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In The Name Of Love	By : Rroselavy Category: Yu-Gi-Oh > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 15410 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh!, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 9
- 10
- 11
Title: In The Name Of Love (10/?)
Author: Rroselavy
Rating: NC-17
Pairing(s): Jou/Ryou (briefly), Malik/Ryou, Kaiba/Jou, Mokuba/Shizuka, Yami/Yugi, Honda/Otogi
Beta: Akuchan
Spoilers: None, AU
Disclaimer: I do not own or profit in any way from Yu-gi-oh!
Summary: For eight years he has scrupulously avoided the brunet, but now with the impending marriage of their siblings, Jounouchi Katsuya and Kaiba Seto are forced to come to terms with the feelings they've secreted away since adolescence.
A/N: Thanks to everyone who is following the story and leaving feedback -- anon, vixenia, kitkattcassy, Nancy, wiccan_otogi, Sammei, Kimikiumi, Terry, kirakun, maria, Leviathan, Darkwitch17, XaloneXalwaysX, Celestial Angel, DarkRoseDamael, Muzaki_Goddess, Wicabeth, silverfox, Millie Ishtar Motou and mistfairy. It may be a while before the next update, but I will be completing this fic by year's end.
CHAPTER 10
Jou sat at the bar next to Honda nursing a club soda, determined not to drink for a third night in a row, determined not to fall into the pattern of using alcohol as a crutch in the same way that his father had. It was late, but he'd promised to meet his best friend at their favorite watering hole after he'd finished his shift at Chez Pierre.
He knew to beg off would only prolong the inevitable. As Honda had intimated earlier, he had some serious explaining to do. And explaining had been something he'd been doing all day. It seemed everyone in the world that he knew had seen that goddamned picture and had to find out if it was true. He'd fielded calls from his mom, Shizuka and his father among others, the latter having a few choice words for how his 'homo boy' had embarrassed and disgusted him once again. They'd ended up in a shouting match and he'd had hung up on the old man. Fucking prick, Jou had fumed. As if ~he~ weren't a world-class embarrassment in his own right.
It had been a long day, but the end was not yet in sight. After working on his research, he'd met with Dr. Watanabe to discuss the progress he was making on his dissertation. There were still some details he needed to iron out before he would be ready to submit and defend it, but overall she was happy with how it was coming along.
When he left Honda, he would work on it for a while before dropping, exhausted, into bed. He was thankful for his busy schedule, thankful he could shelve the mixed emotions roiling through his mind until he was ready to face them.
His mentor had mentioned that Kaiba had called her to set up an initial consultation, explaining to her that he had obtained her number from Jou.
"Are you okay with me working with someone you know, Katsuya?"
"Yeah, I recommended ya, didn't I?"
"Do you think Kaiba Seto will be alright with our relationship?"
"I don't know. I was surprised Kaiba actually asked me for a referral. Ta tell ya the truth, he's not too keen on therapists. I think he has some trust issues."
"Well I'll be very upfront with him, and offer another referral if he's in the least bit uncomfortable. Have you given any thought to what I said about Aiko?"
"Umm, I don't know. As I told ya before, I don't think that I'm exactly parent material."
"Do you think she'd be better off living here until she reached majority?"
Jou shifted nervously from foot to foot before acknowledging Dr. Watanabe's point. "But the question is, can I handle being her parent? I don't exactly have the greatest role models ya know."
"Yes, but you have an opportunity here to set things right. I know you've had a difficult childhood, Katsuya, but I see how you are with her, and she is with you--it's more than a therapist-patient relationship. It's obvious you love her, and she is very attached to you. How would you feel if someone else fostered or even adopted her and you never got to see her again?"
He paled at her comments. He could live with Aiko staying at the orphanage where he'd be able to see her as often as he liked, even after his contract was done. In fact, he was looking forward to just spending time with her as an adult figure rather than as her therapist. But the idea that he might never be able to do that hit him like a body blow.
His mentor must have sensed his dismay because she added quickly "Not that the orphanage has had any serious inquiries. But Aiko is coming out of her shell--she's a bright girl and a gentle soul. I think it's only time before someone looking to raise a family notices what a special little girl she is."
Jou sighed in frustration. "But I don't even have a decent place for her to stay. I live in a one-room studio."
"Katsuya, do you think people who have babies wait until everything in their lives is perfect? If they did, the human race would have died out long ago. You can offer her a loving environment, all the rest--childcare, where she will sleep, where she will go to school--are things you can work out. There are many solutions, and a network of social services to help you choose the right ones."
She was right. Seeing Aiko's smile filled his heart with immense joy and he ached whenever he saw tears slip from her eyes. She'd had a terrible life and he'd do anything for her to make it better. The only thing truly holding him back from taking the step to become her parent was his own insecurity--he was afraid he would turn out useless and drunk, just like his father had. He'd spent his early adulthood checking his behavior against that of his old man's-comparing and contrasting the way he handled the obstacles of his own life to the way he'd observed his father's actions and reactions to the ones that had defined his. Logically, Jou knew that it was unlikely at this point for him to slide into the deep hole his father lived in, yet his immediate reaction to any situation outside his comfort zone was to doubt his own abilities.
"I just need some more time to think about it." He said finally. "It's a big commitment, bigger than any I've ever made. I want to be sure I can do it, because it wouldn't be fair to send her back if I made a mistake." He looked at his mentor and she smiled warmly at him.
"You know I would not have considered asking you if I didn't believe you could handle it."
"Thanks Dr. Watanabe, I just hope your confidence in me is well-placed."
"Trust me Katsuya, it is. I wouldn't have agreed to mentor you if I didn't see your almost unlimited potential. While you don't sell yourself short as a therapist, you've certainly made a fine art out of it in your personal life." Her appraisal of his behavior had left him speechless. It wasn't really anything he didn't know about himself, but he was unnerved to be read so thoroughly and accurately.
Afterwards he had gone to work his shift at Chez Pierre. There he pointedly ignored the whispers behind his back, deciding that the best strategy was to not offer any excuses unless someone had the nerve to ask, and since he was running the kitchen for the shift, no one wanted to irk him. No one wanted to be assigned the myriad of lousy jobs he could think of that needed to be done before the restaurant closed.
Jou did his best to listen to Honda as he excitedly went on about his plans with Otogi for a much-needed vacation. They were set to spend a few weeks traipsing about the islands of French Polynesia, and were leaving in a few days. Jou felt a pang of envy for his brunet friend; Honda and Otogi had been together since shortly after they'd met-Jou forlornly wished that he had years of a stable relationship under his belt.
He knew Honda had been studiously avoiding asking him about Kaiba, but Jou could tell that the topic was the 400-lb gorilla in the room. He sighed deeply, and Honda broke off his monologue in mid-sentence.
"Jou, would you rather I not go away?" He asked earnestly. "You know I'll stay with you if you really need me to."
"Yah" Jou snorted, shaking himself from his musings. "Like Otogi would let you off the hook. He'd kill me first." He smiled at his friend. "Really Hon, I'm gonna be okay over this."
Honda put his hand on Jou's shoulder. "Of course you are," he smirked. "From what I hear, you already have a certain CEO lined up."
"I knew ya couldn't refrain from bringin' that up!" Jou exclaimed in mock exasperation.
"Aww c'mon Bud, I waited at least ten minutes."
"Ok, well it ain't what it seems ta be in that picture." Jou defended. He saw Honda's eyebrows arch in disbelief and before the brunet could interject, he added "But I'd be lying to you if I told ya a certain gorgeous brunet didn't lock lips with me last night."
"He. Kissed. You." Jou could see his friend's face cloud with anger.
"Well technically, I kissed him and then he kissed me back."
"What're you, stupid or something?" Honda blurted, and then, as he saw the hurt look on Jou's face he modulated, "What I mean is, you just got out of a relationship, Jou. Now is ~not~ the time to get into another."
"Ya think I don't know that?" Jou replied defensively. "Ya really think I'm that stupid?"
"No, I just think that sometimes you think too much with your heart, not your head, especially when it comes to relationships." Jou knew Honda was right on that account.
"Look, I told him I'm not ready for it."
"You mean he asked you out?"
"No, not in so many words. He just made it clear that he was ... interested in me."
"Jou man, do you think he might be setting you up?"
"Nah, I thought a lot about that, and honestly, there's too much at stake. We're gonna be related. It would be totally fucked up for him ta play that kind of a game. Mokuba would kill him if Shizuka didn't get to him first. Y'know, Hon, it took a lot of balls for him ta lay it on the line like that."
"Yeah, well that's one thing he's never lacked."
Jou smiled at his friend as he was struck with a sudden realization. "You're okay with it otherwise, aren't you?"
"Whaddya mean?" Honda looked at him, confused.
"Well, you got upset because I'm not ready for a relationship, not because I would consider one with Kaiba." Honda took a deep quaff of his beer, and stared into the mirror behind the bar.
"C'mon Honda, spill." Jou eyed his friend through the mirror and waited impatiently for him to respond.
"Well at first I was royally pissed at the thought of that cold-hearted bastard taking advantage of you."
"Hon, it wasn't-"
"Will ya let me finish?" Jou sipped his club soda as Honda continued.
"But then when Otogi called me today and I told him about it, he pointed out that he'd always thought there was some kind of chemistry between you two that had nothing to do with ~hating~ each other. He said it was the way you used to check each other out when you thought the other wasn't looking."
They sat in silence for a few minutes then Honda persisted. "Then I began to think about it, and what he said began to make sense to me. No one's ever gotten under your skin the way Kaiba could, and no one ever riled up Moneybags like you. If you hated each other so much, ya just would have avoided each other. Instead you both ~looked~ for ways to be in each other's face."
"So Einstein, what about the last eight years, then?"
"Well, now that you mention it Bud, that did throw me." Honda smiled. "But I've known you a long time, I bet I know you better than anyone, and I remember very well all the time that you've spent avoiding your old man and your mom."
Jou felt the color drain from his face. He never thought his behavior was that obvious. But in the past day he'd learned that Kaiba, Dr. Watanabe and Honda all had accurate impressions of his actions and motivations. Christ, Otogi, who barely knew him back then had seen right through him. He sighed in defeat. There just wasn't any point to lying about it.
"You're right. I've been attracted to Kaiba since I met him. It wasn't love at first site, more like I just wanted to get into his pants. It's how I finally figured out that I was gay. But I thought he hated me, and I got tired of all his insults and all the humiliation. After high school it just became easier to avoid him than to mess with him all the time."
Honda nodded and waited patiently for him to continue. "But last night, some things happened ... I can't really go into details, but I think we have a shot at something, Hon. I really do. Now tell me how wrong I am. After all, you were right about Ryou."
Honda shrugged his shoulders. "I can't, Bro. The timing may not be right, but I have a gut feeling Rich Boy is."
"Shit Hon, I was hoping you'd give me a few good reasons to run in the other direction. I'm scared shitless right now."
"I think that's a good sign." Honda replied with a smirk. "We all know the trouble you get into when you're feeling cocky."
"Yeah, okay thanks." Jou grumbled. They drank in companionable silence for a while before Jou asked, "Hey, how did it go at your interview today?"
Honda smiled broadly. "I flipped him within ten minutes, the asshole. He was crying like a baby by the time I was through. That little girl will never have to look at his face again."
Relief washed over Jou. Aiko would not have to face her mother's killer in court. Now his therapy sessions with her could focus on her coming to terms with what she'd seen and experienced, without the specter of her inevitable appearance on the witness stand. It hit him though, that if he did decide to foster Aiko, he would no longer be her therapist, he would need to find someone else for her. He smiled to himself as he realized he was beginning to think like her father would.
"Hon, can I ask you a personal question?"
"Of course, Jou. Shoot."
"Have you an' Otogi ever thought about raising kids?"
Honda looked at him quizzically. "No, not really. We're having too much fun right now to tie ourselves down with a family. Maybe in a few years we'll settle down and think about it. Why do you ask?"
"Can you see me raising a kid?"
"I watched you practically raise Shizuka, that's not a stretch."
"I'm thinking about adopting Aiko." Jou said finally, and realized that he'd been holding his breath. He felt a weight lift from his chest at his proclamation.
Honda arched his brow. "Won't that put a damper on your career?"
"Not any more than it would any other single parent. I think I could work things out for the best."
"And how d'ya think Kaiba would feel? "You just got through telling me that he has the hots for you and you're going to complicate matters by bringing a kid into the mix?"
"This really doesn't concern him." Jou snapped, though at the same time he knew Honda had voiced a doubt that was nagging at the back of his mind.
"If you say so Jou," Honda mollified. "I'm just saying, you might want to let him know sometime before you get into a relationship with the guy. It's only fair."
Just another thing to add to the pile, Jou thought. He drained his drink and left a few bills on the bar. "Listen Hon, I've gotta get going. I still need do some work when I get home." He hugged Honda goodbye and wished him a bon voyage.
"Okay, I'll bring you something back from Tahiti."
"Yeah, how 'bout a houseboy?" Jou requested with a smirk as he left the bar.
It was well past two by the time he arrived at his apartment and settled down in front of his laptop. He was exhausted, but felt the need to follow up some comments Dr. Watanabe had made. He promised himself he would work no more than fifteen minutes.
He booted the computer then went into his bathroom to brush his teeth and wash up before bed. When he came back, he was staring into a blank grey screen.
"Fuck!" he exclaimed and then pressed the power button to reboot. Once again after a few minutes it hung on a grey screen. He felt panic beginning to set in. He needed the computer to work-besides having all his files, some of which he'd not backed up, he would never make his deadline if he needed to rely on the computers in the University library, and he couldn't trust a repair shop to have his computer fixed in time.
"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" He shouted over and over as panic washed over him. He begged the computer to start, tears of frustration and exhaustion leaking from his eyes.
"This can't be happening to me," he groaned finally. He was no longer thinking straight--in his exhausted, overwrought state he couldn't begin to tease out a solution to his computer's problem. He knew one thing and one thing only. The damn thing wouldn't boot and he was fucked. He was beside himself now, wracking his brain to figure out who could get him out of the jam that he was in. He knew of only one person who could solve his problem, and though he hated to impose, he reasoned this was an extraordinary circumstance. Before realizing the time and considering that he might wake Kaiba up, Jou dialed from memory the number to the estate, hoping against hope that the brunet would be willing and able to help him out.
- 9
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- 11
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In The Name Of Love