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I Surrender	By : Amarin Category: Yu-Gi-Oh > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 2707 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh!, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-I Surrender
- 1
I Surrender

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DISCLAIMER: The characters depicted in this story do not belong to me.

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Lyrics from Celine Dion�s �I Surrender�
***
There�s so much life I�ve left to live

and this fire is burning still.

When I watch you look at me,

I think I could find the will�

�to stand for every dream

and forsake the solid ground.

And give up this fear within

of what would happen if they ever knew�

I�m in love with you?
***
Fear. Fear has ruled my life for the past seventeen years. I know most people tend to forget that I�m a teenager � I am the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company, after all � but I can be just as clueless and confused as the next person.
Gozabura took away what was left of my childhood with his evil machinations, turning my inventions into weapons of death � but I�m not going to let him ruin the rest of my life. He thought that he had quenched my passion for life, and turned me into something as ice-cold and heartless as he was. For a while, after his death, I wasn�t sure that he was wrong. I couldn�t feel anything for anyone except Mokuba, and I thought Gozabura had succeeded in stomping out every last shred of my humanity. Then I met�him.
Joey Wheeler.
The mutt infuriated me so much�and yet, I couldn�t live without him. Joey was the only one who�d fight with me. Mokuba and I never had any real problems, and everyone else was too scared of me to try anything. The kids at school practically worshipped me, when all I wanted � though I couldn�t admit it to myself at that point in time � was to be treated just like everyone else.
Joey gave me that, and so much more. Our first arguments showed me that the fire inside me was still there; the heart of who I used to be. I wasn�t always Seto Kaiba, CEO of KaibaCorp. I used to be just Seto Ai, son of Seiko and Mazaki Ai.
Joey treated me like I was still Seto Ai, still like everyone else. That normalcy is what gave me the courage to approach him about my feelings; even when I knew he most likely didn�t feel the same way.
Ironically enough, he did. Guess we were both hiding ottrattraction behind volleys of angry barbs.
It had always been a dream of mine to have friends. Before my parents had both died, I was too young to spend much time with other kids, and then I was taking care of Mokuba. In the orphanage, most people stayed away from me because I was smarter than them, and after Gozabura adopted us�well, enough said, ne?
I could�ve had friends when I went to high school, but I was too scared to act like I cared about anything. Up to that point in my life, everything and everyone I cared about had either been taken away from me � or used against me.
Other than Mokuba, Joey was the first person that I allowed myself to care about, mostly because no one knew I cared about him � and they still don�t. When we first got together, neither of us were sure where this relationship was going, and we both wanted to keep it quiet. Once we were comfortable with each other�well, I�m the CEO of KaibaCorp. However much I might wish for there to be no prejudice against gays�you�ve heard the saying; if wishes were horses, then beggars would ride. In short, just because I wish for it won�t make it real, and I can�t afford to let the public know that I�m gay.
I know Joey wants to tell his friends � but he�s also afraid to. The truth is, so am I. But I wonder what I�m more afraid of: the others hating me if they find out�or of them liking me?
***
�Cause I�d surrender everything

to feel the chance to live again.
***
However much I may have opened up since Joey and I got together, I am still holding back. We�ve been secretly �dating� for almost seven months, and things are getting slightly tense in the intimacy department. I know he wants to go farther than heated kisses and hesitant touches, and so do I�but once again my fear gets in the way.
I�ve never shown anyone the scars. Not even Mokuba. Joey has never asked me why, even when we go swimming together in my pool, I never take my shirt off. And while I am glad he didn�t, be, because I am afraid I might have lied to him�telling him the truth now will be that much harder for the delay.
Gozabura�s attacks were more mental than physical, but his physical assaults were powerful. I was ten when they started, fifteen when they ended, and through those five years, he went from being three times to only twice my size. And I couldn�t hit back, for fear that he would start in on Mokuba�
He never did any lasting damage; I only had a total of five broken bones in those five years, though there were numerous cracked and bruised ribs. But he was very skillful with a knife�and it is amazing how scores of shallow cuts can leave a lasting mark�or marks, as the case may be. Even though the best plastic surgeons that money can buy have operated on them, there is only so much surgery can do.
Scars. Dozens of scars, all across my back, creating a latticework that represents five years of torment. They are very faint and have faded with time, but I know that if Joey and I ever become�intimate�he will see them�feel them. So far, I have managed to keep the knowledge of Gozabura from Joey; I don�t want to taint his goodness with the darkness of my past.
Gozabura froze my heart; Joey melted the ice with the fiery depths of his love. He has gotten me to live again, really live, but there are still parts of me that I keep hidden. I want to live; be free of Gozabura�s ghost and his hold on my life. But in order to break free of the chains he placed on my heart, I will have to surrender myself to Joey, trusting that his love will hold strong even once he knows all of me.
I just hope I have the strength of heart to give myself to him.
***
I reach to you�

I know you can feel it too.

We�d make it through�
**
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I Surrender