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Ambivalence	By : PupshitDesu Category: Yu-Gi-Oh > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 4882 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
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Chapter List
- 10
- 11
- 12
Two Weeks Later

Mokuba had invited Jonouchi to the Kaiba Mansion again. Jonouchi was a little concerned that he'd run into Kaiba there, since it was the weekend and he and Mokuba were playing a kind of fucked-up version of hide-and-seek. Jonouchi considered it fucked up because Mokuba knew the house by heart, whereas he had no clue what was going on and mostly ended up lost. Mokuba claimed it would just help him hide better. Jonouchi disagreed.
So he ended up wandering through the maze of a house, trying to navigate using just the Victorian clutter as landmarks. It wasn't helpful. He never ended up going back the same way, the place was so huge, and so many rooms opened with archways that he didn't know he was in a room until he found it was a dead end. He got dazed and frustrated, and saw no sign of Mokuba for a good twenty minutes. Eventually, he just looked for somewhere that looked fairly small and comfortable where he could hole up until the kid got worried about him.
He ducked into what looked like an office, a room that was more cluttered from use than poor decorative choices, and he shut the door behind him. If Mokuba wondered where he was, he could always text directions. Jonouchi was starting to feel agoraphobic in the mansion, and just wanted some time to get over it. It would be best to sit in a closed room.
It was after the door closed that he realized Kaiba was in the room with him. He looked irate, though whether it was because Jonouchi had really done something wrong or just because Jonouchi was there, he wasn't sure.
"Oh, great," Jonouchi grumbled, grabbing for the door handle, "Don't bother hissing at me, I'm leaving."
Or, so he thought. The door handle had disappeared into the metal panel to which it was attached, and was now just a circle flush to the rectangular surface. There wasn't even a keyhole that he could see. What exactly was he supposed to do with that? Had the thing broken? Had it fallen off on the other side and slid inward?
Jonouchi tried pushing on it to see if it would jiggle. It was firm. So Kaiba apparently had one of those fancy high-security door knobs.
"You gonna let me out?" He glanced at Kaiba, frustrated. This was about the worst thing that could have happened today.
"I was trying to fix the damn thing, you idiot," he said, rushing over to the door and knocking Jonouchi over to the side with his shoulders in the process. He had been working on it all morning, the wiring was rather faulty and he had to get it working again before he'd end up locking himself inside his study... Like what had now happened.
"See, now we're stuck. Someone's going to have to fix this from the outside, and the only person who has the authority to is Isono. Fucking idiot..."
"I'm an idiot? You're the one who paid for a security door knob that doesn't work, and stood in a room you couldn't escape if the door was shut," Jonouchi retorted. It wasn't as if he knew it was going to happen. Kaiba should have told Mokuba to stay out of that part of the house if he didn't want them wandering over there. Maybe then the kid wouldn't have played his slightly cruel hide-and-seek trick on Jonouchi.
"If Isono could fix it from the outside, why were you even in here standing behind the door? And you didn't even put the doorstop down to keep it open."
"Because most people have more sense than to just go waltzing into my private office," replied Kaiba, now going over to his desk to sulk, "I didn't need Isono's help. I had it almost working, the damn thing locks from the inside because Mokuba thought it would be a cute prank to play on me, and you triggered it. Good job there, blondie."
It was almost fixed. He just wanted to look through his manual again before trying to test it, in case it wasn't exactly what it should be. The thing was designed years ago, back in highschool, but it had been flawless until Mokuba got a hold of it.
Now they were stuck. And Isono was the only one around who knew how the system worked, and texting him, Kaiba would have to wait until the man could figure it out. Mokuba was such a damn genius, he decided to just fuck with the system before figuring out how to put it back together again.
Just like his little brother to do something that stupid. He was so grounded once Kaiba got freed again.
"That brat...figures something like that would happen while he had me wandering around this place."
Jonouchi folded his arms, huffing. Mokuba was cruising for a bruising, in Jonouchi's opinion, but it wasn't his place to discipline him. Hopefully Kaiba would do it and not just let Mokuba have his way as usual.
"I didn't know it was your office, Kaiba. Otherwise I wouldn't have gone anywhere near it. Blame Mokuba for getting me lost..."
Kaiba wasn't listening to a word Jonouchi was saying. His calm was ruined. He was having a pretty decent time figuring out his old pet project, and now he was going to be stuck in the study until Isono returned from Kaiba Corporation and could fix the wiring himself. And that could take several hours...
How was he going to get by without killing Jonouchi? He wasn't quite sure. It wasn't like he was going to get away from him now, and grumbling, he crossed his arms and hid his face under them as he sat at his desk and tried calming himself down.
Jonouchi didn't speak at first and settled for packing himself into an armchair. He was immensely frustrated. He was still pissed at Kaiba over the last argument they'd had, and he'd wanted to avoid him entirely that day. Why did this happen? He couldn't even completely blame his own stupidity. It had been a pussy move to try hiding in a small room, maybe, but he couldn't help getting overwhelmed and agoraphobic. He'd needed a break.
And hadn't Mokuba been the reason he was wandering lost anyway? And he was the reason the door didn't work. So it looked like the little monster had screwed everyone over today.
It didn't take long for him to get bored. He didn't want to touch anything because he figured it would just make Kaiba pissier, but at the same time, just sitting in the armchair was going to kill him with boredom. Who knew how long it would be until they got out?
"Kaiba," Jonouchi groaned, "Can I watch TV? I'm bored."
"No."
He didn't want to listen to the miserable noise echoing in his study for however long they'd be stuck in there.
"Then can I read one of your books? Or use the computer?"
"No and no... Go play on your phone or something."
"Can I at least turn on the radio? It's too quiet."
Maybe it was because he was a poor kid from the city, but to Jonouchi, pure darkness and silence meant nothing but trouble. Noise meant life. The sounds of downtown Domino were like a background soundtrack at night, much less disconcerting than the quiet and occasional eerie creaking of Kaiba Mansion.
"Quiet is perfect, so get used to it. The radio is not turning on."
He turned his head toward the side before sighing, feeling himself calm down before closing his eyes. If he was going to be stuck there, it would be best to just sleep off several hours of being locked inside the office. It was better than being under-preoccupied, letting the time go by, and Jonouchi was finally shutting up after complaining over his boredom. Hopefully he wouldn't become hungry later too...
And shutting off his brain and sighing another time, he eventually managed to knock out. He was breathing heavily, enough that it was obvious when he was gone, and his head was sitting on his arms while his lashes rested against his face. Mokuba always used to tease him about how he resembled a girl while sleeping, and usually he'd try hiding his face because of it, but he was too tired. And Jonouchi already picked at him over his appearance, so it didn't really matter anyway.
Jonouchi didn't realize Kaiba had fallen asleep until he tried saying something to him and got absolutely no response. Just steady breathing. When he observed Kaiba more closely, he saw that he was relaxed, his eyes shut and the lashes fanning out over his cheekbones.
It was incredible, the change in his appearance when he was sleeping. His jaw wasn't so tight, and his lips weren't pinched in irritation. Kaiba actually had nice, full lips, in Jonouchi's opinion. When he was sleeping. When he was awake, they were usually pressed into a firm line or curved into a cruel smirk.
Jonouchi ended up just staring at Kaiba while he slept for a while. If only he was quiet and adorable all the time. But no, when he was conscious, he had to be a dick and attack everything. Jonouchi was just amazed that Kaiba was sleeping in his presence to begin with. He'd seen the man rest his eyes in public before, when he'd been awake for god-knew-how-long and was physically exhausted. But sleeping? Never. Certainly not as deeply as he seemed to be now. His eyelids didn't blink or shift from eye movement, his fingers didn't twitch, his breathing was steady.
The desk just wasn't that comfortable. Getting up and groaning a little, Kaiba moved over to the couch across from the TV, dumping himself there face first before finding the pillow and covering his face with it. He didn't want to talk, socialize, or even acknowledge Jonouchi's presence; sleeping off the misfortune of his situation seemed much better.
Besides, he was a terrible sleeper and getting what he could manage was a good solution to lying awake with insomnia. Usually his brain just wouldn't shut down unless he was absolutely physically exhausted, but now it wasn't so bad. When someone else was around, he could usually relax enough to konk out.
"Hey, you're awake," Jonouchi noted as Kaiba fell onto the couch. Maybe he wasn't all that awake. "Have any nice dreams?"
He got grumbling in reply, as Kaiba moved onto his side, giving Jonouchi a good show of his back and ass, before throwing a pillow at his general direction and shutting his eyes. As if he was going to talk to him. Ever.
"Right," Jonouchi didn't bother trying to stop his eyes from trailing over Kaiba's back and lower body, fully appreciating the way his pants hugged his figure. If Kaiba was going to respond like that, it was doubtful he was expecting not to be looked at. "I guess you just want to sleep, then."
Jonouchi kind of did too, but he was more exhausted than sleepy. So he sat up fully awake while Kaiba returned to his nap, until he lost interest in the infinite loop of cat videos on his phone and started looking for something else to do.
There wasn't anything else to do. Well, there was, but he wasn't allowed. Fucking Kaiba. Don't touch my books, or my TV, or my computer, or my anything. It wasn't like Jonouchi was going to break his shit on purpose. At least a book would keep him quiet and preoccupied.
He stared at Kaiba. He looked like a large feline sleeping on the couch as he was, his body so completely relaxed that Jonouchi almost wondered if he was alive. But Kaiba was still breathing, however slowly. Jonouchi stood up and quietly approached. He was wearing house shoes, so his steps were almost completely silent. Not that it should be necessary, since Kaiba was supposed to be asleep. Jonouchi decided to check just in case.
It looked like he was sleeping. It didn't seem logical that Kaiba would be that knocked out otherwise. He'd shifted a little at some point, and his hair had fallen over his face at the side. He occasionally wrinkled his nose as if it was bothering him, so Jonouchi tucked the errant strand behind his ear on impulse.
Fortunately, Kaiba didn't wake up when that happened, and Jonouchi was free to observe his face for a moment. No one had a right to look that pretty when they were sleeping, honestly. Up close, Kaiba's features became noticeable in different ways. He had high cheekbones. His skin was flawless and very white for the rest of his features (excepting his eyes), aside from what looked like very small, faded freckles across the bridge of his nose. Jonouchi found that hilarious and resolved that he'd bring the spots up sometime when he was at a distance. Just to make Kaiba self-conscious.
His nose was pretty damn pointy. Not unattractively so, but it certainly showed his mixed blood more than his almond-shaped eyes and long, narrow face. Jonouchi never really took note of it from the front, but from the side, it was evident.
"You're pretty good looking when you aren't being nasty," Jonouchi mused, knowing that Kaiba couldn't hear him and saying so wouldn't result in trouble. It wasn't like he could say shit to him while he was awake. "Much as it gets on my nerves, I would probably fuck you if you were interested. I wouldn't even charge."
He snorted at the self-depreciative humor and watched Kaiba quietly for a few more seconds. He just looked so much more amiable and soft when he was sleeping. Not like the hardened and usually hateful face Jonouchi saw when he was awake.
"More than that, though, I wish you just would like me. As a friend, or even just as a person. I know you "don't like" anyone, but...it still stings. I don't know if I'm angrier at you for being such an ice queen, or at me for having any hope for you."
It was true that there was someone for everyone, in whatever sense, but Jonouchi didn't want to be a punching bag for Kaiba forever just so he might someday stop being so bitter. Jonouchi didn't feel that he would be that selfless.
"I can't get you out of my fucking head. I was having sex with my boyfriend-that's right, Kaiba, I'm not a prostitute-and I still couldn't stop thinking about you. I thought about the shit you say to me, and I even had this ridiculous dream..."
He sighed. The sex he'd had with Kitamura that night hadn't even been bad, except for possibly being let down at the end. It wasn't as good as the wet dream, but it made sense that his head would make things better than life. But did it have to be Kaiba? Of all people...fuck, at least if it had been someone like Yugi, he could just be embarrassed and get over it the next day. But no. It was Kaiba, who he kind of maybe was attracted to. A lot.
"I just really want you to like me," Jonouchi ran his fingers through Kaiba's hair. It was thick and heavy, but had a strangely wispy texture compared to other Japanese. It reminded Jonouchi a little of his own. "I know you never will. That hurts, a lot. I wish I could blame you for it, but my stupid feelings aren't your responsibility, right?"
He laughed dryly. He felt like it was Kaiba's fault for being an asshole, sometimes, but he couldn't really justify it. It wasn't Kaiba's fault that his stupid ass kept trying. He should have done like everyone else and just left Kaiba to his misery ages ago. Didn't Kaiba tell him to, all the time? Always wanting to be left alone...
"Fuck. Now I feel responsible for you, you know that? Because I know we're more personal than you admit. It's been like that for years. And I don't want to just ditch and leave you even more bitter than you already are. Maybe if I just stick around, you'll feel better. I don't know. But I'd rather deal with your bullshit than abandon you.
Maybe I could if I didn't know you were a fucking alcoholic. Someone who's happy alone doesn't drink into a stupor to feel better. I should know. I'm never going to forget about that, and you can just get over it. I know you're depressed, and you sure as hell don't like being alone. You're just a coward and won't let anyone close to you."
How Kaiba was still asleep, he didn't know. Jonouchi was still stroking his hair almost without thinking about it. He sure as hell wouldn't have slept through someone touching his head. Maybe that was from living where he did, though.
"I don't know, Kaiba. I'm not Yugi. Being a punching bag for someone just because they're my friend doesn't come easily to me. I'm not sure why I still hang around, honestly, but I guess I'll just have to keep trying..."
He trailed off and sighed, staring at Kaiba a little dazedly as he sat there on the edge of the couch cushion. Thank god Kaiba was asleep. If he'd said any of that while he was conscious, there would have been nothing but trouble. Kaiba would have been more than pissed. He would have been disgusted.
Kaiba started wrinkling his nose, snorting once before batting his nose with his hand and rolling around until he was facing towards the desk, not opening his eyes yet. He could never sleep well for the life of him, and returning back to full consciousness, he opened his eyes after blinking a few times to find Jonouchi looking down at him, his eyes really intense and full of emotion.
What the hell did he just wake up to?
He wanted to move away, but didn't. Mostly because they were trapped in a room together, so it wouldn't do him much good, but also because he was curious about what was going on. Why would Jonouchi be looking at him like that, like... He didn't even know. Friends didn't watch each other sleep, and he didn't even consider them that. His eyes looked too personal and open, like someone just ripped open his feelings and it made Kaiba feel bad, if not a little uncomfortable.
"What are you doing?" He asked, his face getting tense as he tried making sense of the situation, "Were you watching me sleep?"
"Uh-" Jonouchi had withdrawn his hand after Kaiba smacked it away, and was hoping he didn't know what had been going on, "Well, there was nothing else to do, so..."
He trailed off. He didn't really have an excuse. How fucked up was he, spilling his guts to Kaiba while he was asleep? He'd needed to get it off his chest, that was true, but that wasn't really the best way to do it. He just didn't want to deal with Kaiba's reaction if he'd really told him all that. No, Kaiba didn't need that kind of ammunition against him.
"You're a lot more amiable when you're asleep," Jonouchi smiled timidly, trying to make his nervousness go away. He was still sitting at the edge of the couch cushion, and he stood so he'd be out of Kaiba's personal space. "I was just enjoying it while it lasted. Sorry if I shocked you."
"... You're more gay than I first thought."
He turned around and fixed his hair, feeling almost flustered over it. Usually he would have snapped, but he couldn't without feeling like a dick. Something was going on. His hair was mussed, and he knew he didn't toss around that much when he slept, so something was definitely going on with Jonouchi and he wanted to know what.
"Were you touching my hair?" He asked, looking back at Jonouchi with a scandalized expression, "What made you think that would be all right? You can't just go around touching people because you're bored."
"Sorry," Jonouchi was turned the other way now, trying to shuffle back to his chair and hide his attention in his phone. He didn't want Kaiba mad at him, and he didn't want to show his face for fear that he was an open book. He could tell that Kaiba detected something was off, and Jonouchi didn't want him to get to the bottom of it. Heaven forbid.
He curled up in the armchair, his posture so awful that his head was hidden behind his knees. He kept his eyes glued to his phone even though he wasn't really looking at anything. He just hoped Kaiba would lose interest if he was submissive enough and go do something else.
But it didn't exactly work. Kaiba was staring at him, probing him for answers. He didn't like being surprised by things, or left in the dark. Something obviously happened while he was asleep, and Jonouchi looked ashamed of himself. Like he was doing or thinking something he knew he shouldn't be, and it made Kaiba pity him a little. Which was why he wasn't angry, but just irritated at being messed with. There was a reason why he rarely ever slept around people.
But then looking at Jonouchi, he could tell that he was just really out of it, especially since he was usually very confrontational when questioned. Something was wrong.
"I know you're not actually playing on that thing," commented Kaiba, sitting up and preening his hair, "What's with you?"
"Nothing's wrong with me," Jonouchi felt his face heating up. Fuck his life. "I shouldn't have acted like a creep, I'm sorry."
He couldn't look at Kaiba. He felt too embarrassed, and a little ashamed. Now he probably just thought he was a pervert.
"Liar. Something's up with you, and you're just too afraid to tell me. Whatever. You can watch the damn tv if you'd like."
"I don't even want to anymore," Jonouchi muttered pitifully to himself. He just felt embarrassed. Too on the spot to move. He felt like anything he did would somehow alert Kaiba to everything he'd been saying while he was asleep.
"What if we play a game instead? I have cards."
It was better than just watching Jonouchi sit there feeling sorry for himself. Over what, Kaiba wasn't exactly sure, he wasn't explaining himself, and he probably wouldn't. Whatever had passed would probably remain a mystery until Jonouchi stopped pitying himself over it, and Kaiba was bored. He probably wouldn't be able to knock out again now after that.
"Not duel monster cards, but I'm sure you at least know how to play war or something like that," he offered, going into his desk drawer to get the pack, "Stop being a downer and just play one game against me."
Jonouchi made a face somewhere between bewilderment and suspicion at Kaiba. He wasn't sure what to make of this behavior. Either Kaiba was fucking with him, or he was too bored to be mean. Jonouchi decided that taking him up on his offer would be better than sitting in the armchair afraid to breathe for a few more hours.
"Okay," he wasn't sure where they'd be playing. There was a coffee table in front of the couch that seemed promising. He knelt in front of it when he saw Kaiba approach it with the playing deck in hand. "I figured war would be too boring a game for you."
Kaiba was being alarmingly nice, actually. Maybe he was trying to lull him into a false sense of security? Or maybe it was genuine. Maybe he was in a good mood after his nap. Who was to know? Jonouchi certainly couldn't fathom what had inspired it, and certainly couldn't figure out why Kaiba would sit down to play war, of all things, rather than micromanaging his employees.
He wasn't angry, at least. Or, he didn't seem it. Jonouchi could tell he was still curious because his eyes kept darting to him intermittently, but Jonouchi tried not to respond to it. Of course, by trying to act casual, he probably only looked more like he was hiding something, but at least Kaiba wasn't trying to pry information out of him yet.
"Sometimes I like simple games," he said, cutting the deck and shuffling the cards before crossing his long legs and resting against the front of the couch to get more comfortable, "And I figure I shouldn't overload your brain either."
He started splitting the deck, half and half, before making his own pile neat and flipping the first card. It was a five of hearts, and he waited patiently for Jonouchi to wake up and flip his card. Jonouchi was so out of it...
"Are you going to play or what?"
"Uh, yeah," Jonouchi replied, still a little dazed. He flipped his card, which was a three of spades. Not what he'd needed to win that round, but they had the whole deck left to go through. "And what do you mean, overload my brain? I don't know if I should be touched by your concern, or a little offended."
He was comfortable with Kaiba picking at him, though. It reminded him of rare occasions in the past when he'd been in a good mood. When their banter had been more habit than fighting. That had been after Jonouchi spent a while in a coma, though, so maybe it had just been Kaiba cutting him a break. It certainly didn't seem to have much bearing on the present. Mostly. Kaiba was too goddamn confusing.
"Think whichever you'd like."
He snatched both cards and added them to the bottom of his deck before flipping the next top card. Jack of diamonds. It made him grin, there weren't too many cards that could beat it, and he didn't think Jonouchi was going to just come up with the only three that could out of nowhere. His luck was good, but probably not that good.
And he grinned even wider when Jonouchi just came up with a ten of hearts, taking the card and giving him a sly look before continuing with the game. It wasn't like he was cheating, because there was no real skill to playing war, but it still felt good winning. For the sake of winning.
Jonouchi wrinkled his nose and made a face at Kaiba before flipping his next card. He managed to flip a queen of clubs, and if Kaiba beat that, well...he'd have to figure out how the bastard had stolen his luck. Hopefully Jonouchi hadn't accidentally given it to him.
"Beat that, smart one," he stuck his tongue out immaturely. He couldn't help it. Kaiba was smirking far too excitedly for his liking.
"Tch."
He played a two of spades. Whatever, it was no major win, and it amused him more than anything. Jonouchi could enjoy his pathetic victory.
"So," he asked, still not letting the weird situation that had passed go until his curiosity was fed, "When are you going to man up and admit you're the one who's crushing over me? It's not like you're hiding anything or saving face."
"What-" Jonouchi spluttered. He'd thought (or, rather, hoped) that the subject wouldn't come up again. He'd at least hoped that Kaiba wouldn't be so damn forceful about it. He could have found a more subtle way to discuss it, surely. "Why would I admit something like that? Why are you asking?"
He stared at the table, his arms crossed tightly against his chest. He felt so exposed. "Crushing" wasn't the word he would use. Yes, he liked Kaiba personally. He cared for him. And he thought he was pretty fucking attractive, which they'd established. But crushing? No. He didn't want to be with Kaiba. Why would he hurt himself like that? It was bad enough trying to be his friend, or even just a close or marginally trusted acquaintance. Kaiba was bitter and hurtful more often than not. Hardly relationship material.
"Because I can tell and I wasn't just born yesterday, even if I'm a virgin still. You can stop being all scandalized over it. I'm not even upset."
"Why do you care?" Jonouchi demanded before he could stop himself. He probably shouldn't have asked. God only knew how Kaiba would take it. Still, maybe it would get him to stop poking about it. No, of course it wouldn't. This was Kaiba, after all. "It doesn't even matter. If I did have a crush on you, it wouldn't make any difference, so let's just not talk about it."
"Then you're not denying it? You're just going to leave me in the dark and hope I don't figure it out when you've been giving rather obvious clues these past few days? Right."
He rolled his eyes, continuing with the game. Really, he was too out of it to get angry or mad, and he wasn't stupid enough to think that people had control over who they were attracted to. Kaiba wasn't ignorant of feelings, he just chose to keep his on a tight leash, and Jonouchi didn't seem to have that sort of discipline. He probably couldn't help himself. So, he couldn't really be blamed, either.
"You were trying to deflect it on me two weeks ago, saying I liked you. That's enough for me, and I don't see why you won't just admit it already. I'm not going to pick on you over something so juvenile."
"I only said that to bug you, Kaiba, get off it already," Jonouchi glared at him, "I don't have a crush on you. Even I wouldn't do something that stupid."
Yes he would. He knew he would. Only he would do something that stupid, really. Who else would form any kind of affectionate attachment to someone like Kaiba? Someone who, for all intents and purposes, got off on making him burn. And all this while he was in a relationship already. Jonouchi returned to staring at the table dejectedly. He didn't care if Kaiba was mad or not. He was mad. He was mad at himself mostly, but Kaiba wasn't a bad target for his anger, either.
Why couldn't he just drop it?
"I know it's all probably funny to you, but it's not to me. So stop."
"I'm not laughing," replied Kaiba cooly, looking up at Jonouchi through his long eyelashes, "And now you're getting all worked up over it. Relax, I'm not even going to tell Mokuba about it. No one cares, don't have a cow."
Jonouchi stopped himself before he could retort with "I care", thankfully. He continued to glare at the coffee table quietly. It almost bothered him that Kaiba was so calm. So Jonouchi crushing on him was just honkey-dorey, but if he wanted to, say, be his fucking friend...
No, it didn't come as much of a consolation that Kaiba wasn't angry. Jonouchi almost wished he was. At least then maybe he'd wake up enough to finally stop caring at all. He refused to acknowledge having anything like a crush on Kaiba. Kaiba didn't deserve that from him. Kaiba didn't deserve to know something like that about him.
He was immensely frustrated, and wanted to storm out, but that was impossible due to the door being irreversibly shut.
Kaiba sighed, playing another card and watching Jonouchi not doing anything about it. He was just staring at the table feeling bad for himself, and Kaiba felt like quitting. It was a waste of time. Playing against himself wasn't entertaining, and if Jonouchi planned on just shutting him out until they were freed, well, he could just sit at his computer and work then. It would be a better use of his time.
Jonouchi noticed that Kaiba had set another card on the table, even though he hadn't played one. He was still trying to carry on the game, despite the conversation they'd just had. It only served to make Jonouchi more frustrated that Kaiba was being so unbearably aloof about the whole thing, even though that should have been a relief to him. He gave in and slapped two more cards of his own to "battle" Kaiba's when he heard the man sigh. At least they weren't talking anymore.
Or so Jonouchi thought. Kaiba was too bored to just drop the conversation, and taking the cards, he added them to his deck before staring Jonouchi in the face.
"You know, we might be stuck here overnight," he muttered, "Because it's nearly dinner time, and Isono messaged me that he's stuck in traffic still. Can your stomach hold out until tomorrow?"
He didn't want to listen to Jonouchi's whining, and looking at his phone before frowning and tossing it back on the couch, he waited for some sort of answer. Something that showed Jonouchi was still listening to him talk instead of, well zoning out.
"I'm trying to be civil."
"Yeah, I know," Jonouchi sighed. Kaiba was trying so hard that it was difficult to stay angry, but his chest still burned. He wished he could stay pissed. At least it would take his mind off of the all-consuming embarrassment. "I'll be fine. I know how to sleep hungry."
Wow, that hadn't sounded so pathetic in his head. Then again, for him, that wasn't a big deal. It was only recently that he had the guarantee of three square meals a day, and before then, it had been touch-and-go. Everything depended on what hours he got at work, and if they were anything less than the maximum for full time (corporate wouldn't let them work overtime), then he couldn't eat three meals every day. Something had to be sacrificed in the interest of rent, and that was it.
It had been a while, though. Sleeping hungry was going to be uncomfortable. But he was tired; he'd pass out soon enough if he tried.
"What I mean is, I can wait until tomorrow to eat," he corrected himself.
"Right... Do you want to finish this game or not?"
Knowing himself, Kaiba figured he wouldn't be falling asleep anytime soon. Not until after midnight at least, thanks to the shitty insomnia, and he wasn't so sure about waking up to having Jonouchi peering down at him again either.
"I know I'm not going to fall asleep for a long time," he continued, talking more to himself than Jonouchi, who wasn't even looking at him anymore, "I can't sleep at night. Whatever I got from that nap will probably be all I'll be getting tonight... You can have the couch."
"Um, you don't have to do that," Jonouchi looked up finally, meeting Kaiba's eyes, "I can sleep pretty much anywhere. Why can't you sleep at night?"
He'd heard legends of Kaiba not sleeping in favor of staying up to work, back when the company was in a lot of trouble. Now, that probably wasn't as necessary. Maybe his body had grown accustomed, or he was just plagued by insomnia. Jonouchi played another card, since Kaiba had mentioned the game. He didn't even care about the game anymore...
"Are you stressed about something? More than usual, I mean."
"No. I'm just terrible at shutting my brain down at night. And I don't ever stay asleep."
He played another card, but lost to Jonouchi's queen of hearts. Well, that figured. His winning streak was falling apart, and he watched as he lost his nine of clubs to him, frowning a little. Kaiba never liked losing.
"I've always had that problem though. It's nothing new."
"Oh. I'm sorry," Jonouchi muttered, flipping another card. Seven of spades. "I'd probably just give up if I couldn't sleep. On top of everything else, I don't need that bullshit. I'd be too tired to function."
He'd tried working at the soba restaurant while sleep deprived in the past. It hadn't been good. He'd had the shakes all day, orders had gone in one ear and out the other, and he'd dropped so many bowls that eventually his manager had banished him to dishwashing for the rest of the day.
"You slept just fine a little while ago. Until I woke you up, anyway."
Ugh, he felt so stupid. He probably would have run for the hills when Kaiba woke up, if it had been possible at all. As it were, it looked like they'd be stuck in this room together all night, and Jonouchi felt a flash of guilt when he wondered if Kaiba was just cautious about sleeping around him again.
"Yeah, I only manage some three hours a night though. Sometimes five if I'm lucky. It's not something you can do anything about, and medication doesn't really help. Drinking sometimes does," he said, his face turning a bit sour from the memory, "But it just leaves a bad hangover in the morning, which is just as crappy as not sleeping at all."
He actually couldn't sleep since being adopted. It was something Mokuba knew about, but no one else. Something about Gozaburo always being around, always watching, made him too paranoid to really rest for any longer than an hour or two. If anymore, then something could happen, and he didn't want to risk his personal safety for sleep.
Even though the man was long dead. That didn't change much for Kaiba, not really. Not when he lived in the same house, slept in the dead man's old bedroom... No, the best sleep he got was at the hotel. And even that didn't last more than five hours.
"Um," Jonouchi noticed that Kaiba was tense, the vein in his neck protruding a little as he stared at the card he'd played. His eyes looked so cold that Jonouchi was a little hesitant to speak. "Are you okay?"
Shit, he looked haunted. It made Jonouchi a little anxious, actually, and he jumped a little when he heard the house creaking again. Why did they have to be stuck in this creepy old house in the middle of the night? Why not the hotel? Not Jonouchi's apartment, that might actually be worse. Real danger, as opposed to ghosts. Which was only real danger to Jonouchi, it seemed.
"What's bothering you?"
"Nothing you need to worry about."
Like he was going to get into that mess with someone who didn't want to talk to him only ten minutes ago. No, Kaiba wasn't going to indulge in bonding time over his childhood trauma, and he certainly wasn't going to talk about it. Thinking over the memories were bad enough, and the house was a bad reminder. If he wasn't so damn stubborn, he'd have the entire thing brought down, or at least sell it.
Whichever one, he was still thinking over his options.
"Let's talk about something else," he said, wanting to change the conversation so it wouldn't be about him any longer, "like why you like my leather pants so much. Does that mean you were spying on me when I used to wear that jacket?"
Teasing was more fun than sitting around thinking about dead men.
"Pfft," Jonouchi snorted, "I thought you looked good in it. It was cool, I won't lie. But frankly, I'm a little more interested in the way your ass looks in those pants."
He was being blunt, but if Kaiba got creeped out, it served him right for asking at random. He was trying to change topics. Even Jonouchi could tell. Someone didn't just look that disturbed and then carry on tormenting their gay associate like it was nothing.
"So, yeah. That's why I like them. Shows off your ass."
"Hmpf."
"You asked, big guy," Jonouchi snickered. Finally he had the upper hand, it seemed, in both the conversation and the game. "What were you expecting? You look hot in leather, it's not like I was planning to deny it."
"I didn't know it was my ass that you were after though," he remarked, rolling his eyes and playing another card, "But whatever. I guess that's flattering."
"You guess? You have a nice ass. Got nice legs, too, but I didn't want to make you feel like a girl."
Kaiba was so uncomfortable. Jonouchi found it equal parts funny and upsetting that Kaiba wasn't okay with him mentioning his ass. Wasn't he at least a little gay? Unless he wasn't gay, and was just slutty. In which case...well, he probably wasn't much better than Kitamura. Less of a manwhore, but probably not great in bed.
"I'll quit picking on you. I can see that you aren't okay with my gayness."
Kaiba snorted at the remark over feeling like a girl, rolling his eyes.
"Mokuba says I have eyes like one too, so that actually doesn't bother me too much. I look like my mother. It doesn't bother me, I'd rather resemble her than my father. He wasn't nearly as attractive looking..."
"Figures you were lucky and got all the pretty genes," Jonouchi scoffed, "Mokuba is right, though. You've got big blue eyes. And your eyelashes are like some shit out of a magazine, I swear."
He lost the next round. He wasn't bothered by it, even when Kaiba hummed in self-satisfaction. Let him have his little ego boost.
"Maybe your eyes would be even nicer if you weren't glaring at people all the time. I kind of like the way they look when you're in a good mood."
"Most people do," muttered Kaiba, "But I can't help my moods. And quite frankly, I don't want people liking me over my eyes either."
"Well, I'm not "most people"," Jonouchi replied a bit more sternly than was necessary. He took a breath before continuing. "I like you for more than your eyes, and if you don't know that by now...I don't even know what to do with you. I'm just saying...you look better when you're not being an ice sculpture."
He doubted Kaiba would take that well, but whatever. Jonouchi didn't feel right if he didn't try to correct him once in a while. It wasn't like Kaiba had anyone around to nag at him. Mokuba might do it occasionally, but Jonouchi doubted it was often. Kaiba wasn't going to stop disliking him anytime soon as it was, so he wasn't losing anything by being critical here and there.
"Sometimes I don't know what to do with myself," smirked Kaiba, "I already said I knew you liked me. Now you've just admitted it, more or less."
"I didn't mean it like that," Jonouchi rolled his eyes, frustrated, "Stop harping on it. I don't have a crush on you. You're just trying to give yourself an ego trip."
"Then don't look at me all sad eyed while I'm sleeping," teased Kaiba, "You were all longing and crap, I don't even know what that was exactly, but it certainly wasn't platonic. Men don't just look at each other like that, Jonouchi. You know that."
He moved closer, leaning over the cards and taking one of Jonouchi's before flipping it, and then his. It was a Jack of clubs, not quite strong enough to beat Kaiba's Ace of spades, and he took both cards and added them to his deck before looking back up at Jonouchi and smirking.
"I feel like there's a lot you're not telling me right now."
Jonouchi scoffed and looked away. Usually he wouldn't complain about Kaiba getting into his personal space, but right now he felt like he was just getting toyed with. He wasn't in the mood for Kaiba's bullshit.
"Yeah, and I've got damn good reasons for it," he huffed, his nostrils flaring. He felt examined, and exposed, moreover. "What, so just because I care about you, you think I have a crush? No one's ever cared about you before, Kaiba?"
Of course, if Kaiba said no to that, it would be disregarding Mokuba. But if he said yes, then Jonouchi would be made at least a little bit right. Hopefully.
"My feelings are my business. I don't have some fucking infatuation with you, all right? Yeah, I care about you because I consider you a friend, and I'd fuck you in a heartbeat if you were interested. But I'm not going to start pining for your affection any time soon."
Not that he'd be upset to have Kaiba's affection. That would be beyond strange, though. Jonouchi would be satisfied with just some respect, or maybe mutual consideration. Something that reflected the way he felt, rather than the little bits of decency between giant chunks of bitterness.
"You're going to think whatever suits you, as usual, but don't keep throwing it in my face. It's insulting."
"Very few people care about me," Kaiba remarked, not looking away and ignoring Jonouchi's anger, he couldn't care less if his examining was getting on his nerves, "And no one looks at me like that. No one. So don't try feeding me some bullshit because now you're all embarrassed or whatever. I just don't appreciate being lied to.
And I'm not trying to insult you, Jonouchi. There's easier ways of doing that."
He picked up another card and played it. It was a low number, and Kaiba beat it easily. Looking up from his eyelashes, he could tell that Jonouchi was blowing off the game and now he was playing against himself. Whatever.
"And if I were you, I'd want to fuck me too."
"Oh, shut up," Jonouchi spat, but he was more embarrassed than angry. Kaiba was having a whale of a time with this, and it was getting to be too much for him. "Why do you insist on torturing me? This doesn't even matter to you."
"It doesn't not matter to me," he offered, "Or else I wouldn't still be talking about it."
Jonouchi stared at Kaiba, trying to figure out what he'd meant by that. Assuming he meant it at all. There was always the chance that he was just trying to fuck with him again.
"Yeah, sure. So no one looks at you like I do. What does that mean to you? If you cared at all about sentiment, you wouldn't treat me the way you do. Somehow, I'm not convinced that knowing I care is going to change anything."
"Well, I'm not yelling in your face calling you animal names right now, am I? I'm trying to be civil."
"You're not being civil. You're just in a good mood because you've found yet another way to make me feel bad," Jonouchi accused. Much as it was nice to think Kaiba meant well by it, he was hesitant (even frightened) to believe it.
"You're just being difficult. Forget it then."
"I've been trying to!" Jonouchi shouted, throwing his hands in the air. Kaiba didn't do much but flinch a little in response. "This whole time I've been trying to just not talk about this, but you can't pass up a chance to fuck with me!"
"If that was the case, I'd be ripping off your clothes right now. Get over it. I'm not some boogey man, and I'm not mind fucking you, Jonouchi."
He backed away from where he was, sitting back up against the couch, folding his arms across his chest. The situation was troubling to him, because he couldn't get the clear answer he was looking for and now Jonouchi was bent out of shape. Well, that wasn't what he wanted, but he couldn't do much about that. He had to admit to himself, it was weird that someone he treated so terribly wanted him so badly, but maybe he wasn't the only damaged person in the room.
Or else Jonouchi would have left him a long ass time ago.
"What exactly do you want from me?"
"Oh, I don't know, Kaiba. How about a little respect?" Jonouchi spat, so frustrated that he almost couldn't speak properly. His crude accent was sounding even more clearly than usual. "How about an interaction that doesn't involve you glaring at me like you found me under your boot? How about a conversation-just one conversation-that doesn't end with you trying to make me feel like shit for daring to be interested in you?"
He paused, panting for breath. He hadn't flown off the handle for a long time. It must have been over a year since the last time it had happened. And here he'd thought he was becoming an adult.
"Why do you have to hate me? Why can't we get along? I don't even want you to feel the way I do, Kaiba, but fuck. Do you have to use me for your cruel entertainment? Is that really necessary? Are my feelings so funny to you?"
Yeah, they probably were. The cruel part was his own mind was ridiculing him for it, even. Why shouldn't Kaiba?
"I don't understand them."
"What?" Jonouchi replied snappily. "How do you not understand? How many times do I have to explain to you before it gets through?"
"If I'm so awful to you," said Kaiba, looking away almost embarrassed, "Then why do you bother? It's not like I'm looking for your attention, and you haven't left me alone since you ran into Mokuba at Burger World. It's like you won't let it go, and it's not my fault if you got attached to something you shouldn't have."
Although he was really trying hard not to be awful about it. He usually didn't try going after people who actually felt something for him. Just let them down easily. Or ignored them. Whichever was easier, he wasn't looking for romance, and people complicated things. There was no time for that.
"You've known me longer than most people, it doesn't make any logical sense why you'd do this."
Jonouchi huffed and turned his back on Kaiba, trying to calm himself down before he was reduced to just shouting incoherently. It didn't make any sense, but the fact that Kaiba was so chill about the whole thing only made him angrier.
"I know you don't care," he muttered, "You're never going to take responsibility for what you do to people."
He took a few breaths before turning around, looking Kaiba in the eyes.
"I didn't make you like me, Jonouchi."
"And I didn't make you start treating everyone like trash, but you still blame the world for not tolerating your crap," Jonouchi retorted, "Yeah, Kaiba, you're awful. You're despicable, and half the time I'm so disgusted by you that I get mad just thinking about you.
But you know what? As much as you hate it, you're still a good person, and I can see that. Every once in a fucking blue moon, I can see that, and that's why I keep hanging around. And I know you don't give a fuck, so don't waste your breath telling me. I don't need your smug bullshit."
Kaiba didn't reply to any of that. He just gave up, getting off the floor and picking up his cards before putting them back in the drawer he'd found them in. And not wanting to hear how disgusting he was for a second time, he decided to drop the conversation and just do something else. Pretend Jonouchi wasn't in the room. He was too mad to read or work, probably wouldn't be able to sleep, but he laid out on the couch again regardless, slipping off his shoes and falling into complete silence there.
But not sleeping. Not this time. He just laid there, barely breathing, he was so mad, and he thought about firing Isono for taking his damn time unlocking the door, but he knew he wouldn't .
Jonouchi watched Kaiba lie on the couch silently and snorted. That figured. Fine, let him sulk. Jonouchi didn't want anything to do with him anymore.
As he'd told himself multiple times in the past.
Dammit, what had he done to deserve this? Jonouchi returned to the armchair, but instead of sitting in it where he'd be facing Kaiba, he curled up in the corner behind it where he could feel unseen and stew. He wasn't even that mad anymore. He'd pretty much shouted all his anger away. Now he just felt hurt, as he had for a while. As he usually did after talking to Kaiba at any given time.
Why couldn't that bastard just make up his mind? Either be all good or all bad. He didn't need to be mostly bad and just good enough that Jonouchi kept coming back. Maybe he hadn't made Jonouchi care, but that didn't excuse his behavior. The way he treated people was unacceptable.
Jonouchi sighed, resting his chin on his knees. What was he supposed to do? If it was at all possible, Kaiba probably just hated him more, now. And it was sad, too. Maybe if he'd heard all the things Jonouchi had said earlier, he wouldn't have been so upset. Maybe if Jonouchi had said them while Kaiba was awake instead of shouting at him, they wouldn't be in this situation.
There was no point dwelling on it. It wouldn't make the situation any better. They were still trapped in this damned office together for the rest of the night, and it was early yet.
He wasn't sure how much time passed while he was behind the armchair. He heard Kaiba breathing angrily, and the pattern eventually slowed a little to what seemed more like irritation. Maybe he'd lost the energy to stay enraged. Jonouchi certainly had. He was exhausted, and so tired of fighting. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if they just duked it out, but he had a feeling it would take a lot to push Kaiba to violence.
Jonouchi peeked out from behind the chair. Kaiba was still lying down, staring at the ceiling and brooding. What did he have to be upset about? Jonouchi was the one who was constantly getting stung.
"Kaiba," Jonouchi called quietly after he'd worked up the courage. No response. "Hey, Kaiba."
"What?"
He turned so his head was looking out where Jonouchi was hiding, his eyes cross and face tense. What did Jonouchi want to say now?
"...I'm sorry."
Jonouchi's pride welled up and insisted that Kaiba was the one who ought to be apologizing, after everything that had happened lately, but he quelled it. If he waited for Kaiba to apologize, there would never be any progress.
"I shouldn't have yelled at you. I'm sorry."
"It happens."
"Don't give me that," Jonouchi rolled his eyes, "If you were that nonchalant about it, you wouldn't be sulking on the couch."
He got out from behind the armchair and sat with his back against a tall bookshelf. God, there were a lot of books.
"The couch is comfortable."
"And that proves me wrong...how? You just happened to choose a more comfortable place to sulk than I did," Jonouchi replied, wincing as he shifted. His ass was sore. It was becoming too frequent an occurrence for his liking.
"I'm not sulking. I'm thinking. Stop picking at me, you already apologized, and it's over now."
He turned around showing his back again, wanting to sleep. But unable to. If he could, maybe by morning the whole blow out would be over and Isono would let them out. He'd ground Mokuba for causing this to happen in the first place, for at least a month, and get some time to himself again. No friends in the house. No Jonouchi trying to guilt trip him.
"You are too sulking. And no, it's not over now."
Jonouchi made his way across the floor to the couch on all fours. It wasn't a long way, and he didn't feel like standing.
"Do you know why it's not?" He didn't get an answer. That wasn't unusual with Kaiba. "Because you're still upset. So I still haven't apologized properly."
He knelt beside the couch, staring at the back of Kaiba's head. He'd made a royal mess of things. But could he say he regretted it? He wasn't so much sorry for finally telling Kaiba off as he was for making Kaiba feel bad. Kaiba couldn't expect to fuck around with his feelings forever and not get any backlash, could he? Well, he could. He was the epitome of a self-entitled rich kid, in some ways.
"Kaiba, I really am sorry. I was frustrated and said shit I shouldn't have."
"What do you want me to say back?" He asked, not looking at where he knew Jonouchi was kneeling. Avoiding eye contact and brooding was better than being eye fucked all over again, "I don't want to keep talking all night about this. Forget I even mentioned your little "crush" tonight, I want to try and sleep."
"I wasn't mad because you mentioned it, Kaiba," Jonouchi muttered, "That's not it at all. And all things considered, I'm pretty sure that's gonna stay on my mind no matter what."
Kaiba was trying to sleep? Yeah, right. He said he had insomnia, and no one could sleep while they were sulking. Maybe while they were crying, but not during angry brooding.
"It's not the crush thing I was upset about. Still, it's not important. I shouldn't have blown up at you about it, regardless. You've done a lot worse than tease me because you thought I had a crush. I probably should have chosen one of those times instead," Jonouchi laughed dryly. It figured, the one time Kaiba decided to be almost friendly, he got unbearably pissed off. He would have been less angry if he wasn't so hurt, probably, but that was nothing new. Certainly, it was nothing that would have any bearing on Kaiba's conscience, so there was no point bringing it up.
"Will you just talk to me? I want to set this right, okay? It's better than brooding over it all night..."
"What do you want to talk about exactly then?"
He turned around so he was on his back, giving Jonouchi a sideways glance but not turning his head to look at him. Their arguing was exhausting, and he didn't want to keep discussing everything ad nauseum, things that didn't quite make sense to him and he didn't have much control over, but he had a feeling Jonouchi wouldn't let it go until he felt better about it.
When did he get so sensitive about other people's feelings. Maybe Kaiba just never really noticed.
Jonouchi folded his arms on the edge of the couch cushion and rested his chin on them, rolling his eyes up to look at Kaiba.
"I really do care about you, you know," he stated. He heard Kaiba snort. "It's true. I don't know if I'd call it a crush, but I care. So, as you can imagine, it sucks that you get such a kick out of fucking with my feelings."
He was trying to explain himself, but there really was no way to describe what was going on without sounding like he thought Kaiba was a dick. Because from Jonouchi's perspective, he was. But that didn't stop him from hanging around, did it? And it probably never would.
"I'll try not to then."
"Really?" Jonouchi blinked. He hadn't exactly expected Kaiba to concede. "I didn't think it mattered to you."
"I don't like being villainized. Get enough of that from people who don't even like me... So whatever. I'll just leave you alone then."
"Don't be so dramatic," Jonouchi scoffed, "I'm not "villainizing" you. I've told you, I don't think you're a bad guy. You're just really fuckin' damaged. And I get that, you know, I'm not great or anything. But still, I can only deal with so much. I like hanging out with you, but you piss me off, too."
Not that that was Kaiba's fault, exactly, but it was his fault that he lashed out at people. At least, to an extent. It wasn't something he couldn't control if he tried.
"I'd like it if we could spend time together without the part where you hate me."
"I don't hate you. I haven't actually hated you for a long time. Now that's being overly dramatic."
No, he just found Jonouchi irritating most of the time. How he acted around people, how easy it was for him to get friends and stay with them effortlessly, it annoyed Kaiba and confused him. How could someone who fucked up so much in high school just turn around and end up with the friendship brigade and have everyone warm up to him like nothing happened? It didn't make sense.
And he didn't like also how he always seemed like the first one jumping his shit whenever Kaiba acted a bit surly over something, never giving him a break. It was like he found something wrong every time he looked at him, when Jonouchi wasn't any better. He was a bully at one time too. And yet he was so damn self-righteous because someone finally got him like how he used to get at other people.
But whatever. It was all water under the bridge, and getting huffy over ancient history wouldn't fix what was going on right now. Like being stuck in the room with him. And being stared at intently.
"You seem to enjoy making me feel crappy," Jonouchi frowned, giving Kaiba a questioning gaze, "That seems pretty hateful. Why do you do it, then?"
"Most people don't come back looking for more."
"That's not a reason!" Jonouchi gaped. Not that Kaiba had always been completely rational, but shit. That seemed excessive. "Did it occur to you that I kept coming back because I thought you were worth it?"
"No."
"Well, I did," Jonouchi huffed, "Even though you shit on me all the time, you're still nice in a way. And I can tell you're still human, much as you try to hide it. I don't keep hanging out with you because I get off on the insults, that's for sure..."
He wasn't sure if Kaiba was just kind of stupid when he wasn't busy being a genius, or his head wasn't screwed on right. It was like he didn't understand basic social interaction.
"I know I annoy you and shit, but most the time I don't know why."
"You're loud and remind me of the Americans. You laugh too much and make dumb gestures and always look happy, and it's obnoxious..."
"Obnoxious? I'm just trying to stay optimistic," Jonouchi replied, "And believe me, Kaiba, you're a lot easier to deal with if I just keep smiling."
Laughing off most of what Kaiba said and did made it much easier to cope with, at least in the moment. Maybe Kaiba would rather have him fly into a rage or acquiesce. Well, sucked for him. Jonouchi just wasn't Japanese enough for it.
"I don't see why it gets on your nerves so much."
"It's bothersome. I'm not used to it."
"So...because you aren't used to it, you try to make me leave by insulting me? That's kinda messed up, not gonna lie."
"I wasn't looking to gain friends, Jonouchi. It's not my fault you don't take hints to leave well."
"Fucking with my emotions isn't a "hint". That's you acting like the popular girl in school when she's on her period, is what it is. And no, I'm not going to take the hint. Maybe you claim not to be looking for "friends", but you wouldn't be so depressed all the time if you couldn't use one."
There were people who were well-suited to being hermits, and the majority wasn't like that. Most people, even introverts, desired trusted companions to interact with. Kaiba's problem, in Jonouchi's opinion, was that he refused to trust. Even the tiniest bit. Honestly, he didn't have to put his heart and soul on the line just to enjoy someone's company. He acted like a simple query after his well-being was intended to gather information that would later be weaponized.
Then again, he did that to everyone else, so maybe he anticipated the same.
"You know, I wasn't just staring at you like a creep while you were sleeping earlier," Jonouchi sighed, resting his eyes for a moment. He felt drained. And he was getting a little hungry, but it wasn't too bad.
"Then what exactly were you doing?"
"I was just talking to you."
"Excuse me?"
"Well," Jonouchi felt his face heating up, "You couldn't hear me, so...I talked to you. Told you shit that was on my mind, since you probably would have just laughed at me for it if you were awake."
So now the secret was out. Maybe at least it would put Kaiba's mind at ease, and get him off his stupid idea that Jonouchi was crushing on him. Honestly, how arrogant did he have to be to think that?
"Shit like what?"
Now Kaiba was interested, turning his head to look at Jonouchi before moving his body along with it. He was curious. No one usually confided in him about anything, except for Mokuba, and he found it rather odd that Jonouchi would talk to him while he was sleeping, but then again, Jonouchi was a rather odd person in general. Maybe he did that with all his friends, who knew.
"Were you telling me sweet nothings about my eyes?" He joked, snickering to himself before looking at the ceiling again.
"Pfft, you wish," Jonouchi rolled his eyes, "No, nothing like that. I was just talking about shit that was on my mind. About you, obviously. I'm not gonna repeat it, it's too stupid. But yeah, I wasn't just sitting there being a giant pervert."
He didn't really want to repeat anything he'd said. Yelling a harsher version of it was easier than actually sitting down and being sincere about it. After all, when he'd done it before, it had resulted in Kaiba harassing him about his "crush", and the last thing he wanted was to give Kaiba more ammunition. To give him actual insight about what he felt...
"I think about you a lot, you know. Even when I don't want to."
"And why's that? Is my ass too hot for you to handle, or what?"
"No, you bastard...I mean, your ass is hot. But that's not why you're on my mind, god..."
Well, it was, in a way, but Jonouchi wasn't going to tell Kaiba about that. No, he didn't need to know about that. Good god, Jonouchi would never be allowed to live it down.
"It's because you're infuriating, but I still care about you. So I think about you a lot, because you piss me off and then I think about it because I wonder why you do the things you do."
"Well, I'm starting to wonder if you're just one big giant masochist, if I piss you off that much and you still come back trying to "fix me" or whatever. How about you stop examining me already, Jonouchi? This is why I don't like talking to you. The guilt tripping and everything, it's getting old."
"Does it ever bother you, being such a twat all the time?" Jonouchi snapped. "I'm not trying to "fix" you, Kaiba. You're too fucking stubborn to be fixed."
He sobered to avoid saying anything insulting. No need to start fighting again.
"I'm just trying to be your friend. Maybe someday you'll stop being bitter and depressed. If not, well, at least I won't have contributed to it. Like hell if I'm gonna be that asshole."
"Fine... Are we done yet?"
"You don't even want to listen to me when I'm trying to be open with you," Jonouchi growled in frustration, turning around and sitting with his back to the couch. He crossed his arms. "I'm trying to talk to you about shit, and instead of hearing what I say, you're having your little fit and trying to be upset because I'm not worshipping your misbehavior."
It really was better talking to him when he was asleep. He probably listened better while he was unconscious than when he could actually hear. Jonouchi huffed, feeling embarrassed and more than a little rejected. His own fault for trying to be sincere with Kaiba, he supposed.
"It's late, I'm tired, and we've been going around in circles all night. Nothing new is being said. I get it. I've fucked up. Can we let it go already?"
"Would it have killed you to say that instead of blowing me off?" Jonouchi retorted. "You're impossible, Kaiba. I really must be a fuckin' masochist..."
Jonouchi sighed and conceded anyway, looking for a decently-sized patch of floor to sleep on. There weren't any spare blankets in the room, so he'd just have to hope that it didn't get too cold in there at night.
After looking around a little, he decided to just lie down on the opposite end of the coffee table. He didn't want Kaiba to step on him when he got up in the morning. He was just lying down on his back when one of the couch pillows smacked him in the face.
"Okay," Jonouchi turned his head toward the couch and met eyes with Kaiba, "What was that for, exactly?"
"You forgot to take off my clothes this time, Jonouchi."
And snickering, he turned onto his side and tried falling asleep.
"You dick," Jonouchi snorted, "If you wanted my attention, you could have just called my name."
Much as he wanted to avoid getting stepped on, he felt alone lying in the middle of the wooden floor. If he didn't know Kaiba would probably fuck him up for it, he'd move closer to the couch for the company. But he did his best to settle in on the floor, ignoring his stomach. He couldn't seem to keep his eyes shut.
He gave up after some time had passed and sat up, looking toward the couch.
"...Hey, Kaiba?"
"What is it this time? I don't have a blanket."
"Uh-" Jonouchi paused before he could ask what he'd planned to, and just crawled back over to the couch instead, pillow in hand. He lay down parallel to the couch, his head beside Kaiba's.
"I'm sleeping over here instead."
"Afraid of the dark?" Teased Kaiba, "There are no ghosts in the house, you know."
"Says you," Jonouchi muttered, "You act like there's a ghost..."
The house creaked. Jonouchi stiffened a little.
"I'm not afraid of the dark. I'm a little agoraphobic. I'd rather stay over here than in the middle of the floor."
"Pfft. You just want an excuse to be closer to me. Whatever."
"Well," Jonouchi replied quietly, feeling a little bolder in the dark, "May as well enjoy it while I can, right?"
Tomorrow, they'd be out of the room, and Kaiba would probably just shun him harder than usual. No point in passing up the opportunity for some company and grudging acceptance. Kaiba was close enough that Jonouchi could smell his cologne-more than that, even, he could smell his shampoo too.
"Would you be mad if I touched your hair?" Jonouchi asked. He couldn't even see Kaiba's head in the dark. He was asking partly because he'd done it earlier, without permission, and it was kind of a creepy thing to do.
"You already messed up my hair once, so whatever. It's not like I'll be able to stop you an hour from now... Go ahead."
He didn't care. And that thing usually felt good, his mother used to put him to sleep by doing that. Not that he wanted to be reminded of her by Jonouchi of all people doing it, but it would probably calm him down regardless and put him at a state of relaxation enough that he'd be able to sleep. At least for a few hours.
Jonouchi carefully reached out until he felt the back of Kaiba's head, and he started running his fingers through his hair. It wasn't that difficult to reach, since the couch was close to the ground. Shit, now Kaiba definitely thought he was crushing on him. Whatever, Kaiba thought he was a prostitute too, and Jonouchi wasn't going out of his way to change that impression. Getting to stroke his hair was about as close to any kind of physical affection as he was going to get.
He kind of wished Kaiba at least wanted to fuck him a little bit.
His hand got a little cramped from the angle. His fingers were getting more pull than was probably comfortable, and he heard Kaiba shift a little bit.
"Sorry," Jonouchi apologized, "It's because I'm down here."
Kaiba just snorted. He was zoning out, his eyes closed and relaxing in the dark. There was no more natural sunlight in the room now, just the light of the moon, and he knew if he did fall asleep, it wouldn't last for very long. A few hours, at most, before he'd end up waking up again and staring out at the darkness.
Maybe he'd just watch a movie with captions. At least then he'd be a bit entertained without waking Jonouchi up.
"I don't think I'm going to be able to fall asleep regardless."
"Oh," Jonouchi wasn't sure what to say to that. He was too tired to think straight at this point. "You know something that helps you sleep?"
He stiffened when he realized what he was about to suggest. Something like that would be fine if he was just joking around with his friends, but not in this particular situation.
"What helps? I'm desperate, at this point."
"Um-" Jonouchi squirmed a little. He was so tempted. He knew Kaiba didn't know what he'd just walked into, but part of him really wanted to see just how desperate he was.
"Well, sex helps you sleep."
Kaiba just turned around and stared down at Jonouchi. Why would he say something like that? Just why? Even though he couldn't see Kaiba's eyes well in the darkness, he could probably feel his stare, and Kaiba was too shocked to really reply to what he'd said. Was it an offer? Who knew. That was not a road he wanted to be walking down anytime soon.
"So, uh..." Jonouchi got nervous when Kaiba didn't reply. He'd probably fucked up pretty badly by mentioning it. "Yeah, if you want to...you can let me know."
Well, there it was. It wasn't like Kaiba didn't already know.
"You don't even have anything on you, stupid."
"I don't have anything...?" Jonouchi tried to figure out what Kaiba was talking about, and blushed when he did. "Oh. Well, there are other things we could do. I'm not picky."
"What would you suggest then?" He asked, snorting. He couldn't believe Jonouchi was even thinking about it, like it was a good idea to fuck around when they could hardly even speak to each other without getting at one another's throats, "Since you're not "picky"."
"Um," Jonouchi wasn't usually given the option to lead. He was surprised that Kaiba was even going along with it. "We could...you know, we could do frottage or something."
"You sound really sure about that," Kaiba joked, rolling his eyes and laying on his stomach while keeping his chin up with his hand, "Are you sure you could handle me doing that with you?"
"Yes," Jonouchi replied quickly, "It would be really great, actually. You don't seem to realize how much I want to have sex with you."
He wasn't going to cry about it, certainly. Even if Kaiba didn't give a fuck about it afterward, the experience would be worth it. Jonouchi didn't really want to date him in the first place. But he definitely found him attractive.
"Like I said before, if I were you, I'd want to fuck me too. It's a real shame you weren't prepared for tonight."
"I wasn't expecting to get trapped in a dark office with you," Jonouchi laughed nervously, "Much less did I expect you to be interested. If you want to take a raincheck, I'm game."
He couldn't tell if Kaiba was yanking him around, or actually interested. Maybe he should just give up and forget he mentioned it in the first place.
"Don't you think it's a little odd that you'd want that with me when I treat you like crap?" Asked Kaiba, still looking down at Jonouchi who was lying on the ground, "I'd be a little bothered, if I were you."
"I'm a masochist, remember?" Jonouchi smirked, only half joking. "Yeah, you're a dick. But when you're not being a dick, you're pretty hot. I'm not going to be mad at myself for hooking up with you."
"I think you could do better, honestly."
"Better?" Jonouchi laughed in earnest at that. What an odd idea. Better than Kaiba Seto? Well, he was the world's biggest twat, but still. "You're saying I could do better than a never-touched, "most eligible bachelor" CEO? I'm sure you've seen the magazines. Everyone thinks you're fuckable. Attitude and all."
"Doesn't make it true."
"Why not?" Jonouchi felt distinctly like he was being rejected gently. "I want to have sex with you. If you're interested, then let's go for it."
He was getting more nervous by the second. He wasn't sure if Kaiba was making up his mind, or had already made it up and was just taking the opportunity to pick on him.
"Come on, don't jerk me around. I think I've made myself clear."
"I'm not jerking you around. You might want to sleep with me, but I don't think it's a good idea. Not that you aren't good looking, but... You wouldn't like me very much in the morning, and I don't want to deal with that, so maybe you should go lust after someone who's more worth your time."
"You don't get it," Jonouchi sighed, "Whatever. You don't want to have sex, I understand. You could have just said no thanks."
Jonouchi sighed, resting his hands behind his head. He knew Kaiba was still looking at him. He hadn't moved. Why bother looking? It was too dark to see.
"It's not personal. And I'm sure whatever you're envisioning in your head would be better than the real deal anyways."
"Maybe you aren't giving yourself enough credit," Jonouchi argued, sitting up. He felt too uncomfortable lying there with Kaiba looking at him. "Since when do you have such low self-esteem, hmm?"
"I didn't say I'd be horrible," snorted Kaiba, turning his nose at the ceiling, "Just maybe not everything you'd hope for. So why tarnish that?"
"What, you'd rather I daydreamed about having sex with you than actually doing it? No wonder you're still a virgin," Jonouchi snickered.
Kaiba just rolled his eyes, "Maybe I prefer to believe that sex means more than just trying to achieve an orgasm. It's not my fault everyone wants my dick."
"It's not just trying to achieve an orgasm. It's doing it with someone else. Someone who makes you hot," Jonouchi explained, grinning, "It's not some romance novel shit, but nothing is. Sex is sex, the important thing is whether or not you enjoy it."
"That's really disappointing then."
"How is it disappointing?" Jonouchi queried. Was Kaiba a romantic? That was...surprising, and yet not surprising. "There's nothing wrong with enjoying sex for the feeling. It's part of the creature experience."
"Masturbation does the same thing."
Jonouchi laughed out loud at that. That was probably the least true thing he'd ever heard.
"It definitely doesn't," he purred, lying back down. He definitely wasn't getting anywhere with this, and he didn't want to be too pushy about it. Couldn't say he didn't try, of course, but he wasn't going to keep prodding when Kaiba had already said no. Even let him down easy, surprisingly enough. "Wouldn't it be better to get a more intense feeling with someone close to you? To be able to kiss someone, and sleep next to them?"
"Not if it didn't actually mean anything at the end," remarked Kaiba, sighing, "Or else it's just meaningless. And the next day, once it's over, you'd be stuck sleeping alone again, and then what? Nothing changes."
"It isn't meaningless," Jonouchi sat up again. He couldn't lie down calmly while talking about sex, of all things. "It means something. Just because it doesn't mean what you want it to ideally doesn't make it meaningless."
He could hear Kaiba's breath and realized just how close they were. It made him feel a little uncomfortable. He was probably invading his personal space, too, but he wasn't exactly compelled to stop.
"What about Kitamura? Do you feel anything while with him, or do you just do it because it feels good? I bet he doesn't even stay afterwards... I couldn't do that."
"Don't be so dramatic," Jonouchi felt his face heating up. He wasn't that into Kitamura, but he wouldn't call the situation meaningless. "Just because I do it for the sex doesn't make it pointless. What's pointless about having sex? It's an experience that people enjoy."
"I don't want to expose myself to someone just because. That doesn't sound like an "enjoyable" experience to me."
"You don't make any sense. I'm pretty sure you only think that because you're sheltered," Jonouchi sighed, "And a virgin. I just don't get you..."
He paused, the proximity becoming glaringly obvious again. He felt nervous and clammy.
"Do you really not want me at all?"
"It's not about wanting someone. It's about doing the right thing. And doing the right thing by you would be to not sleep with you. You're always going on about how I use people, and now you're getting upset because I won't. I just don't get you," he said, moving to lay on his back, "But that's fine. I probably never will."
"It isn't using me if I'm asking for it. Like literally asking for it. It's just mutual sex," Jonouchi argued, looking down at where he guessed Kaiba's head was, "Why do you see it that way?"
"We're very different people. And like you said before, I'm a virgin. So I won't get it."
"Kaiba," Jonouchi groaned, resting his elbows on the couch and leaning closer, "Please. I really want to have sex with you."
"I can't help you with that."
"Why, because it would be meaningless?" Jonouchi asked, frowning. "I don't think it would be."
"No," Kaiba said, correcting Jonouchi, "Because I think it would mean more to you than it would me, and I'm not going to upset you while things get more complicated. You like me more than you let on, and I'm not going to screw around with you because you're feeling horny, only to mess with your psyche and find out you couldn't handle it. No thanks. I'd rather avoid that situation, even if you don't think it would happen."
"Do I look like a woman to you?" Jonouchi was slightly offended, but it did make him wonder. Would he get attached? Kaiba seemed to think it was a legitimate concern. Jonouchi wasn't sure.
"You're gay. Even if you're not, the tendencies are there."
"What? That's not-" Jonouchi didn't even know what to say to that. What the hell was Kaiba even talking about? Why was he making shit so complicated?
Dammit, Jonouchi just wanted to have sex with him. It wasn't that hard to understand.
"You won't even try it?" Jonouchi leaned closer to Kaiba's face. He felt the couch shift as Kaiba stiffened in response. "I'm not going to get clingy or whatever. I won't even sleep next to you afterward if you don't want me to."
"Jonouchi, I'm not looking for a quick lay. If I wanted that, I would have slept with hundreds of people before you locked me in this room. Maybe you feel comfortable about being unattached, or think you would be, but I'm not. That's not what I want.
Besides, I don't sleep well alone."
Jonouchi sighed and sat quietly for a few seconds. He was never going to get Kaiba out of his system, was he? There was no way to do it. The guy wouldn't fuck him, they apparently couldn't maintain a fight, and he couldn't bring himself to make permanent distance.
"All right," he conceded reluctantly, "Fine, we won't have sex."
He could actually feel Kaiba's breath blowing against his bangs a little. Jonouchi was tempted to try just going for it, but he had a feeling it would piss Kaiba off. Still, he didn't move. He was indecisive about it. Kaiba might get mad at him later, but on the other hand, he might not get the chance again.
Jonouchi leaned closer, gauging his position by the sound and feeling of Kaiba's breath. The speed of his respiration was picking up, but he didn't move. Jonouchi stopped just short of liplock, trying to reconsider one last time before finally making contact. It was probably the most tentative he'd ever been about a kiss in his short experience. Of course, he'd never initiated before, and Kaiba wasn't exactly eager.
Nowhere near as eager as Jonouchi was, certainly.
When Kaiba didn't try to move away or shut him out, Jonouchi made the kiss deeper, using his own mouth to ease Kaiba's open. He was still in disbelief about what he was actually doing, but it was a little late to stop now. He just hoped Kaiba wouldn't be shy about giving him a shove if he really wasn't into it.
It wasn't about not being into it. Kaiba could certainly appreciate kissing. Although he didn't like people that much, he enjoyed meaningful contact, the kind that bonded people together. It was just hard to have that with anyone, and he didn't seek out being physical with people since he didn't like anyone enough to initiate it. It made him lonely as hell, if he was honest with himself, but he didn't care for a long while.
Now he was lying there stunned. And confused. He wasn't sure what to do about Jonouchi kissing him; it wasn't like he didn't enjoy it, but he didn't want to either. He wanted to shove him off, that was his first instinct since he knew what Jonouchi was looking to get, and he wasn't offering sex, but kissing just felt nice. It wasn't something he had in a long time, and not afraid to open his mouth, he allowed himself to be led, trying to keep his head about him in case Jonouchi thought to do anything more.
He was not going to sleep with him. No, he wouldn't go there tonight. But he could certainly enjoy the physical contact until someone decided to quit.
When he opened his mouth, he could feel Jonouchi's tongue against his, stroking against it and he snorted when it got a little messy. Their lips were damp, and he almost thought about pulling back and wiping his mouth, but Jonouchi was moving, holding onto his face with one hand, and he couldn't manage to move. He felt Jonouchi's nose bump into his, biting his lower lip before his was weight on top of him.
It was a better angle than trying to do it while kneeling on the floor. Kaiba was reciprocating hesitantly, which was more than Jonouchi had hoped for. He let his fingers slide into Kaiba's hair, getting a firm grip without tugging on it painfully. Their lips were starting to get wet, but that was to be expected. Kaiba caught his breath when Jonouchi nipped his lower lip again before leaving his mouth alone and working his way to his neck.
Kaiba still wasn't really touching him, like he was into it but didn't feel like participating. Jonouchi wasn't sure what to make of that, but he didn't want to stop. He left light kisses along Kaiba's neck, nipping him gently and sucking when it suited him. Not enough to leave a mark, since that would probably piss him off, but enough to cause sensation.
He slid his free hand down Kaiba's front, seeking the hem of his shirt. When he found it, he slipped his fingers underneath and ran them up his stomach. He could feel the faint outline of abdominal muscles, and the shape of his diaphragm, before finding the firm surface of his pectorals. His fingers must have ticked a little, because Kaiba shuddered under him. Jonouchi figured that was probably a good thing, unless he was misinterpreting. Hopefully not.
Jonouchi pulled back, sitting up and straddling Kaiba's hips as he pushed his shirt up to his collarbones. Kaiba didn't try to stop him. Jonouchi bent his head and teased his nipple with his tongue when he found it, sucking on the flat surface and holding it between his teeth while he flicked it. Kaiba jumped a little, and Jonouchi heard his breath catch, but it seemed to be done out of pleasure. Kaiba's hands finally moved, resting on Jonouchi's shoulders as he went about his business.
He sat up and held either side of Kaiba's chest, exploring it. He hadn't had a chance to really feel it before, and might not ever again, so he decided to savor it. He ran his fingertips lightly over the surface of Kaiba's torso, circling his navel after finding it. Kaiba was starting to buck up a little bit, and Jonouchi felt heat building up between them. He wanted to grind, badly, but refrained. He didn't want to scare Kaiba off.
Jonouchi bent to kiss him again, and this time Kaiba rose to greet him when he was close. His hands were in his hair, tugging and making a royal mess of it. It was fair. Jonouchi had done the same.
He caught his breath and opened his eyes when Kaiba pulled his head back using the grip on his hair. Jonouchi thought he was being forced to stop, but instead he felt Kaiba's other hand on his hip, directing him to rotate his pelvis. Jonouchi didn't argue. If Kaiba wanted to top from the bottom (lazy bastard) then so be it. He started grinding shamelessly, trying to get as much sensation out of it as he could. Kaiba's erection was very evident through his tight pants, and Jonouchi thought it must be painfully constricting. Maybe Kaiba was into that. There was no telling.
Jonouchi openly moaned when Kaiba forced him to tilt his head to the side and started biting his neck, sucking hard enough to leave a mark, most likely. Jonouchi was too into it to complain. Let Kaiba mark him. It didn't matter to him. It would be a souvenir. He tried to keep grinding despite being forced to bend down. It was difficult, and Jonouchi's hips were getting tired from the effort.
He was a little surprised when Kaiba pushed him, and thought their little tryst was over, but all Kaiba did was tug his shirt over his head. Jonouchi was starting to grind again when Kaiba gave him a genuine shove, forcing him onto his back. Jonouchi opened his legs obediently and let Kaiba between them, moaning when he started thrusting against him. It was significantly better with Kaiba in control. He had a greater range of motion, and was more aggressive than Jonouchi had dared to be about it.
Jonouchi rested his hands on Kaiba's back. His turtleneck was gone entirely now, and Jonouchi was free to enjoy the feeling of his bare skin unimpeded. He let Kaiba lead the kiss, returning the gesture with equal passion. He was trying to arch into the humping, but it was pointless. Kaiba bore down so hard that it forced him flat again.
Jonouchi was starting to sweat, bucking his hips out of instinct more than thought as he breathlessly asked for more. Kaiba wasn't giving; he didn't go any further than fervent kisses and aggressive bites, and very enthusiastic grinding. To give him a hint, Jonouchi found the hem of his pants and circled his fingers to the front to get the belt off.
Apparently that was too much. Kaiba gasped and recoiled, breaking the kiss and pulling away. Jonouchi tried to force him back down, but he wasn't willing to use all his strength, and Kaiba was strong enough to resist.
"No, don't stop," Jonouchi pleaded, "Please don't stop, keep going. Please."
"I already told you I wouldn't."
Kaiba got up, sliding to the end of the couch before grabbing his top that was hanging off the side and putting it back on. His face was strained. He wanted badly to go along with his instincts, but he knew better. It wasn't a good idea, and considering all the shit that was flying between them, he was sure making their relationship even more complicated by adding sex to the mix wouldn't help things at all.
"I'm not going to back out of my word. I'm sorry Jonouchi," he said, looking back down at him while straightening his belt, "But I can't."
"Why not?" Jonouchi tugged at his hair. He was frustrated in a few different ways, now. "We could just keep going. Don't stop now."
"I already explained to you why. Don't make this harder than it has to be, it's not like I don't want to."
He sighed, shaking his head and moving onto the floor. It was hardly comfortable, and grabbing the pillow off the floor, he rested on top of it as his breathing went back to normal. His heart, however, was still beating fast, and his body was tense from the excitement, but that would go away too. Hopefully without the pain of blue balls.
"But I can't. So I'm going to bed. You can have the couch... I am really sorry."
Jonouchi huffed, more disappointed than anything. He couldn't really feel hurt about it, since Kaiba wasn't just backing out because he didn't think Jonouchi was worth fucking. It was his principles, fine. Jonouchi had to respect that. It wasn't worth trying to push Kaiba past his limit for a one-nighter.
Even if he really wanted to.
"It's fine, Kaiba, I'll sleep on the floor," Jonouchi moved carefully down to avoid squishing him, "You don't have to coddle me, and I don't want to take your bed."
His pillow was still down there, and he laid his head on it. Kaiba hadn't gotten up yet.
"I'll be fine on the floor."
"Yeah right, rich guy," Jonouchi rolled his eyes, "Your floor is probably more comfortable than my bed. You can sleep on the couch. I mean it, it's fine..."
Not that he'd mind the company.
"Stop pestering me."
Kaiba rolled so he was on his back, and closed his eyes. He was actually tired from all that effort. Even if it didn't lead to a finish. At least he wouldn't be up in the middle of the night thinking about physics or whatever like he usually did. As long as his sex drive calmed down and his erection would go away, he'd probably end up sleeping well.
Even on the floor of his study. It was certainly less unsettling than his bedroom.
"Fine," Jonouchi grumbled, trying to hide that he was a little pleased, "I was just trying to be polite."
He didn't mind sleeping next to Kaiba for the night. It made him feel less rejected, and that would make it easier to just forget about it in the morning. No bad feelings. In all honesty, they shouldn't have done all that. Jonouchi was starting to realize that Kaiba was probably right, and that the two of them actually having sex wasn't a great idea. Kaiba was too fucking feelings-y about it, and Jonouchi was more into it than he could justify. He'd certainly never begged like that with Kitamura before.
He rolled onto his back to avoid cramping his shoulder and closed his eyes. He had a feeling the next day might be a little eventful, and he'd need his rest. In all honesty, he was pretty satisfied, despite not getting off. Kaiba was being shockingly nice about the whole thing...
Jonouchi was tempted to roll closer to him, but wasn't sure that was a good idea. Wouldn't that just prove what Kaiba had said about him being attached? Maybe he'd keep his big mouth shut and just accept it. Or he'd give Jonouchi a smack to tell him to fuck off.
Worth a shot. Jonouchi scooted closer to Kaiba so they were pressed against each other. He heard a quiet snort, but that was all the response he received. That was good. Kaiba could be amused if he wanted. As long as Jonouchi didn't have to feel alone tonight.

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Ambivalence