Adult-FanFiction.org : Yu-Gi-OH

I Should Have Helped	By : NihilEtNemo Category: Yu-Gi-Oh > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 3421 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh!, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
I Should Have Helped�

CHAPTER
THREE � WHAT HAPPENED THAT NIGHT

Pegasus helped
Seto stand up, and helped him back toward the bed. He had stopped crying, to
Pegasus�s mixed reactions; the tears made him slightly uncomfortable, as they did
most men� But Seto needed them. That was obvious, at least to him, though Seto
himself probably would have argued the point, called himself weak and hated
himself for them� Again, Pegasus damned Gozaburo to a fiery hell, if he wasn�t
already there.

Seto pulled
away and scooped up the pill bottle that was still lying on the floor, then sat
on the end of the bed, looking at it. �I need to get more,� he aid quietly, as
though reminding himself to do it in the morning.

�What are
they?� Pegasus asked him, sitting beside him. He remembered being curious about
them this afternoon� it seemed like an eternity ago.

�Memory
suppressants,� Seto almost muttered. �I can�t work without them� I can�t function without them��

Pegasus paused
for a moment, then made the decision and put his arm around him. Seto stiffened
for a moment, and he thought he�d made a grave mistake, but the boy relaxed
after a moment. He wasn�t used to being touched� or he was too used to being
touched. Either way, he was making an effort to get past it.

�It must have
been horrible,� he said. �I went out with him for a year and I never knew��

Seto actually
laughed a little, startling Pegasus. �You know he brought home probably fifty
assorted men and women during that year, right? And those were only the ones he
thought would be okay with me � that doesn�t even touch on the hookers he got
or the employees or business associates or random people he went out to meet at
least every other night. Sometimes several in one night, from what I gathered.�

For some
reason, Pegasus had never even considered the idea that Gozaburo had been less
than faithful � he certainly hadn�t
been, after all. Of course, the threat of Gozaburo beating him into a bloody
pulp in a pink suit if he ever found out he had
been unfaithful was very good motivation for fidelity� and in retrospect, his
surprise was ludicrous. The man was a perverted child abuser and horrible
sadist � why should he have been a faithful one?

�You didn�t
know that.�

�No, I
didn�t,� Pegasus said with a small smile. �I should have figured.�

�You should
have,� Seto agreed dully.

�I suppose it
goes to show that you should never be involved with anyone twenty years older
than yourself and fully capable in destroying you any way he sees fit � physically,
emotionally, financially��

�I suppose
so.�

�Those fifty
people he brought home during that year� None of them had a problem with it?�
He was still trying to wrap his head around that particular impossibility. How
could anyone see something like that and not have a problem with it? Surely someone should have called him on it, someone must have been able to get to
the authorities�

�A few did� He
had them killed. Most of them didn�t, though�� He seemed about ready to choke,
or maybe cry again, remembering those that had no problem with his situation�
those that had surely used him as Gozaburo saw fit. Pegasus rubbed his arm
reassuringly, and he started to breathe again. �I don�t think it would have
mattered�� he continued. �Any more than it would have mattered if you had gone
to the police� he was rich, and he was powerful, and he had some good friends.
Or at least some powerful people who were afraid of him. It never would have
gone anywhere. The honest cops who found out would have died or been made to
shut up, and the others would just have been a little deeper in his pocket.�

�I�m sorry
you�re such a cynic at such a young age.�

�You�re not?�

�I�m rather
older than you are.�

�Anyway, I�m a
realist� not a cynic.�

Sadly, Pegasus
thought that was true. Maybe he was sorry that had to be true� or maybe he was
sorry anyone so young had to be a realist at all. Some people went their whole
lives without facing reality, and for Seto to have to do it when he was just a
kid was too cruel.

He let Seto go
and took the pill bottle from his hand, setting it on the table beside the bed.
Seto obediently lay down, and Pegasus patted him once on the shoulder, then
made to leave. Seto didn�t really seem to need him anymore� and he could call
him if he did, if he needed to talk or if he planned on killing himself again�
Suddenly, it seemed like a much better idea not to go. Just stay with him for
the night. He didn�t know how to broach the subject, though.

Seto made it
so that he didn�t have to, as he sat up against the wall at the head of the bed
and looked at him. �Please�� he said, in a voice so unlike his normal cold tone
that Pegasus had to blink. �Don�t go yet� I know this is asking a lot, but
please stay here� I� don�t really trust myself to be alone right now�
Especially since I don�t have any more pills.�

The
white-haired man offered him a small smile. �All right.� He came back and sat
on the side of the bed. �I�m glad you told me that instead of being yourself
and letting me leave,� he said, as Seto lay back down. He didn�t respond in any
way at all, really, let alone return the smile. It was a good idea for him not
to be alone, Pegasus decided� Or maybe that was just because he wanted to be
with him. He didn�t know which it was, but either way, he was glad Seto wanted
him to stay.

Seto was
silent for so long that Pegasus was sure he had fallen asleep. He sat beside
him, looking fondly down at him, thinking that he looked far more innocent now
than he ever had before� no anger, no impatience, just a very beautiful young
man who had seen too much of reality. He looked tired� but that was to be
expected. He wondered just how young Seto was� it was almost impossible to tell
by looking at him. He could have been in his mid-twenties, by looking at him�
or he could have been sixteen. Closer to the latter, of course�

Then Seto
spoke and surprised him, interrupting his pointless train of thought. �You can
say it, you know. I won�t really hate you for it.�

Pegasus looked
down at him silently for a moment, trying to decide if he would be lying, and
decided Seto didn�t really need to hear it.

�Not yet.�

Seto just
nodded. Pegasus smiled a little, almost sadly, looking at him. He didn�t know if
he really wouldn�t hate him for saying it� but he hoped.

Seto turned
onto his back and looked up at him, at first without saying anything, then he
reached up and pulled him down, and kissed him. Pegasus recovered himself and
pushed him away, surprised.

�Seto � no. I
can�t do this to you. I don�t want to be like them, take advantage��

�Please,� Seto
said simply.

Pegasus knew.
Seto understood how he felt, and he was giving him a second chance� a second
chance to help him. If he turned him down, he would never get another chance.
Seto needed this as much as he himself wanted it. He needed to know that it
didn�t have to be like it had been with Gozaburo, that it wasn�t always pain
and humiliation, that it could be good. This was his chance to undo all the
harm his former lover had done. His chance to prove that he wasn�t a coward.
The stakes were high � if he didn�t do this, there might never be another
chance, for anybody, to undo it. And
if, gods forbid, but if, he hurt him�
he would only be finishing what Gozaburo had started. If he were only going to
do this because he wanted his body, it would be better to refuse. If he were
going to run away from the realization of what he�d done in the morning, it
would be kinder never to do it.

But, if he
thought he could stick it through� if he really wanted to help him�

Seto waited
unnaturally patiently while he warred within himself. He had to decide, right
now, how serious he was. It was difficult � he thought he knew, but being
forced to make a decision like this, right now, no backing out once he had made
it�

He nodded
once, and leaned down to kiss him again, allowing himself to enjoy it this
time. It was the third time they had kissed, but it might as well have been the
first. If anything, the talents Seto had displayed while soulless in his castle
were magnified when he was consciously putting them into practice. Pegasus
barely caught a moan from escaping his throat at it, at how quickly Seto gave
into him and how eager he seemed to pleasure him� even knowing that that
eagerness was the reflection of no real emotions, even knowing that it had been
trained and tortured into him� it was so hot. It was beyond hot. It was the
sexiest thing he had ever experienced, and he only broke it off when he was getting
lightheaded for lack of oxygen. He noticed that Seto apparently had no trouble
holding his breath.

�If you�re
sure��

Seto put his
hands on either side of Pegasus�s face and kissed him again. He could have
taken the more dominant role in that kiss if he�d wanted to � Pegasus was too
surprised and overwhelmed to even think of putting up a fight to anything he
tried to do � but the thought apparently never occurred to him, and he did
nothing more than pull Pegasus�s tongue into his mouth and proceed to drive him
insane with his own. Pegasus regained control of himself after just a moment,
and lightly caressed Seto�s cheek, then broke the kiss. He still wasn�t even
quite recovered from the first one.

Seto�s long
fingers were nimbly dancing over his clothes then, swiftly undressing him. He
wondered how many times Seto had done this in the past, how many suits or pairs
of dress pants, or how many dresses, even, he�d removed from their owners�
bodies so that they could use his. He didn�t want to know. He didn�t really
think he could stand to know just how much pain Seto had been through.

With a light
kiss to Seto�s lips, he gently pulled his hands away. �Let me,� he said. This
was going to be as different as possible from everything he�d suffered before.
It wasn�t going to be making Seto pleasure him; it was all about him this time,
showing the blue-eyed angel that it could be good for him too.

Seto tensed
slightly, apparently unfamiliar with the idea, and nodded a little. Pegasus
dropped his now unbuttoned jacket neatly onto the floor, then removed his
string tie and let it fall onto his suit coat. The shirt followed, probably
more quickly than Seto could have done it thanks to his familiarity with the
rather odd outfit.

Seto touched
his chest lightly, and he leaned down to kiss him again, softly, not demanding
anything from him. Those stunning blue eyes were guarded, and slightly fearful,
but it was obvious to Pegasus that he was making an effort. Of course he was
scared. He could only imagine � not that he�d want to � what kinds of horrible
memories this had to be bringing up in his mind, and he was fighting them and
trying to make himself get over it. The elder man felt proud of him, though he
knew he had no right to feel anything of the sort, and not a little admiration.
He didn�t know how well he would be doing in
Seto�s position, but he knew he would never have been able to compare.

One hand
gently rested at Seto�s waist, lightly stroking the side of his stomach through
his thin clothes, the other tenderly cupping his cheek and feeling his soft,
fine hair brush his fingertips. The boy seemed hesitant to touch him, but he
didn�t press it and after a moment his other hand mirrored Pegasus� in finding
his waist. His hands were both surprisingly soft, as though he used lotion,
though he couldn�t picture it in his mind. The fingertips were almost calloused
form years of typing for hours a day, though they rested only lightly on his
skin. He slid his shoes off to land silently on the floor as he lightly moved
away to worship Seto�s pale throat with his kisses, drawing a gasp from him and
a quickening of his pulse pounding in the vein beneath his lips. He doubted he
had ever shown anyone anything like this much care, and he was certain it had
never been shown him.

His hand
slowly slid up Seto�s stomach, earning absolutely no response, to his surprise.
Either Seto was getting past his problem with being touched, or he was a great
actor, or possibly forcing himself along in a state of half-denial. Unsure
which, and knowing he would probably never know for sure, he continued, slowly
unbuttoning the silk from the bottom. Seto barely seemed to notice, though his
hand now on Pegasus� shoulder did tighten almost imperceptibly, as the latter
continued to lightly kiss his unmarred neck.

His stomach
and chest, as his lightly questing hand discovered, were an entirely different
matter. Gentle fingertips found raised or depressed areas of smooth flesh that
he knew would translate into visible scars, were he to look. He didn�t. His
fingers didn�t acknowledge them, and he drew no more attention to them than he
could help. They were bound to make Seto uncomfortable, possibly ashamed, and
he had no wish to do that to him. Any more than he wished for Seto to push
aside his hair and see his own obvious deformity, the eye he had been missing
for some time now.

As he
unfastened the last button at the top of the shirt, he gently slid it aside, to
reveal his upper body completely, and still he did not look, distracting Seto
with a kiss once more upon his soft lips, his hand doing his exploring for him.
There was a tiny gasp as he ran his palm over a nipple, and he repeated the
action, lightly rolling it between his fingertips until it was hard and erect. There
was a slight pleasured squirm from him, barely noticeable.

Seto gently
placed his hands on Pegasus� shoulders and pushed him away. He stopped what he
was doing immediately and pushed himself up to look down at him. Despite his
efforts to take it slow for him, he was probably rushing it, or maybe Seto had
changed his mind�

The brunet let
his shirt fall off as he sat up, sliding from beneath Pegasus. �Wait,� he said
quietly. He obeyed silently, watching him, letting his eye take in the scars
that were indeed obvious on his chest. Yes, Gozaburo had been a cruel, sadistic
bastard� taking advantage of his beauty wasn�t enough; he felt he had to try
and spoil that beauty. He had failed, but that he would even attempt such a
thing was disgusting.

Seto sat on
his knees on the bed, shirtless, and pushed him back to lean on his arms. He
took his hand as he reached to unbutton his pants, though.

�Seto, stop,�
he said. �You don�t have to do this.�

The thin hand
slid from his grasp. �I want to. To� show you what you missed.� He even managed
a tiny, obviously forced smile as he said it. Pegasus lowered his hand after a
moment, allowing him wordlessly to continue. It was getting too strange for
Seto, too fast; he needed to do something to make it more familiar, more
comfortable, and Pegasus wouldn�t deny him that. And though he refused to admit
it, he had been curious for years�

Seto opened
his pants and gently freed his mostly erect member, giving it a skillful stroke
almost absently. Pegasus paused him and shed his pants and silk boxers,
dropping them near the rest of his previously discarded clothes. It was a
carefully calculated move � Seto seemed more than willing to let him retain the
clothes � meant to give Seto a somewhat wider measure of control, being himself
still half dressed.

After offering
him a quick, nearly hesitant kiss, Seto slid off the side of the bed and knelt
before him, gently parting his legs. He had one more moment of guilty
misgiving, before Seto wrapped pliant lips around the head of his erection,
already sucking gently, and he couldn�t quite think about it anymore. He
groaned as he felt Seto�s tongue, nimbly stroking along the slit, reflect
talents his kiss only hinted at. It was bad to take advantage of this � bad to
mentally praise Seto on his ability, knowing how he got that ability � and yet,
he really was good at it. Gozaburo was not a liar, not about this.

Seto watched
him with unreadable eyes, and trailed his hand down his stomach to gently knead
the area not far below his navel. Pegasus stifled another groan and let his
head fall back. That was a new trick to him� he controlled his urge to thrust
into that willing mouth and let Seto practice his art unhindered.

Seto went
slowly � had he been punished for being too fast in his childhood? He could
definitely imagine this taking no more than a minute with Seto � and the effect
of his obvious skills was magnified exponentially with every extra second he
drew it out. Pegasus was wanting desperately to end this by the time Seto
swallowed around him and took him deep into his throat; he couldn�t hear
anything, but he could feel the vibrations that told him Seto was humming, and
not just a single note either. If Seto�s hands on his hips hadn�t reminded him
to keep still, he would have used that talented mouth mercilessly.

A low groaned
escaped him as Seto slowly pulled away, and he was breathing heavily as he
forced his eye open to look at him.

�Do you want
me to?� Seto asked quietly.

His first instinct
was to yell �Hell yes!� He did want, so badly. But looking at Seto, he was
reminded of why he was doing this, and he forced himself into
respectability, sitting up a little straighter and pulling himself together.

�Whatever you
want, Seto,� he answered. �This is all yours. What you do is completely up to
you. You can stop now if you want.� It was true� though he prayed he wouldn�t.

Seto seemed
thrown off. Not only did he, for the first time, have a say in what he did, but
he could end it if he wanted � the feeling was apparently unfamiliar. It took a
moment before he would speak.

�Honestly, I�d
rather you��

Pegasus nodded
and took Seto�s hand to pull him to the bed. Seto sat beside him where he was
placed, like a doll, or a catatonic mental patient, which was a disconcerting
image that he tried to banish from his mind. Gently, he turned Seto�s face and
kissed him again, loving how he kissed him back, so fully. His prominent
erection throbbed again just at the kiss. He needed something, soon�

Seto sat back after Pegasus broke to breathe, his
hands immediately working at his pants and sliding them down, his face
reflecting absolutely nothing. The leather slithered to the floor from the edge
of the bed, and Pegasus put one hand atop Seto�s just before the boxers joined
them.

�Seto?�
Slightly dull blue eyes looked up to meet his own single orange-brown orb,
hands stilled. �You don�t have to.�

�No�� Seto
said, eyes regaining a little expression. �I need to. Please.�

He nodded and
pulled his hand back, and Seto swiftly stripped his last remaining barrier
away, exposing himself to the other�s scrutiny, should he choose to scrutinize.

The elder man
had no intention of inspecting Seto at all � he already knew all he needed to,
and that was that the boy was beautiful � but his eye couldn�t help being drawn
to the scars running in almost patterned intervals, over his entire body below
the neck. His chest, arms, legs� Some of them looked like they might have been
cause by barely-averted attempted murders. Had Gozaburo actually tried to kill
him? Or made him think that that was what he was going to do?

�I�m sorry,�
Seto whispered; Pegasus looked up to find dulled, sad blue eyes watching him,
flicking instantly to the bed once he realized he was caught looking. �I�m
hideous.� And yet, he made no effort to hide his body, allowing him to see
every visible vandalisation of his perfect skin. It was as though someone had
tried in vain to deface the sacred altar of an esoteric pagan religion, but he
ancient magic still made itself known�

Pegasus shook
his head and pulled Seto closer to himself. �They�re only scars.� He kissed him
lightly. �I have my own. Don�t dwell.� Gently, he pushed Seto down to the bed,
meeting no resistance. His hand traveled down Seto�s abused chest, over his
stomach, as he lay beside him and kissed him just lightly.

Pegasus
discovered the brunet�s nearly fully-erect member and brushed it lightly,
earning a tiny noise from him. It didn�t seem right, though.

�You�re not actually
enjoying this, are you, Seto?� he asked, his hand resting lightly on the
other�s flat stomach.

�Of course I
am,� Seto replied immediately. �Why wouldn�t-?�

�The truth,
please,� he said quietly, meeting his eyes.

Seto�s eyes
met his evenly. �No; it�s a Pavlovian response. Ring a bell, the dogs� mouths
watered. I suck a cock, I get a hard-on.� He sounded as though he was
discussing a mildly interesting experiment, not a serious issue he had to deal
with.

�So none of
this does anything for you.� It was not precisely a question, merely a
statement of very sad fact, at the most looking for confirmation just to be
certain.

�Very little�
and very little I want to feel��

Pegasus looked
at him sadly. �No one�s ever tried to give you pleasure��

�I think a few
of the ones who felt sorry for me did.�

And the
implication was that it obviously didn�t work. Tenderly, he stroked his thumb
along Seto�s cheek, watching him absently. �I�m sorry,� he said finally. �Maybe
this was a bad idea.�

Seto took his
hand and stopped it from moving. �I need to try,� he said quietly.

Pegasus pulled
his hand up and squeezed it gently, then dropped his hand and kissed him
softly. �I have only one request.�

�What?� Seto
asked. He didn�t look scared of it at all, despite all the freakishly perverted
things he could have requested. On the contrary, he looked relived. He needed
to have direction.

�I don�t want
you to act, or pretend, or do what you think I want you to. I want you to react
only if and when � and how � you feel the need to.�

Seto swallowed
once, then nodded. Pegasus understood that that would be hard for him; he�d
have to turn off every ingrained instinct to be a good little� what was the
Japanese term? � uke. But he knew he could do it.

Tenderly, he cupped
Seto�s face and kissed him again. There was a slight hesitation, then he kissed
him back. Not because he wanted to, Pegasus was fairly certain, but because it
would be rude not to. He could live with that, he supposed.

For the first
time, Seto�s icy blue eyes fell closed, cutting himself off from the world and
concentrating on what he was feeling. Trying to turn it into something he could
enjoy, no doubt. He was sure to be gentle as he kissed him, then trailed his
lips down Seto�s jaw and to his neck. There was no reaction from the brunet
beneath him. Of course, he knew this wouldn�t be easy� but he could hope.

Slowly, he ran
his hands down Seto�s body, drawing a small shiver that he was not quite stupid
enough to misinterpret as pleasure. He abandoned that pursuit and gently took
one of Seto�s hands in his own, bringing it to his lips to kiss the smooth skin
on the back of it. Blue eyes opened in surprise and looked at him; he smiled
slightly at him and kissed his hand again, moving on to kiss the tip of each
finger in turn.

So beautiful �
Seto looked so tragically beautiful. He was painfully hard still, even though
it was sobering to know that he really wasn�t doing anything for Seto. He
wished he could make him feel as good as this was supposed to feel. He wished
he could undo everything that had been done to him and give him a normal life.
He couldn�t, he knew, but he would only try that much harder.

A moment of
quiet consideration intervened as he calmly met Seto�s eyes, watching him relax
almost imperceptibly as he didn�t threaten him any further, giving in to the
new sensations. After that moment, he lowered Seto�s hand and ran his hand up
Seto�s arm and to his chest, lightly pulling on a single pinkish nipple. With
his other hand, he lightly sucked on two of his own fingers for a moment, even
as Seto�s eyes closed once more and he barely reacted at all, only a slight
change in his breath. He wasn�t at all certain if that was an encouraging or
discouraging sign, so he only let it continue long enough to make sure the
digits were slicked and remove them.

He kissed Seto
once again, enjoying the automated response he gave him, then pulled back
lightly. �I�m sorry about this,� he said quietly, as he gently circled the
tight ring of muscle around Seto�s entrance before slowly pushing in one
finger.

Seto tensed
immediately, and he kissed him gently, letting him get used to it. He hadn�t
experienced this in years, of course, and he had never experienced any
desirable pleasure from it. Chances were, he would hate this no matter what he
did, but he was going to do his best not to make it any worse for him than it
had to be. �I�m sorry,� he whispered again as he kissed his jaw near his ear;
Seto shut his eyes once more, taking a somewhat deeper breath than normal and
relaxing slowly.

Slowly, he
began to move his finger, gently stretching him slightly. Seto didn�t react at
all, and he slowly inserted the second finger, gently stroking his palm and the
inside of his wrist with his free hand. The attention to his hand seemed to
relax him somewhat, probably because he couldn�t associate it with anything
that had happened to him before. His eyes were still closed, though.

It took a
while to stretch him properly, as careful as he was. As he finally pulled his fingers
free and positioned himself to take the final step, he gently took Seto�s face
in his other hand and stroked his cheek. �Look at me,� he said quietly. Slowly,
Seto�s eyes opened and looked up at his. They were nearly as blank as they had
been at Duelists� Kingdom.

�Look at me,�
he repeated. �See me. Don�t think of any of the others. Don�t remember any of
the others. Don�t see any of the others. See only me, and know that I would
never hurt you. Ever.�

Seto swallowed
once, then nodded slightly, his eyes firmly open and firmly affixed to the
other�s face. Pegasus offered him a small, encouraging smile, then slowly
pushed his way forward, keeping his eyes locked on Seto�s. He paused with the
head of his member encased in Seto�s tight warmth, though he saw no evidence of
any real pain; his care and gentleness had paid off.

Repositioning
Seto�s legs to make him more comfortable � the boy wouldn�t do it on his own,
for obvious reasons � he slowly slid forward again, until he was fully seated.
Seto looked as though he wanted to shut his eyes again, but he didn�t; he was
too well trained for his own good. His forehead fell to rest against Seto�s,
cutting the distance between them to almost nothing.

�I would never
hurt you,� he repeated quietly.

Seto let out a
small breath, his body relaxing just slightly. He found it utterly amazing, but
Seto apparently believed him. How he could believe him was a complete mystery.
He had done so much to hurt him, and here Seto actually believed what he was
saying�

But he meant
it. He had never wanted to hurt Seto, and he never would again, for any reason.

Still without
closing his eyes � obeying Pegasus� order � Seto almost tentatively lifted his
hands and wound them under Pegasus� arms to grip his shoulders from behind.
Pegasus gently leaned down to kiss him again, finally beginning to move and
give himself, at least, the relief he was so desperately keeping from himself
for Seto�s sake.

There was very
little reaction from Seto, but he kept his eyes locked with a steady gaze, not
letting him forget where he was or who he was with. A slight tightening of
Seto�s hands rewarded him as he began to quicken his pace, but nothing more
substantial greeted him. That didn�t even mean much; Seto�s body was trained to
react, and he needed release as much. Likely, it was nothing but a physical
reaction to his physical need, no reflection of any emotions he might have been
feeling.

With a slight
shift, he pressed his lips to Seto�s again and pushed in again at a slightly
different angle. He was rewarded with the knowledge that he had found the
prostate by a sharp gasp muffled in their kiss. Seto�s hands tightened
noticeably on his shoulders, and he quickened his pace again, knowing it was
what Seto � or his body � wanted. Also knowing that he himself couldn�t last
much longer without it.

The brunet�s
body arched beneath his in a silent plea. Apparently Seto had forgotten what he
said about not reacting unless he wanted to; he could understand that, and was
almost surprised he had managed to crush his training for this long. At this
very point, it didn�t much matter to him anyway. It wasn�t as though he could
still have stopped any longer.

Seto gasped
again with a slight noise as he struck the same spot again; even the sounds
he made were beautiful. He leaned down to kiss him again, moving one hand from
its supporting place on the bed to slide between them and expertly grip Seto�s
straining manhood firmly, stroking him along with his increasingly erratic and
needy thrusts into him. He had held back for as long as he could, but his
gentleness was disappearing.

Seto�s breath
panted harshly in his ear as he moved his body into the movements. Pegasus gave
him another kiss, somewhat less neat on both parts, and panted the words �I
love you,� into his ear, giving an almost harsh squeeze coupled with a deep
thrust. Seto stiffened and arched into his grip, his release spurting from
Pegasus� hand over their stomachs. Pegasus moaned quietly and gave a couple
more shallow thrusts before he toppled over the edge, spilling his release deep
into Seto. Panting, he moved himself away to fall onto the bed instead of the
skinny teenager beneath him.

It was a good
ten minutes before he was fully cognizant of anything again, and he rolled onto
his side to look at Seto. He wasn�t sure how long it had taken him to recover,
but it hadn�t been long; Seto was lying on his side with his back to him,
giving him a full view of every scar that marred the sleek surface. For a
moment, he just looked at him, before pushing himself up on one arm to look
down at his face.

He was lying
with his head on his arm, staring sideways at apparently nothing whatsoever. He
didn�t look at all as though it had helped.

�Seto�� he
began, but trailed off. He really didn�t know what else he had to say. Seto
didn�t respond to him, and he lightly touched his arm, rubbing his hand over
the prominent scars. There was no response to that either. �I�m sorry,� he
finally finished. It seemed appropriate.

�No�� Seto
said slowly, as though thinking, still not moving except to speak, neither
blinking nor looking up at him. �No� I think it helped��

Pegasus
inspected him for a moment. To be perfectly frank� �You don�t look like it
helped.�

�I�m not going
to lie and say I�m okay� But I think I might be, eventually.�

Pegasus rubbed
his arm again, silently approving of his candor. �And what if you�re not,
eventually, okay with this? What about� women?� No one should be deprived of a
sex life entirely� as much a waste as he thought it would be for Seto to be straight,
it would be better for him than nothing at all�

Seto visibly
flinched. �I� no. Never.� He shook his head slightly, his eyes finally once
more closed. �No.� Pegasus remembered what he�d said; Gozaburo had brought home
both men and women. He could only imagine what that had done to him.

�I
understand,� he said. �I hope you�re all right.� Seto said nothing, and he only
looked at him for a while. Finally, he ran his fingers lightly through his hair
with one hand while he wormed a blanket free and pulled it up over him with the
other.

�Why did you
trust me?� he asked. �You believed me when I said I wouldn�t hurt you��

�I remembered
Duelists� Kingdom.�

He frowned
slightly. �I hurt you immensely at Duelists� Kingdom. You should never trust me
again after that��

�You�ve never
had your �soul� removed, have you?� Seto asked blankly.

�No.�

�You�d know
what I meant� it�s not like you�re not there. It�s� more like you have no will
to do anything. I was completely aware of what was happening to me� I just had
no will to do anything about it. I didn�t want to do anything� I was just
there. I saw what you did. You fought with yourself, and eventually you
defeated yourself, and you didn�t do it. I appreciated that. I trusted you to do
it again, if you had to.�

The entire
explanation was delivered in a flat voice, as though it didn�t quite matter.
Pegasus was still slightly reeling from the revelation that those he had taken
their souls from were still aware of their surroundings. If he�d known that, he
would have done most of it differently� it was embarrassing, like suddenly
discovering a camera in the empty room in which you had been singing, with
appropriate air-guitar accompaniment.

�I kissed you,�
he said finally. �I never should have��

�That�s one of
the more pleasant things that has ever been forced upon me,� Seto told him. �Don�t
beat yourself up over it. I really can�t blame you.�

Pegasus fell
silent, just watching Seto watch nothing. That poor boy� This really hadn�t
helped him at all � and the problem was that Pegasus had enjoyed it immensely.
He was no better than Gozaburo and all the others now; he had used Seto for his
own pleasure without giving him anything back, though he had tried. He had
taken advantage of a depressed, suicidal, traumatized teenager�

He wondered if
Seto would try to kill himself if he left. He wouldn�t be at all surprised. He�d
done nothing but bring up bad memories; he should have refused when Seto asked
him � begged him � to do it. He had only done it because he�d wanted it, not to
be kind to Seto in any way� he was a monster like Gozaburo�

�Seto,� he
asked finally. �Is this the end of it?�

The brunet
still didn�t look up at him. �You�re the one who warned me against getting
involved with someone twenty years old than me and fully capable of destroying
me.�

Touch� �How
old are you?�

�Eighteen.� At
least that made Pegasus feel a little better� he wasn�t actually a child, at
least.

�Then I�m only
seventeen years older than you,� he told him primly. The corner of Seto�s mouth
twitched upward in what might have been a small smile. �And besides that, I
doubt I could destroy you in any way, even if I wanted to. Which I never will.�

Seto lay there
for a moment before speaking. �Why are you doing this?�

�I already
told you,� Pegasus answered quietly.

Seto nodded a
little but said nothing at first, either to reject or accept him. Pegasus sat
patiently, waiting for him, for whatever he was eventually going to say. He
wasn�t going to leave, no mater how long Seto sat there, not because he was
anxious for an answer he was sure was destined to be in the negative, but
because he really didn�t think he could be left alone safely. He had said he wouldn�t
hurt him, and that included leaving him to be hurt by inattention.

�Will you help
me?� Seto asked finally. His voice sounded so small and helpless� How could
anyone resist that plea? No one was that heartless.

�Yes,� Pegasus
said simply. He reached over and took Seto�s hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

Seto closed
his eyes and nodded.
- 3
- 4
- 5
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

I Should Have Helped

I Should Have Helped�