Adult-FanFiction.org : Yu-Gi-OH

The Heat of a Card	By : Dchan Category: Yu-Gi-Oh > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1571 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh!, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-The Heat of a Card
- 2-The next day...poor Seto gets involved
- 1
- 2
[Yes, it's another MST. No, I do not own anything other than the bracketed comments. I also do not own any pop culture icon/movie/song/etc that I may use here. I'm in college...if I owned something w/ that much net worth, I'd be anywhere BUT.]

My fucked up story of yugi/???????
[I agree wholeheartedly.]
(I will tell you one thing, It is NOT YAOI! It will be a female.)
[A story with a gender�wow. Yet another miracle of modern medicine, folks.]

I don't own yugioh.
[Yugioh, or Yu-Gi-Oh. Whichever.]
If i [I] did this fanfic may be made into a comic.
[*prostrates herself at the feet of Takahashi-sama in thanks*]
Sucks ass doesn't it?
[�that�d just be TOO easy.]

Yugi and his friends and enimies [enemies] are at the battle city tournament.
[Battle City is a proper noun.]

"Hey Joey! I almost got 6 locator cards" said Yugi Moto, King of Games.
[He almost got them? �Soooo close, yet so far away��
Actually, YAMI is the King of Games. Yugi�s just reinreincarnation. Hmm�Yami�s soul was sealed in the Puzzle, though. How can you be reincarnated if your soul is trapped somewhere? Let us meditate on this. Ommmm�.]

Yugi's favorite card is the Dark Magician.
[This has been another�Useless Fact.]

He also has a Millennium Item the Millennium Puzzle which contains the sprit of The great pharo of egyp Yami.
[I�d like to buy a comma�.
I think anyone who knows the tiniest bit about the series would know that.
Okay, THIS is why you don�t need to type straight into the text box. My keyboard likes omitting letters there, too.]

"So do I, I just need 2 more cards" said Joey, Yugi's best friend and fellow duelist, His favorite card is The Red-Eyes Black Dragon.
[Fascinating. I�m sure their favourite cards are so relevant at this point in the plot.
While commas are our friends, comma splices are not.]

Yugi had just beat arcaina
[I will not give you the proper spelling of this, because it is an evil, EVIL dub name. What the HELL was wrong with Pandora??? *resumes plotting the murders of all YGO dub writers*
And it�s �had just beaten.�]

with the Dark Magician Girl.
[And of COURSE the dubbers couldn�t let them say Black Magician or Black Magician Girl�that might be interpreted as racism. Idiots, the lot of them.]

Suddenly a storm began to develop and Lightning streaked across the sky like a bunch of fireworks.
[Who is Lightening, and why did this person feel the need to run around nude?
I cannot for the life of me remember the last time I saw a bunch of fireworks streaking. That would be an odd sight�sparkling boobs and penises.]

"Yugi, we need to get out of this storm" said Joey. "Yeah Joey, I agree" said Yugi.
Yugi and Joey ran for the nearest building trying to get past the crowd of panicking duelists.
[It�s just a thunderstorm. They�re not gonna melt. Well, except for Mai. Oh, what a world�.]

"Shit, we will never get out of this storm" said Yugi.
[Yugi swore. Fuck.
Do you realize that this fic started in present tense? �Let�s do the Time Warp again�.�]

Then a huge lightning bolt struck Yugi's Duel Disk.
[I did not realize lightning bolts had size categories.]

"AHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAA!" screamed Yugi
[Okay, who cares to know what type of syllable he screamed?]

as the electricity surged through his duel disk
[Duel Disk is a copyrighted brand name. Don�t let Seto know you�re just bandying it about like that.]

and throughout his body.
[Maybe the electricity will make his hair liat.]at.]

Yugi was knocked out.
[Ya THINK?]

After 3 minutes he came to!
[Yay! I�m surprised it didn�t kill the poor boy.]

"What happened?" said Yugi. "Well after you were struck by a lightning bolt your duel disk
[Seto is so gonna sue your ass.]

started to act kinda funny for a moment then stopped." said Joey.
[Um�is it just me or shouldn�t Jou be just a LITTLE concerned here? His best friend just got electrocuted, for Ra�s sake! He sd tad take him to the hospital!]

"It's probably nothing." said Yugi as he and Joey went opposite directions.
[Problems from being hit by lightning take a while to show up sometimes. Usually these people overreact, not blow this kind of stuff off.]

While Yugi was walking he was talking to his spirit.
[Yami is not his spirit; he�s his aibou. Yugi has his own spirit.]

"What is going on with your Duel Disk" Yami said. "I don't know but I think it's proably [probably] nothing." said Yugi. "If you say so" said Yami.

[Yami should be a HELLUVA lot more concerned. His Hikari got struck by lightning!
The dialogue is kinda flat. Ooh! More Coneheads!?]

As Yugi stopped to rest his Duel Disk
[How sweet. He�s resting his Duel Disk.
Now you only owe Kaiba Corporation 5 million.]

went wild
[Duel Disks Gone Wild: Spring Break in Domino!]

and a live figure popped out
[Ow�tight fit.]

due to the advanced holographics and the lightning bolt giving it a extra boost
[That is an incredibly simplistic and unimpressive explanation. What ever happened to �It�s magic?�]

a monster appeared in real life with intelligence.
[Everyone seems to work for the department of redundancy department nowadays.e ape appeared with intelligence? What�s wrong with the pink hearts? Never mind�she�s the BLACK Magician Girl, why does she use PINK hearts? I bet she gives the Black Magician such a migraine�.]

Yugi was still asleep.
[When did that happen?]

The monster (female moster [monster])
[I think everyone has already guessed who this is. Your penname is kind of a giveaway.]

went over to yugi [Yugi], laid down next to him,
[Lay! LAY! The past tense of lie is LAY!]

and smiled. "He looks so cute when he's asleep" she said.
[It�s Yugi. That�s just about the only way he can look.]

When she said this Yugi woke up
[Damn, he�s a light sleeper.]

and looked to his side and he yelled "What the fuck is the Dark Magician Girl doing here?"
[O.O Yugi! Such language! Yami, what the hell have you been teaching him?!
Commas don�t cost anything, you know.]

Well better check the duel disk.
[There goes another few million.]

Yugi checked the duel disk while DMG made advances towards him.
[Damn. Kaiba�s gonna sue you for everything you�ve got.
The Dungeon Master�s Guide is making advances towards Yugi? Come on now; don�t skimp on the details! Is it 3rd Edition or v. 3.5?]

Yugi poked at her to make sure she was a hologram.
[Why would he have any reason to doubt that she was at this point?]

Sad to say (well not sad)
[Then don�t contradict yourself.
Frankly, I am kind of sad. If not one of the hot bishounen cards, it could have been one of the hotter chicks. Dark Elf or Malevolent Nuzzler, for example.]

she wasn't. "Oh my god!" he said. "What?" she said.
[They killed Kenny!]

"OH MY GOD ITS ALIVE!" Yugi yelled in half amazement and half fear.
[All caps�I�d say it�s 99.9% fear.]

"Hey whats the matter?
[Apostrophes are free, too.]

Don't you like me?"
[Well, I like you better than I like Anzu.]

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The Heat of a Card