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Yami's Mindless Gabble	By : MaruSame Category: Yu-Gi-Oh > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1844 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh!, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-The Book that started madness
- 2-Uneducated Bestality
- 1
- 2
[These are my thoughts, the rest is to your own opinion. This story starts the same way anything else does. No disclaimer, so I�ll help you.
Disclaimer: Don�t own Yu-Gi-Oh!
That was easy, wasn�t it?
To make things straight, I don�t major English, I�m not being paid to do this, I care not if you think I�m being rude, I tried being nice, this is next suggestion on my list of things to do. I also never claimed to be funny; I�m more informative than a comedy act. Read, enjoy.]
[*~---------------------
Three days with his new diary and Yami already had 1/3 full. He had nearly written every fantasy he had ever thought within the book; from the time he and Seth played on his new bed on his 15 birthday, to the time a[the, not a] hot bandit, Bakura, raided him and his body for the night... and Yami enjoyed it.
[Have a few eliminations in this one. First off, since you�re not talking in the diary � you would write out 1/3 (one-third). Do the same with 15, to be a proper author, one must write it out. After birthday, remove the comma � it�s not all that needed since you�re not �quite� making a list. And, poor Bakura was a tomb raider; he didn�t raid the prince to the pharaoh, on that pharaoh�s tomb. I find it hard to believe that such would happen, was Yami out of the palace grounds once more without his guards or a cover to hide whom he was? Also, if he was in the pyramid, then the High Priest and guards are in trouble.
Once a pharaoh is �dead�, the pyramid was filled with several guards and the only one allowed to enter the pharaoh�s chambers was the High Priest � that to deliver food so the pharaoh could eat when his Ka met up with his body once more.]
The sun starting to set, and Yugi out with his friends to a local club for teens, the pharaoh was once again deep within his thoughts... and tonight he had a wild fantasy...
[A wild fantasy? If he were telling stories back from his time, then wouldn�t those be recollection of memories? A fantasy � by terms of dictionary.com would be �The creative imagination; unrestrained fancy.� Once more, we have our three period catchphrases! The readers cheer!]
Just recently, Auzu had gotten a dog for her house. A Greyhound... just looking into the greyhound's deep brown eyes made Yami have old memories of an Egyptian grey[g-r-a-y] hound/jackal mix that used to live within the walls of his palace. Anubis... named after the jackal headed god that the dog looked so much like.
[We meet Auzu. Would someone identify who that character is to me? Is it a close call to Zazu from The Lion King (copyright � of Disney)? Or is it �Anzu�?]
Now, don�t confuse it... Yami had -no feelings- towards Auzu�s dog... not in a coos age. However, he had a story to tell his Hikari about that dog from Egypt...
[That first sentence confused me. Auzu has once more came come again, and what in Ra�s name is a �Coos age�.]
Picking up the diary and flipping to the next empty space, Yami dazed out of the window and into the red, yellow, and orange sky... the mixtures in between reminding him of his loved companion.
[Wow! A run on paragraph that could simply removed that and placing a comma instead, and taking out that sentence about mixtures reminding him of his loved companion. I don�t know about the rest of you, but a red, yellow, and orange dog in Egypt doesn�t sound right, or in comparison.[
Dear Hikari,
I have yet another story to share with u... and I must say that this memory is more wild than the last...
[And we start back with the chat talk. Let�s see. �More wild�, it�d just be �wilder�. Trust, none of these tales are truly �wild�, my near dead corpse of a teacher puts more excitement to we the students then this story does to we the reader.]
Back in Egypt... I had a different lover. I know uve heard of my cousin lover and that hot bandit that �raped� me... but didn�t quite 'cause I enjoyed it. I had yet another lover...
[Shoot me now, but here I go � �uve�, is grammatrically incorrect (beyond what it already is), it should be in the dialogue you choose to use �u�ve�, punctuation besides the period does exist, you just choose to ignore it. Since we�re writing in such, wouldn�t it just be easier to keep the flow going by going ��cuz� instead of ��cause�?]
It was my Egyptian jackal/hound mix, Anubis. His fur was short, but silky to the touch and darker than night... but his eyes, Hikari.... it was his beautiful sunset eyes that I picked him for. He was beautiful...
[Your comma is misplaced it, move it to behind the word �touch�. Now I see, this is a fantasy, not a memory. Never saw sunset dog eyes, nope. Golden, but not red, yellow, and orange. That explains everything.]
And it wasn�t long before he became very -very- attracted to me one day.
[As a big fan of bestiality, a dog does not become �attracted� in a sense of visual performance, but more of�a chance that it is horny. A comma is missing, want to pin it where you guess it goes?]
U see, dear hikari, there was a stray dog running around the palace one day. This particular dog was a female and in heat. Being 16 and in love with dogs as it is, I played around with her a little bit before she ran back into the local town she came from.
[Just because you played with the animal doesn�t mean another animal will be attracted to you. You have a comma problem again; since you are giving unneeded information, just place it after �16�. Played around with? In front of everyone, how sluttish of you.]
Walking back into a palace with a male dog in it and smelling like a bitch in heat is not the best decision... Anubis followed me throughout the day and into the night.... sniffing my hind courters[quarters] and licking it at times.
[You did not need those triple periods, one can do � or is that the lust of the story. Comma problems in this one too. Wow, instead of three periods, you have four, must remember the sentence coming after since it stands out now, ne?]

And this was a day that Seth wasn�t in the palace and I was particularly very horny. 1 + 1 Hikari...
[Books are doing math now? First voice activated diaries, now once with computer brains, what will be invented next?]

Finally, before I could wash the smell of the heating bitch off of me, Anubis caught me in a bent over position. I was merely trying to get a bottle from underneath my new bed... and Anubis wasted no time in thrusting into me.
[Not very dignified, is he? True, you�d think bathing items would be near the Nile in a basket ready to use, but no, he�s naked in his bedroom, fetching those items for himself. Why enslave people in the first place?]
I had no clothes on because I was getting ready to take a bath, so all the better for him...
[Resort back to prior comments. This story isn�t getting better; at least the dog can have fun.]

Despite him being a dog, Hikari, his large length reminded me so much like the length I had been missing all day long... and I couldn�t help but push back into Anubis. Oooohh.... I can feel his claws holding my hips, thrusting into me at a rate Seth had never given me. I was fucked like the bitch I smelled like....
[A dog is bigger than a human, and thicker � at any rate. No preparation, entry would dangerously hurt. If Yami were to thrust back, the dog would bite, a bitch was to merely have her ass in the air, and take it, both would come, dog would pull out, and lick the bitch�s cunt. This ensures that the semen is locked, unable to flow few to confirm reproduction.]
To be a dog�s bitch for a night.... too bad u can�t experience that, hiakri...
[I certainly hope the book doesn�t start to encounter sex anally from a dog. Makes me wonder what this world is coming to.]
Oh yes... because I as write... I can feel Anubis� release into me... but still going; still thrusting. I stain the marble floors with my release, but yet he gives me no time to catch ^ to his pleasure. Anubis licked and nibbled at my back, causing me to scream out, Hikari....
[Eh. The dog will get its knot towards the entrance he is using, then freezes as he spills into the bitch. During the whole time of penetration, you never try to pull away, or end up hurting the dog severely in that motion.]
------

Sorry... I had to get another pen. I broke the last one thinking about Anubis... and how he seemed to treat me like a human after he fucked me hard and faster for 30 straight minutes without stopping... what stamina...
[�Hard and faster�? �Harder and faster�? �Hand and fast�? There are some ideas. Dog would only stop at release.]
Would have put Seth to shame if he knew what my dog could do better than him... me ^^
[Well, that�s why so many people who take up with bestiality enjoy it, because a dog is much cleaner than man. Think about it, when was the last time the man that fucks you washed his dick thoroughly? Two or three times a week compared to the many times a day the dog cleans himself? Face it, against popular belief, the animal in cleaner than the animal you�re sleeping with.]
Anubis seem to treat me human afterwards... smelling my heavy arousal and releases. He licked the mess off the marble floor... and then licked me off as well. He sat down and licked away, sucking from time to time seeming to enjoy my satly[salty] dog treat for him.
[Human is far from it, he�s being a dog, if it taste good, he wants more.]

I remember moaning oh so loudly, arching my back and bucking my hips into Anubis� muzzle. Oh gods, Hikari.... I become so hot off a dog, u now know how much of a true hentai I am...
[Pervert? Nah, not really. The hormones is a speakin�.]

But don�t tell, okay? Good ^^
[Book: �Sure, let me get up on my two legs, walk to one of your friends, and read what you have written!� Having promises from a book, I will never understand the girl population. Especially that of a three-thousand-year-old spirit.]

After my time with Anubis, I decided against taking a bath. I didn�t want whatever was drawing my new lover to me to be washed away. I slept next to Anubis that night... the one night that I actually let Anubis sleep in the bed.
[Wash yourself, put something that taste good where you want to have sex, dog will get the idea, just be patient, to teach the dog the trick, it needs treats, don�t expect sex again so soon.]
I bet he felt special that night...
[My cat feels special when I let her on the bed too. My dog couldn�t care less, when he finds something else entertaining, he�s gone. You�re a bitch, you�re another dogs food tomorrow.]

But my bitch night doesn�t even compare to the thrill of the morning after... when I was still my dog�s bitch...
[Experiment, do this with your dog, see if you want to change all this once you�ve experienced the truth. -.0 I never understood why one guesses then tries or reads. Oh! Right, it�s a fantasy, anything can happen. How could I forget?]
�Yami!!! It�s almost midnight. Turn out the light, now!�
[Gee, bossy much?]
The pharaoh sweat dropped and looked back into the sky. The moon was high and stars shined brightly. It was no longer the sunset that reminded him of his long dead companion. Sighing... and having the largest turn-on ever, he wrapped up the last sentence.
[I know things that turn me on, memories don�t. I�m sure you meant the largest hard-on, but he has a few people he might have to beat for that - say one twice his own height.]

Second thought, Hikari, my next fantasy will have to wait. It�s getting very late... and I might a have a pleasant dream I want to tell u about tomorrow.
----------Atemu

[See, the whole thing was a fantasy, it never existed, we�re reading something like a line plot � it doesn�t exist except in one�s dreams, but that�s fanfiction, you get what you paid. Serious, you pay nothing, you get nothing.]
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Yami's Mindless Gabble