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Not This Time	By : NihilEtNemo Category: Yu-Gi-Oh > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 5238 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh!, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 9
- 10
- 11
Chapter Ten � Dreams, Cont.
Yami�s POV

Seto stays in my
arms for quite a long time, but as soon as I yawn � once, accidentally, and
only because it�s been a long day � he immediately removes himself.

�You�re right,� he
says, though I didn�t say anything. �It�s getting late. Maybe you should go to
bed.�

�I�m not going
unless you�re coming with me.�

He says nothing,
just takes my hand and pulls me up from the couch, then releases it and leads
me from the room, obviously expecting me to follow. I have little problem doing
so, knowing that he�s taking me back to his room. Or better yet � I smile � our room.

Once again I am
struck by the monastic simplicity of his bedroom, and I just stand there
looking at it again as he closes the door behind us. White walls, blue bed,
white curtains, white bathroom, white everything, unless it�s clear or blue. So
unlike Seto� or, so unlike the Seto we all normally see�

�What?� he asks,
sounding almost defensive. I realize I�ve been staring,
and smile at him to reassure him. He shouldn�t feel defensive over this; it�s
only a room.

�It�s nothing; its just nothing like what I�d expect.�

He shrugs.
�Sorry.� I wonder why his instinct is to apologize, and decide that for the
moment I don�t want to know. He can tell me about this life of his later� right
now, my only thought it sleep. And, preferably, sleep with him beside me, in my
arms, where he is supposed to be, where he hasn�t been able to be for so long.
I think we both need that, before anything else can
happen. One night of sleep, how things are supposed to be.

I kiss him
lightly and open my bag to find something to sleep in. �I�ll help you unpack
tomorrow,� he says, and I smile at him again, before frowning as I notice him
just watching, not get ready himself.

�Aren�t you
coming?�

He looks
uneasily at the bed. Have his eyes always been this expressive, and I just
never saw it before? Or is this new, and only for me? �I�d rather��

I swiftly change
my shirt, then peel myself out of my leather pants and pull on the pajamas I�ve
had since I started living with Yugi in my own body; red silk. I like them, and
Yugi always said they suited me, but I find to my disappointment that Seto
isn�t even looking at me. I don�t like to feel ignored� I kiss him lightly to
get his attention back, then sit on the bed.

�Nothing has to
happen that you don�t want to happen, Seto,� I tell him. �In fact, it�s
probably best if nothing did yet. I just want to sleep with you tonight.� I pat
the bed encouragingly.

He shakes his
head slightly, as though I�ve misunderstood what he meant, but he goes to his
white dresser and pulls out his own silk pajamas, light blue, like the accents
in his room. I wonder which came first� his affinity for that particular shade of
blue, or his love of the Blue Eyes� One almost had to engender the other,
though I don�t know which.

�Give me a
moment,� he says quietly, then goes into the bathroom. I hear water running as
he brushes his teeth, and when he returns he�s also taken the opportunity to
change. He has a beautiful body, but he must be shy about showing it to me,
especially as every button of his pajamas is fastened. I hope he gets over that
soon, because he really is beautiful� I can�t help but think that I can�t wait
until he is comfortable enough with us and our past lives that we can make up
for all the lives we weren�t able to be together�

�I�ll be right
back,� he says without looking at me. �I have to tell Mokuba good night.� And
he leaves before I can answer him. I wonder what�s on his mind. I hope he isn�t
concerned about our sleeping arrangements, because I would be hurt if he didn�t
trust me. I�m not going to molest him in the middle of the night, and if he
thinks anything like that, I�m rather insulted. He should know that he is safe
with me � safe from everything, everyone. I wouldn�t hurt him, or pressure him
into anything he doesn�t want, or force him to do anything. He should know
that. I just want to be with him, to have him near me. That�s all.

This room� it makes
me shudder a little. Is this really what Seto is like on the inside, so
understated and plain? I hope not. He�s magnificent, and always has been� I
don�t want anyone to have ever hurt him badly enough to turn him into something
like this room. I decide that as soon as possible, this room is getting
redecorated, if he�ll allow it. Something to show what he�s
really like. He�s beautiful, inside and out, and he deserves a beautiful
room�

I slide between
the sheets as I wait for him. No such thing as cotton for Seto� silk all the
way. And pale blue, of course. I remember, vaguely, thousands of years ago,
when cotton was the best there was, and we nobles were pleased with ourselves
for having the best of it. Things have changed a lot� I wonder suddenly if maybe
things gave changed too much. Maybe Seto was right and I wrong when he was
worrying about all the effects any relationship between us would have� Or maybe
one of us has changed too much, and this won�t work�? No� I believe that now
that were have finally and permanently found each
other, we will still be as perfect for each other as we were on that night of
our first separation several thousand years ago. Nothing will stand in our way
now� nothing�

I am almost
asleep when Seto returns. I think he thinks I am asleep, for he looks at me for
a moment with a worried expression, then he shuts off the light and I feel him
beside me. I wraps my arms around him, and I am almost
sure I hear a faint echo of a thought, of one of his thoughts.

�Maybe it won�t happen tonight��

I kiss him
lightly, as he molds himself to fit my somewhat smaller body perfectly, then I
fall quickly into a deep sleep�

Something
strikes me, and I feel myself falling, still half asleep. What�s going on? I
hit the carpet, with my head, of course, then the rest of me follows,
and I sit up, trying to remember where I am and figure out what�s going on at
the same time. I hear someone moaning quietly; I realize that I�m in Seto�s
bedroom, the it is Seto I hear, and my heart leaps into
my mouth. I know Seto has many enemies; has he been attacked by one? I swiftly
scramble to my feet and fumble for a light, until I find it and turn it on.

I realize that Seto
hasn�t been attacked; he�s in the grip of a nightmare. He is the one who hit
me, in his sleep; even turning on the light did no more than make him flinch. I
doubt this is a dream of any of our past lives together, because I would
probably dream it as well. No� it is from this life, and I can�t share in that
pain with him.

I sit on the bed
again and pull him into my arms, trying to soothe him. He struggles against me;
he�s stopped moaning, but I can still see him mouthing words. The word �no�
comes up a lot. It must be his stepfather who hurt him this badly; it�s the
same every time. That�s why he needs comforted and protected every time,
because he�s been hurt so badly by those he trusted in the past� it�s hard work
to love a man like Seto.

�Wake up, love,�
I say to him quietly; it has no effect. He�s so deep in this dream� �Seto, wake
up. It�s only me.� I try to comfort him by touching him gently, trying to let
him know it�s me, that it�s safe to wake up, but he flinches away from my
touch. At that moment I want to kill the man that made Seto afraid to be
touched, not only for his sake, but for mine as well. Robbing me of the
privilege of touching my love� If Gozaburo did not die in the virtual world,
then I will hunt him down and make him pay for this. I don�t know what happened
to Seto� but I know he caused it, and I know it hurt him badly. He doesn�t
deserve this.

His dream takes
a turn for the worse. He�s crying now, in his sleep, and the sight brings tears
to my eyes as well. Seto Kaiba does not cry� but he is. He�s in my arms, crying
in his sleep, because some bastard hurt him� �Seto, it�s
okay, he�s not here, wake up love�� Maybe, just maybe, the sound of my voice
can bring him back� Maybe I can cut through his dreams, bring him back to me� I
just want to help�

He�s still
trying to get away from me. If I let him go, will he accidentally hurt himself?
I don�t want to let go of him while he�s still like this; I feel like he needs
me, but holding onto him is hurting him� If only I could wake him up, get him
away from his shadowy tormentors� I kiss him lightly, prepared to let him go
but trying to break though his dreams, all the while thinking please come back
to me, Seto� please come back�

He shoves me
away, almost causing me to fall off the bed again, and struggles into a sitting
position, as he screams �Please, don�t!� He sounds very young�

I realize that
he woke up when he looks back at me, panting and sweating from his dream, the
tears still on his cheeks� in fact, another falls while I watch. Then he takes
a deep breath and wipes his eyes.

�I�m sorry � did
I hurt you?� he asks quietly, helping me sit up again.

�What did he do
to you?� I demand, ignoring his question.

He just shakes
his head and, seeing that I�m unhurt, turns around, hugging his knees to his
chest and looking blankly at the floor, putting his back to me.

�Seto� please.� I put my arms around him and pull his head
back to rest on my shoulder; he�s yielding and pliant, but uncooperatively
silent. �I want to know��

�I don�t want to
talk about it.�

�You need to
talk about it. Look at you � you�re crying. I know you, Seto. I�ve known you
for thousands of years. You�re hurting.�

�It�s in the
past.�

�Sometimes, Seto,
the past comes back.� He shudders; I should have chosen to word that more
carefully. I don�t want him to think of Gozaburo ever coming back� �You�ll feel
better if you tell me. What is it, Seto?�

�I doubt that, I
really do.�

�Please ��

He turns around
to look at me. �Yami, I don�t want to talk about it. Please don�t make me.� I
can see it in his eyes; if I keep pressing him, he will talk about it, but he�s
asking me plainly not to force him to do something like that� And how can I
refuse? I love him, and if he thinks it will hurt him to talk about it, how can
I make him?

�All right.� I kiss his forehead and hold him tightly. �I won�t
make you talk about it, but I still want to know.�

He hesitates, then says �Ask me in the morning.� I nod, and let him go so
that I can turn off the lamp and we can go back to sleep.

Somehow, though,
as I hold him tightly, comfortingly, I get the feeling that he�s not going to
sleep at all the rest of the night.
- 9
- 10
- 11
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