Adult-FanFiction.org : Yu-Gi-OH

Interchangeable	By : TMD Category: Yu-Gi-Oh > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 4003 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh!, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! or any of the music mentioned throughout this fic.

Chapter 4 - Fake It

“You should’ve seen the little motherfucker bounce around the house all night,” Bakura snickered, looking over at Marik through the opening in the bar while the other mixed them some drinks together, “It was fucking hilarious.”

“You know with the way you drug him, he’s going to overdose eventually,” Malik commented, flipping the stereo to “Reminded” by Drowning Pool, “Then you’re going to be fucked ‘cause once he goes bye-bye, your ass goes back into that sennen ring.”

“I’ll deal with that when it happens,” Bakura shrugged it off and handed Marik the blunt he was smoking on when he walked up with a drink in hand.

“Where’s mine?” Malik asked, staring up at his yami.

“On the counter, go fucking get it yourself,” Marik shot back, then looked over at Bakura, “That goes for you too.”

“Bitch, I’m the reason you exist, get my drink!” Malik glared at his counterpart with icy lavender eyes.

“Alright, damn,” Marik handed Malik his own drink and turned around to head back into the kitchen.

Bakura made a whipping sound while doing the motion of a whip with his hand, then started laughing when Marik turned around to glare at him.

“Fuck you,” Marik growled, going into the kitchen to grab a drink.

“When and where?” Bakura held his hands out, inviting Marik to him.

“You wish, bitch,” Marik snorted, “You’d like some of this hot sexy ass,” he said as he smacked his ass in Bakura’s direction.

“C’mere and I’ll fuck you senseless,” Bakura smirked, pushing himself up out of the chair he was in and went into the kitchen to get his drink.

“Goddamn, didn’t you get enough from your drugged sex slave last night?” the Egyptian yami asked as he flopped onto the couch next to Malik.

“He’s always ready to go,” Malik rolled his eyes, flipping through the CDs in the stereo, “He’s a fucking horndog.”

“And what?” Bakura poked his blonde head as he walked by, headed back to the chair he was sitting in earlier, “Like you’re not? I can hear you two at the bottom of the stairs a lot more than I’d like to.”

Malik huffed at him, “Yeah, and I have that right. Why don’t you go fuck your hikari so Marik can do the same?”

“Because unlike Marik’s lazy ass hikari, my hikari has a job,” Bakura retorted, then finished his drink down and looked around, “Where’s the tray?”

“You lost it again? Find it, asshole!” Malik ordered only to earn a half-cocked look from the former tomb-raider.

“Um, Marik,” Bakura looked over at the other spirit on the couch, “You need to check your property, he’s gonna bleed in a minute if he doesn’t shut up.”

“I am not property!” Malik threw the stereo remote at Bakura who barely dodged it and caught it instead.

Bakura just snickered as he flipped the stereo to the album of “Lost and Found” by Mudvayne. He then sat the remote down and stood up, looking for the weed tray. He searched the living room first, then growled as he started to get pissed off when he did not find it.

“There was a fucking ounce on that bitch,” Bakura growled in frustration, “How the fuck does that thing keep fucking disappearing?! Fucking tray, fucking tray eating apartment! I hate your apartment, Marik!”

“Then get out,” Malik muttered, laying his head on the arm of the couch and hitting the blunt Marik had passed to him.

“It’s right here,” Marik held up the tray with a satisfied look on his face, “It was under the couch.”

Bakura shook his head and stalked over to Marik, grabbing the tray from him and sitting back in his original chair. He used the grinder that was on the tray to grind up a few buds, then cut a cigar open, emptying the tobacco into the ashtray and replacing it with lime green hydro. He rolled the colorful bud into the tobacco paper smoothly, taking his time and precision to make the blunt perfectly round and even.

“Damn, you take forever to roll a sweet,” Malik said, watching the pale hands work at rolling the blunt the rest of the way up and the pink tongue lick the blunt, closing the paper together.

“It’s an art,” Bakura grinned as he held up his flawless blunt, “And, damn, I’m good at it.”

“Meh,” came from Malik as he waived the other off.

“Share,” Bakura said, glaring at the other spirit, “Or you can’t hit the sweet.”

Marik’s eyes suddenly got huge and he looked as if he was going to cry. Then he glared at the silver haired man and tossed a little baggie his way, “Fine. You have too good of senses when it comes to drugs, I swear, Bakura.”

Bakura smirked, looking at the little baggie of white substance he held in front of him between his thumb and forefinger, “Well, how can you be a drug dealer if you don’t know what’s what? Am I right? I know I am.”

“I understand being a good drug dealer, but damn!”

“It’s a sixth sense,” Bakura said as he sat down on the couch in front of the coffee table and laid himself out a thick and long line, “It comes with all the theft. All in my sixth sense.”

Bakura grabbed a straw from the coffee table and leaned over his line, snorting half up the right nostril, then finishing off the line with the left nostril. He tossed the bag back to Marik with a smile, then leaned back, propping his feet up on the coffee table and took his flawless hydro sweet from behind his ear, putting it to his mouth and sparking it up.

“Here, Marik,” Bakura handed the blunt over to Marik and got up.

“God, this is gonna be a long day,” Bakura sighed and rubbed his temples, wishing in the back of his mind that Ryou was with him.

-*-*-*-*-

Ryou let his head fall atop his desk and sighed. He was dead tired and his muscles ached. The fact that he had not gotten any sleep the night before due to Bakura was not helping the way he felt. He glanced at the clock on his desk and saw that it was seven in the evening.

“Oh, what the hell? I’m just gonna take off early tonight,” Ryou spoke aloud to himself, then got up and started gathering papers and files into his briefcase.

He turned everything in his office off and headed out of the door, passing his secretary’s desk that was empty because he had already let her go earlier in the evening. He went down to the hall to the elevator and waited patiently for it to reach the floor he was on. The doors finally opened and he stepped inside, pressing the button for the parking garage.

Ryou stood quietly and still as the elevator descended until his cell phone started going off. He dug the phone out of his pocket and looked at the screen to see it was Yugi and Yami’s house number.

He flipped the phone open and put it to his ear, “Hello?”

“Hey, Ryou, you busy?” came Yugi’s voice from the other line.

“No, I’m just leaving the office,” Ryou replied, “What’s up, Yugi?”

“Can you do me a favor?”

“Sure, what is it?”

“Well, it’s gonna sound weird,” Yugi paused.

Ryou waited quietly for what he had to ask.

“Can you get Bakura so totally shit-faced that he can’t walk straight, much less know who he’s with?” the question came in a rush.

“You’re right, that is weird,” Ryou arched an eyebrow, “Well, what you’re requesting is how he usually comes home every morning..... Why?”

“Um... You didn’t hear this from me, but....” Yugi’s voice lowered, “Yami wants to fuck Bakura.”

“What?!” Ryou stepped back in shock, nearly dropping the phone, then stifled a laugh, “Um.. As of.... when?”

“I have no fucking idea, but he’s been driving me crazy so.... here I am asking you crazy ass and awkward questions.”

“How about I get back to you on that?” Ryou asked, trying to keep a straight face and failing miserably at it, “I’ll call you back. Bye, Yugi.”

He flipped the phone closed and collapsed on top of his car, laughing his ass off. This was priceless. He would have to wait to tell Bakura face to face so he could see the expression on his face.

Ryou finally regained his composure and got into his car, turning it on and taking off with a roar. He sped to his house, hoping Bakura was there, even though he probably was not. There was one way of finding out though.

/Hey, Bakura,/ Ryou tried through their mind-link.

//What?// was the cold reply.

/Where are you?/

//Marik and his little bitch’s apartment. Why?//

/Go home, I want to tell you something face to face,/ Ryou snickered, /I’m on my way now./

There was a pause, followed by a little too excited sounding Bakura, //Really? You’re already off of work? Slow day?//

/No, but I decided to take off early for once,/ Ryou replied, /Now go home, I’ll be there in about 15 minutes./

The link was abruptly cut off and Ryou knew that Bakura was gathering up his shit and heading to their house now.

-*-*-*-*-

“Yami, I don’t know why you’re set on him,” Yugi said while making a sandwich at the kitchen counter, “He hates you. You have no chance. I mean, come on, it’s Bakura we’re talking about here.”

“Shh!” Yami smacked him, “Don’t say that loud! I don’t want anyone to know.”

Yugi glared at the other, rubbing his head, “Then how do you expect this to work?”

“I can drug him,” Yami stated.

Yugi just started laughing.

“What?” Yami looked over at him, confused.

“Think about who you’re talking about,” Yugi said between giggles, “He’s probably immune to being drugged from doing so many drugs. He’s a drug dealer for Christ’s sake. I’m sure he can get his hands on better drugs than you can any day.”

“I didn’t think of that....” Yami sighed, leaning his chin in his the palm of his hand, “Well, this is proving more difficult than it’s worth.”

“But you’re still going to break your back trying to figure out how to accomplish your agenda,” Yugi muttered, finishing his sandwich and sitting at the kitchen table across from Yami, “No matter how fucked up it is.”

Yami shot the smaller man a glare, then sighed, knowing he was right. The former pharaoh would have to come up with something good to accomplish his goal.

-*-*-*-*-

A scream could be heard down the block from the Bakura household. A scream followed by laughing.

“Why are you laughing?! That’s not funny!” Bakura bellowed, going on a rampage throughout the house, breaking various household items, “I feel violated! That is so not cool! Fuck!”

Ryou was on the floor, laughing his ass off. The look on his counterpart’s face was hilarious, but his reaction was priceless. The man was sure glad that he waited to tell the spirit the news when they were face to face.

“Yeah, Yugi asked me to get you shit-faced drunk so Yami could fuck you,” he could not even finish the statement without laughing.

“What?” Bakura turned to him with a dangerous look in his eyes.

“Yugi asked me if-”

“I know what you said!” Bakura cut him off in mid-sentence.

“Well…” Ryou stood up, stifling a sicker, “It’s okay, Bakura, I won’t let him. You’re mine.”

Bakura arched an eyebrow at the other, “I’m no one’s, thanks. Man, fuck you!”

Ryou just laughed as he walked into the kitchen. He went to the refrigerator and peered inside, sighing at what he saw. All the refrigerator had in it was beer.

“What’s wrong, not in the mood for beer?” Bakura asked from beside him, also peering into the refrigerator.

“I give you money to go grocery shopping and this is what you come home with,” Ryou looked up at him.

“Hey, beer is something we always need,” Bakura shrugged and reached in the refrigerator to pull out a beer, “Besides it loosens you up.”

Ryou shook his head and headed to the door, there was no getting through to his yami, “Care to join me for dinner?”

“Sure,” Bakura shrugged and replaced his beer back into the refrigerator and followed Ryou to the car, “And after that, we can give the pharaoh a little visit.”

“What? You wanna take him up on his offer?” Ryou giggled as he pulled out of the driveway and started along the road.

He looked over to see Bakura staring at him with a horrified look on his face and snickered. He glanced over again to see Bakura reaching for his neck to strangle him.

“Hey, I’ll stop,” Ryou leaned as far away from the spirit as possible, trying to drive at the same time, “Yami, not while I’m driving. I’ll stop, I promise.”

“Your promises are shit,” Bakura grumbled, putting his feet up on the dashboard and crossing his arms across his chest, “Fucking asshole, couldn’t have kept that tidbit of information to yourself. No, you had to tell me!”

“Hey, at least I gave you a heads up,” Ryou stifled another laugh, “Or else you might’ve been raped.”

Bakura let out a scream of frustration, then jumped on Ryou trying to strangle him causing the man to slam on the brakes.

“Goddamn it, Bakura! Get offa me!” Ryou shoved him back to the passenger’s seat and glared at him, “Do you want to get us killed?!”

“I’m already dead! ......and since we’re stopped now....” Bakura jumped back atop Ryou, wrapping his fingers around Ryou’s pale neck, “Fuck you! That would never happen to me and you know it! You might be getting raped tonight!”

“Oh, get off!” Ryou shoved him off again back to his seat and sighed, shaking his head, “You’re fucking impossible, you know that?”

“I’m impossible?!” Bakura stared at him shocked, “I’m not the one that keeps bringing that shit up!”

“I’m not the one attacking the driver in traffic, idiot!” Ryou huffed and fell back against his seat, “Fuck, Bakura, fucking homicidal maniac.”

“And what?!” Bakura yelled at him, red flashing in his eyes, “I’m fucking insane! Yes, I’m a fucking goddamned homicidal fucking maniac!”

“Well, now that we got that out there.... can we stop fighting and go eat now?” Ryou asked, calmly, looking at his yami.

“I don’t give a fuck, you little prick,” Bakura growled, shrinking back into his seat, crossing his arms over his chest and looking as a child with a pouty look on his face.

Ryou looked at him and let a laugh, then put the car into drive and took off again.

“What?” Bakura glared at him.

“You just look cute with that pouty look on your face,” Ryou said quietly, glancing up to catch the look in the thief’s eyes momentarily. Their eyes locked for a brief second and Ryou noticed something different in his yami’s eyes. He broke the eye lock to look back at the road.

The rest of the ride was in silence until they pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant. Ryou pulled into the closest parking space he could find near the door and they got out of the car. Bakura slammed his door with a force that made Ryou flinch.

“Easy on the Chevelle, she didn’t do anything to you,” Ryou snapped at the other as he closed his door gently.

Bakura just glared at him, then spoke, “At least you’re not a Ford driver.”

Ryou just mimicked him without sound, doing a motion of his yami nagging and nagging.

Bakura flipped the bird at his hikari and followed him inside.

Ryou walked up to the hostess and smiled, “Hi, um, could I get a table for two, please?”

Bakura stalked up behind him and pondered on how to embarrass his little hikari since they were, after all, in a public place. Ryou should have learned by now that it was a bad idea to take his yami out.

“That’s it!” Bakura suddenly stated and punched his fist into his other hand. Though his recent discovery was not to embarrass Ryou, but to get him to help him with the whole Yami wanting to fuck him situation.

“Oh, Ryou, honey!” Bakura said in a singsong voice, siding up next to Ryou with an evil grin on his face.

Ryou took one look at him and knew something was up, “What now? You better not be planning to set this place on fire!”

“No, no, nothing like that,” Bakura smiled, sliding an arm around Ryou’s waist, pulling him closer, “I just had an idea and you have to help me.”

Ryou gave him a skeptical look as they were led to their table and handed the menus. He sat the menu down and looked at Bakura dead on.

“What’s scheme are you plotting now?” he asked and was greeted with a chuckle.

“It’s not a scheme, Ryou,” Bakura said, setting his menu down on the table in front of him as well, “I just remembered that you said you wouldn’t let the pharaoh do anything.”

“Okay, and?”

“You and I are going to pretend to be a couple.”

Ryou arched his eyebrows and his mouth fell agape, “What?”

“You heard me,” Bakura said, smiling at his counterpart, “That way, he won’t try anything because he wouldn’t want to betray your friendship and all that bullshit. So, starting now, we’re a couple.”

“Bakura, I don’t know…”

“Oh, come on, we already fuck each other and we’re having dinner. Wouldn’t this technically be a date?” the thief asked, looking at Ryou.

Ryou shook his head, “I doubt it’ll work, but what the hell?”

“Raise your glass to it,” Bakura said, raising his own glass.

“To a..... fake relationship,” Ryou said, clinking his glass against Bakura’s, “This should prove interesting.”

-*-*-*-*-
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Interchangeable