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Not This Time	By : NihilEtNemo Category: Yu-Gi-Oh > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 5238 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh!, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter Four
� Realizations
Seto�s POV

�What are you
doing here?�

Yami just looks
at me from the other side of my office, standing in the doorway. How did he get
up here? My people are supposed to keep people like him out. Why is he just staring at me like that? Doesn�t he ever blink?

�Kaiba�� He says
finally. �I need to speak to you.�

�I have no urge
to speak to you,� I sneer. �Get out, before I have you removed.�

Those same crimson eyes,
staring at me across the placid field.

I blink. Daydreams? As though my dreams weren�t bad enough� now I�m
having them during the day?

�I�m not
leaving, Kaiba. Not until I speak to you.� He takes a step closer, closing the
door, and I stand up behind my desk. For some reason, I feel� fear. Why would I
be afraid of him? He can�t hurt me. I�m seven inches taller than he is and outweigh him by a couple dozen pounds. I�m not even going to
think about that �magic� crap. I shouldn�t be afraid of him!

It must be my
dreams� I dream of him killing me over and over, hundreds of different ways,
different time periods� but I�m not going to think about that either. I just
suppress the fear and face him silently.

�Kaiba� Seto�.�

�Kaiba.� No one � no
one � calls me �Seto� except for Mokuba! Certainly not this
mini-sized freak who obviously hates my guts.

�Seto, I need
some answers.�

Circling closer to one
another, katana at the ready.

I shake my head
very slightly to clear the daydream away. Pay attention, Seto! �I have no answers for you. Leave.�

Does he have any
respect for my authority at all? Obviously not, if he just ignores me like
this� �Do you remember me?�

�What kind of
baka question is that? Have you finally lost what little remained of your
mind?�

He looks at me
with those piercing red eyes. I don�t think he�s blinked once. �Think, Seto. Do
you remember anything� strange? Anything that isn�t from this
life?�

With a silent agreement, we attack
simultaneously. I don�t want to fight him� I hate my lord for making me, and
his for starting this whole feud. For deciding that it should
be settled by a duel between the two best samurai. To
the death. My death, I�m sure. It�s always my death� Every
time, every life, I die because of him, and yet I love him. I�ve loved
him for years. Finally, in this life, we found each other and were able to love
each other, to actually be lovers� but I can�t disobey my lord. One of us must
die.

I blink once. I
am not, nor have I ever been, a samurai. �No.�

�You�re not
being truthful, Kaiba.� His eyes seem to bore right through mine to see into my
soul. Not that I have much of one.

�I don�t have
any new memories, Yami. The very idea is laughable. I can�t remember something
that never happened.�

Swords clang together again. No� I don�t
want to fight my lover� my love� I HATE you for making me do this! I would that
I could refuse�That I could refuse to fight him� But I can�t refuse� I HATE
YOU!

�It happened,
Seto.�

�I told you,
it�s Kaiba!� Why does he get to me so much? It�s not really that important what
he calls me� But it gets to me like nothing else, like no one else would if
they called me Seto. God damn him�

�It happened.
Try to remember.� He looks at me so piercingly� Blink, god
damn you! Or better yet, get out; I don�t want to remember anything! I
am just fine with my mind as it is!

I cannot refuse my lord� I cannot refuse to
fight him� But I can refuse to draw this out, refuse to make it more painful
than it has to be. I refuse to possibly hurt him in our fight, knowing the
outcome anyway. I will do this on my own terms.

He attacks again, and I raise my sword as
though to block it, but stop mid-motion. He sees what I�ve done a fraction of a
second too late, and I see his eyes widen slightly just before I feel the cold
metal of his blade pierce my chest. That�s the feel of destiny�A drop of my
blood runs down his blade and manages to drip from the guard to his wrist. I
stare at the blood, the same blood I�ve seen so many times� It�s easier than
looking into his eyes.

�No��

I look into his eyes. Tears.
Always tears� �You knew it had to happen�� My voice is choked and quiet. No one
can hear me but him�

�It didn�t have to end this way�� He always
cries when it happens�He�s in denial. It did have to end this way, and we both
knew it.

�Just�� I fall to my knees, off of the
sword. Can�t stay up any longer�It actually hurts worse without the sword in
me. I can�t die yet� he has to promise� �Just� find me��

He kneels beside me. �Yes, you know I will.�
He pulls me to him, and I do my best to hold onto him, but I�m so weak� �And it
will-�

Shaking my head is even hard, but I manage
it. �No, don�t say it. Don�t make that promise��

He looks into my eyes. �It will be different.�

�Never�� My eyes slip closed. �Never
different��

�Never
different��

I open my eyes.
I�m leaning against the desk, looking down at the smooth wood. Was that me? Did
I just say that?

�You do
remember.� I look up to find him standing in front of me. �I knew you
remembered, Seto��

I quickly fall backward,
landing on the floor and pushing myself against the wall. �Stay away from me!�
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