doesn�t think I�ll ever be strong again. I taste blood; it�s a
familiar, almost comforting taste. I taste my blood more than I taste food. He
doesn�t let me eat very much, very often. He doesn�t let me go out. No one has
seen me outside this house in two years; they think I�m a recluse. Mokuba runs
the company � he makes mistakes, and its slowly sinking, but he won�t let me
help, or let me take it over again. The people love him, though, so that makes
up for it. He doesn�t need the money anyway; he has all of mine.

I haven�t seen a face aside from
his in over a year. None of the servants, no one that visits, no one from work.
I don�t watch TV or movies. I don�t read. I don�t do anything but sit here in
my room, feeling myself slipping. I haven�t even seen sunlight in over a year.
The bedroom I have now is in the middle of the house, one of the old servants�
rooms. He has my old room. He brings me food whenever he thinks I need it � not
often enough. Maybe just enough. I�m still alive, after all.

He makes me look into his eyes.
It�s hard to see him; it�s dark in here, and I�m crying. I cry so much now. I�m
glad when he comes back here, because it means that he still needs me, that he�s
not hurting himself by hurting someone else. I know it can�t last forever,
though � look at me. I�m dying, I�m sure of it. Even when I get food, I can�t
eat it all. I just don�t want it. And I can�t stand the thought of him not
needing me anymore, of me dying and leaving him alone. I have to save him.

He smirks. And tells me he has no
use for me anymore. My breath catches in my throat; say you�re only fucking
with me, please, like when you said you didn�t love me so long ago� But I know
he�s not. He means it. He doesn�t need me anymore. Because I�m too weak.

I only look at him. I could
almost swear I see something� something like disappointment in his eyes� did he
want me to fight him? Deny it? I can�t� he�s right.

He removes himself from my body
and grabs his pants. I sit up and try to stop crying. I knew this was coming�
he doesn�t need me. I wonder how long he hasn�t. How long he really hasn�t
loved me. I believe � I know � that he hasn�t done anything to anyone else yet,
though. He would have gotten rid of me before he did. What will he do now? If
he doesn�t need me�

He pushes me backward on the bed
as I�m still wiping tears away. He smirks, and I feel a sharp pain in my chest.
I look down in shock, as he releases the knife. Blood wells up around it,
running down the side of my chest. Without another word, he turns around and
leaves the room.

Either he�s not as good as he
thinks he is� or he just wants me to bleed to death� or he is only trying to scare
me and didn�t mean to kill me. I know which I hope it is� but I think he just
missed. I force myself up and pull the knife out, letting it fall on the floor
and pressing my hand to my chest, coughing a little. I taste blood again. He got
my lung, I think� I have a little while� I have to get out�

I�m� actually thinking of trying
to get away from him? Of denying him, for the first time ever?

Yes� yes, I have to, for his
sake. I can�t let him kill me. I can�t let him damn his soul� I know he can
still be saved. I can�t let this sin fall on him�

I force myself out of the bed� I�m
so weak, but that isn�t from being stabbed, I�m always weak recently. Grab
clothes�. Dark, they�ll hide the blood� in case anyone sees me�

But the door�s locked. I cough up
more blood and fall to my knees, remembering skills that I haven�t used in
years� There�s a paperclip on the table, perfect, I can use it � I pick the lock.
It�s not that hard. I learned by picking the locks in this house.

Blood is running down my chest
now. Soaking my shirt. I need to get out. Get out and stop Mokuba from being
lost. I stifle a cough as I lean on the doorway, looking down the dark hall. I
haven�t even seen this except in stolen glances as he came in for so long�

No� no time to think about it.

Get out, bitch. Just get out, Seto.
You have to get out and save Mokuba.

Has he always had this planned?
Has he always planned to kill me when he no longer saw me as any sort of
strength for him to control? When my tears and pain no longer satisfied?

I carefully close the door behind
me. He might not know. I can�t lock it, of course, but I can make sure it�s
shut. So it�s not obvious that I�m gone. He might not check again until
tomorrow�

Down the dark hall. My eyes are
used to the dark. Can I even remember my way around anymore? I haven�t been out
here in so long. But I can. This way. The place is like a maze, but I know. I
can�t go out the front; no. The basement. I could probably hide from him in my
office down here, if I wanted. I don�t want. I want out. There�s a
trapdoor into the middle of the lawn in the back of the house. I remember� I
used it, once, so long ago, to get in, when I had to save him from Pegasus�

I cough again as I push it open.
I did it with only a little trouble a few years ago� I can barely move it now.
I slide out and lie in the grass, breathing deeply. Air� real air. Not
recycled, air conditioned or heated, but real air� It�s been so long�

I�m crying again � disgusting. I�m
weak. Too weak. So weak� I wipe them away and stumble to my feet. If only it
were day� I want to see the sunlight�

Maybe tomorrow.

Why does that sound so much like
hope? I have no reason to hope � nothing to hope for my pathetic life for
except to save Mokuba from killing me. But still� tomorrow. How long has it
been since I�ve looked forward to tomorrow? More than a decade?

I lean against the wall for a
moment, then push myself up with shaky arms, pulling the wound on my chest open
further, spilling warm blood down my body. I nearly vaulted this thing to get
in � I have to crawl to get out. At least the grass on the other side is soft;
I fall on it and just lie there, coughing.

The sky is so clear� I don�t
think I�ve ever seen so many stars. And the air is so cool and fresh, so light�
it must be summer. I�ve always liked the summer.

But I can�t just stay here to die
� Mokuba will be damned and they�ll find me and know what happened to me, and
it will ruin Mokuba�s life. I refuse to ruin Mokuba�s life� So to my
feet. It isn�t that far to civilization� I would get a driver, but I can�t.
They would bring me back to Mokuba. They know who runs the house. They know it
isn�t me.

The mansion is in town, but
removed from the streets by several hundred feet. The sounds of the city life
are muted, but I can hear them � I know that civilization is still there. I�ve
never heard anything so beautiful. Stick to the shadows � I go from tree to
tree, on hand pressed to my chest, trying to stop the bleeding. I don�t know if
I�ll ever make it � maybe I�m dying and this is a hallucination; it doesn�t
seem to get any closer. No, it�s real. It has to be.

I finally break into the light,
drawing back, hiding my eyes. It�s so bright� I sway a bit. I have to go.

Go where, idiot?

Someone has to be able to help
me. Someone� someone can save Mokuba. Hospital? No. Never. They�ll know. So�

Yuugi can help me�

Where the hell does he live? I
haven�t seen him in years� any of them� Mokuba wouldn�t let me. He might have
kept in touch with them, but I haven�t been allowed. But I think I can remember�
my feet seem to think so. They carry me forward, wincing from the light and
leaning on the building. I realize I�m leaving a bloody trail as my hand slides
along the wall and let my hand fall.

I fall once� just once. Two
bloody hand prints on the cement� the walk of fame� I left my mark on the world�
My only mark. Besides the mess I�ve made of Mokuba. That�s all I�ve left. I�ve
disappeared completely from the world, and no one cares. No one�s even noticed.
Mokuba�s taken over my life and no one cares, no one notices�

Blood drips between my hands. I
need to go. Yuugi will save Mokuba.

I hope that game shop is still
his grandfather�s� I hope he still lives there� he doesn�t. There�s not way he
does. It�s been almost ten years since graduation� he�s not there. I�m deluding
myself. Why am I even trying? For Mokuba, of course. Mokuba. To save him. I
have to try, for Mokuba.

There�s� there�s a light on� in
the top of the game shop, where they live. Fate is on my side� There is no such
thing as fate. The future can be changed. Then chance is on my side. Someone�s
there� probably just the old man. But he can tell me where Yugi is.

I fall against the wall, leaving
a bloody smear on the glass door. I rest my head against it for a moment,
breathing deeply. And there�s movement inside. Someone inside. Maybe he can
save me� maybe it�s him�

My fist on the door barely makes
a sound. Too weak� fucking bitch can�t even draw attention to himself�

I close my eyes and rest my
forehead against it. The door starts to move, surprising me � he�s opening it. I
stumble inside, falling, stopped suddenly. He caught me. Short body, small
arms.

Kaiba-san! he says. -San? What
happened to -kun? I could use a -kun right now� Even if it was just for old
times� sake.

Yuugi, I manage to choke out, and
cough again. He pulls me inside and slams the door shut. He�s a foot shorter
than me, yet he holds me up easily. Jounouchi! he yells to the rest of the shop.
Come here! I wonder what the mutt�s doing here�

A taller figure appears in the
darkness. What is it, koi? Koi? Are they lovers? It�s Kaiba-san. Here, help me;
he�s hurt. Kaiba? Jou picks me up, pulling me out of Yuugi�s arms. Let�s take
him upstairs. He�s bleeding, Jou; I have his blood on me.

He turns on a light as we get
upstairs, and I have to cover my eyes with one hand. It�s hard to breathe. Harder
to see, now. I�ve grown so accustomed to darkness, the light hurts me� Kaiba?
Hey, Kaiba, don�t pass out. Don�t go into shock. Yuug, he needs a hospital. It�s
bad.

I grip his arm tightly, and he
winces a little. Good to know I still have that weapon at my disposal. Don�t, I
tell him. I can�t go to the hospital. I can�t. The job doesn�t need to be good,
doesn�t need to last long. Just make sure I don�t die.

He pulls his arm away. It�ll be a
good job, Kaiba, he says, and sets me on the bed. I slowly remove my hand from
my eyes. They�re both wearing matching rings; they�re married. Yuugi hovers
nervously in the doorway, watching. He does have my blood on him. I�m sorry, I
didn�t mean to.

Yuugi is staring at me. I forgot;
the scars on my face. It doesn�t matter anyway. Jou doesn�t even seem to
notice. I�m going to take your shirt off, he says. So I can look at the injury.
I freeze for a moment but nod. He has to anyway.

He unbuttons it and lays it open,
but I sit up and take it all the way off. He pushes me back down, eyes only on
the bloody gash in my chest. Yuugi is staring at the rest of me now. Arms,
shoulders, chest, stomach; I wonder what he sees. A decade�s worth of scars on
a too-thin body, silent tribute to a lifetime of abuse� not all of these are
Mokuba�s doing. There are remnants of Gozaburo�s handiwork still visible. I got
a couple of these scars at the hands of other boys in the orphanage. There are
none from my real parents.

Kaiba� what happened to you?

Yuugi, hush. I need to treat this
before he tries to talk anymore. You�re lucky, Kaiba. Whoever stabbed you can�t
aim worth a damn. They missed your heart by at least ten centimeters. Didn�t
even pierce your lung.

Then why am I coughing up blood?

His eyes meet mine, and they�re
hard, but not in an unforgiving way. In a way that shows strength, tempered
with compassion. True strength, not the fa�ade I put up with Mokuba.

Because you�re a very sick man,
Kaiba. Whoever did this too you probably didn�t expect you to be able to get
away even if they didn�t kill you straight off; you would have bled out before
too long.

I close my eyes and let my head
fall back. There is pressure on my chest, painful and making it hard to breathe,
but I don�t even bother to look. He�s compressing it to stop the bleeding.
After a while, he lets up, and I take a deep breath. He seems satisfied that it�s
stopped. I open my eyes to look at him. How�?

Yuugi smiles and comes closer,
leaning on his husband. Jounouchi�s a doctor, Kaiba. In the ER.

Others would call that fate; I
say it�s a wonderful coincidence. I sit up. Thank you.

Jou pushes me back down. You�re
not going anywhere. You�re malnourished, injured, sick, you just lost a lot of
blood, and you obviously need help. I give in. I�m so used to giving in by now.

Kaiba, what happened to you?
Where have you been for the last two years, since Mokuba took over KaibaCorp? No
one�s seen you.

I know� I�ve been at home. This
is the first time I�ve left the house since then�

Their eyes roam over my body,
taking in the scars, old and new � the wound in my chest.

Kaiba� Mokuba told the press that
you were just on vacation � taking a sabbatical.

I sigh and look away. Of course
he did. That explains why no one has come to see me. Not that he�d tell me if they did. Not that he�d
let them.

Mokuba did this to you, didn�t
he? Yes. But some of these scars are old � years old. How long has this been
going on? He�s been doing it since he was twelve.

Oh, how funny � shock. Of course.
He was such a sweet little kid. No one can believe that he�s capable of
something like this. I suppose I see a side of him no one else does. I hope so,
anyway. I don�t think he�s capable of it, except with me.

What day is it?

It�s June twenty-fourth � almost midnight,
though.

I turned twenty-six nine months
ago without ever noticing. The day after tomorrow is Mokuba�s twenty-first
birthday, though. He�ll be an adult in the eye of the law. This has to end
before then.

I have to go. I try to sit up,
but Jou holds me down. You�re not going anywhere. Just wait here until the
morning, and we can go to the cops-

No! I a not going to the cops,
and neither are you. You can�t. You can�t let anyone know.

Kaiba, look at what he�s done to
you!

I don�t care! He�s a good person,
and I�m not going to let you ruin his life or his reputation.

Then what are you going to tell
people when they ask about your scars?

Nothing.

There is a long pause. They don�t
want to accept this. They both look so old� I haven�t seen them in almost nine
years, since graduation. That was so long ago. How can time do this to people?
Take them on such different paths, and no one notices until they get thrown
back together? They�ve moved on � they have lives. My life is almost the same
as it was then, except that I have no school and that KaibCorp is in Mokuba�s
control.

Just stay until morning,
Kaiba-kun. I have to sigh at that and fall backward onto the bed. I haven�t
heard that phrase in� forever. Yuugi and his friends were the only people to
ever count me as one. Ever. How can someone survive without friends? Not very
well. I�ve proven that. I nod, giving in to his will, as I so want to.

Are you hurt anyplace else? Jou
asks. I don�t know. Can you undress so that I can check? I just want to make
sure you�re not going to die during the night.

I pause, then nod and sit up to remove
my pants so that he can get a look at me. I�m not wearing any underwear, but I
guess it�s not much of an issue. He tells me to lie on my stomach, and I
reluctantly do, putting pressure on my chest again. I have no idea if I�m hurt
or not. It�s possible.

There�s silence for a moment,
then light hands on my back, very businesslike. He doesn�t seem to find
anything really wrong � just a lot of scars. He rapes you, he says finally. No �
we have sex. I don�t care what they think about that, about us being brothers.

Kaiba, normal sex doesn�t scar
you.

There�s nothing I can say to
that. I wouldn�t know � Mokuba is the only, for lack of a better word, lover I�ve
ever had. I�m sure I�m not his, but that doesn�t matter much to me. I don�t
control him. I don�t own him.

You need help.

I know. But there�s nothing you
can do to help me. You can�t tell anyone � ever. No matter what happens, you
have to promise me that you won�t tell anyone. I can�t do that to Mokuba.

I�ve sat up by now, staring into
their eyes. Yuugi draws back a little bit, but they both meet my eyes.

I won�t do it, Jou says. He rapes
and abuses you. He appears to be starving you, and you�re sick � I don�t know
what it is without testing, but you obviously need treatment that he won�t
provide. He tried to kill you. I�m not going to let him get away with it.

Neither will I, I tell him
quietly. I�m going to save him. Don�t worry, I�ll take care of it. But you can�t
tell anyone.

All right, Yuugi tells me
quietly. We won�t tell. Unless he kills you or something�

I nod. Don�t worry; he won�t. I�ll
make sure of it.

Jounouchi wordlessly hands me my
clothes, and I put them back on, and look out the window. It�s after midnight
by now. Soon the sun will come up� Just a few hours.

I barely hear them leave. They
shut off the light when they go, and I just stare out the window. Tomorrow is
Mokuba�s birthday. I have to finish it before then. I have to make sure he can
never hurt me like he was going to, he can never damn himself like that� My own
soul is of no importance; I�m already damned. If I can just save him�

I just want to see the sun again,
though. Strange� years ago, I could go weeks, locking myself up I my room with
my computer and forgetting that the sun existed. Now, I need it. Just one last
time. Just one last�

The window faces east. It gradually
lightens, turning the sky and the room a dull grey� I sit up on my knees, my
arms on the windowsill, resting my chin on them. Bony� it kind of hurts. It
doesn�t matter. The sun is rising.

The sky lightens. The clouds turn
a pale pink, the sky gradually turning blue, a pale washed out color, watercolor
with too much water spread over a piece of white paper� The buildings are slowly
touched with golden light� My breath catches. I�ve lived in the darkness for so
long�

The sun finally rises into my
view, over the tops of the buildings. I close my eyes and rest my eyes on my
arms as the sunlight washes over me� I thought I�d never see it again� I�d
never feel warm like this again. My eyelids are red, and I can�t seem to stop
crying�

Kaiba-kun? Are you all right? A
small hand on my shoulder, weight on the bed.

I�m fine.

You�re crying�

I haven�t seen the sun in one
year, four months, three weeks, and two days� I thought I�d never see it again.

Oh god, Kaiba� How can you let
him do this to you? He sounds so sorry for me. He pities me. Mokuba�s right, I�m
weak, pathetic, pitiful � but what should I have done? Stood up to him? Fought
back? Hurt him? No, I can�t. I could never do that to him�

You should get some sleep. You
need to rest, and the sun will still be here later, or tomorrow�

No � no, please. I don�t want to
sleep. I want to go outside and be in the sunlight for a while. I�ll sleep
tonight, I promise.

You don�t need my permission to
go outside�

I shake my head at myself. I�m
used to someone � Mokuba � telling me what to do all the time. Free will is
something I�ll have to get reacquainted with. Not for very long.

I just raise my head and look out
the window again. It�s so beautiful�. How can Mokuba expect me to live without
it? I need it� everyone needs it. So beautiful�

Kaiba? Okay?

No. No, I�m not� Of course he isn�t,
Jou. Yuugi still sounds sad. Maybe he knows what I�m going to do. He can�t be
sad for me, though; I don�t matter. I only matter because I can save Mokuba.

Kaiba� are you sure you won�t go
to the police? Mokuba needs help�

I know. I�m going to save him�
you can�t help. Just let me stay here and enjoy the sunlight for a while� I�ll
leave later tonight and take care of it. I�ll make sure he can�t hurt himself �
me� I have to say me, because that�s what they want to hear � ever again.

I can feel them both staring at
me. I don�t care. My eyes are focused out the window, on the way the sunlight
hits the trees. It�s so peaceful. There are birds singing. I hear a dog. There are
almost no city-sounds so early in the morning. I close my eyes, trying not to
cry again.

Sure� They sound like I�m acting
strange. I am. But it doesn�t matter. I�ve never been normal and I�m allowed to
want to sit here in the sunlight�

It�s so beautiful�

You have to eat, though. I�m not
hungry. You will be if you start eating. I don�t bother to argue any more. I
know I�ll eat, but I really don�t want it. Food doesn�t really appeal to me,
hasn�t for a while. I really am sick.

They leave, probably to get the
food, leave me alone with the sunlight. It�s so beautiful�

I can�t put it off any longer.
The sunlight is gone, and night has taken over again. I�m at peace with my
decision. I won�t let Mokuba kill me, or think he killed me. I have to save
him, and I want him to know.

There is a gun in my house. I don�t
think Mokuba ever knew about it, so he hasn�t taken it. If he has, I�ll find a
different way. But he has to know.

Kaiba-kun, are you going to be
okay?

Yes� Yes, I think I finally will.
I offer them a small smile, and they both return it. Thank you both. I can deal
with it now.

They let me go, feeling
reassured. It isn�t far home; it�s night, again, thankfully. I couldn�t go out
during the daylight; people would see me. Recognize me. I can�t let that
happen. But now I�m going home again. I have to save Mokuba.

I don�t climb walls or sneak in
this time � I come in the front door. He hasn�t changed the alarm code in two
years, and I can shut it off easily. He may know I�m here already, but probably
not. I have time to find my gun.

Not my bedroom � my old bedroom.
Mokuba�s bedroom now. My office. I was in there more often anyway, and more
concerned about things I kept there than in my bedroom. It doesn�t really look
like he uses it anymore, for much of anything. Maybe my gun is still here�

I kneel behind the desk and pull
open the bottom drawer, emptying it swiftly with slightly shaking hands. Depress
the latch on the bottom, and the bottom of the drawer pops up. I put it here to
hide it from Mokuba. There � it�s still there, black, gleaming. Bullets beside
it, but I know it�s already loaded.

I don�t bother fixing it, putting
it all back together. Why bother? I rest the gun against my temple. So close� I
could save him from killing me�

No, I need Mokuba to know. I need
him to know why I�m doing this.

I force myself back to my feet,
coughing again. It�s okay. Only a few more minutes. I don�t really know where
to look for him� he may not even be here. But he probably is. I glance briefly not
his room, but I knew he wouldn�t be there. If he�s anywhere, he�s in my room. I
know he�s checked by now.

I hear a thud and a muffled swear
word. I think he punched the wall. He�s angry that I�m gone� but at least I
know he�s here. I�m almost afraid to approach him� what if he gets the gun away
from me? What will he do to me? Will he kill me? Will all of this have been in
vain?

But I have to try. I take as deep
a breath as I can manage and step into the doorway.

He sees me, and his face is a
mask of anger � but I see something else in his eyes. They look glad.

You fucking bitch!

I wince, but I raise the gun,
resting it lightly against my temple again. His eyes go wide, but the shrewdness
there is almost frightening.

I�m sorry, Mokuba. I�m crying
again, and I see disgust cross his features at it. I�m sorry I�m so weak�

You pathetic asshole. You won�t
do it. I won�t let you.

Mokuba, I have to. I can�t let
you hurt yourself like this. I can�t let you keep doing this� It�s hard to see
now, it�s dark and I�m crying. Again. How many times in my life have I been
crying in the dark? I have to end this. Maybe the police will look at me, look
at the room, look at Mokuba, and know. I hoe not� I desperately hope not. Let
them think I went crazy. Don�t let them hurt Mokuba in any way. His good name
is his. His reputation, his personality. Don�t hurt him.

No. Seto, give me the fucking
gun.

I close my eyes briefly, then
open them and raise it. He stares at me, eyes wide, at the gun I�m pointing at
his head.

I can�t let you hurt yourself
anymore, Mokuba. I can�t let you hurt anyone else. I can�t let you damn your
soul�

Nii-sama�

I love you, Mokuba.

I close my eyes and pull the
trigger. He doesn�t have time to run, to take it, to tell or ask me not to�

It�s over. I slide down the wall,
staring at his wide, blank eyes, put the gun to my head, and pull the trigger.
It�s over.
- 1
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Salvation

Salvation