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Twelfth Night... Or Not	By : thelostogg Category: Yu-Gi-Oh > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 4240 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or any of its characters, and I do not make any money from these ramblings. No one technically owns this plot anymore, although it's been done to death by others both more and less talented than me.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
Title:� Twelfth
Night�� or not
Author:� the_lost_ogg�
Genre:� Yu-Hi-Oh Yaoi, AU, Humour
Pairings:� S/J, others
eventually
Spoilers:� None
Disclaimer:� I do not
own Yu-Gi-Oh or any of the characters contained in
this story and do not profit from writing this in anyway.� Technically, the plot isn�t mine either,
although it is considered public domain by virtue of being really old and
sufficiently mutilated by my imagination.�
Summary:� Jou gets roped into working as a florist and finds himself
delivering gifts and love notes between two powerful businessmen, one of whom
he�s madly in love with himself.�
Disguises are involved.�

Chapter 1

Shizuka huffed as she shoved the
large cardboard box in her arms on the clear glass countertop.� She had to climb onto a stool to open the top
of the box and begin unpacking the new leaded crystal vases.� She dusted tiny specks of Styrofoam off of
one of the vases and carefully set it into a mirrored display case behind the
counter.�
�Oh, that is too fabulous!� Mai Valentine shrieked.�
�They are pretty,� Shizuka agreed,
carefully counting the other wrapped vases in the box and marking them off on
an inventory log.
Mai wandered around Shizuka�s new
flower shop, poking at the newly-filled arrangements of roses, lilies, orchids,
and carnations.� Shizuka
had arranged her displays according to the flowers appropriate for most major
life events.� The franchise and online
ordering system she had bought into offered specific arrangements, with
guaranteed types and quantities of flowers, but she preferred to create
original, tasteful arrangements for her own display shelves.� She had an entire case of baby roses in soft
pinks and blues, arranged in ceramic teddy bears and baskets near the front
door.� Classic funeral lilies in wreaths
and opaque containers were in a mirrored cooler in the far corner.� And, taking center stage in the glass display
cases beneath the counter and directly behind it, dramatic and colorful roses,
tied with even more dramatic ribbons, were arranged in the most romantic vases Shizuka could order.�
Throughout the store were adorable and convenient gifts for every
occasion.� Plush toys, crystal animals,
wind chimes, candies and gourmet chocolates, and� three shelves of stationary and greeting
cards filled the aisles.�
The bell on the front door chimed as an older woman with
dark auburn hair, pulled back in a severe bun, charged into the shop.�
�Any sign of him?� she asked, addressing both women.
�No, mother,� Shizuka said
quickly.�
�He hasn�t shown up,� Mai confirmed.�
Kawai Sakura seethed.�
�This is absolutely ridiculous.�
He cannot hide forever.�
�I don�t think he wants to be found, mother,� said Shizuka in a half-whisper.�
�He hates the idea of being forced into this��
�Oh, you worry too much Sweetie,� Mai grinned and flipped
her hair back over her shoulder.� �I am
crazy about your brother, and I know he�s really crazy about me.� This whole thing is for his own good.� He�s going to ruin his life, chasing after
other men.� Especially that other man.� It�s unnatural.� And if anybody can cure him, it�s me.�
�I just don�t think that it�s right,� Shizuka
insisted, unpacking another vase.� �You
can�t force someone to get married if they don�t want to.�
�Oh yes I can,� her mother insisted.� �It was my negligence that turned him against
the softer sex, I am sure.� If I had
known that leaving him with your father would make him turn out� turn out like
this�� Well, I thought he needed a father
in his life, a male role model.� Since I
was so horribly mistaken, it obviously falls to me to correct my mistake.� This wedding is the perfect way to do it.� And, even if this disease cannot be cured, at
least our family can maintain what little honor is left to us.� The sheer humiliation of my own son being�
homosexual��
�Well��
�We�re just trying to make sure that Jou
ends up happy,� Mai snickered.
�I know.�� Shizuka set the second vase in the display.� �I need to open the store in a few
minutes.� If I see him, I will let you
know.� Have you thought about asking his
friend Yugi?� Or Honda?�
�Yugi and Anzu said they haven�t
seen him in two weeks now,� Mai said with a pout.� �Maybe I�ll go visit Honda and see if he�s
there.�
�Shizuka,� her mother stared at
her for a long moment.� �If he comes to
you for help, do call.� We all want
what�s best for him, after all.�
�Yes, mother.�
Her mother nodded coolly and followed Mai out of the
shop.� Shizuka
watched them stroll down the sidewalk, then hoisted another box on to the
counter and quickly unpacked two dozen small boxes of gourmet chocolate
truffles, restocking a display near the cash register and putting the rest on
to a shelf behind the counter.�
About two minutes later, Mai walked back along the sideway,
crossing in front of the shop again.� She
waved through the window.�
Shizuka waved back.�
�They know you�re here,� Shizuka
said, without looking down.� �They know
you don�t have anywhere else to go.�
Jou, laying on his back and
pressed as close to the counter as he could manage without squeezing into the
display case itself, tried to shrug.�
�You know, mom�s right about one thing,� said Shizuka, as she continued to stack the chocolates.� �This is ridiculous.� Seriously, Jou, you
need to find some backbone and just tell them off once and for all.�
�You think I haven�t tried?� Jou
cried, without getting up.� �Mom is scary,
but I never thought Mai would manage to convince her to go through with
this!� It�s been eight months now and Mai
just wont take a hint!� You don�t know what she�s like, �Zuka!� She just
insinuated herself into my life!� She
showed up every day at my job, she broke into my apartment, she even took
Budapest!� I told her I was gay to try
and get rid of her, I didn�t think she�d use it to convince mom I needed to be
cured!�
�She took your cat?�
�Yes!�
�Why would she take your cat?�
�Does she need a why?�
She�s a psycho!�
�I don�t know, Jou,� Shizuka wiped the dust from the cardboard boxes off of the
counter top then strolled to the front of the store and turned the sign in the
window, announcing that the shop was open for the day.� �I think you�re reading too much into
things.� She just doesn�t seem like a
stalker.�
�She made me have dinner with her by threatening to have
Budapest put to sleep!�
�And did you have dinner with her?�
�Her and mom, yeah.�
Mom already had the engagement ring, sized and everything.�
�That was last Friday, just before you showed up here?�
�Yeah.� I don�t even
know if he�s alive or if she really did have him put down��
�Jou, you can�t keep hiding
here.� You�re going to have to say no to
them sooner or later, and, honestly, I�m getting sick of seeing you jump behind
the counter every time you catch sight of your own reflection in one of the
display mirrors.�
Jou rubbed his hands over his eyes
in exhaustion.� He was getting sick of
diving for cover every time he caught a glimpse of blonde hair, too.� But he couldn�t face Mai when she had managed
to get his mom on her side.� Together,
they were terrifying.�
�Plus, I�m spending a fortune just keeping you fed.�
�I gave you my debit card, didn�t I?��
�And you only had enough money in your account for a week�s
worth of groceries.� What do you intend
to pay me back with since you�ve lost your job?�
Jou didn�t have an answer for
that.� �Has she passed by again?�
�Not yet.�
�Damn it.� I really
need to get up and use the bathroom.�� Jou heard Shizuka chuckle
somewhere in the front of the shop.� �I
have been trying to help you out around the shop,� he said miserably.� �And if I could go back to work without
wondering if she�s going to go nuts and skin Budapest, I would.�
�You do have quite a knack for it,� Shizuka
admitted, walking around the counter again.�
She adjusted a subtle but elegantly displayed iris in a slender purple
vase on the counter.�� I need a delivery
person just as much as help in the store, though.� Good morning!� She called cheerfully as the
door chimed open, announcing the arrival of her first customer.� �Oh, there goes Mai,� Shizuka
whispered to Jou.�
�She�s gone.� You might really
never be able to leave the store again, so you definitely can�t help with
deliveries,� she giggled.
She strolled out into the shop as Jou
sat up and climbed to his feet.�
Jou hurried into the back of the
store and up a small flight of stairs to the flat his sister had moved into
only three months before, when she first leased the building.� He had to find some way to get Mai to leave
him the hell alone.� First, though, he
had to find some way to walk out the door without having to hide every time he
caught a glimpse of blonde hair.�
Despite his best intentions, Jou
wandered over the Shizuka�s couch and spent most of
the day watching television.� When Shizuka�s phone rang, he ignored it.�
When he heard Shizuka�s voice on
the stairs late in the afternoon, he hid in the closet in her bedroom.� Shizuka came
upstairs calling for him, though, so he figured it couldn�t be Mai she was
talking to.� Jou
peeked out from his hiding place behind the row of Shizuka�s
hanging clothes.�
�Come on out,� Shizuka insisted,
strolling into the bedroom with Yugi following close behind her.�
�Yugi?� Jou exclaimed.� �Thank you, thank you, thank you �Zuka!�� Jou stumbled out of the closet, falling over in a tangle of
Shizuka�s dresses.�
He stood up, trying to make sense of the mismatched frilly prints and
lace that seemed to be trying to strangle him.�
�Have you spent that last two weeks hiding in Shizuka�s closet, Jou?� Yugi
asked, sitting down on Shizuka�s bed with an ease
that made Jou glare at his friend.� Yugi noticed the glare and just rolled his
eyes.�
�No!� I�ve been hiding
in the flower shop, mostly.� Mai�s
getting really determined, though, so I just stayed up here today.� What the hell?� Jou
gasped, as a particularly determined lace hem tangled in his legs and sent him
sprawling on the ground.� �Geez, �Zuka, how the hell do you move around in these things?�
�I don�t generally wear four of them at once,� she explained
carefully.
Yugi giggled and gawked at him as he tried to get up.� �You know,� Yugi smiled, �your hair has
gotten long enough that you could actually pull that look off.�
�Ha ha.� Get this
thing off of me before I end up stepping on it and tear it to shreds, will ya?�
Shizuka shook her head and began
to detangle her clothes and re-hang each of her dresses.� As she slipped the last dress back on the hanger,
she held it up under her brother�s chin and eyed him critically.� �That�s no
fair.� My clothes aren�t supposed to look
better on you than they do on me.�� She
slipped the dress back into the closet and shut the door.� �I told Yugi he could come upstairs to help
me talk some sense into you.� I�m going
to make some tea, first.� Make yourself
at home, Yugi.� Jou
certainly has.�
�So what�s going on?� Yugi got straight to the point.� �I thought you liked Mai.� She finally decides to take you seriously and
now you�re hiding in your sister�s closet��
�I never wanted her to take me seriously,� Jou admitted.� Jou sat down next to his best friend and buried his face in
his hands.� �She showed up at my place
and practically raped me!� I told her I
wasn�t into her, and she just can�t get it through her head.� I even told her I was gay just so she would
back off, but that sort of backfired��
�You told her you were gay?� Yugi asked, pouting ever so
slightly.�
�I would have told her I was only into animals if I thought
it�d get her out of my life!� It didn�t
work, though.� She actually tracked down
my mom and told her that I was gay!� Now
they�ve made it their personal mission to cure
me by getting me married and settled down.�
�When�s the wedding?� Yugi joked.
�Three weeks from now!�
You should have been invited, at least.�
Yugi giggled again and shook his head.� �Haven�t received a thing.� Although, since Mai knows I am gay, she
probably thinks I�d be a bad influence on you.�
Still, Jou, you shouldn�t lie about something
like that.� If she asked you to prove it,
you�d be in a bit of trouble.�
�Well�� Jou swallowed hard.� �She
did.� I��
I told her I couldn�t because I was in love with somebody. Somebody who
would never possibly be gay, and who�d never look at me twice if he was. �It was so stupid, but at the time it seemed
like a good idea at the time.�
�I don�t know,� Yugi shrugged.� �If Honda was gay, he�d be all over you.� He�s been after Shizuka
for years, after all.�
�I didn�t say it was Honda,� Jou
looked away from his smaller friend.� �I�� I kind of told her that I was in love with
Kaiba.�
Yugi�s high pitched squeal echoed through Shizuka�s bedroom.� �And
she believed you!� You know, she might
just be going through all this trouble as a way of calling your bluff.� You should just tell her the truth, Jou.�
Jou tried to think of something to
say, some way to make a joke out of everything and brush it off.� He couldn�t even look Yugi in the eye.�
Yugi caught sight of his serious expression and his laughter
quickly faded.� �Ah, Jou�� Oh.�
You know, you could have said something.�
Jou shrugged and turned farther
away.� �It�s not like I don�t like girls,�
he argued.� �I like girls just fine.� I just don�t like Mai.� And Kaiba, well, he�s the only guy I�ve ever
thought about like that, and I know he�d never, ever be into something like
that, so it�s not like it�s ever mattered.�
�Oh, Jou,� Yugi�s large amythest eyes widened, �I wish you would have said something.� I know Kaiba is bi.� I have to agree that he�d probably never be
interested in you, but he does occasionally swing both ways.� Now he�s pretty much off the market. �Or he will be as soon as Otogi
gives in.�
�Otogi?� Dice boy and Kaiba?� You�re kidding!�
Yugi shook his head seriously.� �Kaiba thinks Otogi�s
playing hard to get, since he keeps blowing him off, but Kaiba�s
never been one to give up something he wants.�
�How do you know?�
�He told me so,� Yugi explained.� �I help him out with game testing every now
and then, and we talk a bit.� I guess Otogi�s acting all cold, now, though.� He wont even talk
to Kaiba directly, so Kaiba�s been stuck sending
flowers and notes and stuff through Shizuka�s
shop.� I don�t have the heart to tell him
that Otogi only accepts the gifts because he thinks Shizuka is hot.�
�What?� Jou roared, jumping up
from the bed.� �Hey, Shizuka!�
Shizuka returned, untying an apron.� She cast Jou a
harassed glare.� �What is it this time?�
�You never told me you delivered love notes and shit for
Kaiba!�
�You never asked,� she said passively.� �Not that it�s any of your business, but I�d
rather not.� Every time I go over to Otogi Ryuji�s shop, that sleaze ball hits on me.� I wouldn�t mind so much if he were a normal
guy, but he�s so girly that I feel like I should be chatting with him about
makeup instead of shoving his hands off my�hey!�
Jou get back here!�
�Not a chance in hell am I going to let that freak treat my
baby sister that way!� He might have beat
me at Duel Monsters, but I�m going to kill that little shit!�
�No you are not.�
Kaiba is one of my best customers,� Shizuka
explained calmly.� �Otogi
accepts his gifts as long as I deliver them, and if Otogi
stops accepting his gifts, I can kiss my tiny profit margin goodbye.�
�But he can�t treat you like that!�
�Sit back down or I swear I will tell Mai you�re here,� Shizuka threatened him seriously.� �You may have let your impulsiveness and
temper ruin your life, but you are not going to ruin my shop just as its
finally getting off the ground!� I told
you I�m trying to find a cute delivery girl who wont
mind the attention. �Until then, I will
put up with it and you will keep your mouth shut and not destroy my business!�
�Besides, Otogi definitely prefers
guys,� Yugi said confidently.�
�You wouldn�t know it from the way he acts,� Shizuka muttered darkly.�
Yugi bit his lip and blushed furiously.� �Oh, trust me, he prefers guys.� Multiple� um� guys�� He likes to be in the middle.�
�You didn�t?� Did you?�
Yugi shrugged.� �I don�t
usually talk about things like that,� he said with a quiet blush.� �It�s kind of private.� Plus, I always figured it would freak you
out.�
Jou stared at his friend, trying
his best not to fidget.� �Yeah, that�s
fair,� he agreed.� �Alright, I wont kill him.� But
you can�t take any more of Kaiba�s deliveries over to
him.� Hire a courier or something,
instead.��
�I can�t,� Shizuka said
simply.� �Thanks to the leach I�ve been supporting
for the last few weeks, I�m dead broke.�
Plus, Otogi�s picky about who he�ll accept
deliveries from.� Kaiba has tried
couriers, and Otogi just kicks them out, or closes
the Black Clown every time they show up.�
�But he uses it as an excuse to feel you up!�
�Yeah, so?�
�So you can�t go back there!�
Shizuka rolled her eyes and went
back to the kitchen.�
Yugi hopped up from the bed and rummaged through Shizuka�s closest innocently.� He pulled out the frilly lace dress Shizuka had just put away.�
�You know,� he eyed the dress with a bright, cheerful smile, �If Mai�s
looking for you, and Shizuka�s looking for a cute
girl to work in the shop and handle deliveries, I think I might be able to help
you out.�
�What?� You want to
play dress up and practice flower arranging now?� Jou
joked.�
�I wasn�t thinking about me�� Yugi held the dress under Jou�s chin and examined
him critically.� �Add an apron, change
your hair color to match Shizuka�s, and I think you�d
be an adorable florist.� And you�d
definitely distract Otogi from your sister.�
�What!��
�You could say you�re her cousin or something.� The family resemblance is obvious
enough.� If you kept your hair light, I
think it would be a bit too obvious, but as a red head�� Oh, this could be too much fun!�
�You know, that smile gets kind of creepy when your eyes
turn red.�
�What have you got to lose, Jounouchi?� Shizuka said you
can�t even leave her apartment at the moment, since Mai is camped out across
the street.�
�What?�� Jou stumbled over the corner of Shizuka�s
bed and peeked through the curtains.�
Sure enough, and expensive purple sports car was parked outside the shop
across the street.� Jou
couldn�t see much of the driver, but he could see a bit of blonde hair and a
lot of cleavage.� �Oh fuck.� You really think I�d need an apron?�
�If you want to look like a florist, yeah.� Of course, if you�d rather distract Otogi as a guy, I�ve got some things in my closet that
might look cute on you.� Blonde hair and black
leather� would even make Kaiba notice
you.�
Jou sputtered and blushed. ��Hey Sis, do you have an extra apron?��
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Twelfth Night... Or Not