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Best Left Forgotten	By : Ykarzel Category: Yu-Gi-Oh > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 3872 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh!, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
Best Left Forgotten

Chapter Five

"You hold the answers deep within your own mind. Consciously,
you've forgotten it. That's the way the human mind works. Whenever something is
too unpleasant, to shameful for us to entertain, we reject
it. We erase it from our memories.� But
the imprint is always there� Nothing is ever really forgotten."
�- Original Author Unknown

When there was no answer to his knock,
Yugi used his key and pushed the door open.�
It took him three or four blinks to process what he was looking at.� �Jou,� he called cautiously, hoping that the
disaster he was seeing was the blonde�s fault and nobody else�s.

�My room,� he called back.

Yugi stepped gingerly through the mess strewn across the
floor.� The whole room looked like something
had exploded; things were thrown everywhere, dragged off the shelves, or
overturned.�

�Are you looking for something?� Yugi asked calmly when he�d
reached the blonde�s room.�

�Was I ever involved with anybody?� Jou asked, while
reaching under his mattress.�

�No,� Yugi said slowly.�
�Not in the past few years.� You
always said you were just picky.�

�You�re positive?� Jou asked.� �No secret relationship I was hinting at?� Well, obviously not, if I didn�t tell you I
was gay.�� He stood up from the bed and
paused.� He looked across the room, where
Yugi stood beside a lamp.�

Yugi followed his gaze.�
�Bulb�s been blown for over a year.�
You swore death on anybody who tried to replace it.� You said you liked it dark.� But you wouldn�t hear of getting rid of the
lamp.�

Jou limped across the room to it, not sure how he knew what
he was doing, and picked the lamp right off the small end table.�

Under it, in the space created in the hallow base, rested a
small book.� �I knew it!� he shouted.� He picked
the book up and replaced the lamp, before hobbling back over to the now
stripped bed.

�What is it?� Yugi asked, following cautiously.� Jou�s moods had been explosive recently, and
he didn�t want to be caught in one.

�Don�t know,� Jou answered.�
He opened the binding.� Out of the pages, which he didn�t hold tightly, slipped two slick
pieces of paper.� Yugi bent to
retrieve them, and gasped at what he saw.

They were photographs, the cheap little shots you could buy
at a machine in a mall or a theme park.�
�He came over last night,� Jou said, staring at the last shot in
particular.� It showed him and the blue
eyed man kissing.� �What�s his name?�

�Seto,� Yugi answered, shock taking all the breath out of
his answer.� �God, Jou,� he exclaimed,
grabbing the blonde�s wrists and looking up at him, eyes already close to
tears.� �We didn�t know.� You have to believe that we didn�t know.�

�I know you didn�t,� Jou answered, confused by Yugi�s
outburst.� �I was obviously keeping it a
secret,� he said, gesturing to the lamp.

Yugi shook his head.�
�Jou, we told him to stay away.�
Not to come near you.� You guys
fought all the time, and we thought, we just��

Jou was already standing.�
He had to set this right.� �I need
to go see him.�

�But, Jou,� Yugi started.

�Now.�

He was already heading for the door, trying not to trip on
any of the things he had tossed over in his search.� He had known that if it was true, if he had
been in a relationship with the blue eyed man � this Seto � that there would be
some sign.

Yugi drove, but he kept glancing at Jou, who was watching
the roads, attempting to remember if he knew the way.� It almost seemed like he could predict which
way they would turn, a fraction of a second before Yugi put on the blinker, but
he was never quite sure.� He kept the
small book and the pictures clenched in his hand.

When they stopped, Jou was already unfastening his
seatbelt.� He nearly fell getting out of
the car, but refused to slow down.�

�Jou,� Yugi called, and the blonde stopped without turning.� �We�re your friends and�� he paused, as if he
didn�t know how to finish that sentiment.

�I know that,� Jou said simply.� �I know that because you were beside my bed
when I woke up, and Honda because he never cries, but he looks like he might
when I�m in pain, and Ryou because he comes all the way home just to visit me,
and Anzu flew half way across the world.�
And I know you are my friends, because of how you act now, not because
you tell me you were my friends before.�

Yugi didn�t answer him, so he started to walk.� He even managed not to limp until he heard
the car pull away.

By the time he reached the door, he thought he�d fall
over.� He�d done more activity today than
he had in weeks, and he�d hardly slept the night before.� After ringing the doorbell, he leaned against
the door frame, letting his eyes fall shut.

When he opened them again, he was staring into those
startling blues.� �Seto,� he said, trying
the name for the first time, seeing how it felt on his tongue.� Standing in front of him, Seto was dressed
like a young businessman.� Jou would have
thought he was several years older if Mokuba hadn�t told him that they were in
the same grade. He swayed slightly, trying to stand.

Arms held him.� He
blinked.� Seto was holding him.� He was warm, and Jou suddenly felt comforted.� �Jou,� Seto said, speaking into his
hair.� �I tried.� I tried to forget.� I tried to leave you be, let you alone, but I
couldn�t.� I missed you too much.�

�Please let go of me,� Jou asked, feeling
uncomfortable.� �I�m sorry that you
missed me,� he said when Seto backed up, �but I don�t know you.�

Pain flashed across Seto�s face, and suddenly Jou remembered
what he�d said in the hospital.� Those
words to comfort his sister; that he�d known somehow Seto had heard.� Guilt followed.

�Why�� Seto swallowed.�
�Why are you here then?�

He wasn�t exactly sure why he was there, but he had to
figure some things out for himself.� �Can
I come in?� Jou asked, swaying again.� �I
think I�m going to fall over if I don�t sit soon.�

Seto moved to practically carry him inside, and Jou allowed
it, even if it did make him feel uncomfortable.�
The guilt kept him quiet.� He did
move away from Seto on the couch, turning to face him.

�I found these,� he said, showing Seto the pictures.� �But Yugi hadn�t known; none of them had.�

�You didn�t want them to,� Seto answered, taking the
pictures carefully.� �You never wanted
them to know, or Mokuba.� Nobody
knew.� No matter how often I told you
they wouldn�t care, you refused to tell them.�

Jou took the pictures back.�
He didn�t want to part with them just yet.� �Why did you stay away?� he asked
suddenly.� It came as a wave, the doubt.� If Seto and he were supposedly together, even
in secret, why had Seto waited so long to come back?� Why had he acted like they hadn�t known each
other?� �I know Yugi told you to stay
away, but why did you?�

�You never told me about the GAD.�

Jou stared blankly.� �About the what?�

�You mean they didn�t tell you?�

�Tell me what?� Jou asked, growing angry.� It was so frustrating, not understanding.� There were so many holes.�

Seto leaned forward, and had both Jou�s hands in his.� Jou almost pulled away, but Seto�s eyes met
his and his voice was calming.� Jou sat
still, listening.

�You developed General Anxiety Disorder when you were in
high school.� They probably didn�t tell
you because they hoped it wouldn�t come back.�
You�ve forgotten back to before it had started.� But, nobody knew except your closest
friends.� You never told me.� The whole time we were together.� I should have seen it.� You always freaked out if I was late; you
never wanted anybody to know about us, not even Yugi.�

Jou shut his eyes against the onslaught of information.� That�s what they were keeping from him.� That was why conversations sometimes cut off,
why they didn�t want to talk about some things, why the things they told him
didn�t always add up.� Like why had he
moved out of his dad�s apartment?� Why
move into Yugi�s place only to move out two years later?� Why actually have his custody transferred?

�How long were we together?�

�It�s been a year,� Seto answered softly.� �Sometime this month.� We were never sure what the date was.� It just grew into what it became.�

�A year,� Jou repeated softly.� �I never told Honda I was gay,
or Yugi either, for five years.� I never
told them about you.� I never told you
about GAD.� And they didn�t tell me about
it, or about you.� Why
so many secrets?�

Seto reached for him, and Jou pulled away.� �I�m sorry,� he said, seeing that Seto was
hurt again.� �But I really don�t know
you.� I�ve only seen you twice.�

�I stayed in the halls,� Seto said softly.� �If Yugi ever left, and you were asleep, I�d
come in to see you.� But they told me
that I was the cause, that I made your GAD worse.� I thought maybe they were right.� Maybe you�d be better off if I just went
away, if you didn�t remember me.�

Jou took a deep breath, leaning further away.� �Were we happy?� he asked.

Seto looked thoughtful for a moment.� �No,� he said slowly.� He looked sad, as if he hadn�t wanted to
admit it.� �We fought more than half the
time.� You were positive I was going to
leave you, and nothing I could say would convince you otherwise.�

�What about this?� Jou asked, almost desperately, waving the
pictures.� That wasn�t what he wanted to
hear.� He wanted to know that they had
been happy, that they had a perfect relationship that could be brought back,
maybe his memories with it, and Seto would protect him from all the secrets
that were making not remembering even harder.

�I took off work,� Seto said calmly, carefully stilling
Jou�s swinging arm and taking the pictures from him.� �You called in sick.� We�d never gone out together before, but it
was the middle of the day and the mall was practically empty.� We�d been together for six months then.�� He smoothed out the pictures.� �By chance, Yugi had run to the mall to pick
up something for his grandfather.� We saw
him before he saw us, and we ducked into this photo booth.� We watched from behind the curtains until he
was gone.� The next thing I knew you were
putting money into the machine.� You said
you never wanted to-� he cut off suddenly.

�Forget,� Jou finished for him.

Seto nodded.� Jou
stood up, needing to be away from here now.�
He needed to think.� �I don�t
remember, Seto,� he said, standing.� �I
don�t remember the fights, or making up,� he realized with a shock that they�d
probably been intimate.� He blushed
brightly.� �Or, any of
the� other stuff.�

�I know, Jou,� Seto said, his facial features relaxing to
impassiveness.

�So, I don�t want to.�

�What?� Seto asked, surprise showing through his mask.� Jou wondered how much that mask had to do
with him thinking Seto would leave him.�
It was a stupid fear, obviously. If he was okay with what Jou said next,
he�d never again suspect him of leaving.�

�I don�t want to remember.�
Obviously, the past five years were pretty bad.� I kept secrets from everybody,
I had this- this disorder.� Well, I don�t
want any of it.� But, I think, you are
important, and, I don�t want to lose you, if I haven�t already.� So I want to start over.�

Seto nodded slightly.�
�You want them to stop trying to make you into the Jou that they knew.�

Jou took a step back, forgetting his leg didn�t work that
way yet and swaying.� �How did you know
that?�

�Mokuba tells me about how you guys fight.� They didn�t know you the way I did.� The Jou they�re trying to recreate wasn�t
real.� You were as afraid of telling them
who you really were as you were of telling me about the GAD.� Nobody could know all your weaknesses.�

�Did you know the real me then?� Jou asked, feeling
foolish.�

Seto shut his eyes.�
�You had a hard time sleeping, another sign I should have noticed.� But, sometimes, after we were together, you�d
finally relax.�� Jou felt heat rising to
his face.� �That was the real you, I
think.�

�I need to go,� Jou said quickly.� �I need, to think.�

Seto nodded slowly.�
�Yes, I�m sure you do.� It�s a lot
to digest all at once.�

�Tomorrow?� Jou asked, looking over
his shoulder.� �Can we go somewhere?� Start over?�

Seto nodded, and Jou thought he looked relieved.� His voice took on another tone, an
undercurrent Jou couldn�t recognize. �Tomorrow, we�ll go out.� Our first date on our first
anniversary.�

Jou blushed again. God, Seto was gorgeous.� And when he talked like that, Jou felt like
he was melting into a puddle.� He
stumbled a lot on his way out, and he didn�t think it was all due to his leg.
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