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Too Immature	By : Hideki LaShae Category: Yu-Gi-Oh > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1414 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: All Yu-Gi-Oh! characters and references belong to their respective owners. The song Immature belongs to Ayumi Hamasaki and the company that recorded it and was used in this story with the best of intentions.

Chapter List
- 1-Too Immature
- 1
Disclaimer: All Yu-Gi-Oh! characters and references belong
to their respective owners. The song Immature belongs to Ayumi Hamasaki
and the company that recorded it and was used in this story with the best of
intentions. Story elements � Hideki LaShae. No money was gained in the writing
of this story.

Too Immature
By

Hideki LaShae

�� Sometime in that
river a piece of my broken dream floated by.
�� The
promises I couldn�t keep have one by one caused pain.

�� Itsu ka ano kawa de
nagarete�ta mono wa kowareta yume no kakera datta ne
�� Mamorarenakatta
yakusoku ni ichiichi kizu tuite mitari shite�ta n da.
- - Immature
� Ayumi Hamasaki

�� I stand
there staring at the mirror, glaring at the person it shows me. I stare, and
the person glares back. Finally, I can�t take it anymore. �What are you looking
at? Who are you?�
�� I glare at
that person some more. I growl when there is no response. �Do you have any idea
who I am?�
�� Still the
person just glares at me.
�� I don�t
know who you think you are! I don�t know you and I have no reason to waste my
time here with you!� I stare into those dead eyes. �Don�t look at me like that!
I don�t know you! You don�t know me! Don�t judge me!�
�� The person
just blinks back at me.
�� I sigh and
close my eyes. I fight back the tears that threaten to form in my eyes. �I� I
used to know you, didn�t I? We used to be close, I think. But now, I can�t even
remember your name. Who the hell are you?�
�� I open my
eyes just long enough to see the flash of sadness in those brown eyes. I clamp
my eyes shut again. �Who are you? Answer me, damn it!�
�� I turn away
from the mirror and walk out of the bathroom. I cross the living room and stare
out the French window beside the balcony doors. There, I see that person again.
That�s when I realize something. �I can�t even tell what sex you are. You have
long hair like a woman, but your body is well built like a man�s would be. And
the clothing you wear� it does nothing to help me discern your sex. What are
you? Who are you? Where� when did I know you?�
�� Silence again.
All that will ever answer my questions is silence. I don�t think� no, I know
that person will never answer me. What reason have I given them to answer me?
�� I step up
to the glass of the window, and the person steps closer on the other side. I
lean my forehead against the cool glass as the person does the same. I stare
into the brown eyes for a moment before I sigh. �I want to remember you. I want
to know who you are, and I want you to know me.�
�� Something
in the river outside catches my eye, and I turn my gaze away from the person
before me.
�� Floating in
the river is part of a billboard, a worn-out picture of the person I used to
be, back when I was still acting.
�� I�m not
that person anymore. I�ve failed. I wanted to be a big actor, but I failed. There�s
nothing left to do now but go home,� I whisper as I turn from the balcony and
head into my bedroom to pack up the belongings I still have. �Yes. It�s time to
go home.�
�� I freeze as
I hear a whisper, like that of an old memory crashing back in like the waves. I
recognize the voice speaking, and I spin around in aimless circles looking for
the source, but I don�t see anyone near. Still, I hear the words softly spoken,
�Itsu ka ano kawa de nagarete�ta mono wa kowareta yume no kakera datta ne.�
�� That�s� that
language� it�s Japanese.� I look around again and shiver as the voice vanishes
like a memory. �I hate it when others are right. And that voice is right. A
piece of my broken dream just floated by in that river. I hate it when others
are right. That often means I�m wrong.�
�� I pack my
bags, make all the necessary arrangements, and I leave Hollywood behind me,
along with that person who I don�t know� or at least, I think I leave that
person behind. I have more important things to do. I sleep most of the way
there. I don�t need to see the Pacific Ocean as the plane flies over it. I know
how deep and lonely the blue depths are. They remind me of the eyes I once
stared so adamantly into. I�ve been away for two whole years, and during those
two years, I did have one big stunt in a movie. My picture on the billboard is
proof enough of that. So, yes� I was in a movie. I wasn�t the star, but I was
in a supporting role. I had one of the most important parts in the movie. But
as quickly as I rose to fame, I was cast aside. The director had accidentally
let it slip how immature I was when we were doing the movie, and no one would
cast me in another after that. I mumble in my sleep, �I can�t believe he called
me immature and ruined my career.�
�� The person
sitting next to me wakes me up when the light to buckle the seat belts flashes,
and I do so before the plane lands.
�� I walk out
of the plane and into the Japanese terminal. I look around as if expecting
someone to meet me there, but I didn�t tell anyone that I was coming, so no one
would have known about my flight. I decide to start at the beginning and work
my way to the end. I know that the people I left behind will want to see me
again, and after two years away from Japan, I�m sure they will greet me with
many hugs and platonic kisses. I have to start with the person I�ve known the
longest, my dear sister. I�ll need to pick up flowers before I go to visit her
though.
�� I grab my
luggage and head out to the line of awaiting taxicabs. I climb into the back of
one and give the driver the address of the flower shop where I always used to
pick up lilacs and baby�s breath for her. She loved baby�s breath, and lilacs
were very soothing to her. A tear rolls down my cheek discreetly as the cab
drives away. I tell the driver to wait for me as I head up to the woman to get
the bouquet of flowers I want. I smell the bright purple lilacs mixed in the
bouquet with the baby�s breath. I pay her the money, and I climb back into the
cab with the bouquet. I give another address, and the cab rolls off again.
�� This time
when the cab stops, I pay the driver, grab up my luggage, lift the flowers
carefully so as not to crush them, and head inside the tall building. I
silently ride in the elevator with my luggage at my side, and when the doors
open on the sixteenth floor, I step out with everything I brought and I hurry
towards my destination. I stop when I arrive at the plaque and set my luggage
down. I place my bouquet on the shelf beside the plaque and stare at my
sister�s name. �I�m sorry, little sis. It�s been awhile. I�m very sorry. I�ve
been in America. I had my fifteen minutes of fame. I almost starred in a
movie.�
�� Tears roll
down my cheeks as I pay my respects and tell her all about everything I�ve done
since I last saw her. Then, I lift my luggage again and reluctantly leave the
mausoleum. I have more friends to visit, and it�s time I do so. I realize I
should probably get a hotel room so I can stop hauling my luggage all over the
country, but really, I can�t afford a hotel. I just had enough money to get
back here. I know someone will let me stay with them until I get a job and save
enough money for the security deposit on an apartment. So I carry my luggage
with me as I head down towards the high school I used to attend. I walk this
time, taking in all the sites around me.
�� This town
has sure changed. What happened to it while I was gone?
�� That
store� there was an arcade there,� I mumble half to myself.
�� Not
anymore. It burned down about two years ago,� says a middle-aged woman who
sweeps the sidewalk, �A terrible fire, but the fire department managed to
contain it to the arcade. They never did catch the person who set it alight.
This store was built in its place six months later. Did you used to live around
here, stranger?�
�� I look at
the woman in disbelief. �Stranger? Yes� I guess I am a stranger to this town
now. It�s been two years since I left.�
�� Welcome
back!� The woman smiles.
�� I nod
slightly as I walk away again. It�s not long before I find the school. It�s
gotten a new paint job. It looks creepy with all that black graffiti on it.
�Wait a minute! That says� �You are so immature to have broken your promise��
Why does that sound like it�s addressed to me?�
�� I turn away
from the school with a shudder and I hurry away. I remember taking this route
every day. It�s so familiar to me, like the scent of fresh baked cookies at
Grandma�s house. That�s not too far from where I�m going, except it wasn�t a
grandma who lived above that little store� it was a grandfather, and he wasn�t
mine. I quickly reach the little shop, and I look at the sign. It�s new.
�� Koinu.�
Written in bright golden letters upon the deep brown sign.
�� I open the
door and step inside to be nearly assaulted by a stray puppy that runs towards
me.
�� Stop that
dog!� calls someone.
�� I drop my
luggage and reach down quickly to snatch the puppy before it escapes into the
city. I look at the precious little golden Labrador puppy in my arms. �Now,
now, no running away, make inu��
�� I freeze
when I hear myself say those words. Those words sound so familiar, as if I have
heard them before� heard them spoken through another�s lips and directed at�
directed at me. �Make inu� stupid puppy.�
�� Kami!�
exclaims the person who had spoke earlier.
�� My eyes
shift from the puppy�s rich brown eyes to the amethyst eyes of the man. �Hi�
I�m back, obviously.�
�� Is it
really you?�
�� Shocking
isn�t it? Yeah. It�s really me. Two years older, but still a make inu,� I say
with a smile.
�� I�ve
missed you.� He walks towards me and extends his arms. He pulls me into an
embrace, nearly squishing the puppy between us. He smiles as he pulls my
luggage further inside and leads me to a kennel where a few other lab puppies
are, so I put the golden one down to play with the others. �How long have you
been back?�
�� I just got
in today. I stopped by to see her before coming here.�
�� He nods. He
expected as much. He never misses a trick. �How have you been?�
�� Fine� I�
got a supporting role in a movie. I was almost a co-star. It was a very big
role, but� that�s over now. No one in Hollywood wants anything to do with me,�
I say, �How have you been? What happened here? Since when was this a pet shop?�
�� Well� I�ve
been doing well. I got the shop a few months after you left. Grandpa and Mom
went to live in Kyoto. Grandpa has a lot of friends there. He wanted to retire
and be near them. Mom went too so she could help him. They left me with the
shop, but it wasn�t making that much money, so I turned it into a pet store,
specializing in cute, little puppies. Aren�t they adorable? I sell a lot of the
Labradors. They are the most popular breed even though they are a larger dog
when they grow up.� He sits down behind the counter. �I wanted to keep the shop
the way it was, but I couldn�t. I have a family to support.�
�� Family?� I
know my eyes must have widened to look like saucers.
�� Mm-Hmm.
Family. I married last year. We�re expecting our first child. She�s three
months pregnant. Hey, honey! Come downstairs and see who�s here!� he calls
towards the staircase that leads into the house above the shop.
�� Who is
it?� asks a brunette woman as she strolls down the staircase. She doesn�t look
pregnant, but what do I know? She looks at me and clamps her hand over her
mouth. �Oh, my God! It can�t be!�
�� I�m glad
to see you recognize me!�
�� How could
I forget one of my best friends?� She hurries the rest of the way down the
stairs and throws her arms around my neck. She kisses my cheek quickly. �Oh,
God, we�ve missed you! Life isn�t the same without you here!�
�� Yeah� it�s
better without me. I mean, look at you two! Married! Children!� I rub her
stomach to emphasize my point. �You two have it made in the shade!�
�� She shakes
her head and looks towards her husband.
�� No we
don�t. We� I�ve been completely miserable without you here. You know I wanted you
to be standing at that altar beside me when I got married!� Tears stream down
from the priceless, amethyst eyes.
�� I pull the
brunette over with me, and I wrap an arm around him, forcing him to join us in
a group hug.
�� You
promised me that you would be my best man like you were always my best friend,
but when it came time, I couldn�t find you! I tried! I couldn�t find you!� He
continues to cry. �Why did you have to leave us like that? You didn�t even tell
us where you were going? We had to assume! You immature make inu!�
�� Those words
don�t sound the same coming from him, but I know what he means. �All the
promises I couldn�t keep, I�m going to keep them now. Can�t you see? I�m more
mature that way� I know I�m a stupid puppy. I was an immature fool, but now I�m
back, and I want to try to make it right if I can. I�ve missed you, and I�m
sorry for hurting you. I thought your lives would be better without me. And
looking at it, it looks like I was right.�

�� The promises I couldn�t keep have one by one caused pain.

�� You have
to look deeper to see the pain we�re in because of you!� exclaims the woman
starting to cry as well, �We would have never asked you to leave!�
�� But I
couldn�t stay. I�m sorry that I hurt you, but I did what I thought was right at
the time. I�m sorry that I was wrong!� I pull them both closer as the tears
fall from my own eyes to mingle with theirs on the floor.
�� He�s the
first one of us to get control over his tears. He wipes his eyes and smiles at
me. �You still could have written us a couple of letters, you silly!�
�� I laugh as
the tears continue down my cheeks. �I know! But writing requires too much
thought. I wanted to write, but every time I sat down to write to you, I didn�t
know what to say.�
�� Where are
you staying?� he asks, �Please, not with your father!�
�� I haven�t
really thought about where to stay,� I say wiping my eyes. I notice the woman
has stopped crying too now, so I wipe the tears from her eyes. �I planned to go
visit everyone and then figure out where to stay.�
�� Well� you
can leave your luggage here while you do that then, and you can stay with us if
you want,� says the woman.
�� I don�t
want to be a burden. You have enough to worry about!� I smile. �Thanks for the
offer though, but maybe I can get someone else to let me stay with them until I
can get my own place. I�m not planning on leaving again.�
�� Great!�
she exclaims, �You can leave your luggage here while you go to talk to everyone
else! There�s so much to do! You know� he�ll want to see you too. He was
very angry when you left.�
�� I nod and
hang my head. �I figured he would be.�
�� Be careful
if you go to his house. He�s bought all the golden Labradors we get in here,�
says the man moving to reach in and pet the head of the golden puppy who had
tried to escape earlier, �This little one will be joining him in a few days.
Maybe you could take him to him?�
�� Maybe,� I
mumble.
�� He�s been
training the labs to protect his house and brother.� The amethyst eyes twinkle
as they look at me. �And also to help ease his pain. He�s taught them to
dog-pile on him when he�s sad.�
�� I laugh.
�So� I�ll see you soon. I want to go say hi to the rest of the gang. Do you
know where I could find them?�
�� Try the
museum,� says the woman at the same time as her husband says, �There�s a
restaurant called �Egypt�s Pride�!�
�� The museum
and Egypt�s Pride? Got it! Thanks, guys. I�ll be back soon,� I say as I turn
and leave the pet store. I breathe a sigh of relief. The more things change the
more they stay the same. I start walking down towards the museum. I remember
the way easily enough, but I don�t remember all the strange new businesses that
have cropped up along the path. �Some things change. Some things never do.�
�� I reach the
museum and enter quickly. I pass the security guard without a second glance.
�� Where do
you think you�re going, buddy?� calls the security guard.
�� I spin
around and look at him. I gasp. �You work here?�
�� Don�t
sound so incredulous!� exclaims the security guard smiling. His green eyes
sparkle in the pale light.
�� Well� yeah�
I mean� wow! You work here?� I�m shocked. Okay, so shocked is an
understatement. I�m flabbergasted!
�� He nods his
head and looks at me seriously. �Where have you been?�
�� Hollywood,�
I say simply, �I�m back for good now.�
�� He smiles
as he flexes his arm to show me the muscles he�s obtained in the past two
years. He makes a swift punch to my jaw, and I fall to the floor.
�� I deserved
that.�
�� Damn
straight you did! Leaving us all worrying about you! With just a stupid note
telling us that you�re leaving of your own free will! You�re a stupid coward,
you know that?� He glares at me.
�� I nod. �I
am stupid.�
�� His eyes
soften and he helps me up. �So� why are you in a museum?�
�� I was just
at Koinu�s� they told me to come here and Egypt�s Pride.�
�� He
chuckles. �Yeah� I bet you were thinking you�d see someone else here!�
�� Speaking
of him, where�s he? I thought he�d be glued to an Egyptian exhibit or
something,� I say looking around.
�� Well�
you�re close. He�s the chef at Egypt�s Pride. I think you�ll recognize the owner
too, and no, the owner isn�t your ex��
�� Hmm� Give
me a hint. Male or female?�
�� Male.
Rich. Sexy, and my new boyfriend!�
�� I blink at
him repeatedly. �You�re gay?�
�� He smiles
and nods. �Well� actually, I�m bi, but� since I can�t have your sister��
�� I would
never let you have my sister!� I exclaim, �You�re a prick!�
�� Hey! I�m
your best bud!�
�� Yeah? So?
I still wouldn�t let you near my sis!� I push him slightly.
�� He pushes
me back, and a small shove fest begins.
�� You know�
I have to get going. I�ll see you later, but I want to stop by and see everyone
else. I don�t want anyone to think that I didn�t come to see them on my first
day back.�
�� I know how
you feel, bud,� he says nodding his head.
�� Oh, by the
way, are the girls in town?�
�� He shakes
his head. �Nope. I hear they�re both in Egypt on an archaeological dig if you
can believe that.�
�� I laugh.
�� Well, I�ll
see you later. Where are you staying?� His eyes look hopeful.
�� I don�t
know yet.� And I should know that by now.
�� You�re
welcome at my place if you need it. It�s small, but it�s home.�
�� Thanks,
bud. I�ll think about it.� I watch as he grabs a notepad and a pen from the
desk where he normally sits watching the security monitors. He writes down his
address as well as several other addresses with names by them so I know who
lives where. Then he passes me the sheet of paper.
�� You�ll be
needing to know that sooner or later.� He smiles.
�� Thanks.
You�re the best,� I say. I turn quickly and walk out, stopping to wave at him
from the door. And I continue along. It doesn�t take me long to find Egypt�s
Pride. Wow� this restaurant looks fancy. I step inside.
�� Hello, and
what time is your reserva�?� The green eyes of the man at the podium finally
raise from his reservation book to look at me. His jaw drops, as well as the
pen that was in his hand a second ago, and he runs away from me, his black
ponytail flying behind him. I lean against the podium. I know I�m not dressed
properly for a place like this, so they won�t let me in� except that the man
who just ran away happens to be a friend of mine. Why he�s running a restaurant
sure beats me. He used to be something of a brilliant toy inventor.
�� The black
haired man returns while dragging a startled white-haired young man. �See? I
told you!�
�� Rich,
chocolate brown eyes meet mine, and the albino smiles warmly. �Welcome back!�
�� I smile.
�Thanks. I just got into town today, and I�ve been going around to say hello to
everyone. This is new of course. Why a restaurant?�
�� I love to
cook,� says the albino.
�� And I love
to eat!� I joke.
�� We talk and
joke for several minutes. We share stories about how we got here. I find their
stories so much more interesting than mine.
�� Yes� and I
noticed the arcade was gone too. Some lady said there was a fire,� I say.
�� You know why
it burned down, don�t you?� asks the green-eyed man.
�� I shake my
head.
�� It burned
down because you left,� he says.
�� What?�
�� We all
spent a lot of time there. It reminded us all of you, but we didn�t burn it
down,� says the albino running his hand through his white locks of hair.
�� Then who�
Oh!� My eyes widen in realization. �Why would he do that? Why would he burn
down a place that had so many memories of me?�
�� He wanted
to burn you out of his memory,� says the man with green eyes.
�� It didn�t
work,� says the albino, �You should go see him now.�
�� I nod. �I�m
on my way then. See ya later. Maybe even tomorrow. You don�t suppose I could
get a job here, do you?�
�� Oh, I
don�t know� how good are you at washing dishes?� Two green eyes sparkle
mischievously.
�� Ha, ha.
I�ll see you later,� I say turning with a smile on my face and walking out. I�m
getting hungry. I have a little money on me, so I�ll stop by the coffee shop
where we always used to hang out. I walk down the streets, past the park, past his
office building, past the run-down house where I used to live, and I reach the
coffee shop. I head inside and my eyes immediately turn to the corner booth
where me and the gang always used to sit.
�� There�s
someone there.
�� Suddenly I
am lost, drowning in the depths of the Pacific Ocean and frozen in the ice, and
I simply stare into those blue eyes. I can�t even move. I can�t even speak. I
just stare.
�� Make inu��
You snarl. Your blue eyes shine like ice and appear just as cold, frozen in
time with your hatred for me.
�� I open my
mouth, although I don�t know how. No sound comes out though.
�� You close
your eyes and open them again. You stare at me, hopefully.
�� My feet
propel me forward and within a few seconds, I�m sitting on the bench across
from you. �I�ve been looking for you.�
�� Why?�
�� I wanted
to tell you I was sorry for not saying goodbye before I left.� Why did I just
say that? I�ve never been sorry for that.
�� You
bastard��
�� I nod. �I
know. I am everything you always said I was. I am just a stupid mutt��
�� You sniffle
slightly and run your hand through your brown locks. Your hair�s longer than I
remember and shaggier. You mustn�t have cut it since I left. �You promised
you�d never leave.�
�� I know.�
�� You left
me.�
�� I�m
sorry.� I am. I truly am sorry I left you. It was the hardest thing I ever did.
That�s why I couldn�t say good-bye! I knew you�d ask me to stay, and I wouldn�t
be able to leave.
�� You said
forever.� You look at me with hurt in your cold eyes.
�� That�s why
I came back.�
�� You stand
up. �Let�s go.�
�� I stand up
and follow you out of the coffee shop. Neither of us says a word as we climb
into your car, and you start the engine. �Are we going to fight again?�
�� If you
want to fight with me.�
�� That�s all
we�ve ever known. Never friends. Not quite enemies. Rivals at everything,� I
say as I watch the town fly by.
�� Have you
fought with anyone since me?� You glance at me uneasily. You�ve never looked at
me like that.
�� Never the
way I fought with you. I miss it, you know� fighting with you. It�s always so
exhilarating. It�s such a rush,� I say truthfully, �Have you fought with anyone
the way we used to?�
�� No� No one
could compare to your passion and hatred.� You smile. This isn�t the smirk you
normally wear. You�re actually smiling. Wow! You�re so gorgeous!
�� You pull
the car up in front of the largest house I�ve ever seen in Japan, and we both
climb out. We head inside and up a long staircase. We follow the hall and enter
a quiet room.
�� I remember
this room. We would always fight in your bedroom because the walls were
soundproof, and no one would ever know how much we were hurting each other. I
turn to smirk at you as you lock the door. �Do you remember how it goes?�
�� You smirk
back at me. �Of course I do, make inu!�
�� I growl.
Yes, I know it�s true. I am a dumb dog, but I do so hate it when you call me
that. It�s your voice that always makes those words sound so much more
meaningful. �Don�t call me a fucking dog, you rich bastard!�

�� Sometime in that river a piece of my broken dream floated
by.

�� You drop your
coat to the floor and backhand me roughly.
�� I fall to
the floor and glare at you as I growl deep in my throat.
�� But you
act just like a sniveling mutt! On the floor at your master�s feet!�
�� You would
never be my master, son of a bitch! And I�m not a mutt!� I drop my jacket and
lunge at you.
�� Remember
the day we started fighting like this?� You grab my shirt and fling me into the
wall, ripping my shirt clean off me.
�� Of course
I do. It was when I found out who you really are!� I grab your shirt and yank
it to try to rip it, but you duck out of it, sparing the black cloth and
revealing your bare chest.
�� You
promised you wouldn�t tell anyone about what happened that day.� You shove me
onto the floor and fall on top of me when I kick your legs out from beneath
you.
�� I bite your
neck just enough to leave a mark but not to draw blood. �I did promise you
that.�
�� You punch
me in the stomach. �You broke that promise.�
�� When?� My
eyes widen as my pants are ripped from my body when you try to lift me upside
down. I fall flat on my tailbone. �Ow��
�� They found
out. They pitied me. You know how I hate pity. Admit that you told them.� You
glare at me.
�� I shake my
head and lunge at you, grabbing your knees and accidentally pulling your pants
from your legs. �I don�t remember doing so.�
�� Make inu!�
Your hand grips my hair and pulls me up to look into your face. �You deny it
still?�
�� I cannot
admit to it. I do not wish to lie to you, but I do not recall ever telling them
about that day. If I did tell them, then I am incredibly sorry, but I can�t
tell you that I did it.� I punch you in the stomach. �You rich, pretentious
bastard!�
�� You shove
me roughly onto your bed. You scream, �I HATE YOU!�
�� I HATE
YOU!� I scream back as loud as I can.
�� Your eyes
widen as you pin my arms above my head. Your breath hitches. �You promised
you�d always hate me.�
�� I look away
from your blue eyes. I can�t stand to look into those frozen waters anymore. �I
know.�
�� But now
you don�t.� One of your hands moves down my body, teasing me lightly and
awakening my desires. You spread my legs apart.
�� I can�t
help it.�
�� I hate
you!� you exclaim as you force yourself into me.
�� I scream in
pain.
�� You
promised to protect me.�
�� Suddenly, I
realize you aren�t moving. You�re waiting for my body to adjust to the hardened
member impaling me. �And I have.�
�� You scowl
and pound into me once, knowing full well that I haven�t had enough time to
adjust. �Bull shit!�
�� There were
circumstances you didn�t understand�� I look at you with pleading eyes.
�� Bull shit!�
You don�t sound so confident. The puppy dog eyes never fail!
�� Don�t
believe me. I don�t care anymore.� I turn away. �He was going to kill you. My
dad� he was going to kill you, and everyone� I had to leave. If I was gone,
he�d have no reason to hurt anyone to hurt me.�
�� You blink at my revelation.
�� I nod my
head to you, a signal that I�m ready for my punishment.
�� I hate you
for leaving me!� You pound into me roughly and start a hard, fast pace.
�� I was
young! I followed my dream!�
�� You left
me alone!�
�� I�m
sorry!� I cry. Tears form in my eyes and fall down onto the satin sheets.
�� You hurt
me!� Tears fall onto my face. You�re crying too, but you still pound me roughly
into the mattress.
�� I wipe your
tears away. �I didn�t mean to.�
�� I hated
you!� You look down at me and I can see it�s true. You did hate me, very much.
�� I hated
you too!� I hope my eyes show my hatred just as well as yours did.
�� You left
me when I needed you most.�
�� My eyes
widen. I�m shocked. You needed someone? �I didn�t know.�
�� Now when I
no longer need you, now you return.� Your tears fall again.
�� I bite my
lip and wipe your eyes. �Should I have stayed gone?�
�� Yes� then
I could always hate you.� You pound into me harder, your actions becoming more
desperate. How exactly are we able to hold a conversation while having sex?
�� I can
leave again� and never come back.� I know I promised the others I wouldn�t, but
for you, I would break that promise like I have so many others.
�� Your eyes
widen desperately. They look like the Pacific Ocean, inviting coolness and not
icy death. �No! You can�t!�
�� Why not?�
I must be giving you that confused puppy expression because you start to caress
me gently as you try to satisfy our sexual needs.
�� You smile.
�Because I need you again! I don�t hate you anymore! I love you!�
�� I try to
push you off me. �You what?�
�� I love
you.� You grin as you slam into me again, and I scream in pleasure.
�� How can
you?� I gasp.
�� How can I
not?�
�� I still
hate you.�
�� You close
your eyes. �I can live with that.�
�� Why would
you want to?� I scream as you hit that special spot within me again. How are
we having a conversation during sex? Normally, I could never even think beyond
what you�re doing. Oh, and what are those hands doing? Wow� that feels so good.
�� Because�
even if you hate me, then you care for me because hate is an emotion of caring.
Knowing you care for me in some way is enough for me.� You look sad.
�� You
deserve better.� I glare at you.
�� You glare
back. �I deserve you.�
�� I hate you
more than anything in the world.�
�� You moan in
pleasure. �Really?�
�� More than
anything else in the universe.� I nod my head to confirm.
�� I see.�
You�re getting closer to your orgasm. Are you even listening to me?
�� I pull you
into a soul-crushing kiss, our first kiss ever. �Because I love you more than
you can ever know.�
�� You smirk
at me as you release deep inside me. We both shake from the effects of our
orgasm. �I know you do.�
�� Normally,
we�d fight and have the roughest sex in the world, like we just did, then we�d
yell out how much we hate each other. You�d shove me away. I�d smirk and lay
down on your chest to listen to your heartbeat.
�� This time,
you pull me close to you so that my head rests on your chest. You whisper, �I
love you, puppy.�
�� I lift my
head and look into your eyes. My eyes widen as I see a reflection in the
pupils, the person who I saw back in Hollywood� the person who I didn�t know,
I�ve known all this time. It was me. The feminine, long blond hair, the brown
eyes, the masculine-built body. All this time I was yelling at myself and
wondering why I didn�t know the person I was talking to. I smile and kiss my
lover, my hater, my friend, my enemy, my rival, my everything. �I love you,
master.�
�� Some things
change. Some things stay the same.
�� We always
fought during sex. We always said we hated we other. It was our way of getting
what we needed. We had hormones like every other teenager, and we used each
other. We always said we hated each other, but we never did. We were always in
love, but we couldn�t admit it. It was so much easier to say I hate you and
then screw like rabbits. It would have been harder to say I love you and then
make love because we�d want it to be special and tender, and we were never like
that. We�ll always fight now and screw like rabbits, but we can say �I love
you� now instead of �I hate you�.
�� Some things
change. Some things stay the same.
�� My sister
was always the most important thing to me. She died though, and I had to look
to something else. You are now my something else, my everything important in
the world.
�� Some things
change. Some things stay the same.
�� You
destroyed the arcade where I used to hang out because you couldn�t stand to
have it remind you of the love you lost. Now, we�re going to rebuild a new
arcade where we can hang out. And I get to be the manager and chase after rowdy
children!
�� Some things
change. Some things stay the same.
�� This town
isn�t the one I knew before I left. Buildings have changed. Businesses have
been destroyed. A pet store, specializing in puppies, rests where my favorite
toy and game shop always was. I need to get a new puppy, a golden Labrador of
course. Its fur will match my hair, and its eyes will match mine as well. I do
look like a puppy, a little inu.
�� Some things
change. Some things stay the same.
�� People grow
up. People mature. People start families of their own.
�� The more
things change, the more they really seem the same.

�� Sometime in that river a piece of my broken dream floated
by.
�� The promises I couldn�t keep have one by one caused pain.

�� Itsu ka ano kawa de nagarete�ta mono wa kowareta yume no
kakera datta ne
�� Mamorarenakatta yakusoku ni ichiichi kizu tuite mitari
shite�ta n da.
- - Immature � Ayumi Hamasaki
- 1
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