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Twelfth Night... Or Not	By : thelostogg Category: Yu-Gi-Oh > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 4240 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or any of its characters, and I do not make any money from these ramblings. No one technically owns this plot anymore, although it's been done to death by others both more and less talented than me.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
Chapter 2

Jou hadn�t actually been close to Kaiba for nearly two
years, and that had been when he�d stood about thirty feet away from Kaiba at
their high school graduation.� He had
always enjoyed staring at the other boy, whether it was from his customary seat
in the back of the classroom, or on the television at Kaiba�s
latest press conference.� But even Jou had to admit that, after two hours, the novelty was
starting to wear off.�
He shifted
awkwardly, clenching his feet inside the tight beige colored three-inch heels.� It had taken Shizuka,
Yugi, and a lot of beer to coax him into the pantyhose, then Shizuka had taken one look at his hair and forbid Yugi from
ever touching it again.� What followed
was an entire night of rollers, foul smelling chemicals, and a serious abuse of
products that apparently only came in aerosol cans.� Shizuka had been so
pleased with her handy work that she had done her hair, too.� Yugi had been impressed.� He mentioned that he might actually let go of
the idea that everyone in the world needed
a tri-colored highlights.� He swore that Jou and Shizuka could pass for
twins, if Shizuka could talk Jou
into a padded bra.� A comment about how
bad Shizuka�s padded bra looked had gotten a hot
curling iron flung at him.� He still had
a slight burn on his finger from where he�d blocked his sister�s attack.
His disguise was
so complete that he even managed to fool Anzu.� She had recently started working at Kaiba
Corporation, trying to work her way up through the company�s steno-pool,
apparently.� Jou
had approached her in the lobby to say hello, but when he called her by her
first name and acted friendly, she gave him such a ferocious glare that it had
stopped Jou in his high-heeled tracks.� Anzu had very
curtly told him that if she needed help
with directions to the proper office, she
would have to remember that she
was in a professional office and would be expected to display the proper degree
of courtesy the setting called for.� Anzu had then pointed to her name tag and very slowly read
her surname aloud several times, glancing up at Jou
each time to make sure the message was clear.�
Jou hadn�t said anything, and just hurried
away trying not to laugh.� He couldn�t
wait to tell Yugi.� For that matter, he
couldn�t wait to see Anzu�s face when he ran into her
someplace more private and could slip back into his normal loud voice and
accent.�
But even though
he looked the part, he had no idea how to act like a girl.� So he�d just stood there, as still as
possible, as quiet as possible, waiting for Kaiba to finish the note he
intended to send along with a bouquet of crimson roses and a pair of diamond
cuff links that Jou was supposed to have delivered an
hour ago.� Eventually, even staring at
Kaiba got a bit dull.
He tried to keep himself from fidgeting, but
all too soon he found himself humming an old folk song his mom had sung to him
and Shizuka when they were children.� When he felt Kaiba�s
eyes on him, he looked up into that all-to-familiar
ice blue stare and swallowed the next note.�
�Don�t stop,�
Kaiba said with an exasperated sigh.�
�They say music is the food of love, after all.� Sing if you would like, it�s a lovely
melody.�
�Ah, I can�t
sing very well�� My voice is far too
deep,� Jou explained, in the most demure voice he
could manage.�
Kaiba
shrugged.� He crossed out another line on
the page in front of him.� �Then
hum.� If music really is the food of
love, maybe hearing more of it will satisfy this pathetic emotion and kill it
once and for all.� I swear, I�m almost
done��
�Would you�� Jou looked down at his poor, squished feet.� �Would you like help?� I could take a look at it, if you�d like?�
Kaiba stared at Jou with a single eye brow raised.� He held out the sheet of paper without a
word.�
Taking small,
short steps so he didn�t fall over, Jou took the
paper and tried to read the note.� Tried,
and failed.� �Ah, Kaiba-sama,� Jou said softly, �Is this
a business transaction or a personal affair?�
�Personal.� Definitely personal.� Why?�
�Notwithstanding the existence of previous,
outside commitments, it would appear to be of mutual benefit to compose a
schedule of weekly one-hour meetings�� Jou real
aloud.
Kaiba nodded
vehemently.� When he saw Jou�s expression
stay the same, he stood up, turned the paper over, and placed it back into Jou�s
newly manicured hands.�
�Ah, so we can research these developments in
more depth.�
Kaiba nodded
with a bright smile, as though that should clarify matters.�
�It sounds like
a contract, Kaiba-sama.� If this is something you feel passionately
about, maybe you should try something a bit more informal, try opening up a bit
more, to show you�re emotionally invested in what you�re saying��
�Kawai-san�� What relation are you to Kawai Shizuka?�
�Her cousin, on
her mother�s side,� Jou lied easily.� He�d expected that question.�
�What is your
name?� I�m afraid I was distracted when
you were announced��
�Kawai Kimiko,� Jou said automatically,
giving Kaiba his mother�s name.
�Named for your
aunt, no doubt?�
Jou froze and stiffened.�
�I was.� Do you know my cousin well,
Kaiba-sama?�� Temper in check, temper in check, nice girls
don�t punch people, Jou told himself, forcing his
fingers to uncurl.�
�Not Kawai-san,
no.� I went to high school with Jounouchi
Katsuya, though.�
�Oh,� Jou swallowed, �You knew Jou-kun
in high school?�
Kaiba smirked
and shrugged very slightly.� �And from
Duel Monsters tournaments.�
�Ah, that would
explain it then.� Jou-kun
never talks about Aunt Kimiko.� They still don�t get along.�
Kaiba shrugged
again.� �It needs to be informal, then?�
he asked, plucking the note out of Jou�s grasp.�
�Definitely.� And shorter.�
Something along the lines of If
you�re free Saturday, I�d love to take you out for dinner to get to know you
better.��
Kaiba frowned
deeply.� �You don�t think that would be
too much like asking for a date?�
�Isn�t that what
you�re doing?� Jou asked, feeling panicked.
�No, no, not at
all!� I�m�� If you must know, I�m asking for something a
bit more long term.� I guess, well, an
engagement, would be the best word.�
�Have you dated
this person before?�
Kaiba blushed
deeply and stared down at his desk.� �Not
so much dated.� I�m afraid it wouldn�t be terribly
acceptable, socially.� You see,
it�s�� Well, this person��
�Is a man?�
Kaiba deflated
and looked relieved.� �Is it that
obvious?�
�You�re sending
cuff links.� That, and my cousin told me
where I�d be going,� Jou smiled.� �But, just because a relationship isn�t,
well, let�s say conventional, doesn�t mean that you can rush into it any more
than you can a regular one.� Dating would
be a good start, even if you�ve already��
well, spent time with him.�
Kaiba stared at
her for a moment then nodded slowly.� �I
suppose.� Believe it or not, I�m not
terribly good at this sort of thing��
�Would never
have guessed.�� Jou
should have tried to hide his cynicism.�
He really should have.�
Kaiba glared at
him for a moment, then cracked a smile.�
�Could I bug you for advice, then?�
�Ordinarily,
yes, but�� As always, Jou�s stomach
answered for him.� �Excuse me,� Jou whispered, dropping his head again.�
Kaiba
chuckled.� �I�ve kept you here for quite
a while, haven�t I?�
�I am sorry,� Jou insisted, knowing just how un-lady like his stomach
could be.�
�Don�t be.� I�ll tell you what, you help me with this
letter and I�ll buy you lunch to thank you.�
�I couldn�t
possibly accept.� Besides, simple really
is better.� You don�t want to say
everything in a note, otherwise, what would be the point of going on a date?� Although, if I may, silken treads and rubious lips
really need to go.� This person is a man,
after all.�
�Really?� They�re accurate, though.� Once you see him, you�ll know what I
mean.� He�s prettier than most of the
girls in Japan.�
�Really.�
�Oh.�� Kaiba crossed out more, then crumpled the
paper and flung it across the room at random.�
He scribbled on a new sheet of paper quickly, perused it once, then
handed it over.� It was exactly what Jou had recommended.��
�I�ll have it
there in half an hour,� Jou promised.�
�Thank you.�

�*�
*� *� *�
*� *
The Black Clown
was nothing like the Kame Game Shop, where Jou had
spent every weekend and every summer helping Yugi and his grandpa as a
teenager.� It was decorated in a grim,
almost horrific theme, lightened only by the spark of white dice everywhere
they might possible fit.� The effect was
rather like a gothic night club designed by someone with a role-playing
obsession.� Jou
felt stupid walking into the store in a flower-print lace dress and a shop
apron.�� He pushed the front door open
with his hips to avoid jostling the arrangement flowers he was delivering.�
Inside, an
attractive young girl was working the register.�
At least, it looked like a young girl.�
Long silver hair shimmered down a slender form, framing feminine,
charcoal lined eyes.� �Marik Ishtar?�
The feminine
young man looked up at Jou with a sly smile.� Jou held the crystal
vase filled with crimson roses in front of him like a shield.� The cuff links, which likely cost more than
his sister�s entire flower shop, were tucked demurely into the
arrangement.�
�Another one?� Marik asked, before Jou managed
to get a word in.� �You might as well
just take them straight back.�
�Ah,� Jou fumbled as his heel slipped out from under him.� He managed to regain his balance, but it was
a close call.� �I know he might not want
the flowers, but I promised I would deliver these to Otogi-sama
personally.� If he doesn�t want them, I�m
afraid I need to hear that from him.�
The Tomb Keeper
shook his head and sighed.� �You�ve got a
lot of persistence, Kawai-san.�
�Ah, how did��
Marik pushed a button on the telephone beside him.� �Kawai Shizuka is
here to see you again,� he announced.�
�Kawai-san?� a
painfully familiar voice came over the speaker phone.� Jou heard shuffling
and something breaking before the speaker turned off.�
�Shizuka?�� Jou backed away from the counter nervously.�
�Kawai-san!�� Otogi rushed out
from between crowded, dark aisles filled with the latest Industrial Illusions
games.�
Otogi froze when he saw Jou
standing there, holding up the roses like a shield.� Jou relaxed at the
sight, confident that the dice master had recognized him, so he wouldn�t have
to keep up this impossible charade.� His
relief was dashed when he saw the leer in Otogi�s
eyes. ��Kawai-san?� What on earth did you do to your hair?��
Before Jou knew it, Otogi was circling
him, tracing Jou�s new curls with delicate, but insistent, fingers.� �Sure, it looks fabulous now, but wait until
the weather gets humid,� said Otogi, his hands
sliding from Jou�s hair down to his shoulders.�
�You�ll be cursing it then.� Trust
me on this one.�� Otogi
whipped his own curly bangs out of his face only to have his hair fall right
back into the same position.
�Otogi-san,� Jou squirmed out of
the other boy�s reach and held out the vase.
Otogi rolled his eyes.�
�He�s never going to take the hint, is he!�� Otogi set the vase
on the counter without even looking at the flowers or the diamond cuff
links.�
�Jou handed him the
note, which he actually did unfold and read.�
�No four syllable words this time,� Otogi
announced.� �That�s new.�� He crumpled the note and tossed it over his
shoulder, oblivious to where it might land.�
His hands found their way back to Jou�s shoulders again.� �You know the only reason I put up with this
is because it keeps bringing you back to my shop.� Will you finally stay and chat with me this
time?�
Jou tried to smile, but it became more of a grimace.� �It�s really not appropriate for you to say
things like that.�
�Too bad.� Well, take them back, please.� Kaiba knows I don�t want anything to do with
him.�
Jou shifted away from Otogi�s
hands again.� They had found their way to
his back this time.� �If it�s not too
bold, may I ask why?�
Otogi�s arm found its way around Jou�s waist.� �Come for a walk with me?� I�ll tell you, but in return you have to
promise to let me buy you some ice cream.�
�I couldn�t,� Jou repeated the same phrase he�d used to turn down Kaiba�s offered lunch.�
�Just a walk,
then?�� Otogi
pulled him out of the shop, keeping him so close that Jou
felt his hips bump against Otogi�s with virtually
every step.� They walked for nearly a
block and a half caught in an uncomfortable silence.� Otogi looked at the
street in front of them, blushing every time Jou
managed to catch his gaze.� Jou was biting the inside of his cheek to keep from
winching.� His feet really, really hurt.
�I never really
got a chance to get to know you before, when we were caught in Kaiba�s virtual world.�
I�ve always regretted losing that opportunity.� I think we could have been very, very good
friends.�
�I don�t think
I�m your type, Otogi-san.� I�m��
�Kawai-san, just
because I�ve enjoyed the company of men on occasion doesn�t mean that I can�t
lose my heart to a beautiful woman.� And
you are a very beautiful woman, Kawai-san.�
�But Kaiba��
�Is a business
rival.�
Jou felt his stomach fall.�
Gay, straight, or bi, he didn�t know how anyone could turn down someone
as attractive as Kaiba.� Watching the
other man struggle to fit raw emotion into a formal vocabulary had been one of
the most endearing things Jou had ever seen.
�I think he
might feel a bit differently about it,�� Jou tried.�
�Oh really?�
�He was on pins
and needles trying to write the perfect note to send with those flowers.�
�And all he
managed was an invitation to dinner�� I
don�t think so.�
�An armored car
delivered the gift he wanted tucked inside the arrangement, so that should tell
you just how much it�s worth.�
�My own game is
finally going into mass production.� What
do I care about expensive gifts?�
�He cares.� He cares enough that he�s fighting everything
in his nature trying to be romantic.�
Doesn�t that mean anything to you?�
You must have at least liked
him once.�
�I did.�� Otogi smiled
sadly.� �But I�ve never loved anyone. You�re really curious,
aren�t you?�
�Yes.� He�s��
I just don�t understand it.� A man
like Kaiba doesn�t get flustered unless he�s feeling something very
deeply.� I�m sure he�s not the type to
bother with romance.� If he�s willing to
make such an effort�� I just don�t get
it.�
�I liked him
once,� Otogi admitted.� �I�ve always been drawn to beauty, and he is
beautiful.� I know he�s one of the
brightest minds of our generation.� He�s
courageous, loyal, well educated, and we have a lot in common.� Every teenage girl in Japan fantasizes about
marrying him.� But I am not a teenage
girl.� My ties to Industrial Illusions
will put us in direct competition in a few months.� I could not possibly pursue the kind of fling
he�s interested in without sacrificing all of my ambitions.� A girl looking to be a house wife might be
more inclined to take his attempts at being romantic seriously; but, he�s just
manipulative and devious enough, that if I agreed, I�d always be wondering if
he really cared or if he just pretended to care so he could distract me from my
business.��
�That�s it?� That�s the reason?� You think this is a game to get rid of you as
a business rival?�
Otogi shrugged.� �It
doesn�t matter.� Whatever his motives
are, I don�t love him.� But I am very
glad that you�ve decided we can be on speaking terms.� How is your brother doing these days?�
�Jou?�� Jou choked.� �He�s
alright.� A bit anti-social since Mai
Valentine began stalking him, but he�s alright.�
�Mai is stalking
Jounouchi?� Otogi laughed.� �If I had dared to guess about that one a few
years back, I would have expected it to be the other way around.� She could do a lot better than your brother.�
Jou felt his ankle wobble slightly, and instead of fighting
to maintain his balance, he shifted his weight to the balls of his feet,
pivoted so the high-heel of his right shoe was above Otogi�s
foot, and then stepped down hard.� Otogi jumped so far that Jou was
surprised the other man managed to stay on his feet at all.�
�Oh, excuse me!�
Jou said softly.�
�I keep tripping in these ridiculous shoes��
Otogi�s face was read and he was breathing heavily.� �It�s quite alright,� he managed.� �I probably deserved that.� I didn�t mean anything by what I said.� Jou�s a great guy, he really is.� It�s just that Mai Valentine�� Well, imagining her going after Jou is like trying to picture Paris Hilton stalking a
trucker.� They�re not a good match.�
�I�� Jou wanted to
argue.� He wanted to shout.� Most of all, he wanted to grab Otogi�s hand, get it off of his ass, and break his
fingers.� �I have to go,� he said with
barely contained fury.
�But I was going
to buy you ice cream.�
�No.�
�Oh.� Well, wait a moment.� Come back to the shop with me to get Kaiba�s gift.� If
it�s worth so much, it should be returned to him.�
�His gift was
meant for you!�
Otogi rolled his eyes again.� �Alright, I�ll�� Just take it back to him.� I�ll be happy to pay you for your trouble, of
course.�
Jou sighed and stopped a few feet into his escape.� �I�ll take it back to Kaiba for you, but keep
your money.��
�Fair
enough.��
Jou tried to lead the way back to the Black Clown, but Otogi was faster than he was thanks to the heels.� Otogi held the door
while Jou hurried in, grabbed the vase, and hurried
out again.� Jou
stopped in the door, though.� The small
velvet box containing the expensive cuff links had vanished.� Jou looked up at Otogi sharply, then back at the counter where Marik was casually reading a manga
with a full-color cover showing a naked young woman being molested by a
tentacle monster.�
�The gift?� Otogi asked simply.� Jou nodded.� Otogi�s gaze shot to Marik.� �Where is he?�
Marik shrugged.� �Probably
half-way to the pawn shop by now.�
�Is he
sober?��
�Is he ever?�
�That worthless
little�� Otogi
breathed so deeply that his nostrils flared.�
�Kawai-san, I�m afraid I�ve got to go run a quick errand.� Unfortunately, Kaiba�s
gift seems to have been misplaced.� But
if you could return the flowers to him and assure him that I will send his gift
back within the day, I would very much appreciate it.�
Before Jou could say anything, Otogi
took off out the door.�
Jou stared at Marik for a moment,
but the Egyptian was totally buried in his hentai
comic.� Jou
took the flowers and hobbled out, slowly limping back to Kaiba
Corporation.�
He had to take
his shoes off after about a block.� He
got a few strange looks carrying roses and a pair of high heels through the
Kaiba Corporation lobby, but he didn�t slip his tortured feet back into them
until he was being ushered back into Kaiba�s
office.�
When Jou told Kaiba the entire story, Kaiba leaned back in his
chair and interlocked his fingers, as though in prayer.� �That would be Bakura
Ryou,� he announced.
�The thief?�
�Yes.� I don�t know why Otogi
puts up with the two of them.� But he�s
still being stubborn.� Thank you,
anyway.�� Kaiba held up a folded wad of
money.�
Jou looked at the tip, not sure why he felt uncomfortable
taking it.� It appeared to contain
several hundred thousand yen.� �Keep it,�
he said at last.� �My cousin pays me
regular wages,� Jou lied.�
�She doesn�t pay
you to help me, just to deliver gifts.�
Jou shrugged.� �It�s
fine, really.� You seemed really worked
up over this whole thing this afternoon, so I don�t mind volunteering to help.�
�Do you think
you might be able to help me out again?�
I�� Kaiba rubbed his eyebrows while� he shook his head, as if trying to wake up
from an endless dream.� �I know I�m not
doing this right.� Everything I try,
everything I�ve done, it just seems to make things worse.� I don�t even know where to go from here��
To his eternal
embarrassment, Jou�s stomach chose that moment to voice it�s need for lunch
again.�
�And I promise I
wont make you skip meals for helping me,� Kaiba rose
to his feet smoothly.� �You know Motou Yugi, right?�
He called to ask how you did on your first delivery,� Kaiba
explained.� �I promise, I gave you a
glowing reference, though I don�t know why Yugi was calling for Kawai-san.� He also asked me to give you a message.� He said She�s
camped outside, and said that you would know what it means, and that I
should be a gentleman and give you a ride down to his club so he can make sure
you get home safe.�
�Yugi wants to
make sure I get home safe?� Jou asked, almost letting
his voice slip down into his normal tones.�
�Yeah,� Seto�s
eyebrows knitted together.� �He was
giggling a lot.�
�Oh, no.�
�Sounds like you
know Yugi,� Kaiba smiled.� �Come on.�
Jou hobbled after him as fast as he could.� Halfway to the elevator, Kaiba stopped and
stared at him.� Jou
felt the other man�s eyes on him, running from his red curls down to his
feet.� �You went all the way to the Black
Clown on foot?� Kaiba asked.
�Yes,� Jou whispered, trying not to hiss in pain.�
Kaiba knelt
down, gently lifted Jou�s left leg and pulled the shoe off, then removed Jou�s
right shoe the same way.� He kept walking
and tossed the horrid things in a trash can.�
Jou caught up to him right as he pushed the call button for
the elevator.� �What did you do that
for?�
�I don�t know
from personal experience,� Kaiba began carefully, �But I�ve been told that
cheap high heels are a bit uncomfortable.�
�Uncomfortable
would be an understatement.� They�re one
of the most horrible torture devices ever created.�
Kaiba froze as
he reached for the button on the inside of the elevator panel.� �No, no I don�t think so.� I think that would have to be either a device
called the Spanish Cradle or a medieval tool called the Pear.�
�Spanish Cradle?�
�Yes.� A naked prisoner would be forced to straddle
what was basically a sturdy saw horse with the top sharpened, then weights
would be added to their feet until they were slowly sliced in half.�
Jou felt nauseous at the image Kaiba�s
description conjured.� He swallowed the
half-dozen swear words that were making his vocal cords twitch and took a deep
breath.�
�Are you
alright, Kawai-san?� You look pale.�
�You really have
no social tact whatsoever, do you?�
Kaiba looked
sincerely dumfounded.�
�Do me a favor?�
Kaiba stared at Jou with a raised eyebrow.
�Resist the urge
to describe whatever the Pear is, please.�
�But you said��
�You resist the
urge to go into details and I will resist the urge to use metaphors, agreed?�
Kaiba shrugged
as the elevator carried them down.�
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Twelfth Night... Or Not