Please Come Back Home | By : ChibiRinni Category: Yu-Gi-Oh > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 2540 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or any songs used in this fic. I make no money off this. |
ChibiRinni: Hi Everyone! This is going to be a three shot and I’ve actually tried to not set my normal page limits. Normally I have a 25 pg minimum and a 45 pg maximum, but this story just flowed and I didn’t want to stretch it or shrink it. I’m not sure where it’s going, but I hope you all like the trip! I did my best to slide the lyrics into what the character was saying instead of separate for the first part. I hope it makes sense and always, REVIEW! I do love reading and replying to reviewers! The first song is “Where’d You Go” by Fort Minor and the second song is “Changes” by Black Sabbath. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or the songs: “Where’d You Go” by Fort Minor and “Changes” by Black Sabbath. I make no money off this. Please don’t sue me. ^.^;; *Song Lyrics are in bold. ****************************************************************************** “You left and I just can’t take these empty halls anymore. No one can! I know I said I would stay always, but how could I have known that it would hurt so much to be apart? I… GAH! This doesn’t sound right either! Take a deep breath.” Chocolate eyes closed and in a fit of frustration he crumpled up his half written letter. A lean and long body stretched out in an office chair of soft leather. Slim fingers rubbed two thrumming temples and a sigh escaped slightly chapped lips. “This… is so… hard.” Memories assaulted his mind. Touches, kisses, fights, and smiles blurred until he realized it was his own tears blinding him. The male sat up and leisurely wiped his eyes, a soft sad smile gracing his face. “I guess my heart is having a hard time realizing that it’s all over… I know if I see your face I won’t be able to say anything except ‘welcome home’. Then you will leave and break my heart again. Like a drug, I need to find some way to quit you. My mouth fumbles with words, but I know my heart can make my point. I need to just calm down and let everything flow; at least that’s what my best friend was saying.” A lung full of air and he rose from his seat, “I’ll get to it tomorrow.” About a week had passed and it was back to being a lonely Saturday evening. His body was tight and jittery as he hunched over the phone. Every little sound of an empty and old house seemed to echo and none of them were the sound he truly wanted to hear. The familiar buzz of the phone is what his heart beat for. Minutes went by. A whole hour went by and he finally gave up. “I’m so tired of this. My heart hurts.” His eyes closed, “I have to leave. I need to set myself free from these four-walls of happiness and sorrow… I decided… I’m moving out.” Yet again, for the hundredth time, it felt like, he picked up a pen and put it to some lined paper. Neatly, he addressed the letter to the one man who could build him up and break him down like a stack of baby blocks. “Dear Seto, “I bet this is the last thing you would have expected to see upon walking through the door. You are so used to me in person and yet this time all you get is this small piece of paper. As you can see those writing classes you had me take did have an effect on me. Before I get off track, and ramble on like I do in person, I’m going to set the purpose for this letter straight. We’ve been together for so many years and yet, the past three to four years or so have been different. Each trip you take gets longer and the time apart separates us further. The question I have for you is: *Where'd you go?” Tears rushed to his eyes and he set his jaw stiff. His teeth clenched as he forced himself to continue with his letter. “Really, Seto, where are you? Where did you go? You know what I mean by that. It isn’t about this trip to England, or that trip in New York, Brazil, or even Canada. You haven’t been here for so long that I feel like I will forget what your face looks like! So where’d you really go? Seto I just, I miss you so, and it seems like it's been forever… that you've been gone. “I remember when Mokuba still lived here. You don’t know it, but that brother of yours loves you so much. I couldn’t even tell you how many times he’s encouraged me to wait out the long periods of your absence… but he’s gone too now. After his two years at community college were over he went back for more school and left. He’s been there over four years now and from what he says on the phone to me… he’s found a girl he likes and they’ve been dating for a while. She’s a transfer student like him and they have a lot in common. Did you know that? Did you know he asked her if she’d come to Christmas this year and that she was looking forward to it? I haven’t told him that I won’t be here yet. I couldn’t tell him yet; I needed to tell you first. “I remember back a few years ago, just before the loneliness truly started to get to me, what you said. Did you think I’d forget? Even my friends remember, they said to me, “I thought he said, "Some days I feel like shit, some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit." Did he change his mind?” I had to smile and defend you. I had to lie and tell them that this was your last trip and then you wouldn’t need to travel so much. I don't understand why you have to always be gone. I get along, but the trips always feel so long. There is no one else here now, except me; and… me? I find myself trying to stay by the phone, 'cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone… But I feel like an idiot; workin' my day around your call, but when I pick up I don't have much to say. “I know that reading this isn’t going to be easy for you, but it’s time you finally knew… how I really feel. You know I never tried to stop you with your career. I knew how important it was for you, but you told me it was not as important as US. When I talk to you on the phone, the few and far between times, I try so hard to say I’m unhappy, that I’m tired of this life with you gone all the time, but I can’t. I get so afraid that you will hang up and then act like it never happened weeks later when you call again. In this letter I can tell you everything I was too afraid to say, I’m just sorry it took me this long to say it. So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up that I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin', tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career, me and the rest of the family here! You don’t even call Mokuba that much anymore. He’s the only family you have left other than me… and now I’m gone too. I get so sad here now it’s like even the birds are singing, "Where'd you go?" “Seto, I miss you so and it really seems like it's been forever that you've been gone on these trips of yours. How many more will it take before you are satisfied? I feel like I have to keep saying this because I figure if I repeat it enough then it might just stick in your mind, what has happened in your absence. I sit here, day after day and wonder where'd you go and if you’re missing me or not. Is it so good over there that you don’t want to come home so quickly? Does it matter to you that I miss you so and how it seems like it's been forever that you've been gone? Is there someone else there to talk to and take up your time? Is that why you don’t call me much anymore? I’m not accusing you of cheating. This “someone” can simply be a business person you are meeting with. You know, I keep sitting here thinking about how I want you to be home, how I need you to reassure me that everything will be okay… but it’s not okay and you’re not here. Seto, please come back home! “Do you remember that you have a home here to come back to? You know… the place where you used to live? I remember when we’d have get-togethers and how we used to barbecue up burgers and ribs even though barbecue was never your favorite. Even then you would do it because I liked the variety and you’d have yourself something simpler and more Japanese. Remember the holidays and the parties we would throw? Every year we used to have a little party every Halloween with candy by the pile. It still is our favorite holiday, at least you used to tell me it was yours too, but now, you only stop by every once and a while and half the time it was only because of the holiday, like some obligation. Even then, we stopped having the party two years in a row. “Without you here it’s like my day suddenly gained more time and I don’t care if you think I’m full of shit when I say that. Really, I find myself just fillin' my time with anything and everything just to keep the thought of you from my mind. It’s just too hard to think about you anymore without feeling like I lost a part of myself. When you’re with someone as long as we’ve been together and one of them is gone it’s like half of the other person’s self has gone with them. Though I am nursing my broken heart, and yes I am hurt by my decision to leave you as well, I find that otherwise I'm doin' fine and I plan to keep it that way. It’s almost as if you can only call me if you find that you have something to say, but I can never seem to get a hold of you when I have something to say. Have you noticed that I stopped leaving messages and trying to get a hold of you? “Honestly, how long do you think I need to wait? I’ve waited for years, seeing you only every four, then five, and then six months. Did you know it’s now been over a year since the last time we saw each other? A fucking year Seto! And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little fucked up, that I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin', on tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career! I know that the world doesn’t revolve around me, but I hoped that in our later years I would be receiving a little more attention. “I had dreams too, Seto. I had dreams of us adopting a child and making our own family. And now I’m glad we didn’t, because I would be telling you the rest of the family is here crying and our broken hearts are singing, "Where'd you go?" Thing is now you and I aren’t even a family. My friends are my family. Even so, I still miss you so and it seems like it's been forever that I have seen your smile. Why is it that you've been gone from me so long? Why and where'd you go? “I remember how you would tell me I was weak, back when we didn’t know how else to flirt with each other. Call me weak now if you must, but if the shoe was on the other foot… would you have waited for me this long? Seto, I miss you so very much. Do you miss me? It seems like it's been forever that we have had a heart to heart. You've been gone so long that I have forgotten the warmth of your touch, the taste of your kiss, and the smell of our passion. I shouldn’t be able to forget things like that, but the last time I saw you… The last two times I saw you, I barely got a hug, let alone the desire I held aching for you. Please come back home...” The ringing of his cell phone caught his attention. His heart beat faster and hope filled his moist chocolate eyes. It took only a second for the caller ID to tell the male that it wasn’t the man he wanted. “Hey, Mokuba, how are you?” The pen he’d been writing with clattered loudly to the floor. There wasn’t time for this. There was a goodbye letter to finish, a life to start over, and a place he once called home to leave. “I’m surviving finals. Have you talked to Seto in a while? I have some great news, but he hasn’t called me in… months.” Mokuba trailed off for a moment, trying to recall when he last spoke to his older brother. “Join the club,” the older male snapped bitterly before changing his tone, “I haven’t spoken to him in a long time either.” The silence on the other line wasn’t a comfort. “He’ll call. You know Big Brother, when he’s busy he only eats and sleeps work… How are you doing?” The concern the college student was showing touched his heart and he had to force the tears back. He would not burden the other with his problems. College could be hard enough and it would be wrong to say anything. “You said you had news?” Bypassing the question entirely did the trick. “Oh! Yeah, well… I got a ring. I just asked Ariel to marry me and she said yes! I’m getting married! I had to call and tell you. We haven’t set a date yet, but we got time on our hands.” Mokuba beamed and blushed with pride and happiness. ‘I thought we had time… and now time’s run out for us.’ Chocolate eyes shut tightly and he pinched the bridge of his nose in thought. “That’s wonderful Mokuba! I’m sure Seto will be ecstatic when you tell him,” a small beep on the phone alerted him to call waiting, “I have a call on the other line. It might be your brother. I’ll talk to you soon?” He heard a sad sigh. “Yeah, I’ll talk to you soon. Just hang in there. Bye.” “I am. Bye buddy.” With a quick click, he switched lines. “Hello?” “Hey there, it’s been long time. What’s new?” Yugi chirped into the phone. “Oh, Yugi…” He couldn’t stop the tears any longer and openly wept on the phone. His friend gave him as much comfort over the phone as he could. “Take a breath and tell me what happened.” “I’m…leaving him! I-I can’t take this… Can you help me move out?” He choked through broken sobs. He had been packing for a while so it wouldn’t take him long at all. “Of course, I’ll come over right now.” “No, stop by tomorrow. I-I don’t have a p-place to go to… I don’t have much I’m t-taking either…” He hiccupped and punched the wall, cursing himself for breaking down. He still had a letter to write. “You are staying with me, simple as that. Get some sleep. It’s late. I’ll be by around noon and we’ll get you settled over here. You can take Grandpa’s room. He would have wanted you to take it.” Yugi’s Grandfather had passed on four years ago, but it had been expected. His passing was quiet and though it still hurt, everyone was able to say goodbye. “Thanks… so much. You are the best.” “You deserve to be happy. I want to help. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He smiled warmly even though his friend wouldn’t be able to see it. “Later.” He hung up and ran to the bathroom. The water was icy on his hot flesh, but it helped to calm him. For good measure he blew his nose to help clear his mind. A few minutes later and the male returned, back hunched over the desk, pen in hand, writing out his soul on paper. “I just spoke to Mokuba and I still couldn’t tell him. He’s engaged now. We were going to meet her, finally, this Christmas, but you will have to meet her alone. I talked to Yugi too and he’s going to help me move my things out. I’m leaving most of our things here since you paid for them. You can keep them and do what you want with them. I’m only taking what I need and what really matters to me. Seto, I want you to know it's a little fucked up, the fact that I feel like I’ll need to cut out Mokuba from my life in order to get over you. You are the one that left me, though you never made it an official break-up. I'm stuck here waitin', no longer debatin’ about whether or not I should stay. I can’t stay for Mokuba and I sure as hell can’t stay for you any longer. I need to leave for myself and move on. I’m just tired of sittin' and hatin' and makin' these excuses in order for me to stay! It’s not right or fair and even you can understand that. I shouldn’t have to lie to everyone, including myself, for why you're not around and I’m feeling so useless with nothing to do here. Nothing I’ve tried has worked to take my mind away from you. It’s time I left and moved on without you. Maybe then I can finally find some peace and happiness. “You know what? It seems one thing has been true all along: You don't really know what you've got 'til it's gone. I hope you realize that you lost the only person who was willing to wait for you. I never once used you for your money or power. I never wanted any of that. I loved you for you and with your lack of attention and care I have wilted in the empty garden you placed me in. I hope, with all my heart, that you find happiness somewhere else. I know I will. Your career has become the end of us. You just stopped caring; at least, that’s what your lack of communication tells me. “I guess I've had it with you and your career. When you come back I won't be here and you can sing it... You can be the one to look around for me and say, “Where'd you go? I’m home and I miss you so. Doesn’t it seem like it's been forever… That you've been gone? Now, Katsuya, where'd you go? It’s just I miss you so… seems like it's been forever that you've been gone… Please come back home...” “I won’t though. I will not come home. I can’t stay in an empty place like this. The only person I see here is the maid twice a week. I know you’ll say, “Please come back home...” Just like a broken record, you will repeat it over and over as if to convince yourself that I’m just angry and I’ll come to my senses if you persuade me enough. “Please come back home,” is something you’ll record on my voice mail again and again. I won’t listen. I’ll change my number and erase myself from your radar as much as I can. I’ll move far away, live in a cave in the middle of nowhere, and all just so I don’t have to see or hear you say, “Please come back home... I’m sorry. No more trips… Just this last one and I’ll be home for good, I promise. Please, just come back home...*” I’m the one that’s sorry Seto. I’m sorry I waited this long when I have wanted to leave for some time. I love you, but it’s just not enough anymore. Enjoy these four-walls of yours; these empty four walls. May they give you comfort and solace in the choices you have made and may they bring you understanding of what I went through for you. This is goodbye. “It’s over and I’m moving on. You should do the same. Goodbye. “Formerly yours, “Katsuya Jounouchi-Kaiba” With a broken heart, Katsuya signed his name in neat hand writing. He wrote the date next to it as if to fully solidify that he left on that date. Tears stained his tanned face and with shaking hands he wiped them away as much as possible. With his remaining energy he dragged the boxes of his things down the stairs and to the front door. The only things he had left to pack were his clothes and bathroom supplies. Neatly, he folded his clean clothes and packed them away, adding them to the pile of boxes by the door. He put his few dirty garments in a trash bag and left only his outfit for the next morning on the chair in his room. With a sigh, he went to bed. **I feel unhappyWhile AFF and its agents attempt to remove all illegal works from the site as quickly and thoroughly as possible, there is always the possibility that some submissions may be overlooked or dismissed in error. The AFF system includes a rigorous and complex abuse control system in order to prevent improper use of the AFF service, and we hope that its deployment indicates a good-faith effort to eliminate any illegal material on the site in a fair and unbiased manner. 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