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Similar Differences	By : Amarin Category: Yu-Gi-Oh > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 2748 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh!, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
When I Take Over The World I Plan To Live Happily Ever After

***

A complete (and expanded) copy of the Evil Overlord list can be found here: http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html

***

Monday finally came, and Malik was ecstatic.
Not that he’d ever admit to feeling anything more than a minor pleasure that he’d get to see Seto again.
At least, outside of his head.
He was glad to see that their changed relationship hadn’t changed everything. It was good to know that they could still insult each other without either of them blowing a fuse just because they were ‘together’ now. They still had their lunchtime ‘fights’ – only there was more veiled innuendo thrown in, like that afternoon when he’d run into Seto and Mokuba in the park.
That wasn’t always good, though. Flirting with Seto during lunchtime was fun; having a hard-on throughout Algebra class wasn’t.
Hey, he was a teenager. And while he might never have been a horny one until he’d met Seto, his hormones had finally kicked in and were making up for lost time.
Kissing was damn fun. Even more so than terrorizing hapless mortals.
Of course, just because they were quote-unquote ‘dating’ now didn’t mean it was all hearts and roses.
Hell, neither of them liked hearts, and roses were unneeded romance.
But then again, their idea of romance was lending each other fantasy novels, trying to figure out how many different versions there were of the ‘Animaniacs’ theme song, and attempting to one-up each other in insult contests.
Their relationship was anything but normal. He supposed one could say it was on the fringes of normality. If normality was completely insane…
All Malik knew was that even the semblance of normality they had was enough to make him feel…not such a freak.
And he liked that. A lot.
Almost as much as he liked Seto.
Was that love?
***

A month from the next Monday, Seto’s conversational gambit was a bit different. The CEO was fond of asking off-the-wall questions.
Good thing Malik was fond of answering them.
“If you had to have any weapon in any known universe other than the Millennium Rod…” Seto started.
“Yes?” Malik prompted when the other didn’t continue.
“Which one wouldn’t it be?” Seto asked, a smirk on his lips.
“Glarundel,” Malik replied promptly. Seto should remember that one, after all he did lend me that duo of novels.
Seto’s eyebrow rose above eyes that were dancing with held back merriment. “Glarundel, the Sword That Was Useless, guaranteed to render the bearer vulnerable?”
“Do you have a photographic memory or something? Because that’s exactly the wording used in the book,” Malik said, referring to Nick O’Donohoe’s ‘The Magic and the Healing’.
“Actually, yes, I do,” Seto replied, startling the blond.
“Wow…no wonder you always get top marks,” Malik said, impressed. A smile flickered across his face. “I guess that’s how you always know the stats of every Duel Monsters cards, ne?”
“Memorization is a wonderful device,” Seto said dismissively.
“And it’s only one of several tools you have at your disposal, ne?” Malik asked, a salacious grin on his face. Ah, double entendres…flirting was never so much fun.
Never mind the fact that he’d never flirted with anyone besides Seto…
“Says the man who wields the Millennium Rod,” Seto riposted, a cocked eyebrow lending him a rather brazen air.
“Touché,” Malik quipped.

Seto sighed theatrically at the formulaic line. “Not smart enough to think of an original comeback, Malik?”
“What, you don’t think I’m smart?” Malik asked, mock-astounded.
“Yes, but I think you’re more evil than anything else,” Seto returned dryly.
“Hmmph!” Malik sniffed and turned away in feigned distress.
“But evil on you is very sexy,” Seto added, inching over on the bench they were sitting.
Malik smiled. Got him right where I want him. He was so glad they had decided to eat outside, where no one else was around. Even if it was a little cold, Seto could keep him warm. Turning around, Malik replied, “Ditto,” and he pounced on his boyfriend.
He’d much rather make out with Seto than study, any day.
***

Snickering quietly as he read the e-mail in his inbox, Malik didn’t hear Seto until the CEO was almost on top of him.
And no, not like that.
Unfortunately…
“What’s so funny, Malik?” Seto murmured, dropping down next to him at the computer desk in his home office. They’d been dating for about two and a half months now, and the Egyptian had gotten into the habit of coming over to the mansion in the afternoons. Malik had his own key in case Seto had to work late. This afternoon was no exception for the brunet, for all that it was Sunday.
CEOs didn’t get that many days off.
“This e-mail you sent me,” Malik replied between chuckles, gesturing at the screen. “Where did you find this, Seto? It’s the funniest thing I’ve ever read.”
Seto’s brow furrowed. “E-mail?” he asked. “I didn’t send you any e-mail.”
Frowning slightly, Malik said, “It’s from your e-mail address: SKaiba@KaibaCorp.Net.”
Seto looked at the ‘From’ line of the e-mail Malik was in the process of reading and sighed. “Mokuba must have hacked my password again. He does it periodically to keep in practice.”
Malik snorted. “You’re a bad influence on him, Seto.”
Shrugging nonchalantly, Seto said, “What am I supposed to do? Threaten to send him to bed without supper? Besides, at least when he hacks my e-mail, I know what he’s doing. And he’s never sent porn links to my business associates.”
“I’ll bet he’s thought about it, though,” Malik countered.
Growling low in his throat in a way that made Malik certain that Kaiba agreed with him, Seto remained silent for long moments. Finally the brunet asked, “What exactly did he send you that was so funny, anyway?”
“It’s a list. ‘The Top One Hundred Things I’d Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord,’” Malik recited.
Seto froze, a smile twitching at his lips. “You’re kidding.”
“Nope,” Malik said. “I think number thirty is the funniest so far.”
“Oh?” Seto asked, peering over the blond’s shoulder at the e-mail.
Adjusting his position so Seto could read, Malik said, “Yeah. Thirty is, ‘All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.’”
Stifling a laugh, Seto said, “That’s funny. But I like number forty: ‘I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.’”
“That one’s good, but I would have thought you’d like fifty better,” Malik replied.
Scrolling down the list, Seto barked a laugh. “‘My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.’ Yes, that’s definitely what I’d do if I ever became an Evil Overlord.”
“Computers are all good and well for you, but what about me?” Malik asked. “I spent the first half of my life in an underground cult in Egypt; it took me months to learn how to use a computer.”
Seto smirked. “Number fifty-five. You could have a place in my organization.”
Rereading the aforementioned number, Malik frowned. “‘The deformed mutants and oddball psychos will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However, before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.’ So do you consider me a deformed mutant or an oddball psycho?”
“I personally think you are neither deformed…” here Seto ran a hand teasingly along Malik’s thigh, “…nor psychotic. But what do you think?” Seto asked.
“I think that number sixty is eerily like what Mokuba pulled with your e-mail,” Malik said cheekily, evading both Seto’s words and his roaming hands.
“Number sixty?”
Malik nodded. “It ties in to number twelve on the list: ‘One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.’”
Seto gave the other boy an inscrutable look before reading number sixty. “‘My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in less than thirty seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords,’” Seto read slowly. He involuntarily chuckled and turned to the blond. “Mokuba is twelve, Malik, not five,” he pointed out.
“But when you were five, I bet you could break passwords just as easily as he can,” Malik countered.
“True,” Seto said modestly. “And I’m even better now.”
Malik huffed at the other’s arrogance.
Going back to reading the list, Seto continued, “I think fifty-nine fits Noah, though.”
Flicking a glance at the screen, Malik coughed to cover his laugh. “‘I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am?’”
“Exactly,” Seto said. “Though Noah was human first, it still wasn’t a good idea to give him almost unlimited power.”
“Speaking of unlimited power… How about sixty-four? I think that’s advice Pegasus should have taken,” Malik said smugly.
Seto snorted. “‘I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.’ Yeah, I think he should have taken that advice. His obsession with that damn rabbit was just creepy.”
“No argument here,” Malik agreed. “But since you mentioned obsessions… What about the last one?”
“Number one hundred?” Seto asked, as he scanned down the list. He chortled, barely able to contain his mirth. “‘Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.’”
“Ingenious, I think,” Malik said, smiling. “Computers are the twenty-first century version of television. Otherwise known as the ‘Boob Tube’.”
“Indeed,” Seto agreed, shaking his head. “I wonder who came up with this list?”
“The world – and us – may never know,” Malik said solemnly.
Seto rolled his eyes.
***

A month from the following Monday, Malik again graced the Kaiba mansion with his presence. Seto had actually taken a rare afternoon off, and he and Malik were hanging out in his indoor pool.
Neither of them asked why the other kept their shirt on. They were too busy having another insult contest.
“Is it your life’s ambition to annoy every single person you meet, or is it just something you do to pass the time when you’re not trying to take over the world?” Malik demanded.
“I thought you were the one who wanted to take over the world,” Seto returned dryly.
Malik huffed. “No, just Egypt,” he said seriously, his tone playful. “But I decided that being an evil super villain was not for me.”
“Oh, really?” Seto asked, one eyebrow raised.
Nodding solemnly, Malik pronounced, “Too much paperwork.”
Seto’s snort was almost inaudible, but the Egyptian still heard it.
Malik grinned. He and Seto had more in common than at first glance. For instance, there was this really funny game they’d come up with one day about a month after they got together – neither of them were sure who started it – but Malik had taken to calling it the ‘Evil Villain’s Catch Phrase’ game. Basically, they tried to one-up each other with witty and/or dramatic phrases about taking over the world.
He knew if anyone they knew ever caught them playing it, they’d think he and Seto were crazy – not that they weren’t, but that’s beside the point – but to them it was just fun. Sort of like a stress reliever.
Actually, Mokuba had caught them one day. He’d rolled his eyes and quipped, “I never thought I’d ever see another person with as deranged a sense of humor as you, ani-sama,” before skipping out of further conversation.
Apparently that was Mokuba’s version of his blessing on their relationship.
If the kid wasn’t so fond of the Friendship Cult, Malik thought he could actually grow fond of the little squirt.
“Okay, so you’re seriously planning to take over the world and during your speech to the doomed populous, you say…?” Seto prompted, flicking a few drops of water at the other boy to grab his attention.
Malik frowned and shook his head to get rid of the water, an expression on his face rather like that Shadow wore whenever he’d just had an unwanted bath. Sticking out his tongue at Seto, he smirked and said in a deep, guttural voice rather reminiscent of his former yami, “It doesn’t matter at what time or place they founded this city or country – I will one day rule this world, and all that will matter is how I took over.”
The sound of clapping greeted his ears. “Not bad, not bad,” Seto said. “But how about this: Kill one man, you’re a murderer. Kill a million, a conqueror. Kill them all – a God.”
“Ooh, that’s a good one,” Malik enthused. “How about this: ‘I will reign in terror, stupid mortals – your terror – whether you like it or not!’”
Kaiba seesawed one hand back and forth. “Ne, that’s more along the lines of blowing a raspberry at someone and going ‘Nyah-nyah-nyah nyah-nyah-nyah!’”
“I’d like to see you do better,” Malik said, meaning every word of it. Kaiba could come up with some of the most interesting phrases in this little game, and since it wasn’t technically a competition, he didn’t mind ‘losing’ to him.
Kaiba paused, a thoughtful look on his face, before finally saying, “All right, how about this? Advice for people attempting to conquer world: ‘When taking over the world, be sure and make the process as difficult in possible for those in charge.’”
Malik chuckled. “Ah, not much better than mine, but funny, Seto.”
“And I suppose you have a better one?” Kaiba demanded, a smile lurking on his lips.
“Hmmm… Well, in accordance with your ‘killing’ one, how about this for a slogan? ‘When I’m God, everyone dies.’”
“Nice one.”
Of course, most of what they had in common was less…bizarre. Not by much, but anyway…
Neither of them was all that fond of the Friendship Cult. Kaiba even had a similarly rude nickname for them – he called them the Friendship Freaks.
“A Friendship Cult of Freaks,” Malik had offered as a compromise, and Kaiba had agreed. From there on out, Yugi and his friends were known as the FCF.
It wasn’t that there was anything particularly wrong with any of them – they were annoying as all hell sometimes, but otherwise they weren’t even a thorn in his side. Oh, sure, Téa was a very strong-willed woman, reminded him a lot of his sister, in fact, but he’d hardly ever heard her talk about anything not involving friendship or dancing. Joey had a very short temper and while Malik would admit that the blond had a right to hold a grudge against him for the mind control/death trap thing that Marik had engineered, he had never understood what Joey had against Kaiba. It probably had something to do with Yugi, though.
Yugi, for his part, was nice to almost everyone, but Malik had rarely ever met anyone with a stronger will – outside of the Pharaoh, of course. Tristan was like a more active version of Ryou, but just as easygoing; Ryou was almost stronger – mentally, anyway – than Yugi, despite his soft-spoken nature. Bakura reminded Malik of a blend of himself and Marik, the latter half being the reason he was wary around the tomb-raider, rather than his thieving skills.
Kaiba was a lot like him, especially where friendship was concerned. Neither of them had a clue how to make friends. That they’d each managed to befriend the other, and were now dating…
Well, neither of them knew how they’d managed it.
Kaiba was also the only other person he knew – personally, anyway – who owned a motorcycle. Malik had actually spent a few evenings making repairs to it – for a fee, of course, no matter that they were quote-unquote ‘dating’; he didn’t work for free, and hey, Kaiba could afford to pay him a few thousand yen for his time – while simultaneously teaching him the finer points of motorcycle mechanics.
Motorcycles, utter devotion to their siblings, a quirky, dry sense of humor, and an almost complete inability to relate to people their own age…
It was amazing how much they had in common.
Including off-the-wall conversations about seemingly irrelevant subject matter.
“Where do you see yourself after you graduate?” Seto had asked one afternoon about a month later. They were in the backyard of the Kaiba mansion, just watching the clouds go by. It was one of those lazy autumn days where the activity was oddly appropriate; just the right speed for the languid atmosphere that hung over everything. “Do you think you’ll still be here in Domino, or will you go back to Egypt?”
“I don’t think Isis wants to go back to Egypt,” Malik said, folding his arms under his head and leaning back on them as he turned contemplative lavender eyes on the clouds passing by overhead. “And I’m not sure I do, either. Not permanently, anyway. Why, would you miss me if I left?” He slanted an inscrutable glance towards the brunet before going back to his cloud-watching.
The question was asked teasingly, but Seto could hear a ring of curiosity in Malik’s voice. “Yes, I would,” he said softly. “Very much so.”
A small, yet genuine smile crossed Malik’s face and he leaned up on one elbow, facing towards Seto. “I’d miss you, too,” he admitted.
Seto reached out with one hand, idly toying with a strand of the Egyptian’s platinum blond hair. “Then it would only make sense for you to stay here, so neither of us have to miss the other,” Seto said practically, his tone as soft as his actions.
“If I can’t find a job here in Domino, I might have to leave,” Malik pointed out, eyebrows knitting together in suppressed fretfulness.
“You could…stay with me…if you wanted,” Seto offered. “I’m sure I could find something for you to do, even if it was only taking care of the company vehicles.”
Malik snorted. “Don’t you think that would be weird – me working for you? We’re dating, after all.”
Seto shrugged. “Like I care as long as you’re around.” He stopped playing with Malik’s hair and reached out to grasp the other’s hand, clasping it tightly.
“What, you want to live happily ever after with me, Seto?” Malik asked incredulously, though his heart swelled at the though that the other wanted him around for the long haul.
“We could always try,” Seto said honestly. “But no…with us, I think it might be more like ‘weirdly ever after’.”
Malik snorted. “Too true.”
As Seto tugged him closer and pressed their lips together in a soft kiss, Malik thought, As long as it’s with Seto…I think weird would make me happy.
Yeah…after all, every life needs a little weirdness, if only to keep things from getting boring.
- 5
- 6
- 7
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