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Shopping, Sex and Fruitcake	By : DarkTemptations Category: Yu-Gi-Oh > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 2177 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh!, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
- 10
Title: Shopping, Sex and Fruitcake 8/10

Author: Dark Temptations

Beta: Vash is my Angel

Rating: NC17 *smiles sweetly*

Summary: A week before Christmas, Seto has a scare. Underneath his tree is bare! The deadline's approaching, the gifts are in doubt. But Joey has promised to help Seto out. A week of shopping, chaos and more. How much trouble lies in store? Will a visitor be a foe or a friend? Will Joey and Seto find love in the end? Peppermint peckers and kisses so sweet. This fic has it all for a Christmassy treat!

Disclaimer: Since I am not a Japanese guy - I obviously don't own Yugioh or any of the Yugioh characters. Since I'm also not a 'comfortably padded' guy in a red suit with a white beard - I also obviously don't own Santa Claus. I do own a couple of elves... but they're not in this fic - since that would make it a crossover and they're not allowed at the Lair *smiles sweetly*. Merry Christmas to all and to all a... Oh wait - I don't own that line either.

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Dark Temptations Presents

Shopping, Sex and Fruitcake

Chapter 8

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When Seto walked into Yugi's living room, he almost walked right out again to see if it really was colder outside in the snow. For a group of people who were normally all the best of friends and who spent their time together laughing and talking happily, the mood in that room was surprisingly arctic. He knew from the way Wheeler and Mokuba looked around in confusion that it wasn't just his imagination either.

"Hey guys, what's with all the glarin'? Did we walk in on a fight or somethin'?"

Seto envied Wheeler's directness at times. It gave him the strength to say what others - like himself - could only wonder and think to themselves.

Yugi blushed as he hurried over to greet them. "Hi Joey, hi Kaiba, hi Mokuba, um... in a way... I guess... maybe." He smiled at Mokuba. "Grampa's in the kitchen. He could probably use a little help. Would you mind...?"

"Going out there so you can guys can talk about the fight? No problem." Mokuba hurried out.

As soon as he was gone, Joey arched an eyebrow. "You're kiddin'? A fight on Christmas Eve? What happened?"

Téa also came over to them and Seto was surprised to see her in 'battle mode' - with determined eyes and a serious pout on her face instead of her usual sunny smile. "It all started when Tristan..."

"That's right, blame me why don't you?" Tristan glared at her from his armchair as he interrupted. Duke - sitting on the arm of his boyfriend's chair - winced and looked uncomfortable.

Téa crossed her arms and glared back at him. "You were the one who bought it and you were the one who gave it away first. That's not blaming, that's stating a fact!" She continued to glare at Tristan while the boy grew red in the face and looked away in silence. "As I was saying..." She turned back to Joey and Seto. "It all started when Tristan bought a fruitcake and gave it to Mai for Christmas."

The two boys traded wary glances at each other. "A fruitcake? This fight or whatever is over some fruitcake?" Wheeler looked as skeptical as Seto felt.

"Not just any fruitcake, hon." Mai sauntered over to greet the boys with hugs and kisses on their cheeks. "Five pounds of cheap fruitcake. The kind that settles in your stomach like lead until next Christmas and every bite adds at least an inch to your hips." She pouted at them both and struck a sexy pose. "Now I ask you, boys... Do these hips look like they need any more inches on them, to you?"

Nudging Wheeler discreetly in the ribs to stop him from ogling the curvaceous blonde, Seto arched an eyebrow and looked at Mai's face rather than where she was directing them to look. "So you refused the gift?"

"Oh no, hon. I never refuse a gift." Mai smiled and Seto felt Joey shudder and move a little closer to him. He didn't blame him. Mai's smile reminded him of a tigress eyeing off her prey before she pounced. "Besides, that would have just left him confused and me annoyed. No, I rewrapped it and sent it to Duke for Christmas, instead."

Seto glanced over at Devlin in time to see the raven teen scowl and glare furiously at Mai. He looked back at her. "If your intention was to annoy Tristan and Duke... it would appear that you succeeded."

Mai shook her head. "My intention was for Duke to rant and rave about the gift to his boyfriend. I knew he would. He and I have similar taste for the finer things in life. Who better to let Tristan know just how ill-suited his gift had been for me?"

Not for the first time, Seto was forcibly reminded that Mai was more than a beautiful blonde. She was a very intelligent, beautiful blonde.

"Besides which, I really wanted to get rid of that thing. It smelled of brandy." Mai shuddered.

A very intelligent, beautiful blonde with a keen nose for scent.

Seto glanced over at Taylor and Devlin again and almost snickered at the stunned looks on their faces. From the rising colour in their cheeks, it looked as if Mai's plan had worked - but they had been too insulted over her passing on the fruitcake to realise her ulterior motive.

"So when were you planning on giving Devlin his real present?" He was playing a hunch but it was more of an educated guess, based on what he knew of Mai's personality.

Mai shrugged. "When Tristan apologises for his gift." She looked over at the boy in question and sniffed before looking away again - obviously very miffed that he hadn't done that yet.

Seto looked over at the boys again and was curious at their reaction to that. Tristan looked embarrassed now but Devlin...

"Is it just me or does Devlin look like he's about to either cry, pass out or crawl under the couch to hide?" Joey's whisper in his ear confirmed Seto's own thoughts. He nodded in agreement.

"Well that's all well and good, but in giving him the fruitcake, you've set off a landslide. Or cakeslide." Bakura scowled at Mai and drew the boy beside him even closer. Ryou cuddled into his darker half and looked like he was dangerously close to tears.

Mai bit her lip and looked at Ryou, her indignation fading until she looked a little guilty. "I'm sorry, hon, it was supposed to be between me and Tristan. I pulled Duke into it deliberately, but I have no idea why he got the two of you involved as well."

Joey and Seto traded glances to see if the other was confused as he was, then looked at Mai. "What are ya talkin' about, Mai?" Joey looked over at Devlin and then at Bakura and Ryou. "Will someone please stop assumin' that we know the full story and just say what's goin' on? My head's startin' to hurt!"

Devlin sighed. "Bakura told Tristan off a few days ago. He accused him of flirting with Ryou and trying to get him into bed. It's not the first time he's said something like that, either. This has been going on for a few weeks now. I was tired of it and I wanted to get back at him. I was trying to come up with something when the fruitcake turned up. So I sent it to Bakura. It got rid of it and since it had annoyed me, I figured it would annoy him, too."

He scowled around the room. "Okay, so it was petty and childish of me. I know that! I wasn't exactly thinking clearly at the time. I admit it. But ever since then, Bakura's been chewing me out over upsetting Ryou and I didn't do anything to him!" He glared at Bakura who glared right back at him.

"Didn't do anything? You idiot. You addressed the package to him rather than me! Of course he got upset over it. He thought you'd sent him a fruitcake!" Bakura hugged his other closer as Ryou snuggled into him - the quiet boy sending Devlin a very sad and hurt look.

Devlin winced. "Well how was I supposed to know you'd let him keep that one!"

"What?" Bakura looked as if he wasn't sure he'd heard that right. "What are you talking about, Devlin? Ryou's gifts are Ryou's gifts. What's this rubbish about my letting him keep them?"

"I heard Ryou telling Yugi about it. He said you were opening all his presents." Duke sneered at Bakura. "Really nice, that is. Taking your boyfriend's gifts and opening them. That's why I addressed the fruitcake to Ryou. I knew you'd get it instead. What, did you open it and see what it was and then decide he could have it after all?"

Bakura looked stunned. Really stunned. He just sat and stared at the smug raven-haired teen for at least a minute before he suddenly stunned everyone else there by doing what no one expected.

He burst out laughing.

As his dark half howled with mirth, Ryou looked at Duke. He spoke very softly but somehow his voice was easily heard over Bakura's noise. "I gave Bakura one of his presents early, in exchange for a promise that he would stop trying to peek at the others. He has been using it as much as possible since then, because he likes it so very much. What you overheard was my telling Yugi how Bakura always looked so eager, whenever I got a gift, that I would give it to him... so he could use his new pocketknife to open it for me. It made him happy and I got my gifts more easily."

A hint of steel crept into the softly-spoken boy's voice as he looked steadily at the raven-haired teen. "Bakura may have been a tomb-robber in Ancient Egypt, but he would never steal my Christmas presents in this time." He snuggled into his laughing other and nuzzled him affectionately.

Seto didn't think he'd ever seen Duke Devlin look so ashamed or embarrassed.

Or Bakura so amused over something that hadn't involved bloodshed or chaos.

"I... I'm so sorry, Ryou. I really didn't mean to upset you. I misunderstood the situation. But..." Devlin glared at Bakura - who was finally calming down. "That doesn't mean I don't think he deserves fruitcake for what he's been saying to Tristan. Why would he need anyone else when he has me? Or don't you think I can handle him, Bakura? Maybe you think I'm not manly enough, is that it?"

Bakura glared right back at him. "I don't think about your manliness one way or another! You are so full of yourself, Devlin. This has nothing to do with you. Tristan's been hitting on Ryou. End of story. I'm not saying anything about you not being enough for him or anything like that. I just know what he's been doing and saying to my Ryou!" He hugged his other so tightly, the boy squeaked. "Oops... Sorry Ryou."

The boy panted as he was released enough to breathe properly again. "Tristan has not been hitting on me." He blushed very deeply.

"There! See!" Devlin practically crowed in triumph.

Bakura frowned at Ryou. "Ryou... A few weeks ago, I heard him ask you where you wanted it."

There was not a face in the room that didn't turn bright red at that point, but Ryou's was definitely the deepest of all the blushes.

"Bakura! He meant the bag of groceries he had just carried inside for me! Tristan's been helping me with my shopping ever since the first snowfall. It's a long walk from the shops to our house through the snow." Ryou looked over at Tristan and smiled weakly. "I am so sorry about all of this. I had no idea he was saying anything like that to you. If I had known, I would have explained it much sooner."

Tristan smiled a little and nodded. "It's fine. I guess I was at fault too. I didn't once think to ask him why he was saying it. I just thought he was insecure about being the one you were interested in."

At Bakura's indignant exclamation, Tristan shrugged at him. "Hey, I thought you were being relatively human. Do you really want to complain about it?"

While Bakura was thinking about that, Seto and Joey took the seats Yugi pointed them to - sitting together on the other sofa. Seto looked around at the group, noticing that while a part of the coldness in the room had gone, some of it remained.

A suspicion was beginning to grow at the back of his mind.

"So who got the fruitcake after that?" Ignoring the surprised looks his question received, the brunette focused on Bakura reaction and knew he'd guessed right.

"Yami." Bakura's grin was anything but surprised. It was the textbook definition of smug.

Yugi gasped and would have dropped the plate of snacks he had just brought in if Téa hadn't noticed the danger and quickly taken them off him. "You sent it to him? But the tag... We thought..." He glanced at Duke and looked very guilty.

Bakura shrugged. "Devlin had sent me a fruitcake. The least I could do was use it for an appropriate revenge while getting rid of it. I signed his name when I rewrapped it and sent it to Yami."

"You what?" Devlin stared at the white haired boy in shock.

"Hey, you were the one who signed your name on the gift tag when you sent it to Ryou. If you didn't want me to be able to forge your signature, you shouldn't have given me a sample of it." The boy shrugged again.

There were some facts that - when pointed out - were so logical it was impossible to argue with them.

Devlin winced and looked at Yugi. "I have a bad feeling about this. If Yami thought I was the one who sent it..." He looked rather pale.

Yugi bit his lip and looked even guiltier than he had been looking a minute earlier. "Oh dear... Would anyone care for a snack? How about a drink? I'll just go and get some drinks." He whirled around and made a beeline for the door to the kitchen.

He stopped at the sound that no light half of a soul could ever resist and looked back at Duke. "Oh... please don't whimper, Duke. He didn't do anything... too serious. Truly!"

Duke went even paler. "Define 'anything too serious'."

"Well... um..." Yugi looked very torn.

A sigh came from the other doorway - the one that led upstairs to the bedrooms. "Believing that you had sent it to me, I inadvertently did something similar to Bakura. I had Yugi rewrap it and then sent it to someone else. In your name." Yami entered the room, looking a little pale although it was more likely his colour came from the lingering effects of his cold rather than any guilt or embarrassment. "My apologies, Devlin. I will, of course, write to him and take full responsibility for it."

He looked at Bakura and his eyes narrowed. "As for you..."

Bakura shrugged. "Hey, it was just a little revenge on Devlin. He sent me a fruitcake. You know the feeling. You did the same thing I did. You get a fruitcake, you pass the fruitcake on to someone you dislike to get rid of it. It's a tradition as old as the pyramids."

"Well he would know..." Seto fought back a grin at Joey's whispered comment.

"It's not like it was anything personal. Well... you already knew I disliked you, so it's nothing new and personal." Bakura shrugged again, but looked a little less sure of himself as Yami continued to scowl at him. "In case your forehead starts glowing, I'm taking hostages." He picked up the plate of small sausage rolls Yugi had brought out from the kitchen earlier and held them between him and Yami.

Yami glanced at the sausage rolls, then scowled more deeply at Bakura. "It was indeed personal. It is your fault that I caught a cold."

Bakura arched an eyebrow. "Care to explain that leap of logic to me?"

"There is no leap." Yami glanced at the sausage rolls again. "Will you put those down?"

"No. They're hostages. Now explain this cold thing." Bakura moved the plate a little, at Ryou's nudge.

Yami watched as Ryou happily took a sausage roll and began to eat it. "You left the fruitcake on the doorstep after ringing the bell. It was mid-afternoon so Yugi was at school and Grampa was serving customers in the shop. Grampa heard the bell and called for me to get it. I was in the bath at the time."

Bakura winced. "Unfortunate, but not my fault. That's the law of probability. Things are always more likely to happen if you're in the bath." He arched an eyebrow. "Hang on. Are you saying you caught cold because you went to get the package straight from the bath?"

Everyone watched in interest as Yami turned a rather deep shade of pink. "Yes."

They waited for him to elaborate.

He looked at Duke. "I believe I will go and write that letter now. If you will all excuse me." He was gone before anyone could do more than blink - although he did call back to Yugi to ask him to rescue a few of Bakura's hostages and bring them up to him in a little while.

Yugi sighed at his other half's stubbornness and smiled wryly around at everyone. "He's a bit embarrassed over it. Seeing the package reminded Yami that Grampa had asked him to bring the mail in earlier and he had forgotten about it. He went out to the mailbox, but the back door has an automatic lock, so he jammed it open with something. He was on his way back when there was a strong gust of wind. The thing he'd jammed the door open with snapped with the extra pressure and the door slammed shut. Poor Yami was locked outside."

Bakura snickered, then yelped as Ryou kicked his ankle. He pouted at the boy and offered him another sausage roll - eyeing him warily when Ryou smiled sweetly and took one. Returning his attention to Yugi, Bakura shrugged. "So why didn't the almighty Pharaoh just go around to the front door?"

Everyone watched in interest as it was Yugi's turn to go an even deeper shade of pink than Yami.

"Well... Grampa had a customer at the time and Yami didn't want to get Grampa or himself in trouble. You see... he was only wearing a towel at the time." Yugi blushed even more deeply as Bakura howled with laughter for a few seconds before yelping loudly.

Giving the plate of sausage rolls to Ryou to hold, Bakura rubbed his sore ankle and arched an eyebrow at Yugi. "So that's how he got his cold huh? Sorry Yugi. I'm sure he hasn't been the easiest of patients. Colds seem to bring out the grumpy side in people and he's not exactly Mr Sunshine, as it is."

Yugi went to reply but Duke had been listening in growing agitation and apparently couldn't stand it any longer. "Yugi! Who did Yami send the fruitcake to? I really need to know!" He looked very pale and worried.

Yugi bit his lip and looked apologetic and very guilty. "Um... that would be... Pegasus."

Duke's eyes went wide and he leaned heavily against his boyfriend's arm. "No wonder he hasn't answered my last three emails."

Seto ignored the muttering teen and sighed heavily. "I knew it."

Téa - sitting in the chair nearest Seto's side of the couch - looked at him curiously. "What?"

He was about to answer when he realised that her question had caught the attention of the others and Seto found himself with more of an audience than he had expected. He sighed again. "It seems the fruitcake in question had one more recipient. Pegasus stopped by my estate last night." He pulled the gift box out of the bag he and Wheeler had taken there and opened it.

Bakura peered into the box and cringed. "I don't know which is more horrifying... the sight of that fruitcake or the box it's in."

"I'd go with the box on that one." Joey's comment was unanimously agreed upon.

Duke eyed the box and then Seto warily. "So... what are you going to do with it? More to the point... why did you bring it here?"

Seto smiled wryly. "I had thought to offer it up for dessert..." He waited for all the shocked and horrified gasps to die down before adding, "but considering Yami's dislike of it, that would most likely get me cursed for a few hundred years at least, so I believe I will just throw it away on the way home."

While Seto was speaking, Isis, Odion, Malik and Marik arrived and came into the room. Marik looked around at everyone and tilted his head curiously. "What's going on? What are you all talking about?" He perched on the arm of the chair beside Seto and idly patted his head in greeting. "Hey Kaiba."

Seto's eyes narrowed at the pat. "Fruitcake." It was unclear if he was answering Marik or insulting him.

Marik's eyes lit up. "Fruitcake? Really? Where?" He looked all around and then spotted the box in Seto's lap. He pouted at the brunette. "Ooh... that looks so yummy... can I have a slice? Please?"

Seto silently handed the somewhat insane boy the box of fruitcake. "You are more than welcome to the whole thing."

Wide eyes stared at Seto. "Really? For me? All of it? Mine? Thank you!" He happily took the box and hugged it to his chest before grinning at his brothers and sister. "Kaiba gave me a fruitcake!" He hugged it some more as he jumped up and went to Isis to kiss her cheek. "You were right. Asking nicely did get me some fruitcake."

Isis bit her lip and nodded. "As I foresaw. But you are not to eat any until after dinner."

"Yes Isis!" Marik hugged his fruitcake and went to show it to his brothers.

"As you... foresaw?" Seto arched an eyebrow as he stood to greet Isis.

She smiled as she hugged him gently. "Indeed. It seems my necklace has found the travels of that fruitcake to be of great interest. I have been getting flashes of it for the past few weeks. The last one I had today showed you passing it on to Marik... and the effect it will have on him."

Seto nodded. "He does seem quite happy about it."

"He is. But that is not what I mean. A slice of that fruitcake will make him sleep soundly for several hours. That one should last for a few months." Isis smiled serenely before going to greet the others.

As the amused brunette sat down again, Joey leaned in to whisper to him. "Which of them do you find scarier... Marik or Isis?"

A slight smile twitched at the corner of Seto's lips as he turned his head to whisper back. "I believe I would have to choose Isis for that honour."

"Yeah. Me too."

The two teens shared a smile but were interrupted by Yugi as he tried to get everyone's attention.

"All right everyone... now that we're all here, it's time to trade gifts!" He smiled brightly.

"I'm not trading anyone for my fruitcake!" Marik hugged his 'gift' tightly as everyone else shuddered at the idea.

Isis gently patted his hand. "It is all right, Marik. That is yours and no one will take it from you. Yugi means that it is time to give out the presents we have all brought for each other. Remember? You and Malik went shopping for them last night." She pointed to the large Christmas bag Odion was carrying.

Marik grinned and nodded - happy again. "That was so much fun!"

As Yugi and Téa began to organise the presents, Joey leaned close to whisper to Kaiba again. "On second thought... I think Marik just got the edge over Isis. Her plannin' is scary but his likin' Christmas Eve shoppin' is terrifyin'."

tbc
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Shopping, Sex and Fruitcake