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Ambivalence	By : PupshitDesu Category: Yu-Gi-Oh > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 4882 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: We do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! or any associated properties therein. We do not profit from the creation of this work.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
When Kaiba woke up, he immediately got out of bed and went to take a shower before getting dressed. It was probable that the house was his now, and knowing Mokuba was gone to school after a successful weekend, he felt far more relaxed and settled about everything. Usually he didn't get that sort of time with his brother. He was quick to get into his usual black clothes after his shower before going downstairs.
He didn't actually need to be at work until much later in the day, since he took care of a lot the night before on his phone. All those hours before staying up late at the office were for something, and glad that he wouldn't need to make an appearance until around lunch time, Kaiba settled down at the dining table, relaxing with a cup of coffee to wake up before his servants came and presented him with breakfast.
It was a rather light one, being traditional Japanese, but he was fine with that. Heavy meals didn't interest him. He was eating the rice with his miso soup, and looked over the Domino newspaper before tossing it aside and closing his eyes, really enjoying his premium coffee before he heard someone approaching from the hallway.
Then the noise stopped, and looking up from drinking, he peered through his long eyelashes, catching Jonouchi standing dumbfounded in the doorway before he blinked in surprise. He was supposed to be gone already. Someone was supposed to wake him up and take him home an hour ago.
No matter.
"If you think I feel obligated to feed you, you're wrong," he said, closing his eyes again to drink his coffee, "You were supposed to be driven home an hour ago. Did you sleep past your wake-up call?"
"There was a wake-up call?" Jonouchi scratched the back of his head. He'd gotten himself cleaned up, but he was still tired. It felt like he'd just rolled out of bed a moment ago. His dreams the night before had been unpleasant and forced him awake at frequent intervals, so he hadn't rested as much as he'd hoped to.
Sucked for him. He still had work today. If Kaiba had sent a wake-up call, he sure as hell hadn't got it. Or maybe he had, and actually managed to sleep right through it until he awakened in a panic and wondered what time it was.
"You don't have to feed me. I just had no idea what was going on, and I figured the dining room was a good place to find you or Mokuba at breakfast time."
Mokuba didn't seem to be there. Was he at school already? That was probably the case. It had been a while since Jonouchi was in high school, but by this point in the morning, he would have been in class back then. He sighed and took a seat at the dining table. May as well get comfortable if he was stranded for the moment.
Kaiba didn't say anything. Mokuba's disappearance should have been enough of a clue that the kid was gone, and keeping his drink near his plate to periodically drink out of it, he relaxed and went back to just enjoying his coffee as if Jonouchi wasn't even there. As long as he wasn't talking, it wasn't hard to just continue with his morning ritual. But he also knew that peace and quiet wouldn't last; Jonouchi would start at least fidgeting. But whatever, he'd try to ignore him.
And why was he sitting at the dining table with him anyway? He certainly wasn't invited to join him, but before Kaiba could say anything about it, one of the servants got him coffee too and a small platter of food, not unlike what he was eating himself. It made him snort, the help assuming he was feeding his "guest", but it was probably better that he did since it was bad manners otherwise.
Mokuba would get upset if he didn't.
"Oh!" Jonouchi was surprised when he was given food by a woman who appeared from a door at the far end of the room. "Thank you."
She didn't reply, and he realized that it was actually bad form to talk to domestic workers. The lady almost looked offended. Honestly, what year was she living in? If people he served at the soba restaurant ignored him completely, he'd probably get pretty pissed over it.
He brushed off his thoughts and focused on eating. He hadn't been expecting any breakfast, but since Kaiba didn't say anything about him getting some, he wasn't going to refrain from eating. It was the same thing Kaiba was having, which was a small plate of traditional breakfast. Jonouchi wasn't sure it would be enough for him, but the food was high-quality and left him feeling satisfied by the time he cleaned the plate.
Kaiba still didn't seem to be finished when Jonouchi was. He was picking through his food so slowly it was ridiculous. Jonouchi looked at the coffee he'd been brought, and pulled the mug toward himself. It was still warm. It smelled...well, like coffee. Jonouchi had never been overly fond of coffee, but he decided to give it a try since he had it there for free anyway.
It was disgusting. The moment it was on his lips, the bitter taste of the almost-black liquid made him want to spit it out. However, he hadn't been raised to spit out food, and certainly not food someone else provided, so he managed not to make too much of a fool of himself. He did grimace and set the coffee back on the table, though.
"It's an acquired taste."
"How do you acquire a taste for that?" Jonouchi stuck his tongue out, sickened a little by the taste of the coffee. It was worse than the one time he'd tasted astringent powder. He knew that very bitter or astringent flavors were supposed to be good for metabolism, but coffee was disgusting. That couldn't be good for him. It wasn't like he needed caffeine anyway. His boss wouldn't be pleased if he came to work even more twitchy than usual.
Kaiba seemed cool as a cucumber about sipping his own coffee. He didn't even make a face. Did he not taste it?
"Habit. I've been drinking it for years."
"Maybe that's why I can't stand it," Jonouchi grumbled, "Your cook probably poured me some from the same pot as yours."
He knew from working in food service that a person's immunity to coffee grew over time. It was why some people ended up using espresso. The longer they used coffee, the more potent the coffee had to be in order to work. If Kaiba had been using it for years, then he was probably using three or four times the suggested coffee-to-water ratio.
"Wait," Jonouchi did a double-take, "You've been using it for years? You're only twenty. When did you start?"
"Sixteen. I had a lot of late nights..."
He didn't see how it was any of Jonouchi's business, but whatever, at least he wasn't asking those really personal questions like the night before. That got on his nerves, and he could deal with the more senseless questioning. Maybe he was just curious. It didn't feel nearly as invasive, and besides, Kaiba liked coffee after going to the United States for a conference. It seemed to curb his appetite and keep him up.
Gozaburo used to drink tea. That thought made him snort, and glancing towards the far end of the dining table, he could remember how he sat there and took his sweet time eating while everyone else had to wait before being excused. Usually he'd smoke that disgusting cigar at the table too, blowing smoke in everyone's faces, and Kaiba hated it. He wasn't used to getting meals all the time after the orphanage, and actually had to train himself to slow down. Waiting on Gozaburo to finish eating certainly taught him over time to pace himself...
Now he pecked at his food like a bird, immediately losing interest in his meals unless it was something very exotic or a favorite dish of his. Most food was just bland to him, especially traditional Japanese foods, and he didn't like how unhealthy a lot of Western dishes were, even if he found them appetizing. He wasn't going to screw over his diet over taste.
"And I don't like tea," said Kaiba, moving the food around on his plate with chopsticks, "So I drink coffee."
"You don't like tea?" Jonouchi laughed. "Obviously you aren't Japanese. Someone needs to revoke your citizenship."
He wasn't a big fan of tea, himself. He couldn't afford any worth drinking, for one. When he was somewhere he could get a really good cup without paying, then he'd drink it, but he much preferred juice or pop. Still, there was something satisfying about how nice his stomach felt after a cup of green tea.
"I mostly just drink water. Soda, when I can get it. My boss lets us have small cups while we're on shift. I guess so the caffeine can keep us going."
"He'd be better off making you all drink coffee," mused Kaiba, "It works much better."
"Heh, maybe. But the shitty fountain drinks are cheaper to give us. That and the sugar keeps everyone in a passable mood."
Jonouchi didn't dislike his boss. They weren't best friends or anything, but the man had been scuffling with the general manager for months to make sure Jonouchi got enough hours to pay rent, and most people wouldn't have given a fuck. As long as he worked hard and didn't drop too much stuff every month, then he didn't have trouble with the manager. It was considerably better than other jobs he'd had.
He just wished he could eat the food that customers didn't want. The restaurant was uptown, and rich people were apparently very picky about their food. It was a soba place, for god's sake, and not even a very upscale one. And yet, people had food sent back all the time because the noodles weren't their preferred "firmness" or the temperature wasn't scalding hot enough for them. And all that unwanted food had to go in the trash.
"What, did you force coffee on your employees? Is that why their work ethic is so good?" Jonouchi snorted.
"No. Their work ethic is good because I pay them well, obviously."
"Yeah, I hear that works, too."
Jonouchi paused for a few moments, staring blankly at the table. That reminded him that he still needed to find a new job. Well, another job. Just carrying one wasn't going to be enough if he wanted to get anywhere, unless he miraculously got one with doubled salary. That was unlikely, since he didn't have any university education and couldn't afford certifications.
He'd have to go to the library and start looking online for places to harass. Maybe uptown would have more job openings. There was more money going around, right? So managers would probably be hiring more employees. That was common sense. Then again, that was what he'd thought while searching for a job previously and it was only by luck that he'd been hired at the soba restaurant...
He realized that he was probably making a face and eased up. He could think about serious shit later. Like after his shift at work was over, and he could spare the energy.
"You wouldn't happen to have the number for a cab, would you?" Asked Jonouchi, looking at Kaiba and waiting for a response.
"And here I thought you were enjoying your food and a view," replied Kaiba, snorting to himself in amusement, "I'll find you one once I'm finished."
"Didn't you want me to stop staring at you?" Jonouchi raised an eyebrow, surprised that Kaiba was actually joking about that. He'd figured he was pissy about that conversation. Maybe he was just in a good mood for this fleeting moment. "But thanks. I'm grateful for the food, but I need to get back to the city in time for work."
"Should have gotten up when the driver was knocking on your door," replied Kaiba, taking bites of fish off his plate using his chopsticks, "It's not my fault if you're late. I bet you didn't even set your phone to go off and just slept in until whenever."
"Man, you sound like my mom," Jonouchi groaned, "I never claimed it was your fault I'm late. It's my own stupid fault. Jeez..."
His mother had always been like that. He could say something as simple as "I have to catch the bus" and the next thing he knew, she'd be on his ass about every little thing he'd done in the past week that she considered irresponsible. Usually it resulted in him being late anyway because he'd stopped to listen. That had been before he stopped talking to her altogether, of course. No point staying in phone contact with his mother if she was just going to nitpick and be unsupportive. Jonouchi needed his flippant optimism if he wanted to keep getting up in the morning.
"You're funny," he glanced at Kaiba again, realizing that it was a little amusing that he was reminiscent of his mother. Maybe it was his somewhat high-strung and anal retentive personality.
"Excuse me?"
Kaiba looked at him funny. People usually didn't say things like that about him, most claimed he had a terrible sense of humor. Only Mokuba really got him, since Mokuba was the only person he could joke with who wasn't the blunt end of them... People usually didn't find it funny when they were the punch line. Although Kaiba did.
"I'm not funny, I'm as serious as a heart attack," he replied, giving Jonouchi a straightforward look while sipping his coffee.
Jonouchi just laughed at him. He didn't know if Kaiba was actually trying to tell a joke, or if the fact that he was trying too hard was the reason it was so amusing.
"You are funny, in your way. I mean, usually when you tell "jokes" it's not all that entertaining unless I look at it from a different perspective. But at least you have a sense of humor."
Kaiba was able to tease and could handle being teased...to a point. He definitely didn't have a normal sense of humor, but it was there. If he could stop spoiling it with the entire potato he had strapped to his shoulder, maybe he'd be fun.
"That, and the fact that you nag like my mother is going to amuse me endlessly in the future."
"Hmm. Gay men and their mothers, I should have never opened my mouth then."
"Oh Kaiba, I've been waiting to hear you say those words for years," Jonouchi snorted, "Seriously though, I'd rather have you nagging at me than other people. It's not like there's anyone else around to do it now that Anzu is gone."
How was it that all these people around him felt compelled to give him obvious advice and berate him over infinitesimal life decisions? His mother was one thing, but then Anzu, and now Kaiba...
Then again, Anzu had taught him a lot. His mother, not so much. But he'd been too young to be shamed into responsibility back then. Anzu had imparted some slight sense of manners, somehow, and she certainly hadn't been shy when she thought he was whining too much. He remembered calling her, back when his father finally just left and he was in despair about his future. It made him laugh, thinking about it now. No wonder she'd been so annoyed. Oh no, what do I do, my deadbeat father up and left and took his debts with him...
She hadn't spared an ounce of pity for him. Instead, she'd impatiently told him to just go find a job. It wasn't like he didn't know how to work. He'd been scandalized and a little pissed about it, but he'd found a job within the week, so it wasn't like she'd been wrong.
"Well, I'm not interested in a new career path, so you should work on finding someone else to bust your ass for you," Kaiba interrupted Jonouchi from his thoughts, "I'd like to keep my job instead. I'm sure you can understand why."
"Well, I'm certain it was a difficult decision for you, but I would have chosen the higher pay rate, too," Jonouchi smirked, "It's too bad, but don't worry. Brunettes seem to love picking at me. I'll just stroll around a block in central and look irresponsible until one of them notices."
Kaiba was yet to be offended about being compared to his mother, or at least acted like it, which wasn't exactly surprising. Jonouchi knew that such simple things didn't really bother Kaiba, but sometimes it was hard to tell. He'd get pissy over what seemed like a completely unreasonable imagined slight. Either Jonouchi was just lucky this morning, and not pushing his buttons (partly because he was actively trying not to), or Kaiba was feeling really good. The latter seemed more likely, in all honesty.
"I highly doubt they'll stop what they're doing to go nag at your punk ass," Kaiba said, finally finishing his soup and poking at his plate of rice, "Charming or not. You'll have to find someone else who'll be interested in replacing your mother for you."
"Believe me, no one can replace my mother," Jonouchi replied dryly. Not that he didn't recognize his appreciation for female guidance, but he really preferred to avoid people who were similar to his mother. The nagging was one thing. It got under his skin, but it was well-intentioned. His mother, on the other hand, had always been two-faced, the model parent one moment and a refrigerator the next. It all depended on her mood, and what she deemed necessary for whatever image she gave herself.
"Glad you think I'm charming, though. If I can get you to admit it, then my smile probably melts butter."
He wished. It seemed fifty-fifty with who found him annoying or charming. Honda had flip-flopped from one to the other frequently. He was always a loyal friend, of course, but some days he'd think Jonouchi's irresponsible nature was funny, and others it would just irritate him. And he wasn't afraid to show it.
Dammit. He really was trying to replace his mother. Always with the nagging brunettes...
"Oh, since you probably know better than I do," he blinked, "Do you know what it would cost for a cab from here to uptown?"
He probably had enough for it, but if it would be too large a chunk of his spare cash, he'd more likely walk. He was hesitant to use Kitamura's money for anything, and only really threw it around if he was running out of food. It didn't really feel like his own, and he wasn't comfortable spending it. So he saved it. It wasn't like it wouldn't come in handy eventually, right?
"More than you can probably afford, so don't worry about it."
"Really?" Jonouchi tilted his head questioningly, but a smile spread across his face. Kaiba didn't make offers unless he meant it. Even if the offer seemed unbelievably gracious for his usual behavior. "Well...thanks. I mean it, that's really great of you."
"Tch. I told you last night not to worry about it, didn't I?"
His mood went a little sour as he got more coffee for himself and started eating the pickled vegetables that were left on his plate. There were also some sliced peaches, something most people rarely ever got to enjoy, and he was planning to eat it, eventually. But his stomach always felt full, even after eating nearly nothing at all.
But he wasn't going to waste perfectly good food. Once his vegetables were gone, he used his fingers to pick the fruit off his plate, eating each piece one at a time while rolling his eyes in indifference. He didn't get why people always seemed to think he was lying about his generosity, like he wasn't capable of being decent (when he felt like it), but he decided not to make a deal of it, since he was generally less charitable to Jonouchi.
He couldn't very well just kick him out of the house and expect him to walk home. That would be messed up, and Mokuba would get on him later about it.
"Yeah, you did," Jonouchi laughed, recognizing Kaiba's mood. He always got frustrated after being generous, usually because he was thanked with such immense surprise. At least Jonouchi hadn't turned him down. That usually made him outright angry. "But I didn't know if you were fed up with my dumb ass after I missed the wake-up call you set up for me."
He did feel kind of bad about that. Kaiba had probably wanted him out of his house at a certain time, and Jonouchi had just slept in. That wasn't good manners at all, but he hadn't expected to sleep past someone banging on his door. Usually a noise like that would have him jumping to his feet. It certainly did at his place. Then again, his bed there wasn't as comfortable, and he definitely didn't feel as secure. The likelihood that banging noises at Kaiba mansion equated to some kind of danger was significantly lower.
Jonouchi was surprised about it really, when he considered the night before and this morning. Kaiba had been pleasant the night before because Mokuba had insisted. Jonouchi had still pissed him off (and almost intentionally, to boot), so of course Kaiba was pissy by the end of it, but it hadn't been nearly as bad as usual. Even more shocking was that Kaiba seemed to be over it the next day. Jonouchi had expected to be glared at and actively shunned, but for some reason, Kaiba felt like being nice. Nicer than usual, anyway.
And since when did he let people sleep at his house? Jonouchi had scarcely believed Mokuba the day before when he'd said they had the green light for that. Jonouchi had only been to Kaiba mansion once before, and it wasn't because Kaiba was being gracious. He'd been acting it, but he hadn't been. This case was different. Even if he'd let Jonouchi stay over for Mokuba's sake, he certainly didn't have to feed and accommodate him, especially after he'd slept in. And if the taxi was really going to be that expensive, it was hardly required that he pay for it. Jonouchi was supposed to catch a ride earlier, and had missed it. By etiquette, he should have been on his own after that.
"I'm actually going to town after this, so you can catch the bus near Kaiba Corporation. It'll be cheaper than calling you a cab when we're both going near the same place," he said, more to himself as he tried formulating the most logical way to get to work, "And I'm sure you can afford a damn train pass."
He was only so generous.
Besides, it didn't take him long to finish his peaches, and grabbing his briefcase from one of the servants before getting up, he left for the front door. Although he didn't need to be at the office for a while, it was just good to be there early and plan ahead before some crisis broke out (and it always did, especially on Mondays). He didn't want to let the mice have their day while he was away, and his presence was the best measure against shit going down. Everyone was too intimidated when he was actually in his office.
Jonouchi was following him outside, so Kaiba got into his car, taking the driver's seat and not waiting for his "guest" to get inside with him before he turned on the engine. He took off as soon as the passenger door closed, speeding down the driveway and getting past the gates of the property before driving towards downtown.
He really liked the drive, too. Kaiba Corporation's skyscraper was visible from all corners of Domino, and Kaiba couldn't lie about that giving him chills. It made him feel powerful, having that kind of influence. No one could escape him, not in his city, and smirking to himself and ignoring Jonouchi's discomfort with his mad driving, he speeded through the highway before getting off into the main streets and getting into the underground parking garage next to the main KC building.
From there, Jonouchi could take care of himself.
While Kaiba's driving was alarming, and his slightly maniacal smirk even more so, Jonouchi managed to stay relatively calm during the ride. He was grateful to get out of the car and step into the car park near the Kaiba Corporation building, but he wasn't complaining about the free ride. Fast driving was exhilarating, he had to admit, but he didn't quite trust Kaiba's control. He'd fucked up a couple of times during the trip, but he was saved by his vehicle's control and brakes.
"Thanks for the ride," Jonouchi offered as they left the car park, "I guess I'll catch a bus or train to uptown..."
There was a stop right in front of the Kaiba Corporation building. The bus only ran every half hour, though, and it wasn't at even periods. It was too difficult for Jonouchi to keep track of, and the bus didn't sit and wait a while like the train did. May as well just take the metro, especially since he'd need time to change at work.
"Sure, later loser."
Jonouchi decided that after all that had happened in the last couple of days, he'd consider "loser" a term of endearment and just smiled and waved as he and Kaiba split away from each other. Jonouchi immediately found the nearest metro tunnel and went to catch the train, since he didn't see a bus coming. He wasn't sure he had the right change for it, anyway.
Actually, now that he had so much spare cash, he could afford a long-term train pass. That would save him money in the long run. He couldn't afford it before because he'd never had that much to spare in one place. Now that he had an extra few thousand yen on him, he should probably take advantage. And shit, he may as well pay up his rent for a while. He wasn't getting out of that apartment within six months, certainly, and he'd rather use Kitamura's money for that than treating himself.
Speaking of Kitamura, he needed to seriously talk to that guy. He wasn't just going to keep being just a hole for him to fuck, even if his money was good. Jonouchi did really like having cash to spare. It was insane for him. But it wasn't worth it, not that much...
He'd have a second job soon, if he could help it, so he didn't need Kitamura's bullshit. He could have his damn phone back...
Jonouchi got a month pass for the train and caught the next one uptown. He'd forgotten to pack his shirt for work when he stayed at Kaiba's place, but he left one at work for situations such as this. It had been his manager's suggestion after he'd failed to change clothes enough times.
When he got in, the place was understaffed. Usually there were at least three servers in the little place, two people for cooking and prep, and a dishwasher. The usual roster was depleted to two people in the kitchen, and one serving, not including Jonouchi. He was immediately confused by this situation and sought his manager to find out what was going on. If people were sick or hadn't come in for their shift, that meant a long day for him. Not that he minded staying longer; it wasn't like he wouldn't be paid. Still, it would be best to find out for sure.
His manager, Nishimura, was in the kitchen slicing noodles. Usually he was in his office handling paperwork and whatever else managers did.
"Jonouchi!" He shouted the moment he caught sight of him. He appeared to be tired, and the look on his face made Jonouchi wary. His boss was short, even for the Japanese average, and was a rather skinny man in his late forties. Not a very intimidating appearance, which was why a lot of his employees got out of line more than was proper. They found out quickly that the boss's temper didn't match his unassuming appearance.
"What is it?"
"I need to talk to you."
Jonouchi followed as Nishimura walked toward his office. He didn't seem angry, but he was hardly his usual, amiable self. When they got in, he shut the office door and sat down with a sigh.
"Is something wrong?" Jonouchi asked hesitantly. Was he in trouble? It was difficult to tell. "Where is everyone?"
"The general manager is making me cut back," Nishimura replied, looking frustrated. There had probably been an argument. "He claims that giving everyone all the hours they want regardless of performance is decreasing "profit margins"."
Jonouchi hardly knew what that meant. He did, however, understand the term "cut back", which usually meant he was about to be broke. He listened, wide-eyed, as his boss continued speaking, dreading what he knew was about to be said.
"I have to figure out who to have in when, who to keep, who to fire...my schedule is a mess. I only called in about half the usual staff today because I needed to keep on certain people for certain times, and the others weren't as necessary."
"So..." Jonouchi spoke when his manager paused. "Does that mean I have a double shift today, or...?"
"Not today," Nishimura ran his fingers through his hair, "But this coming Friday I've got you on a twelve hour."
"And...what about the rest of the week?" Jonouchi felt like he was about to break into a cold sweat. Nishimura was skirting the issue, and even Jonouchi could tell when it was that obvious.
"I'm afraid I can't bring you in much until I get things settled. I'll probably have to call you as-needed, but I won't have schedules made for full weeks until...probably four weeks from now."
"Four weeks?" Jonouchi gaped. And no hours for the rest of the week until Friday, most likely. "What am I supposed to do about money?"
"You'll have to find a way to stretch out your paycheck until the turmoil is over," the man looked genuinely regretful. Not that it was his fault. Jonouchi wasn't enough of a child to think that his manager was cutting his hours for shits and giggles, or that the GM just wanted to fuck everyone over. "I'm sorry, Jonouchi, but my hands are tied right now."
Jonouchi couldn't really say anything to that. He leaned against the wall, groaning as he shut his eyes and tugged at his hair. No hours for a week. He barely got by on what he was paid for full-time hours. How was he supposed to live on less than part-time?
"How long do I work today?"
"You're scheduled for eight hours."
"Right," Jonouchi sighed, trying not to look at his manager. It felt very tense in the office now. There was nothing to be done, and he needed to punch in as soon as he could. "Am I serving?"
"For now. When things slow down, I need you on dishes."
"Yes, sir."
Jonouchi excused himself and left, entering the loud space of the kitchen. It showed that they were understaffed. Everyone was trying to work too fast and looked twice as tired as usual. It was going to be a hard eight hours. He punched in before changing his shirt in the broom closet and finding an apron. The one server who was already on shift was shouting for him frantically, and dawdling wasn't going to help anyone at this point.
He didn't have time to think about how he was going to survive during the shift. It was fast-paced beyond reason, and he had to put extra work into remembering twice as many orders and not running into his coworkers while he ran around with trays. By the end of it, his feet hurt for the first time in a long time, and he was more than ready to leave. Work had never been that tiring before now.
Jonouchi felt bad for the cooks. They were two of only six that were hired on at the restaurant, and they were apparently working until close. At least he got to leave before he was well and truly exhausted.
He sat on the curb when he got outside. It was hardly comfortable, but he didn't have the energy to walk to somewhere he could find a bench. He felt drained, and strangely dirty. He'd worked up a bit of a sweat from running in and out of the kitchen so frequently, rushing around the restaurant to do twice his usual work in the same time...
Normally, he wasn't all that upset after he left the restaurant. Right now, he felt like he never wanted to go back.
He was staring vacantly at people strolling and bustling about on the other side of the street when his phone started to vibrate in his pocket. The smartphone. He sighed. The last thing he wanted to deal with right now was Kitamura. Especially now that he might actually need that money. He didn't want to feel that dependent. Jonouchi had never been the type to do anything to keep a certain standard of living. He'd do a lot. But not anything.
He checked the phone anyway, since ignoring it wasn't going to make it go away. Maybe chewing Kitamura out for mistreating him would make him feel a little better, even if he did get his ass kicked out because of it. Would that really be so bad, though, comparatively? He'd rather have to sleep outside for a while then put up with swallowing Kitamura's semen. No way was he doing that again. Ever.
It was a booty call, of course. Kitamura wanted to go to dinner. The tone of the messages was cheerful as usual. The only time Jonouchi had really seen the man in a bad mood was when Kaiba met with him, and that was because he hadn't been getting what he wanted...
What he wanted. Jonouchi realized with a dawning sense of dread that he might have more trouble with him than he predicted.
He said he wasn't in a fit state to have dinner, but Kitamura insisted. Even complimented him by saying he always looked good. Not that he saw him all that much. Then again, Kitamura had seen him drunk and fucked raw, so...
So Jonouchi stood up and started walking. If he was going to have bullshit thrown at him all day, he may as well man up and deal with it.
Kitamura was waiting for him at the restaurant specified. It was an expensive place further uptown than the little soba restaurant where Jonouchi worked. As the hostess led Jonouchi to Kitamura's table, he heard the noise of grills from the direction of the kitchens, and what sounded like bursts of flame. Maybe there was a hibachi in the back of the restaurant.
Kitamura had chosen a secluded table, fortunately. Jonouchi sat across from him, still wearing his work shirt and jeans and feeling very disheveled. Not that it mattered. Kitamura always made him shower anyway, and it was his own fault if Jonouchi didn't look his best. He'd come straight from a shitty work day.
"It's good to see you," Kitamura greeted unexpectedly. Jonouchi snorted. Of course it was good to see him. Seeing him meant getting laid, or so their past dictated.
"Yeah, well," Jonouchi wasn't sure how to respond. Part of him wanted to be difficult, but at the same time, he was tired. "Sorry I'm such a mess. Work was a pain in the ass today."
"That's the nature of it, I suppose," Kitamura laughed. He didn't look anywhere near as tired as Jonouchi felt, but he could guess that working in business wasn't exactly a cakewalk, either. "Don't worry about it, Jonouchi. You look great."
"Um," Jonouchi's brows furrowed in confusion. Kitamura didn't usually complement him, and he was starting to wonder about his motivation. It wasn't like he hadn't got what he wanted in the past without doing any real ass-kissing. Jonouchi wasn't sure if he should be suspicious or pleased.
"Do you want to look over the menu? The server will probably be back soon."
"Yeah, sure," Jonouchi muttered, looking over the meals. Everything was ridiculously expensive. It occurred to him that he should probably put in an application before he left, hopefully without Kitamura noticing. He wasn't sure how he'd work that. It might have to wait until the next day. It wasn't like he'd have anything else to do.
After the server returned and they ordered, Jonouchi stared at the table. He felt like he should tell Kitamura about all the shit he did that bothered him, and insist that he improve, but he hesitated. Firstly, they were in public, and Kitamura might get embarrassed. Secondly, Kitamura was acting differently than usual. Jonouchi wondered if he should wait and see how things played out before he said anything.
"So, Jonouchi," Kitamura's voice drew him from his thoughts, "How have you been?"
"About as well as usual," Jonouchi shrugged, "I'm not starving or homeless, so I'd say things are good."
Kitamura laughed at him. When he saw the offended look on Jonouchi's face, he explained himself.
"Your optimism is inspiring," he stated, grinning. Jonouchi rolled his eyes. What else was he supposed to do, exactly? He didn't have the luxury of sulking time. Sitting around being miserable about everything that went wrong would only slow him down.
"Glad you find it so entertaining."
"Entertaining? Not necessarily. But it's cute."
Cute? Jonouchi gave Kitamura a skeptical look, but didn't reply. He wasn't sure what to do with all these off-handed compliments. He wasn't used to them, and he certainly hadn't come to expect them from Kitamura.
He looked up when he noticed Kitamura shifting, leaning forward across the small table. Jonouchi stared at him, wondering what he was up to. Hopefully he'd know better than to try kissing in public, even if he was American.
"Jonouchi, if you're having problems, you can tell me."
"What?" Jonouchi wanted to lean back to make space, but he was already pressed against his seat as far as he could go.
"I mean that I'd be happy to help out if you need it. I don't want to embarrass you, but I know you have money problems. I don't, obviously, so don't hesitate to ask if you need anything."
"Uh...thanks?" Jonouchi gave Kitamura an uneven look. Why was he being so nice? Not that he'd been mean before, but usually their meetings had been hooking up for some pretense, and then Jonouchi got paid for letting Kitamura fuck him. It wasn't any spoken agreement, and Kitamura had certainly never actually stated intentions.
"Why are you saying this, exactly?"
"Well," Kitamura straightened. He didn't meet Jonouchi's eyes immediately, and looked thoughtful. Jonouchi found it strange that Kitamura's face didn't wrinkle up in any way when he was thinking. He looked more vacant, except for the fact that his dark eyes were sharply focused. "While I was away, I put some more thought into our...arrangement. I thought perhaps changes should be made."
"Actually, I was thinking the same thing," Jonouchi seized the opportunity, figuring it was probably a great time to tell Kitamura off. He was being exceptionally strange, which made Jonouchi far less concerned about making him upset. Before he could continue speaking, however, Kitamura faced him with an expression of urgency.
"I wondered if you would consider being exclusive," the words practically fell out of his mouth, and Jonouchi felt frozen in place when he heard them. Partly because it took a moment for him to process what had been said, but mostly because he couldn't believe it. Considering how Kitamura had acted before, he felt that he had every right to be shocked.
"Wait," his lips pressed into a line as he thought over Kitamura's statement, "You mean you weren't already?"
Kitamura looked surprised that he had asked. So that was probably a "no".
"Relationships aren't exactly a priority of mine," Kitamura huffed, though he averted his eyes when Jonouchi directed an accusing glare at him, "It's never been a necessity."
"So why is it now?" Jonouchi challenged. Not that he knew Kitamura all that well, but his motivations had hardly seemed sincere before. With all he'd seen and heard, it was probably best to be skeptical.
"I'm interested in you," Kitamura met his eyes again, "And I'd rather devote more energy to that than...spread myself thin, if you catch my meaning."
"So, what? You're asking me to be your mistress? I'm not really interested in that."
"What?" Kitamura looked confused and slightly offended, but god only knew what he was actually thinking. "No, not like that. I meant dating."
Jonouchi was again shocked into silence and had to take a moment to think. Was this real life? He obviously was dreaming, or something. Maybe he'd passed out at work. Or maybe the whole thing had been a nightmare and he was still asleep at Kaiba's house.
But no, his subconscious wasn't that creative. Which meant that this was real and he'd have to deal with it. Kitamura was waiting for a response, his face stoic, but Jonouchi could see that his jaw was tense. What the hell was he supposed to say? Up to this point, he'd just been a guy Kitamura paid for sex more than once. That was hardly the kind of thing that preceded a steady relationship. At least, not in real life. Anzu's stupid yaoi eromanga usually went something like that.
"I'm not sure what to say," Jonouchi admitted. He had no idea what was coming of his life anymore. "I don't know you that well, and I really don't understand you. This seems sudden."
"Perhaps to you," Kitamura argued, "But I've had weeks to think about it. You don't have to answer now, if you don't want to, but you know how I feel."
What was this? Patience? Yet another thing he hadn't really seen from Kitamura before. Jonouchi had absolutely no clue what to think of the man anymore. The first impression he gave wasn't exactly opposite to his current behavior; he seemed capable of making such a choice, but he'd never seemed interested.
The server returned with their dishes, and Jonouchi had a little time while frantically scarfing his food to think. It occurred to him that it might not be the worst idea to take Kitamura up on his offer. Maybe if he was serious about "dating", then he'd stop treating Jonouchi like a hired whore and actually have sex. That was Jonouchi's only complaint with him, really, aside from maybe the fact that Kitamura was probably messing around other places too.
But "exclusive" meant he wouldn't anymore, right? Not that Jonouchi would be able to tell if he was true to it or not, since they only saw each other for a day out of every few weeks.
He needed the money if he wanted to keep food in his stomach and a roof over his head. If he could tolerate living without those things for a while, he didn't need the money. It was more like...a convenience. So at least he didn't have to feel too dependent, especially after he found another job. And maybe seeing what a real relationship was like wouldn't be a bad idea, either. He wouldn't have to privately shame himself for being a prostitute, if he did.
When they were finished eating, they didn't speak to each other, but Jonouchi could tell Kitamura was just giving him time to think. It wasn't until they stepped out of the restaurant and were standing a bit awkwardly on the sidewalk that Jonouchi conquered his hesitation. They probably looked like exactly what they were, standing outside a four-star restaurant together. Kitamura, an older and well-kept businessman (and wearing his suit, no less) beside Jonouchi, who looked like the lower-class urchin he was.
"So," he began, watching the minimal traffic on the street. He could tell Kitamura was looking at him. "I thought about what you said."
"Okay," Kitamura said in English, sounding expectant. And nervous. That wasn't exactly out of character for the situation, he supposed.
"It doesn't seem like a bad idea. Not what I expected my first relationship to be like, but my whole life is kind of off-the-wall, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised..."
Jonouchi couldn't understand why he was nervous. He was babbling, and Kitamura was probably smart enough to tell, but he didn't seem bothered by it. He seemed overjoyed when Jonouchi looked at him, actually. He obviously wasn't afraid of showing it and ruining the businesslike image he projected.
"That's fantastic!" Kitamura surprised Jonouchi with a victory fist-pump. Wasn't he a little old for that? Then again, he was American. They were all loud. "Then, do you want to stay at my room tonight?"
"Um," Jonouchi stared at Kitamura as he thought it over. He was slightly reluctant to have sex again, but he didn't exactly want to walk home in the dark, either. He was too tired for that shit right now. He'd probably end up falling asleep on the metro and riding to the end of the line. Assuming no creeps fucked him up first. "Sure, I don't see why not. Are we walking?"
He didn't want to walk. He could feel blisters forming on a few of his toes, his heels were sore, and his shoes were so worn down that they did little to protect his feet from the effects of heavy work.
"Oh, no," Kitamura chuckled, seeming highly amused by the prospect of walking. He started to wander down the sidewalk, and Jonouchi followed. "No, I don't really walk anywhere, if I can help it."
He'd apparently parked nearby. Jonouchi wasn't complaining about having a car to ride in, and was in the passenger seat even before Kitamura got in. Then he relaxed, taking the time of the drive to close his eyes and try to get his second wind. He had a feeling he would need it.
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Ambivalence