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If It Takes Forever, I Will Find You	By : Rroselavy Category: Yu-Gi-Oh > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 4422 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh!, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Title: If It Takes Forever, I Will Find You (3/6)
Author: Rroselavy
Rating: NC-17
Pairing(s): Seto/Jou
Beta: Akuchan
Final Word count: 3151 (10,710 total)
Spoilers: None, AU
Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from Yu-gi-oh!
Summary: It has been almost a year to the day since Kaiba Seto last saw his lover Jounouchi Katsuya. At the realization that Jou may be gone for good, Kaiba sets off on a cruise vacation to begin the healing process.
A/N: Thank yous below
Chapter 3: Endure
"Love cannot endure indifference. It needs to be wanted. Like a lamp, it needs to be fed out of the oil of another's heart, or its flame burns low."
-- Henry Ward Beecher
Kaiba woke up the next morning, his eyes still swollen from the tears he'd shed the night before. He could not remember ever crying so hard, or ever feeling so utterly abandoned. Even after he'd been orphaned he'd had Mokuba to share in his grief. Now he was completely alone--he could not bring himself to call his younger brother and pour out his miseries to him from halfway around the world, nor did he have any other family or friends with whom he could unburden his heavy heart. He thought about Jounouchi who at that very moment was equally as alone in the world and his chest was consumed by an exquisitely dull ache.
He knew that he had to accept the lion's share of the blame for the events that had transpired. He berated himself for being so insensitive to his lover and so blind to what was going on right under his own nose. He would never forgive himself for dismissing Jou's reservations so easily and for cajoling him into playing the role of adoring partner. He'd taken Jounouchi for granted--believing that he'd invested far more into their romance than the blond would ever manage--when the reality had been that it was Jou who had consistently made the compromises that the success of their relationship rested on. It was Jounouchi who dropped everything and anything at a moment's notice to tend to Mokuba, inform the staff of last minute dinner guests, and who attended to any of the myriad tasks and errands that cropped up throughout any given day that Kaiba deemed essential to be completed. Kaiba knew that if he'd taken the time to analyze every facet of their personal life, that despite his lack of financial contributions, Jounouchi had been more than an equal partner.
In short, Jou had altered his life until Kaiba and Mokuba occupied its center, whereas the CEO had simply accommodated his lover and scheduled him in on his agenda, as he would have any other obligation. The dynamics of their relationship had slanted the playing field; advantage Kaiba Seto. That had been very wrong and now he wondered if he would ever be given the opportunity to rectify it. He winced, thinking of all the opportunities he'd squandered to reassure his beloved how much he was cherished and loved.
It had been a mistake to think that he had meant more to Jou than Jou had meant to him. What had really been the case, he realized in retrospect, was that Jou had been far more skilled at demonstrating his devotion to the CEO. After weathering the blistering abuse heaped upon him by his stepfather, Kaiba had become squeamish about openly expressing his feelings, and often he had found himself more than a little embarrassed by his lover's shameless exhibitions of affection. Now the brunet found that it was that part of his relationship with Jounouchi that he felt deprived of the most. While their sex life had been both spine-tingling and breathtaking--Jou had never failed to excite and enrapture Kaiba with his sense of adventure in the bedroom and had an appetite for making love that at times left the brunet reeling--he found that it was the knowledge of being ~loved~ that Jou never failed to remind him of that he missed the most. It was the little moments--the lingering touches, the passing glances that made his stomach flutter and groin ache in desire. It was the breakfasts Jou served to him in bed after the CEO had toiled late into the early morning hours. It was the bubble baths that Jou would force him to soak in and endure the blond's ministrations over his tired body with both loofah and washcloth.
He was guilty in the knowledge that Jounouchi had given so much to him, and yet had asked for so little in return. And just what ~had~ he given to the blond? He had thought that the creature comforts afforded to the partner of one of the wealthiest men in the world should have been enough of an exchange, but now in the cold light of the morning, he realized how miserly that truly had been. Even in their carnal bed, he'd withheld a part of himself; never fully giving in to the vocalizations that he'd known his lover sought from his lips. In his desperation for control, he'd never been able to open up to his beloved and reciprocate in full, and that knowledge filled him with remorse.
He could see now that it hadn't been too great a leap for Jounouchi to think that once Matsuki had sprung his trap, the brunet would choose to protect Kaiba Corp. and, by extension Mokuba, over his hot-tempered lover. Further, knowing Jou's fanatical need for independence--to prove that he was capable of taking care of himself--the brunet understood exactly what had led Jou to that hotel room. Kaiba reflected belatedly that while Jou had easily seen through Matsuki's ploy in the stalled negotiations of selling his company to Kaiba Corp., he'd blindly played into the bastard's hands when he himself had been the quarry. But now the time had come to exact revenge, Kaiba thought grimly. Perhaps in that act, Jou would see that Kaiba ~always~ took care of his family, and that despite the brunet's inability to demonstrate it, Jou's place in the Kaiba family had indeed been front and center.
As far as he was concerned, Kaiba had enough evidence to go after Matsuki and make him suffer, but the CEO was not satisfied to ruin him alone; his rage knew no bounds. He also wanted to ensure that the humiliation of the other CEO would be complete, and for that to happen, he needed to uncover undeniable proof. He knew that the movie clips he'd seen had been artfully edited-somewhere there existed raw footage, and he had a good idea where it could be found-the main server for Matsuki Inc. He would hack into it himself and have a look around.
* * *
In the end, Kaiba had found that the revenge he exacted in no way diminished the sense of loss he was plagued with on a daily basis, nor did it quench the blood lust that had driven him to seek retribution. It had been far too easy to bring Matsuki to his knees. He was a victim of his own hubris, his own belief that he was untraceable to the events on the movie clips. Kaiba had been able to find the files he was looking for within minutes of hacking into the Matsuki company server. The raw footage had confirmed the identity of Jou's rapists and proven beyond a reasonable doubt in Kaiba's mind that he'd not been a willing participant. Kaiba had watched, his heart breaking, as Jounouchi was reduced from his proud lover to a sex slave, all to protect the Kaiba brothers from any hint of scandal or wrongdoing on his part. He left Honda to deal with the prostitute on the tape, certain that the other brunet would be as thorough as he would be in his quest for revenge.
Kaiba vowed he would take everything away from the other man. He would leave him with nothing. He knew at any given time the edited clips could be made public and would serve to embarrass him greatly. He had to be pre-emptive. As much as it killed him inside, he knew his only recourse was to go public with the unedited footage, which clearly showed that his lover was forced into the degradation depicted in the movie. The CEO knew he could not go to the police with his ill-gotten evidence--it would never be admissible in a court of law. Instead he would try his case in the court of public opinion; that would help him destroy the man responsible for hurting his lover. He called a news conference at which he played the unedited movie to all the reporters in attendance from every major media outlet in Japan. When it was done, the silence in the room was palpable, before a reporter for the Daily Times quietly addressed him.
"Kaiba-san, where is your partner, Jounouchi-san right now?"
"I do not know where Katsuya is." He replied evenly. "He has been missing for weeks. I am hoping that by going public, the men who were involved in this crime will be brought to justice and my ... lover will come home." He felt a tear slip from his eye.
There was a murmur through the crowd as other reporters gained confidence and began firing questions at the CEO. He patiently answered each and every one, knowing that the more he spoke the more sound bytes he was generating-sound bytes that would be played over and over for weeks. Kaiba was confident that the ripple effect would both humiliate Matsuki and hurt his pocketbook. He was right, as usual. The Matsuki Inc. stockholders were the first to feel the fallout from it. The stocks nose-dived almost immediately as censored versions of the movie clips hit the national TV news. Matsuki was stripped of his position and forced to resign with no compensation. The damage his actions had caused his company had violated the agreement of the deal he'd negotiated for his golden parachute.
The brunet remained unsatisfied by his preliminary attack. As Matsuki Inc. struggled to stabilize, he continued his offensive by making a low-ball offer to buy it outright. The board of directors, eager to distance themselves from the scandalized ex-CEO, jumped at it, and Kaiba Corp. was able to buy the plant for pennies to the dollar on the offering Kaiba had initially made.
His first action as the new owner was to divest the Matsuki name from the newly acquired company. He knew the symbolism would not be lost on the other man, in fact the brunet had hoped that his actions would provoke him into seeking retribution. When there was no public reaction from the other man, Kaiba pushed a little further. He needed to make him suffer more for what he'd done.
He'd always been an incredibly astute businessman, and early in his career he'd invested in a multitude of different industries, including mortgage brokering. He knew that the house Matsuki and his family lived in had been heavily mortgaged after he lost his position. So Kaiba directed one of his mortgage companies to buy the bank that held the mortgage to Matsuki's house. He noted that the house was in his wife's name, no matter--he instructed that the note be called in immediately.
That got Matsuki's attention. He called Kaiba directly--he was irate that the brunet would stoop so low as to destroy his family.
"You should have thought about the consequences of your actions before you decided to hurt what was mine. Did you really think I'd let you go unpunished?" Kaiba replied coolly.
"You better watch your back, Kaiba, next time it'll be you or that cute little brother of yours. I've nothing left to lose now--you've taken it all from me."
"You have no idea how much more you have to lose, Matsuki, and I hardly think you're in any position to threaten me with harm."
"It's not a threat you bastard, it's a promise. When you least expect it, I'm going to put a bullet through your pretty little head. I hope you're little fuck toy was worth your life."
Kaiba bit his tongue; he needed to keep a level head. He'd gotten what he needed. He'd recorded the bastard threatening him. Anything more would be icing on the cake.
"You don't have the guts Matsuki. You're nothing but a coward."
"We'll see about that, won't we? And just so you know, once you're out of the picture, perhaps I'll look Mokuba up. He'd make a nice little pet."
"Why don't you worry a little more about taking care of your family while you still can. I hear that they're hiring at McDonald's."
"Just you wait Kaiba, I'm going to get you for what you've done-"
Kaiba hung up and shook his head. It had been way too easy to crush the bastard. He hadn't suffered enough. He decided to poke Matsuki a little further--he called the police to alert them to a threat made on his life.
* * *
One morning about two weeks later, Kaiba's secretary buzzed him nervously.
"Kaiba-san, there's a woman here who insists on seeing you. She's very upset. She won't leave. She says her name is Matsuki Kaede."
Kaiba smirked at the name. The bastard's wife wanted to see him.
"Send her in, please." Kaiba took his seat at his desk and began to peruse some of the projects he'd been overseeing.
"How could you have done this to my husband?" the woman shouted as she entered his office.
"He brought this all on himself," Kaiba responded coolly without bothering to look up.
"You've destroyed him. There's nothing left of the man I fell in love with!"
Kaiba snorted. "I did nothing of the sort. Unless you fell in love with a monster, he'd changed long before I did anything to him."
"You're right," she admitted. "But your father caused him much heartache. His actions filled Haru with hate."
"My father?" Kaiba asked, momentarily confused. He glanced up at Matsuki Kaede and was immediately struck by how well put-together she looked. It was obvious she'd taken care to make a positive impression on him. The older woman was dressed impeccably, her jet hair pulled back in a severe chignon, with minimal make up applied to accent her fine-boned features. She wore a modest light olive-colored business suit and was adorned with very little jewelry. Her black eyes sparkled with unshed tears.
"Yes, Kaiba Gozaburo. He destroyed Haru's mother."
"He. Is. Not. My. Father." Kaiba spat. "I am not responsible for what he did!"
"No you are not. But Haru could not forgive or forget what happened. You see, his mother worked for Gozaburo as one of his personal secretaries, and they had a brief love affair. When she broke it off, he fired her. But Gozaburo was a vengeful man, and if he couldn't have Nozomi, no one else would-it could never be proven, but shortly after that, she killed herself. When Haru's father went through his wife's belongings, he came across a letter from Gozaburo-he threatened to kill her family if she did not resume the affair."
He was stunned by Kaede's words. He had assumed that Matsuki bore some grudge against him-he had made many enemies in his own right over the years as he'd flexed his influence to gain what he wanted. But this had been a vendetta against his stepfather-the man who'd made his own childhood a living hell. And now he'd lost the love of his life because of him. He would never be truly free of his stepfather's shadow, he thought miserably.
"That gave him no right to hurt Jounouchi." Kaiba replied, his anger building. "He deserves everything that has happened."
"No, of course it didn't, and I understand Kaiba-san why you did what you did to my husband. But you didn't stop there. Now you're hurting my children. They have no father and we no longer have a home. You're heartless, you are just like your father."
Kaiba's eyes blazed at her as he growled, "That's not true! I did have a heart at one time but your husband ripped it from my chest the day he raped my lover."
"But we are innocents. How could you destroy my family--my children?" She implored.
"Jounouchi was innocent too, but that did not stop your husband from setting out to destroy him to get to me. Let me tell you one thing," he added. "I'm far from finished with Matsuki Haru. By the time I am, he will be reduced to nothing. He will own nothing; he will have no one to turn to for help. His name will be erased from memory."
"Please! " She shrieked. "Have mercy on me and my children. We have done you no wrong." She threw herself at him and clung to him. "Don't you see that you will only serve to further this grudge? Do you want my children to grow up with such hatred for the Kaiba name as their father did? Please I will do anything you ask-"
"Will you turn back the hands of time and bring my lover back to me? Will you find him and comfort him and let him know that what your bastard of a husband did to him wasn't his fault? You can't do that can you? Kaiba hissed at her venomously. "Then I want nothing from you. Leave. NOW."
"Seto, please! This has to end!" Mokuba interrupted. Kaiba looked at the doorway, where his brother now stood. He must have heard the argument and come to investigate. Since he'd come home from abroad and Seto had confided in him all the events that had led to Jou's departure, Mokuba had shadowed his beloved brother relentlessly.
"This is no concern of yours, Mokuba," he snapped. He pushed the sobbing woman away from him.
"Seto, please. This won't bring Jou back to us. There is nothing left for you to do except forgive yourself. You have to start to let go."
He noticed the tears streaming down his brother's face and it hit him that Mokuba missed Jounouchi as much as he did. Mokuba, who'd befriended Jou long before Kaiba was prepared to give him even so much as the time of day, long before he recognized that his need to insult the blond had been borne from his desire to be with him. Mokuba, who had grown up with Jounouchi as an integral part of his adolescent--as a friend, a playmate, and at times, a babysitter.
Something inside the brunet broke then. He realized that all he'd done to make things right, to signal to Jounouchi that it was safe to come home, had been in vain. Jou had still not contacted any of his friends and family--and his passport, the original of which remained at Kaiba's house--had not been reissued, nor in the months since his disappearance had he used any of his credit cards or his cell phone. It was quite clear that Jou was not coming home.
It was at the point that Kaiba lost his appetite for retribution. He looked over at the sobbing woman, who would not raise her head to meet his eyes. "You can't tell me that you still love him." He stated more than asked.
She looked at him then, unwavering. "No, I despise what he did. I've served him with papers for a divorce."
"I'm done." He said tiredly. "You can keep your house."
Siana: I can't give away the ending ... but I hope you keep reading ... I don't think you will be disappointed ;-)
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silverfox: Thank you so much for your comments ... it's always nice to see a familiar penname ... to know someone looks forward to reading my fics ...
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If It Takes Forever, I Will Find You