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Hovering At the Edge of Oblivion	By : DracOnyx Category: Yu-Gi-Oh > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 3827 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh!, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 2
- 3
- 4
Disclaimer - Nope, still don't own them . . . although I'm working on it : )
Author's Note - Sorry this chapter took so long . . . too many things running around in my little head, and my muses have been having brain storms here
lately. If you could only imagine what it's like to have both Marik and Sephiroth standing behind you, prompting you to write . . . talk about a sado-masochistic nightmare. The two of them are relentless. I actually had to rewrite this chapter several times . . . I just wasn't happy with it. So, here's this
chapter, and the next chapter will be up within a week. I hope you all enjoy.
Update on Gravitation 2 and Going On - Grav 2 is stalled, but I had a lightbulb on it last night, so that should be coming soon. Going On is being
rewritten in between total boof dof depression. Sorry you've all had to be so patient, and I hope I haven't lost your attention.
Anyway, on with the story.

Chapter 3 - Despair
The waiting room was a study in silence. The group of friends Yugi most closely associated with all sat in a tense, dread filled silence that only served to
strengthen the feeling of despair and hopelessness that shrouded the entire room.
Joey sat next to Solomon, watching the man as he absently toyed with the Puzzle that was held in pale, trembling hands. They were all worried about Yugi,
but he was in the doctor's hands now, and there was nothing they could do. One other in their midst was suffering however . . . and he had no one to help
him.
Ryou had been the first to ask after Yami when Solomon had arrived. The reply had not been hopeful . . . after Solomon had broken the news to him, the
spirit had simply disappeared without a word . . . and had not come back out since. They were at a loss to reach him . . . only Yugi could enter Yami's
Soul Room or contact him within the Puzzle . . . and all of them were worried. Joey above anyone knew just how much the former Pharaoh was probably
beating himself up over failing to protect his hikari, and they all knew that if Yugi was going to have any chance of recovery, Yami would need to be by his
side.
The doctor's sudden reappearance sent all of them scrambling to their feet.
"Mr. Motou?" Solomon stepped forward anxiously, his hands clenching the Puzzle tightly in anxiety.
"Yes?" he murmured. "How is my grandson?" The doctor looked at him solemnly.
"Your grandson is in very bad shape, Mr. Motou," he said without preamble. "He was lucky in the fact that the car merely grazed him, but he is such a
slight young man that it did more damage than it would have normally. Our biggest concern . . . is that he refuses to interact with anything. We fear there
may have been some damage to the brain tissue that isn't apparent at the moment. We'd like to keep him for observation for several days." Solomon
nodded shakily.
"May we see him?" Tea asked. The doctor shook his head.
"I'm afraid we can only allow close family at this time," he said. "Although he did say one word . . . a name, I believe. Ryou?" The white haired teen
stepped forward, surprised.
"That's me," he said tentatively.
"We think it might be good for him if we allow you in to see him, since he asked for you," the doctor murmured. "Perhaps . . .you can get some
interaction out of him." Ryou nodded, and followed Solomon and the doctor out the door, promising the others he would tell them everything when he
came back.
It was all Solomon could do not to break down as they stepped through the door to Yugi's hospital room. The small body was surrounded by machines
and wires, dwarfing the slight form down to almost insignificant size. Yugi himself lay staring at the ceiling, amethyst eyes open and unfocused.
"Yugi?" Solomon whispered, stepping closer. In response, amethyst eyes flickered towards him, but returned their gaze to the ceiling. "I brought the
Puzzle . . ." He was startled to see tears drip slowly from suddenly dark eyes . . . eyes that closed in pain but made no other acknowledgment of his
statement. Sighing, he placed it on the table near the bed, patting Ryou on the shoulder before withdrawing, confused.
Ryou had watched it all silently, noting the reactions carefully. As the door closed silently behind Solomon, he approached the bed, sinking onto the edge
carefully so as not to disturb any of Yugi injuries. It was several minutes before he spoke.
"Something happened between you and Yami, didn't it?" he whispered. Amethyst eyes flew open in surprise, meeting chocolate brown ones warily. Ryou
smiled, shaking his head. "Yugi, it's been obvious to me at least that you've started having feelings for him. I may have been in the Shadow Realm for a
while, but it didn't affect my eyesight." He sighed, pale fingers running through even paler hair absently. "To be honest . . . I know how you feel."
"H . . . how?" Yugi asked, his voice barely hearable and laced with pain. Ryou shrugged, blushing slightly before he replied.
"Because as much as I hate my yami . . . I love him too," the teenager murmured at last. His blush deepened under Yugi's gaze as amethyst eyes stared at
him in shock. "I know he's evil . . . he's sadistic and cruel and completely heartless . . . but you guys don't know him like I do. You don't see him . . .
when we're alone, in his soul room, he's different." Pale fingers toyed with the Ring absently, making the spikes ring slightly as they danced. "He's . . .
he's gentle, and kind . . . and I think he really cares about me. He's just afraid of being seen as weak. It . . . took us a long time to reach the point where he
would even let me see that side of him, Yugi. And . . . even though he's not a living person, he's a part of me. I couldn't live without him . . . but I tried to
die without him."
Yugi stared in horror as Ryou bared his arms, pointing out the pale scars that ran up his arms. They were barely discernable against the paleness of his
flesh, but once he had pointed them out, they were impossible to miss.
"I . . . tried to kill myself right after Battle City was over. He found me bleeding on the bathroom floor . . . forced me into my soul room, took over my
body, and just about killed himself forcing the Ring to heal me. Afterwards . . . I was afraid he was going to beat me to death anyway. Imagine my surprise
. . . when he practically collapsed on me. He made me swear never to scare him like that again, and told me that he caabouabout me. It wasn't a declaration
of love . . . but it was close enough for me." He glanced up as Yugi's hand covered his own, gripping it tightly.
"We never knew . . ." the tri-haired duelist whispered. Ryou smiled sadly and shook his head.
"I knew you would think Bakura had done this to me," he replied softly. "But he really cares about me . . . just like Yami really cares about you."
Amethyst eyes darkened to near violet at that statement . . . Ryou could practically see Yugi pulling back into his shell. "Yugi . . . Yami loves you. But he
doesn't think it's possible for the two of you to be together, so he won't tell you."
"My hikari is right . . ." a deeper voice growled from the other side of the bed. Ryou smiled as Yugi nearly jumped out of his skin before amethyst eyes
turned to meet the red tinted brown of the Spirit of the Millennium Ring. "I . . . was extremely uncomfortable with the thought myself, even after Ryou told
me he loved me." Bakura still appeared extremely uncomfortable, although Yugi chalked it up to the fact that the usually volatile and stand-offish thief was
opening up to the hikari of his enemy. "But knowing the Pharaoh, he's going through the same thing I did . . . if not worse. You two should talk."
"I disgusted him . . ." Yugi whispered finally. Both Bakura and Ryou stared at him in silence, waiting for him to continue. "Right before . . . before I ran
out of the house, we ended up touching while he was in the form you're in now. I pulled back, embarrassed . . . but the link was wide open. He must have
sensed my feelings! I sensed his . . . he was disgusted. He doesn't . . . he doesn't love me . . . not like that." Yugi sighed, amethyst eyes closing in pain.
"I've driven a wedge between the two halves of my soul . . ." Crystalline tears tracked down the pale face. "Please . . . can you just leave me alone for a
little while?" he whispered brokenly. Ryou nodded, standing up slowly as Bakura disappeared back into the Ring.
"If you need to talk . . ." he offered one last time. There was no response. Sighing, he walked from the room, leaving the room empty of everything save
Yugi . . . and the forgotten Millennium Puzzle on the night stand.

*-------*--------*-------*-------*

Yami lay in his bed, crimson eyes staring up at the maze of his soul room, unconsciously mirroring his hikari as his mind tormented him with his failure
over and over again.
'I failed him . . . I failed to protect Yugi. I allowed harm to come to my hikari . . . my aibou . . . my love . . .'
He was unaware of anything outside of the Puzzle . . . he had closed himself off to the entire world, despair swamping his soul, drowning him in darkness.
He wished that he could return to the darkness of the void . . . without Yugi, there was nothing for him in this time, this place . . .
The tears that fell failed to ease the pain in his heart as the once strong and proud Pharaoh broke down and cried until sleep claimed his tortured soul in her
soothing embrace. His last, semi-coherent thought was to wonder why he still existed . . . when his aibou was dead.

*--------*--------*--------*--------*

Time passed far too slowly for Yugi in the hospital. He was alone frequently . . . a feeling he had not had to deal with since before he had solved the
Puzzle. It festered in his heart, breeding the despair and hopelessness that constantly battered at his weary soul.
Where was Yami? Had he truly disgusted his other so much that the former Pharaoh had chosen to completely severe any contact with him?
Only Ryou . . . and Bakura, when he chose to make an appearance . . . ever saw anything other than the near catatonic state he had sunk into. At times, it
only fed his despair . . . they had a loving, full relationship, even if it did exist only in the confines of their soul rooms. It was what he had dreamed of
having with his own yami . . . and now, knowing that it could have been, it hurt far worse to have lost it for eternity.
At last, the day came when the doctor's reluctantly allowed him to leave with his grandfather. It was a day empty of emotion for him, however . . . the joy
of finally being allowed to go home was leached from the event by the echoing hollowness of the link he had once shared with Yami.
Standing in the doorway of his bedroom, he stared at the empty room in desolation, seeing again the last night he'd had his yami by his side. He shivered
violently, backing out of the room slowly, shaking his head.
"I . . . I can't go in there, Grandpa," he whispered finally. "There . . . there are too many memories in there. Can I just stay in the guest room for now?"
The elder Motou nodded, watching his grandson walk slowly down the hall to the guest room with sad, knowing eyes.
One question had remained with everyone in the group during the weeks Yugi had been in the hospital, and that was where the Spirit of the Millennium
Puzzle was. Solomon was positive that Yami hadn't cut himself off from Yugi deliberately . . . so what exactly was going on? He tried to recall the look in
Yami's eyes when he'd told him that Yugi was in the hospital, but he'd been so distraught himself that the image wouldn't come to mind. He suspected
that memory was important, however . . . somehow, if he could just recall that night, he would have the key to this whole mystery.
Something had happened between Yami and his grandson that night. . . something that had driven a wedge between the two who were so closely united as
to practically share the same soul. And it was tearing his young grandson apart. The absence of the former Pharaoh was terribly disturbing to everyone,
but to none more so than Yugi, who could only see it as a sign of his other's disgust. Had he truly misjudged the spirit's feelings towards his grandson so
much?
For not the first time his hand strayed to the phone number in his pocket, fingering the business card absently before he made a decision. Perhaps he had
waited too long . . . but this could no longer be allowed to go on. Turning abruptly, he made his way to the kitchen, where he picked up the phone,
hesitating only a moment before dialing the number on the business card . . . and hoping that he was doing the right thing.

*-------*-------*-------*-------*

The weeks went by in a kind of painful haze, the silence in Yugi's mind echoed only by the emptiness in his heart. The Puzzle remained on his desk in his
room . . . a room he refused to step foot in. He didn't step into his soul room either, for fear that in there he would definitely be able to feel the disgust he
had engendered in his dark self.
He kept mostly to himself, not eating, not really sleeping . . . simply existing. His friends couldn't understand - only Ryou, out of any of them, had any
idea what he was going through. He came to see the pale haired hikari as a life line, more than anyone else in his group of friends. Ryou understood what it
was like to have someone so close that they were a part of you, and have that person despise you.
"Come in," he replied one Sunday morning to a knock on his door. He turned with a sad smile on his face, expecting to find Ryou . . . and instead came
face to face with a pair of lavender eyes in a darkly tanned face surrounded by pale blonde hair. "Marik . . ." he murmured, startled.
"Hello Yugi," the Egyptian said, moving into the room with the careful grace of a stalking predator. "I hope you don't mind my stopping by . . ."
"Of course not," Yugi said, still slightly confused. "If you don't mind me asking . . . I thought you had gone back to Egypt?" Marik shrugged, a slight
smile crossing his lips.
"I did," he replied, sinking onto the bed slowly. "But . . . I came back. Yugi . . . your grandfather called Ishizu at the museum in Cairo. He said something
had happened between you and Yami, and that he didn't know what to do about it. I asked Ishizu to let me come." Lavender eyes regarded him steadily,
their gaze intense and focused. "What happened, Yugi? When I last saw you . . ."
"You kissed me, if I remember correctly," Yugi said dryly. Marik laughed slightly, a throaty chuckle that reminded the small duelist of his other.
"Indeed," Marik said after several moments, still smiling. "But other than that. You and Yami seemed on steady ground . . . what changed that?" Amethyst
eyes darkened for a moment before Yugi finally replied.
"I . . . that scroll you gave us. We were going to study it . . . and we touched." Marik looked confused. "While he was in ghostly form." The blonde hair
swayed as Marik shook his head, still confused.
"How did that change things?" he asked. "I know the two of you have 'touched' before . . . and to be frank, from what I've seen, I would have thought
you would welcome the contact now more than ever." Yugi flushed slightly at the reminder that everyone had seen his interest for what it was long before
he'd realized it, but shook his head.
"I did . . . and that's what did it. I pulled back in surprise, because I enjoyed the touch . . . and Yami got a good look at my feelings for him. You didn't
see his face Marik . . . nor feel the absolute disgust and pain that came through our link. It abhorred him, Marik!"
The young Egyptian sat back, his gaze calmly studying Yugi as amethyst eyes lowered to the ground, one pale, trembling hand dashing away the tears that
once again threatened to fall.
"Yugi," he said finally, "have you talked to Yami at all since that night?" Yugi shook his head shakily.
"The link . . . it's been cut off. My grandpa was the last person to see him . . . when he told him I'd been hit by a car." Marik looked concerned.
"Then . . . Yami doesn't know you're all right?" Yugi shook his head again. "Yugi," Marik murmured, "you know Yami better than anyone. If your
grandfather told him that you'd been hit by a car . . . how would Yami react?" Especially after the two of you had just had a fight?" Yugi looked stunned,
amethyst eyes meeting the solemn lavender gaze in shock.
"He . . . oh Ra, he'd blame himself . . ." Yugi whispered hoarsely, his voice pained. "Oh gods . . . Marik . . ." The blonde head nodded, hearing the
requen hin his voice.
"Go, Yugi. You know how . . . I'll keep watch." Yugi hugged him briefly before sinking back into his bed, falling easily into the relaxed state Yami had
taught him in order to access his soul room.
He opened his eyes moments later, staring up at the familiar ceiling of his soul room for a moment to orient himself before sliding out of the black silk
covered bed. He sprinted across the room to his door, throwing it open and dashing across to Yami's door. He stared at it for a moment in concern . . .
was it his imagination, or did the gold of his dark's door seem somewhat dimmed? He experienced a moment of panic . . . could something have
happened to Yami while the link was cut off? He opened the door hesitantly, stepping inside . . . and suddenly, his eyesight was gone.
There was no light in the room at all . . . it was as if he had suddenly been dipped into a vat of ink, unable to see anything, not even his hand when he
waved it in front of his face. Now he was truly worried . . . it had never been this dark in the room before. Recalling the lay out of the room took a few
moments . . . during which a brief whimper caught his attention. If his memory was correct, that whimper had come from the direction of the bed Yami
slept in . . . when he slept at all, which wasn't often.
Feeling his way over to the far corner, his fingers finally came into contact with silken sheets, causing a sigh of relief to pass his lips. If the bed was still
here, then Yami had to be here . . . didn't he?
"Yami?" he murmured. There was another whimper. "Yami . . . please, answer me . . . I'm sorry . . ." he whispered.
"Yugi . . ." Yami's voice floated to him out of the darkness. Yugi nearly wept to hear it . . . the strong, confident baritone he had always found so
comforting was dimmed, almost non-existent in it's pain filled tones.
"Yami, I'm here . . . I'm so sorry," he said.
"I failed you . . ." Yami whispered. Yugi stopped, confused. "I wasn't there to protect you, and now I've lost you forever . . ." Yugi gasped as he
realized what was going on . . . Yami had sealed himself off after his grandfather told him the news. Yami didn't just think he was hurt . . . his other
thought he was dead!
"Yami . . . Yami, please, wake up! I'm right here . . . I'm okay! I thought you hated me . . ." A brief sigh whispered through the still air, followed by
words that nearly stopped Yugi's heart.
"I never got to tell you that I loved you."
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Hovering At the Edge of Oblivion