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In The Name Of Love	By : Rroselavy Category: Yu-Gi-Oh > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 15409 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh!, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Title: In The Name Of Love
Author: Rroselavy
Rating: NC-17
Pairing(s): Jou/Ryou (briefly), Malik/Ryou, Kaiba/Jou, Mokuba/Shizuka, Yami/Yugi, etc.
Beta: Akuchan
Spoilers: None, AU
Disclaimer: I do not own or profit in any way from Yu-gi-oh!
Summary: For eight years he has scrupulously avoided the brunet, but now with the impending marriage of their siblings, Jounouchi Katsuya and Kaiba Seto are forced to come to terms with the feelings they've secreted away since adolescence.
CHAPTER 1
At age 25, Jounouchi Katsuya had the world by its balls.
He had everything his heart desired, a promising career in front of him, a cozy place of his own, a steady job, and a boyfriend he loved deeply. The world was his oyster, opened on a silver platter, waiting for him to reach out and take it. He was currently finishing his graduate studies, training as a clinical psychologist. His grades had put him at the top of his class, setting him up for the most prized internship, and on the fast track to licensing. His dissertation was almost complete; it would only be a matter of a few short months before he'd be Dr. Jounouchi.
He had long ago escaped the yoke of existence under his father's drunken thumb, and while Jou sometimes helped his father financially, he'd been able to avoid the confrontations that had scarred his adolescence. He had accepted his father's alcoholism and gambling addiction and inability to overcome them, and had come to terms with the fact that it was not his fault. Nor did he have anything to do with his parents' divorce. Those revelations had lifted a world of weight off Jou's shoulders, and freed him to consider his own needs and desires. He'd worked his ass off the last two years of high school, earning the scholarship that had gotten him into the undergraduate program in psychology at Domino University. When he'd graduated the psych program at the top of his class, he had been assured acceptance into the Clincal PhD program that he was currently finishing.
He stood waiting outside the emergency door bays of the University Hospital, a glance at his watch told him it was past 1:30 AM. Ryou was late, which wasn't unusual for an ER intern. What was unusual had been the phone call Jou had received from his boyfriend earlier that evening. Ryou never called him when he was on a shift unless it was something important.
"Sweetheart," Ryou had said softly, "I need to speak with you. Can you come meet me after work tonight?"
"Sure, hon, is everything okay?"
"Yes, we'll talk when I see you, Jou-chan."
"Okay babe, later. Love you."
"Love you too."
Jou's instincts told him something was amiss. But he was confident that as long as they were communicating, there was nothing they couldn't work out. He wondered with vague unease what could be disturbing his love. They were set to spend the day together tomorrow, their only shared day off in the coming week, he hoped that nothing had come up to interfere with their plans, his plans, for a romantic picnic at the park.
It still thrilled Jou to think of himself in love. Of being loved. It had happened so unexpectedly, so out of the blue. He'd resigned himself to the life of a monk, at least until he'd finished his studies. He convinced himself he didn't have time for a relationship. And then Ryou had come to him broken and hurt, seeking only his company, his solace. Ryou had finally found the courage to stand up to his then-boyfriend Malik's physical and emotional abuse and called it quits. He had run into Jou on campus that same evening and begged him to keep him safe from the rage that he'd left Malik in. From Jou's comfort and safety sprang a deeper friendship, and then the fragile beginnings of a relationship.
Because of their schedules, sometimes they went weeks only able to talk on the phone or grab a meal together, but still their relationship had blossomed. They had been more than pleasantly surprised at the chemistry that had pushed them together, delighted further in each other's level of trust and understanding.
Jou had weathered all of his friends' warnings that Ryou could not possibly be true. Honda had been vehemently against it, telling Jou in no uncertain terms that Ryou would break his heart. That he just wasn't right for Jou. That he loved Malik and Malik only. Anzu had cautioned Jou about getting involved in a rebound relationship, as those almost never lasted. Even Yugi had expressed trepidation at the match-up, could not see how Ryou's almost pathological need to be dominated could ever be assuaged by good-natured, loyal Jou.
Jou had stubbornly ignored them all, shrugged his shoulders and grit his teeth. It had hurt not to have their support, and for a brief time he'd thought bitterly that perhaps it was he who they thought was unworthy. He'd just as quickly pushed the destructive thoughts from his mind, and almost a year later he and Ryou were a couple with a capital 'C.'
Jou had come straight from the restaurant he'd worked at since high school. He'd started there first busing tables, then became a kitchen assistant, before apprenticing as a chef. He had excellent knife skills, and was pleased to have found a better, if not more lucrative use for them than in his former life as a gang enforcer. He was still wearing his chef pants and clogs as he waited patiently for his white-haired lover, waiting to hold him, to kiss him, to just share a few moments with him.
He glanced at the doors to see Ryou coming toward him. As Jou watched, he pulled his silvery hair from the neat ponytail he wore it in while on duty. He knew Jou loved to run his hands through it, to bury his nose in it, to drink in deeply his scent. He smiled tiredly at Jou, a twinge of sadness clouding his chocolate-colored eyes.
"Tough day, babe?" Jou asked as Ryou melted into his embrace. They held each other tightly; their bodies melded as one, Jou marveling at how well they fit together. How right it felt to hold Ryou against him, to stroke his hair, and to trail kisses across his pearly, translucent skin.
"Yes," Ryou murmured, "I lost a patient."
Jou hugged him tighter. Ryou was devastated whenever a patient died. He took it personally, second-guessing whether or not there was something he missed, some test or procedure he could have run to prevent the inevitable. He would become undone after breaking the news to the family members, often shedding his own tears after comforting them.
"Plus I have to work the overnight. Funaki called in sick and I need to cover his shift." He sighed, nuzzling against Jou.
"I'm so sorry," Jou comforted. "I wish there was something I could say ta make you feel better."
Ryou pulled away. "I only have a few minutes, but I do need to speak with you, let's go around the corner to the coffee shop. I could use a cup of tea." He allowed Jou to clasp his hand and lead him away from the hospital.
Jou ordered a black tea for Ryou and a decaf latte for himself at the counter while Ryou sat in a booth and waited. In the harsh fluorescent light of the overheads, Jou could see clearly the troubled expression on his lover's face. He carefully brought the steaming cups to the table, placing the tea before the Ryou before sliding onto the opposite bench, facing him.
Ryou absently stirred his tea, avoiding eye contact. "You truly love me, don't you?" He said finally, looking up at Jou.
He pushed his bangs out of his eyes. "Yah, of course," he replied, reaching across the narrow Formica tabletop and stroking Ryou's hand.
"And you'll always love me, won't you?"
"Yesss," Jou replied slowly, contemplating his lover's questions. "Ryou, what's going on?" he asked, concerned.
Ryou looked at his reflection in the glass. Looked past it to the streetlights beyond. "I don't know how to tell you this. I don't want to hurt you."
Jou felt a coldness creep over his body. "Just tell me," he urged softly.
"I'm such a coward," Ryou continued, "I'm afraid that I'm going to make you hate me."
"I could never hate you! Dear, sweet Ryou, you couldn't hurt a fly on purpose!" He saw a tear slip from his lover's chocolate eyes.
"I don't deserve your love," Ryou said miserably.
"Ya startin' ta scare me now, please just tell me what's wrong," Jou pleaded. He could see how much the secret was hurting Ryou.
He rubbed the tears from his eyes, looked into Jou's earnest face. "I don't know where to begin."
"C'mon, how bad can it be?"
"I saw Malik today."
"Did that bastard threaten you?! 'Cause if he did--" Jou exploded.
"No, Jou! It wasn't like that at all!" Ryou's eyes widened with alarm. "We-we had lunch together."
Jou felt a tightening in his chest, and he imagined that his heart had stopped beating as he waited for Ryou to continue.
"He wants me back. He said that he's come to realize how awful he was to me, he asked for another chance."
"You didn't--"
"Jou, I think he really has changed."
"What did you say ta him?!" Anger leaked into Jou's voice. His eyes narrowed dangerously. Goddamned Malik.
"You will hate me," Ryou said resignedly. "I-- I still have feelings for him."
"You mean after all we've been through, you can just turn your back on us? 'Cause he says he's changed?" The blond asked wide-eyed.
"No! I can't do that! I love you, Jou!" Ryou reached out and cupped Jou's face. You've been so kind to me, and this is how I repay you," he sobbed.
"So what're ya trying ta say here?" Jou said coldly.
"I don't know. This is killing me, Jou. I love you, but I--I think I still love him--"
"After everything he's done to you?!" Jou hissed incredulously.
"He's been acting so kind lately. Really trying to be nice to me," Ryou admitted.
Jou shut his eyes tightly and grimaced. "Lately?" he growled accusingly. "Ya mean you've been seein' him behind my back!" His voice rose further in anger.
"No, not like that! I mean--we've met for lunch a couple of times, nothing more. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to upset you!"
Jou felt rage well up from deep inside. He took a deep breath, and counted to ten before he spoke. His voice was deadly quiet.
"Ya know, I could handle it if ya told me ya didn't love me. Really, I could. But you went behind my back, an' that tells me that ya knew what you were doing was wrong. That means one thing. You. Don't. Respect. Me."
"No, Jou! It's not like that at all! I just didn't want to hurt you! I thought I could work it out on my own, that I wouldn't need to involve you." Ryou protested.
Jou shook his head slowly. The coldness had enveloped him fully, and an ache was building in his chest. Had it only been twenty minutes ago that he'd thought that he was the happiest man alive?
"I'm gonna make this easy fah ya, babe," he spat. "It's over." He rose to leave, collecting the check for their drinks.
Ryou looked at him, shocked. "It's over?" he repeated. "Just like that? But I don't want it to be over."
Jou gave him a bitter smile as he fumbled for some bills to pay the check. "It was over the second you decided ya couldn't confide in me. Whatever relationship we had, it's nothing but a sham now." Tears blurred his eyes. He vowed he would not shed them.
"I--I'm so sorry. Please forget I ever said anything, I don't want Malik, I want you," Ryou said desperately. "It was just a big mistake! Please, don't go!" he begged, grabbing Jou's forearm.
He froze for a second, almost losing his resolve as he looked into Ryou's gentle, expressive eyes. How many nights had he lost himself in those eyes as they smoldered with passion, with lust? And yet, he realized now, there had always been a voice whispering to him, taunting him that he was the consolation to the prize that Ryou had run from. He sighed, knowing full well that he could not hate Ryou for what he'd known in his heart all along. As happy as he'd made Ryou, it was Malik who Ryou loved with complete abandon. Oh, he was furious, he was deeply hurt, and he wanted to make Ryou ache in the same way he did now, but he did not hate him.
"Ryou, I won't compete with Malik for your love," Jou said softly, pulling his arm away. "Ya said you wanted to figure it out on your own, now you can. I'm gonna pay the check and leave. Consider it my parting gift."
Jou heard Ryou sob as he left him in the coffee shop. He could no longer allow himself to care--he only wanted to escape the shards of the relationship he had left behind.
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In The Name Of Love